29 September 2005

I Wish I Had Some Juice

Well I do have some juice, but it's downstairs in the fridge and I don't feel like walking all that way. I'm slothish tonight.

Last night I had THE most wonderful time at Zuey's. It started out kinda shizey, cuz no one was there really that I like to talk to. KT was working instead of KL because Friday is her last day before maternity leave. So he and I talked a little, then right after I had just started drinking my first beer, the boring kid came in. He is so fucking boring. Oh my god, I slammed my beer and he bought my next two, and I think we had only been sitting there for an hour. RC (formerly RJ) was there too and we talked a little bit but he was getting tipsy so, of course, he just up and disappeared.
Finally CC (from a few Saturdays ago) came in and sat on the other side of the bar. I kept mouthing, "Help Me" and nodding my head to the side like I had turrets until he finally came over. We talked, and the boring kid eventually got the hint after I basically ignored him for like twenty minutes. I feel kinda bad, cuz he always buys me a couple beers, but I never ask for them and I've turned them down a few times. He is just so boring. He told me this long ass story about his ex fiance who was in a motorized wheelchair and how in the course of their year-long relationship he spent over $800,000.00 on her - apparently her chair broke and he bought her a new one. How he did that, I will never know. As long as I have been listening to this boring kid, he has worked in the cafeteria at OSU... they sure don't make that kinda money there. Anyway, back to CC.
We sat and talked... yeah. We have really good conversations. He got pretty drunk though, because he had come from the Newport where he had seen the Doves play in concert (I say that as if I have ever heard of the Doves before last night) and drank a lot there and even before the concert. He apologized for the whole dropping him off on the side of the road thing. I was like "Why didn't you tell me you had a girlfriend" and he said it was because I didn't ask. Grrr. No excuse. Absence of truth is equal to a lie. He didn't agree, but he apologized profusely and said he would like to spend some quality time with me. I said that might be okay. After a few hours he had to leave, so we went out to his car cuz I was just being nice. He said he wanted to sit and talk so we went to my car cuz it was closer. He offered to go down on me, which I thought was awfully nice, and I just kinda skirted the issue. We talked some more, and then he left and I went back in the bar.
Some chicks were there and KT was flirting with one of them. They looked like weasley little pigs, with teeny eyes and turned up noses. The younger one was really nice but the older one, that KT was flirting with, was pretty fucking bitchy. Somehow we got talking about the OSU fire from like four years ago where those five kids died. Chad the Crackhead that tried to kill MF admitted to starting that fire and he's going to prison in January for that and a few other things. This chick was telling me I was wrong - I'm like, Okay girlie, whoever the fuck you are, how else would I know that the fire was started with a Malatov Cocktail? Hmmm? How come Chad is going to prison in January for it? Hmmm? She tried to look all sad and shit and I was like whatever because she kept fighting with me. Finally I was like whatever sorry about your friends and turned away to finish talking to her sister (the nicey.)
Suddenly, everyone was gone except for me, RC (who had come back) and BR. BR was drinking again and I wasn't too thrilled about that but hey, he's an adult, I just don't want to see him back in the hospital. I will admit he's a lot more fun when he's had a few though, and that weird little gait he walks with isn't so prominent. We danced a little, like high school sluts, and then he got bored I guess because he started straightening the chairs. How odd. I, of course, showed my tits a whole bunch because KT likes them, and RC actually looked this time. Usually he doesn't, unless I'm showing off new jewelry or something, but it was hilarious - I flopped them out and he goes, "Holy Hell Girl I didn't even realise the immenseness!" or something RC-ish that started with Holy Hell and ended with immenseness. Crazy.
I drove home in the pouring rain and on the way I called SL. He told me they were being followed by the blue lights flashing and I was certain he was gonna go to jail. SL in the hooskow would not make for a pleasant vacation. I finally got ahold of him tonight and he's not in the slammer, thank god. Obviously.
I'm feeling kinda shitty, I think I'm gonna go to bed.

I knew it.

Click here.

My fate:

"While swimming, a power line falls into the pool you're in, sending a million volts of electricity through your body. You're fried instantly."

28 September 2005

Lazy Alcoholic Homosexual II

So, where did I leave off? Oh, yes it was April 18th, 2002, and MMA and I had just gotten verbally engaged. It was about 3 a.m. and I immediately went upstairs to wake Megan up to tell her the good news. I was fucking thrilled. She groggily woke up and hugged me, and we went down to the basement to sit and drink a beer with MMA and smoke a cigarette. Megan stayed up for a little while with us and then went back to bed. MMA and I chilled for awhile, had a few more beers (okay, after that we got trashed.) Suddenly MMA goes into the bathroom and starts puking his guts out. I'm like "What the fuck?" because he hadn't had that many beers - I think we had about six or eight each, and we weren't terribly drunk either, just blah drunk. I did something for him that I had never done for anyone in my life... I rubbed his back and patted a cold wet paper towel on his forehead, while he puked. Anyone who knows me knows that I cannot stand the sound of puking. I don't mind the sight of it too much, I still mind it but not so much, but it's really the sound of that wrong-way moving throat muscles that really get to me. I was so nice to MMA... We went to bed and everything was great.
The next day we went to the mall to pick out rings. I had a Zale's credit card from when I was engaged to Cowboy, and figured we could use that to get the rings. MMA said he felt bad having me put them on my card, but he would save up the money and pay me back as soon as possible. He was only a waiter at this point in time, but he was working on getting his websites back up and that would bring lots of money in, no problem. I didn't see a problem with this, since the rings were going on a credit card anyway, which gave me time to pay them off. The girl at the store said the rings would be in by Tuesday, April 23rd, 2002. If only I knew what was to come along with those tiny bands of white gold.

27 September 2005


I updated again. There are now over 100 pics in my photo album. Again, warning, there is adult material. The new pics of me are at the beginning and the new pics of my kittens (who are now toddlers!) are at the very very end with a few new miscellaneous pics inbetween.

Click Here For Pics

Strange Dream... Six?

I think this is the sixth strange dream documented in the blog... not sure.

So, in this dream, GG and TG live in the attic of an opulent house belonging to a teeny little asian woman. The house is all gold and mirrors and reds, but the attic is cute and countryish. GG and I are hanging out in the attic with my (dream) husband, NB (now that is weird!) and just talking. TG comes up the stairs and has two feral cats with him. One is a Ragdoll female cat, and the other is a Persian. They are really dirty and have chunks of mud and mats in their fur. The cats are hissing and screaming and causing a general ruckus in the attic. TG lets them go, and they fly straight for GG; she is sitting in a wheelchair for some reason, even though we all know she isn't disabled, even in the dream. It's just her chair of choice. The cats sit on her lap and foam at the mouth, staring each other down. GG thinks they are playing and tries to pet them and they just stare at her, growling. NB tells me that I need to take a shower with the asian lady's special soaps and shampoos, because he heard that that would make the cats calm. So he and I sneak down into the main part of the house, and find a special shower/bath area with a huge walk in shower (seriously, you could fit like 8 people in it) and a giant bathtub (again, 8 people) and all sorts of oils and soaps and stuff like that. NB sets up a bath for me, with bubbles and everything (it could have been romantic, but I was concerned about getting the feral cats to calm down.) I take a bath while he watches out for the asian woman to come home. When I'm done with the bath, I get into the shower to rinse off the bubbles and bath oils, and NB spontaneaously joins me. Nothing happens, we just rinse off. We get out and as we're drying off, the asian woman comes home but we get out of the bathroom just in time as she walks around the corner. She smiles and says "hello" and NB and I walk upstairs to the attic. GG hears us come in and she says, "What did you guys do? The cats disappeared!" So NB and I figure out that by taking a bath and a shower, the cats will not only calm down but they will disappear completley. We leave GG to go find TG because we know he's out collecting more wild cats and we want to stop him. NB and I are driving down the road (which looks exactly like Route 82 in Macedonia, OH, where I grew up) and we see a pack of wild cats in the K-Mart parking lot. NB jumps out of the car and I scoot over to the driver's side. He runs towards the K-Mart doors to warn people to get back inside, and the pack of cats turns on him. They chase him to the doors and since it's night time and the K-Mart is just closing, they have just locked the doors. The pack of wild cats devours NB, bones and clothes and everything. It's like he wasn't even there. I'm terrified now, so I drive over to the Burger King and buy a bunch of chicken tenders and Whoppers and I'm tossing them out the window, wrapper and all, to try and keep these cats at bay til I can get back to the house and take a bath and a shower. I finally get to the house and I'm running inside, stepping on cats as I go. I'm in, and ready to take a bath and a shower, and the asian lady is there, yelling at me. She says I can't take a bath or a shower, neither one, because my American body isn't fit to touch her gold tub and shower floor. She said she would have to completely destroy the entire bathroom after my terribly soul came in contact with it. I told her that the neighborhood was in danger, and I had to take a shower and a bath to get the cats to disappear. So she makes an agreement, I can bathe and shower in her regular bathroom, using the special soaps and oils and so on. I don't think it will work, but I try it anyway. The asian lady sets up the bathroom for me, draws the bath, and leaves me a few raggedy towels. I start to wonder if I need NB in the shower in order for it to work completely. I'm in the bath, soaking and washing with the special soap, when NB walks in. I stand up and get water all over the floor, but he comes to me and hugs me. "I thought those cats devoured you!" I cry, and he says, "I thought they were going to but I slipped through this crack in the pavement and ended up in the K-Mart basement. The cats couldn't figure it out." We hug again, and he tells me that we better shower now because the feral cats outside are getting wilder. He takes off his clothes and gets in, and we shower. We take a really long shower because there are a lot of cats. Again, nothing happens (ha, you know, sexually.) We get out and dry off, and NB gets dresses and goes to check on GG and the pack of cats. I am getting ready, drying my hair and stuff, and I notice that there is a puzzle on the bathroom counter. There is a picture of an eye, a square, and a sphere. I'm trying to figure it out, and suddenly I do - I put my contacts lens case on the picture of the eye, my washcloth on the picture of the square, and my cigarette on the sphere (not sure how that one worked, but whatever.) There is a huge BOOM! and a bright flash outside, and all the hissing and screaming stops. I walk upstairs, and NB looks at me and says, "It was the weirdest thing - they just disintegrated!" We get GG and bring her downstairs, still in her wheelchair, and we all three go outside for a walk. There are no cats anywhere, and no one remembers the cats even being around. I wake up when a car alarm outside starts going off.

24 September 2005

I Do Not Enjoy Being a Girl.

Ok, I'm dumb.

I'm semi-upset over this stupid thing.

Ok, so, I have pretty much stopped drinking. I've got it down to where I will go out and have two beers or one cocktail and then drink O'Doul's for the rest of the time. Doesn't save any money really, but it saves my liver I guess.

Anyway, the last few weeks I have been so trashed, and when I come home to talk to SL on the phone, I either can't make it through the conversation and have to hang up soon or I pass out cold and wake up with the phone under my head. I apologize profusely the next day, and he always says it's alright. Doesn't keep me from feeling bad about it though.
So this weekend, as I mentioned in the last post, his friend is in town. Friend only comes to town every other week, so I understand how important it is for them to hang out. Last night I actually talked to Friend for about ten minutes while SL was off doing who knows what. I also got passed around to three chicks, they were all trashed. SL told me he loved me last night (as I also mentioned before) and Friend even called me SL's girl and all that but...

If anyone couldn't tell, which is totally possible, I have ZERO self-esteem when it comes to relationships with men. I know I rock at my job, singing, and being friendly (kinda) but when it involves men... yeah. No. I'm always worried that at any given moment he (whoever he may be) will just drop me like a hot potato and never talk to me again. It's happened so many times that I think I'm just used to it. I don't know what will happen in the future with SL and me, but I would like to think that something awesome will come of this. I truly have not felt this way about someone in over four years. It's crazy because I never have met SL yet, but I don't know, maybe I'm just being dumb.

I can't get him out of my head.

I wish I knew exactly how he felt about me. Sure, he says things like putting my first name with his last name and waxing poetic about how awesome it sounds and what a great Army wife I would make... things like how he can't wait to meet me (which I'm sure is true) and what he's going to do to/for/with me when I'm there... sometimes I'll remind him that since I've never been with anyone who has his first name he better make it good and he'll tell me that I won't have the opportunity to be with anyone with his name (other than him) or anyone else for that matter, once we meet... I've joked that he will fall madly in love with me and he agrees... things like all that make me think that he probably feels the same way I do - maybe not as strong or as romantically, but probably the same. Oh, if only I knew.

The point of this whole rant is that every day it gets closer to driving to Florida, I get more worried that when I get there he won't like me. SL tells me to shut it, that I'm talking crazy, and how could he not like me, but I know it could happen. He could even find a girlfriend between now and then, anything could happen. He tells me he loves me everyday, but still, I'm so worried. I'm just being a dumb girl who thinks too much about situations... I hope.

So, yeah. I'm just jealous of Friend because he gets to spend time with SL, I'm slightly upset with no reason to be because SL has not talked to me more than 15 minutes in the last three days. I know I should not be upset because I have done the same exact thing to SL many, many times, but still, I feel bad. I should be happy that he's spending time with his best friend and I should not be jealous or upset, and I am happy, but still... I'm so dumb.

I had a dream when I napped on the couch after the OSU game. It was a strange dream, where I was married to someone I didn't recognize. We lived in Indiana. I was an older woman, probably about sixty five, and my husband was about the same age. He was a very tall man, with gray hair and Buddy Holly glasses, and a mean wrinkle to his face. We had children and grandchildren, and they all hated me. I was having sex with my husband, and it was terrible. Everything hurt. He only wanted to do it one way, I suppose you could call it reverse cowboy, sitting up instead of laying down. He had on those stupid glasses and I asked him to take them off and he pushed me forward on the bed, claiming I was ignorant and a terrible wife. I got dressed after he stormed out of the room, and went to visit with my daughter and the grandkids in the living room. For some reason they were staying with us for the weekend. I asked if my granddaughter needed a bath, and my daughter said yes, so I offered to draw it for her and give her some toys to play with. My daughter sighed loudly and said that would be fine, but she would be watching me the whole time. It was not like a child molester thing, I think in the dream I was losing my mind like alzheimers or something. I took my granddaughter into the bathroom and drew the bath for her, with lots of bubbles and toys like little boats and sailors, they were the same toys I had when I was little (in real life.) She was playing that she was an octopus, and when I washed her hair she dunked under the water to rinse it. As she did that, my daughter walked in and yelled at me for letting the little girl drown. My granddaughter popped out of the water, smiling and laughing, but my daughter just grabbed her from the tub and wrapped her in a blanket, calling me ignorant. I sat on the floor and cried while the water drained. When I got up, I walked out to the living room again, only to find that everyone had left. I knew they had gone out to dinner because that had been the plan, but I was hurt they had left me home. The phone rang and it was IG, and I only knew because it came up on the caller ID, he didn't say a word other than "Answer the door when the bell rings" and hung up. I kinda looked at the phone and contemplated calling him back, when the door bell rang. It was MC (I don't think I've mentioned him in real life but he's IG's best friend, also from Brazil, also blind), and he came bustling in (he wasn't blind in the dream) and started straightening up my house. He went to my bedroom and I heard a little poofy explosion noise (like when Cinderella's pumpkin turns into a carriage) and then he came out, kissed me on the forehead, and left. We're all in our sixties, still. I look into the bedroom and it has been transformed from looking like 1950's drab to beautiful romantic flowers and fluffy things and wispy fabrics. In my dream I wonder if I'm dreaming. Then the doorbell rings again. I open it, and there is SL standing with a bunch of daisies and wearing his Army uniform. I welcome him in and we go straight to the bedroom and make love. Not fucking, making love. In the middle of it all, I hear my husband saying, in a far away voice, "Kelly? Kelly? Wake up, wake up, Kelly?" and as I'm hearing this, SL takes me in his arms and holds me tightly, saying "Don't worry, everything will be fine now." As we finish making love, and I'm feeling better than I have in forty years, I hear my daughter's voice, crying, "Dad, she's gone. Call the ambulance." And SL and I get up and get dressed, and I walk him to the front door, and he says to me, "The car is waiting outside, you don't need to get anything, let's just go" and I follow him out to a beautiful green pasture where my front yard once was, and there's a red Mustang (like the one I have now in real life!) there waiting and we get in and drive away. I woke up because a kitten bit my toe, but I'm pretty sure that was the end of the dream. How fucking weird, not to mention really damn cheesy.

I highly doubt that SL will read this, but there's a slight chance, but it's okay.

Forty Days.


This week went by pretty quickly. Monday I stayed home, Tuesday was karaoke, Wednesday I... went to Zuey's, had 4 beers, then Fuzz and I went to Hot Spot where we split a pitcher and I sang with NMc then back to Zuey's for three sips of beer before I went home trashed, Thursday stayed home and watched "A Very Long Engagement" which was fairly disappointing, SL was drunk so I didn't talk to him much but he did tell me "I love you" in front of his friends, Friday stayed home, watched "Kinsey" which was very good if somewhat disturbing since it's true, called SL again, he was drunk (his friend is in town for the weekend), his friend referred to me as "your girl" (when talking to SL) and SL said "I love you" again in front of his friends, today watched OSU vs. IOWA and it was a good game and the nachos at Zuey's looked awesome but I hate eating in front of people.

40 days.

20 September 2005

Lazy Alcoholic Homosexual

Oh, I forgot to mention that Fuzz and I made up on Sunday. I sang "Runaway" and he cried.

So yesterday was my husband's 24th birthday. I called and left him a message (a nice one!) and said "Hi, it's your wife, I was just calling to wish you a happy 24th birthday and inquire as to when I would be getting my divorce." Of course, I got no answer back. So, I wrote his step-father this email, and copied it to my parents and my mother-in-law and my husband:

"Hi Kevin,
I apologize first off for emailing you at your company address, however, I have no other address for you.
Today is my husband's 24th birthday - yes, that's right, I said husband. In about seven months, we will have been married for four years (in case you forgot, the anniversary is May 3rd.) I have done everything I can to end this marriage legally - I have given Matt over $200 to file, I have had forms ready for him to fill out and sign, and I have given him the opportunity to do it his way. Frankly, I'm tired of waiting. I need to move on with my life without him weighing me down. I don't know why he refuses to divorce me - if he thinks that he is going to get alimony, not happening - we weren't married long enough. If he thinks he's going to get any sort of money from me, also not happening - he already forfeited his rights (i.e., signed away on a legal document) to my 401(k) and I don't own anything else (not even my car.) There is absolutely no reason why he should be hanging on to this marriage! I'm not sure if he uses it as a sympathy thing to try and get chicks or what, but it's really furthering the ruination of my life. I have to claim a different status on my taxes, which makes filing a pain, I have to mark "Married" on every application I fill out, every person I meet and try to date quickly goes away because they know I'm still bogged down by this situation, etc. etc. etc. I can't stand this anymore. I have tried to contact Matt via phone and he either doesn't answer or does answer and then hangs up on me mid sentence. This morning I left him a very nice message (honestly - I have a witness) wishing him "Happy 24th Birthday" and inquiring as to when I would be receiving my divorce.
I heard a rumour that you wanted me to sign the Hyundai over to Niccole when you're done paying it off. I also heard that I would get a divorce in return. Well, maybe the three of you should think about that and convince your son to finally leave me alone if you really want me to help you out. If I don't get a divorce, there is absolutely no chance of me signing anything over to anyone. Wouldn't you hate for all that money you put into the car to just go down the drain because your son is an irresponsible "adult"? Every time I talk to Matt he says he cannot afford a divorce because of "money", yet I have (as I stated earlier) given him enough money to cover more than three quarters of the cost of the fees. I'm sure he spent that on alcohol though, as usual (I, on the other hand, have stopped drinking.) I'm tired of being nice, I'm tired of sitting around and waiting for him to take action. He claims that I threaten him, that I'm insane, that I causes trouble in his life. Even though these are blatant lies, if he feels they are true, that should be all the more reason to divorce me and get me out of his life.
Thank you for taking the time to read this, and as you can see, I have copied it to my parents, Paula, and Matt. Everyone will be in "the loop" so no one can point their fingers at me and claim that I am being a threat or whatever you people have claimed in the past, and you cannot change what I have written and try to send it to my parents trying to tell them that I said this, that or the other thing.Have a wonderful evening.

Last night I got a phone call from my mom telling me I need to stop threatening them with the Hyundai thing. I wasn't threatening. I was simply telling them that if they didn't hold up their part of the bargain, neither would I. I got this response from my mother-in-law this morning:

"Hi Kelly,
Paula here. Now, your threat about keeping the Hyundai after WE paid for it is NOT going to happen. The agreement is between your parents and us and if we have to get our attorney involved, we will. Matt has a successful computer job with a big company and also in the last two weeks worked an additional 80 hours at a pizza place. He has gotten his life straightened around, but I can do just so much as he is an adult, like you and leads his own life. I thought this whole divorce thing was finished, since Kevin bought the legal papers, made copies and gave one each to you and Matt. I understand your frustration and will bring this up to him the next time I see him, which because of his busy schedule, isn’t often. You and I have always gotten along, so let’s not ruin it by trying to hold the title of the car that will be legally ours in a few months over our heads, okay?
Matt doesn’t want or need your money, so I don’t know what the holdup is. As I said, I will try and talk to him about it, so you both can get on with your lives. I wish you the best, am glad that you have stopped drinking and hope that you have stopped taking drugs also…they lead to trouble. Take care and please stop trying to hold the title of the Hyundai over our heads . . . we have lived up to our responsibility as to making the payments and there are laws against someone else trying to take things that they have not paid for. Good luck Kelly.

Too bad my name is on the title and they never signed a contract with me. They did, a long time ago, but it's null and void now that they signed the contract with my parents... I replied to this:

I wasn't threatening anything with the car. I'm sorry it came across that way, but I was under the impression that you had proposed that if I signed over the title then you would have Matt finally give me a divorce. Apparently this is just another figment of my imagination, much like the divorce papers that Kevin supposedly dropped off. I haven't seen Kevin since February when he came to my office so I could sign the power of attorney for the license plates. If Kevin did not give those papers directly to me, then I would like to know who he gave them to so I can get ahold of that person and see why they never gave them to me. The only reason why I wrote Kevin the email yesterday is because I am moving on with my life, and I have been trying to get ahold of Matt for several weeks. He doesn't answer his phone, and if he does answer he hangs up on me, he doesn't respond to emails, nothing. He may be 24 years old but he is not acting like an adult. I've done everything I can and I thought maybe since he used to listen to you sometimes you'd be able to help me, but apparently that isn't the case. I'm not glad to hear that he has turned his life around, I'd much rather he be wallowing in the pitiful state I left him in, but I suppose it's good to hear that he has. I've been the better person in this situation, I've never tried to harm him or anything else (in fact, he was the one who tried to reconcile the whole thing last summer, but I'm sure he never told you that.) At least now that you've told me he is working (shock) then he can afford to pay for the divorce. He can't use the excuse that he's poor and living off Lynn Sr. (like he always has, right up until last week) because he has a computer job and a pizza job. Wonderful. Tell him to pony up the dough and get this over with. I'm not contributing one more cent to this divorce. I paid for enough while we were married. You and Niccole and Bobby and Lynn weren't the only ones who supported his alcoholism while we were married - I worked five different jobs while we were married, and the only time I didn't work was in the beginning. I've been at this job for almost two years now. Amazing, I can keep a job now that I'm not with Matt! I don't have him calling and creating problems, I don't have him showing up and making scenes!
You know, the worst part about this is that he lies to everyone. No one will ever know what actually went on in our house for those two years. I can talk til I'm blue in the face trying to get you and my parents and everyone else to understand what he did to me, but it would get me nowhere.
Just like this letter I suppose."

I don't think I've ever talked about my marriage before. Maybe now is the time. This will be a long post.

I met my husband on matchdoctor.com and one night (April 16th, 2002) we talked on the phone for about seven hours. It was wonderful. We hit it off right away. The next day (April 17th, 2002) he came over and I made dinner. I had just bought my condo and was living with my best friend, Megan. The three of us had dinner and then MMA and I hung out for awhile. I had promised I would take Megan out to Hilliard to see her parents, so the three of us headed out there. We had a wonderful evening, and I thought MMA was going to spend the night, but as we were falling asleep he says, "Oh, shit, I have to take Niccole to work in the morning" and left. I thought that was the end of it, because he hadn't mentioned anyone named Niccole and I assumed that it was a wife or girlfriend. (It turned out she was his sister.) The next day I took SK to see "The Scorpion King" and when I got home there was a note and a rose on the front door that said, "Sorry I ran out last night, had to take my sister to work, call you later." So I called him and he came over. We had dinner, and just chilled in the basement, and drank some beers. He said to me, "I told Niccole today that if I could marry you tomorrow, I would." So we got engaged on April 18th, 2002.

More later.

19 September 2005

Wake Me Up When November Comes

A ladybug just landed on my desk. Must mean good luck.

Thursday was really uneventful in the evening. I refused to go out because of the events of Wednesday night, so instead I stayed home and watched some television, played on the internet, and talked to SL and IG on a three way call. They were being all silly and geeky and stuff, but I didn't mind, they crack me up. Besides, I was playing Text Twist on Yahoo! Games most of the time anyway.

Friday was also fairly uneventful, work was pretty easy, and then I went to see my shrink. OY. He told me that if I didn't stop drinking so much he was going to send me to rehab. That sucks. He said he would be "negligent" if he didn't tell me. That sucks. I'm not too happy about this, but on the other hand, he has a point. I don't have a problem now, but I think I could have a problem soon. I don't want to turn out like all those "winners" who live at Zuey's and Eldo's. I know I spend a lot of time there, but at this point I'm choosing to drink - I don't want it to get to the point where I am needing to drink. That would suck. So Friday night while I was talking to SL I had one beer.

Saturday I planned on going to SK's football game but I woke up with the worst migraine ever so I went back to sleep. Woke up again around noon-thirty and got ready for KL's baby shower. Went to that, it was pretty fun. Jclyn was there with her daughter and a new man... I don't know what to think of him, he seems awesome and nice and a little too perfect... oh well, as long as she's happy. There were a few other dudes there, which I thought was strange for a baby shower, but it was a fun time anyway. The theme was OSU tailgate, and we had tailgate food like meatballs and wings and pasto salads. We played some cute games, one where everyone got a teeny plastic baby in an ice cube and whoever's melted first won (not mine), another one where you had to drink lemonade out of a baby bottle with a nipple and everything (I almost won but my mouth hurt!) and then one where they put baby food in diapers and you had to guess which was which (Jclyn won but I didn't play, yuck.) It was pretty fun. I had three Miller Lites at KL's shower. I left around five so I could go to church, but on the way to church I started feeling headachy again. I went in anyway and sat for awhile, but I kept feeling like I was going to puke so I left just before mass actually started. I went home and chilled and watched "The Incredibles" which is actually a really cute movie. SL called me around ten thirty, and we ended up talking until three a.m. Fun as always.

Sunday I worked on my novel in the afternoon, and then went to karaoke. I am really going to work on this not drinking thing, so I had one Bloody Mary which I didn't even finish, and then I drank O'Doul's for the rest of the night, except for the one Molson Exel (NA Beer) that I had, which tasted like the worst thing I ever could imagine. O'Doul's actually isn't too bad. It pretty much tastes like a Miller Lite that has been sitting out for an hour. Not bad. I did find out, however, that bar life through sober eyes is disgusting. I can't believe that I used to not mind hanging around this crap. It was really gross. I mean, I can't stand drunks anyway, but I suppose when I'm just as drunk as they are, I don't notice. Man, I sure noticed last night! I seriously had a hard time staying. The only reason I stayed for my last song is that it was "Hello It's Me" by Todd Rundgren and it was a Buster Hymen that I wanted to do for a long time. The place was pretty empty so I figured it was a good time to sing it. Before I sang that, Uncle B. and I sang "Can't Keep My Eyes Off of You" and in the middle, SL called me. I had him listen. We talked until it was my turn to sing, then he listened to my "Hello It's Me" as well. Then I left. Yuck. Drunks. We stayed on the phone until about four thirty a.m. I'm worried because he has court today and I want it to turn out well.
Oh well. Til later.

15 September 2005

I fucking hate drama.


Tuesday was pretty cool. Went to The Hot Spot for karaoke, it was fun. Moose, Tomcat, and GG were there. Fucking Chad the crackhead was there too. He tried to talk to me but I was like no way buddy and ignored him. At least he didn't try to kill me. I sang a whole bunch of songs, I even sang "Wait" and rocked out as usual, but it was weird singing it because GG was there and she is the one who always sings that song. I replaced all the "baby" with "gina".

Last night was just fucking wonderful. KP met me at Zuey's around seven fifteen and we chilled with RJ, Loggy, and MG playing the trivia type game from the other night (one person names a subject, you gotta name something twice around if you can't you drink.) It was terrific fun. MG left, then RJ slipped out unnoticed as usual, so KP and I just talked. Grady came in and we were talking to him and he decided to teach us to play darts. So Loggy and I were a team and KP and Grady were a team. He taught her while Loggy taught me and it was fun!
We decided to play a real game, called "01". You start with 501 points and everytime you get points on the board you subtract them from 501. We were losing, then we came back and rocked! Then I almost cost us the whole game because I got 67 points and we were down to nine left. See, you can't go over how many points are left, so if Loggy would have thrown and gotten 10, we would have lost. Nine is really hard to get, but Loggy actually pulled a miracle and got a single "1" and a double "4". It was awesome. KP was pretty roasted so she left shortly after that.

I was talking to this dude, S, and his friend, M. (Haha, S&M!) They were pretty cool, and each of them bought me a shot. I was feeling really good, but not drunk, just a nice buzz. Then Poke and his brother came in. Gasp. They came right back to where I was, to play pool. I was fucking shocked. Poke had little bottles of liquor in his pocket and I took them and drank them. It was pretty gross but damn they sure enhanced my buzz. He said he came to apologize and all that and I said fine, we can be cool, whatever. During this whole time, S was hanging all over me, which I didn't mind because he is fucking HOT. He looks like a young Bruce Willis. Oh yes. He is muscely too. Not too muscely, but muscely. We were just talking and stuff, and after Poke left, S and I went and sat in the rolly chairs. Then it all went down.

Well aFuzz made me cry last night, hardcore, while we were at the bar. And it was over something so dumb and he just flipped out. I think he was coked up and drunk though, so I shouldn't have gotten so upset but he hurt me! We were talking about how he used to be hot when he was my age (he's about 55 now) and I told him I remembered a pic of him sitting on Leif Garrison's car at a concert, and he gets all pissed off: "I was NOT on Leif Garrison's car! That was the last car my father had before he died! I was at a Leif Garrison concert!" And then he goes on telling me how I'm stupid, I have no respect for anyone, I don't know shit about shit, and so forth. I couldn't believe it, all i did was misspeak! I mean it was the stupidest thing! And he went way over the line with all that other shit. I was crying my eyes out, and signed my tab and left the bar. S ran out after me and convinced me to come in and calm down before I drove home. KL had even put my beer on ice. How thoughtful of her.
Then, Dennis, oh he's an asshole. I barely know this kid, and he starts talking shit about me to my face and I'm like what the fuck. Like, I've been going to this bar for almost two years, and he's been going for a month - who the hell is he to tell me what kind of person I am?! Last week you may remember when he was trying to be a funny guy and said something about me having herpes (I don't) and it pissed me off. That night, he apologized, but I know he didn't mean it because he keeps trashing me and taking it over the line It's one thing to say "ha, you suck" - its another to say "ha, you have herpes". You know? The difference between friends making fun of each other and people being mean. I knew he could tell I was upset over Fuzz, so Dennis was awfully nice and said, "You know he has a point, you're totally disrespectful to me all the time." I told him it was because he hadn't earned my respect because I had been nice to him at first and then he was shitty to me, so why should I respect him? I just say hi when he comes in and I try not to talk to him but he always has some smart ass remark to make - so when he makes those remarks, I'm a total bitch to him because he deserves it. He's some guy who wandered in one night and has decided to stay and be a big prick. I try to ignore him and he keeps pestering. I can only listen to someone talk shit about me so long before I have to defend myself. I think I may punch him the next time i see him. You know, it's Zuey's and I wouldn't get barred or anything and they know that it takes a lot to make me violent, and I've never been in a physical fight there. However, I would probably be too embarassed to ever go back again. That would be bad.

I went home and when I got there I called KL to apologize for all the drama. SL called while I was on with her, and while I was talking to him, Poke called. He wanted to come over. I told him to go ahead and come over, but I had no plans of answering the door. Well, back when he and I were dating, I used to leave the back door unlocked so he could just come in when he wanted. Apparently in my upsetedness I hadn't locked the back door, so when Poke arrived he just walked right in like old times. Damnit. I was so drunk that I couldn't lay on my back, but he felt the need to lay next to me anyway. I told him he would be hard pressed to get me to fuck him, since I was so drunk and I hated his guts, and he said "fine" he just wanted to spend time with me (whatever.) I passed out, and woke up and he was fucking me. I swear to god. I was like are you fucking kidding me!? And Poke says he thought I was awake because I was talking to him. Christ. Oh well. Little did he know that I was on the rag yesterday ahahahahaha. Shoulda checked! We fell asleep and he woke up around five to leave. That was weird but oh well. I didn't particularly care. I wanted to talk to SL but I knew I needed to sleep. Once again, my sleep was awful. I tossed and turned and I'm fucking exhausted today. This is the fourth night in a row!


13 September 2005

Strange Dreams

The last two nights I have had the strangest dreams.

Sunday night I dreamt that I was at work, and there was a huge storm. Thunder, lightening, torrential downpours, animals and people being washed away, etc. (I'm thinking there was a Hurricane Katrina influence here, but the storm wasn't a hurricane.) So it's so stormy that even though it's mid-afternoon, the power is out and the sky is black and you can't hardly see anything. People are gathering in the parking garage and trying to stay safe, but I keep telling them they should not be under there because the storm is going to collapse the building.

This little negro child in a boat floats past me, crying. I swim over to him and get in the boat and he's telling me how wonderful it is to see me in this thick southern accent that sounds kind of cajun-ey. It isn't annoying like Ferfer's, and I even thought that in the dream. He was telling me that his whole family drowned and he was out looking for a new one, when suddenly this metal statue that is in the little sitting area outside the doors got hit by lightening. The jolts from the electricity bounded through the waters and the little boy was electrocuted because he had his hand in the water. He was shocked, but not really hurt.

We paddled down to the parking garage to find someone to help us look through the area for drowning/stranded people. This dude volunteered, and in my dream he worked with me but he wasn't anyone from my real-life work. He climbed into the boat with us and we started going out of the parking garage, and as we just got out, the whole thing collapsed and killed everyone inside. The whole building tumbled and slid down the hill right onto 270. The three of us paddled as quickly as we could away from the area. We went across the street (which was now underwater) and saw someone hanging onto a tree branch, about to get swallowed up by water. Dude had a long chain, the kind you tie a dog to, and he threw it at the person to hang onto and come to the boat. They missed, and it got wrapped around a metal light pole. The little boy tried to help the dude get it untangled, and at the very second the chain started whipping back to the boat, it got hit by lightening. When it reached the little boy, it was so hot and moving so fast that it sliced him right in half and each half of the little boy exploded. The dude jumped into the water, trying to pick up pieces of the little boy and tossed them into the boat. It created this terrible brown and red slime in the bottom of the boat that was getting thicker and thicker and the dude was convinced the boy would just fuse back together.

The dude eventually drowned after what seemed like hours of searching in the water for pieces for trying to fuse the little boy together. The moment he drowned, the sun came out and everything cleared up. The cops came, and this chick cop was asking me what happened to the little boy and the dude. I didn't think it was a good idea to tell her the truth, so I told her that a chain had been flung off of the nearest building, and it hit the boy at the same time as lightening did and he melted. She asked about the dude and I told her he drowned trying to save someone, which wasn't exactly a lie. Days later, after the water had receeded, they never found the dude's body and no one remembered him existing.

I had another strange dream last night but I can't exactly recall it - all I know is that I was responsible for something and I couldn't do it and I tossed and turned all night and I'm incredibly fucking tired today.

Eat Salmon - The Other Pink Meat

Saturday I went to Zuey's and it was pretty darn cool. The game was good, we lost, but it was a really good game anyway. Most of the regulars were there, and Ferfer showed up too and Dennis as well. They ended up leaving together, and although I don't really like Ferfer, I thought that was a bad idea since that chick disappeared from Lido's a little while ago and she ended up raped and dead and they haven't found the guy. Dennis doesn't seem like that type of guy, but he's creepy. Ferfer even said she thought he was creepy but she went with him anyway - that made sense. *frown* This dude came in with a HUGE golden lab that looked almost just like a big Wendell. His name was Gabe and the dude we will call K. His girlfriend is blind and her name is P. K and P are very nice and they just moved in across the way.

I ended up talking to this dude, CC. He was pretty cool. We were talking about all kinds of things and I thought it was awesome because normally dudes I talk to are just all about "Can I go home with you tonight" and that is REALLY boring. Well we did end up going home together, and it was fine. He was just hilarious. The next morning we sat around watching terrible television and actually having a conversation. That was cool. I took him back to Zuey's around noon-ish, and as I'm about to pull in he says, "Keep going" and I'm like... whatever. So we go around the block and when we've reached Morse Road he says, "Well you can let me out here." And I say, "Are we close to your house?" (There are some apartments right there.) His reply is, "No, I thought I saw my girlfriend's car at Zuey's."


How lame is that? Why does this always happen to me?! I'm gonna hold out for SL from now on, I don't care if he's out fucking nine bitches a day, I'm really seriously done with fucking random losers. Eff that. Oh well.

Sunday was really boring. I literally laid around and did NOTHING all day long. I think I played on the internet for awhile. I made a bunch of food though, I was just in the mood for cooking. After watching the new Simpsons and Family Guy I went to Eldo's for karaoke, as usual, and it was completely dead. I got to sing about five times, that rocked. I sang "Wait" by White Lion because GG was out of town and I wanted to try it. I rocked. I always rock. I attempted to not drink Miller Lite, but it failed. I had one Bacardi O and one Bacardi Black Cherry (Lo Carb) and the O was very sweet and the Black Cherry tasted like cat litter. I had a Corona to make the transition, but eventually ended up back at Miller Lite. I tried, I tried, but I just love my Miller Lite.

So there has been this rumour going around Eldo's that I have sucked 47 cocks in the parking lot. I'm not really sure if I mentioned this in an earlier post or not, but it's really starting to piss me off. I've sucked one cock two times in the parking lot. Fuck those people.

Fuzz and his woman broke up on Sunday afternoon. I guess she called him up and told him she found someone else and to get the fuck out. I feel bad for Fuzz because he's hurting, but he brought on a lot of it himself. Plus they are huge coke heads. So I sang "Runaway" for him, and he cried. We talked a little, and he cried. He cried.

Yesterday was awesome. After work I went to SR's to get the second installment of Kelly's Hair Repair Challenge. I've never had real highlights before, and they look pretty frickin' awesome. I love how she does my hair when I go there because it looks so cool, and I'm sad cuz I can never get it to be the same the next morning. I need a big fat curling iron I think. We went to Zuey's afterwards, and I talked to this chick, we'll call her Tine for now, and turns out that we have a lot in common. She's incredibly loud though. Oh well. Maybe she has a hearing problem. But anyway, she is actually really nice and it's funny that we never talked before. So I hung out for a little while because KT kept buying me beers, and then I had to run to Krogers and home to change. When I got back, RJ and BR and Fuzz and TG had all showed up, and well as MG (the t-shirt guy) and his female friend. K and P were there with Gabe also, so I said hi to them. RJ, TG, MG, the girl, Nicholas and I played this kind of trivia game and it was terribly fun. Someone would name a subject and it went around the circle twice you had to name something of that subject. We did sexual positions, models of cars, things that rhyme with "pink" and so on. It was GREAT. I left around midnight and went down to Brewstirs because Cat has a new show there. It's a cute little place, but I don't know if I will go back or not. It's not really my kind of place.

Tonight is karaoke at the Hot Spot. Yay. I have about nine piles of kitten shit to clean up when I get home.

09 September 2005


Medical News:
Australian researchers have concluded that sex, complex crossword puzzles, and long-distance running all help prevent dementia, Alzheimer's disease, and even Parkinson's disease by stimulating new brain cells, reports the Australian Broadcasting Corp. of a new study from the University of Queensland's Brain Institute in Canberra. Specifically, a chemical called prolactin, which is found in abundance in pregnant women, appears to promote the new cell growth in the brain. Prolactin levels also go up during sex as well.

This is awesome. It also explains why I've been craving crossword puzzles now that I've basically stopped slutting around! Awesome!

Last night at Zuey's was absolutely fucking ridiculous. I got there around seven thirty, and it was already packed with darters. They start at seven o'clock I think, but it was SO packed. I had to park in the street! I was meeting KP, so I chilled at the corner of the bar for awhile, but then I got too cramped by darters so I moved over to the rolly chairs. KP showed up around eight thirty-ish, and I had already had a bunch of beers. We talked for awhile, nothing life changing, but it was good conversation. Y came by for a little bit, and KP left around eleven. I was walking to the bathroom and yelled "Bye!" to Y, and Danielle was right behind me and I accidentally yelled in her face. She was like "okay" and then went in the stall next to me and started yakking. That was great. I don't mind seeing people yak so much, it's the sound of it that really gets to me. What was even better was that she is always bragging about how much she can drink and how well she can hold her alcohol... riiiiiiiiight. I don't know if she had been drinking before she got there, but she didn't get to Zuey's until eight... fucking hilarious.

Since I had just heard all this puking noise, I had to leave. I went over to Eldo's and talked to GG and Moose and Tomcat for awhile. Nobody was really there, it was quite boring. These kids showed up, apparently they are referred to as "the big nuts" because they go (went) to Big Walnut high school. Hilarious. I had one beer and walked out without paying, but I will pay on Sunday when I go I guess. Should be interesting. I don't know if they even noticed. I was driving through the little area and passed KT, Fuzz, and KT's friend on the way. I stopped to say "hi" and KT was like "Kelly will take us!" so they piled in and I drove them to the VIP. KT's friend (I don't know if it was Brian or Ryan or Darrell) was grabbing my boob through my collar the whole time on the way there, and he moved when I was pulling into the parking lot and made me drive through the grass. It was retarded. KT begged to see my tits so I showed them before we went in. When we got there, Cunt Bitch Extraordinairre was not working. Yay! It was the chick from Friday night. I got a shot (I think it was called a Crown Hooter) and put it on KT's tab. I left after my shot because even though I'm more comfortable going into the VIP, I still find it incredibly boring. I hugged Fuzz on the way out then stopped at KT and he gave me a kiss, with tongue of course because he always does that when he's drunk for some reason, and then I hugged his friend, and headed back to Zuey's.

When I got there, it was pretty dead, but there were still stragglers playing darts. KL told me I was lucky I left when I did because apparently good ol' Loggy ralphed on the bar in some dude's special dart mug. I couldn't believe my ears! I've seen Loggy totally ripped before and never saw him yak. Oh well. Dennis said something shitty to me about having herpes (though I don't) and I thought that was really crossing the line. I know I rag on people and we all nit pick at each other but we never say things like that. It's all in good fun and Dennis took it over the line - so I took his phone. Then he apologized, and it was okay, but he was still being an asshole, so I was mean to him. Nicholas bought me a beer and I took it home with me. SL had called me at some point during all this, he talked to Nicholas a few times, and then when I was leaving I was like "well I think I'll go back to Eldo's and drink this beer" and SL said, "You can only have one more beer, and no more!" I was like, "Why?" and he said, "Because I love you and I don't want you to get hurt." and so I went straight home instead of going to Eldo's.

Talked to SL when I got home, and he was with his friend R. I talked to R on the phone while SL did push ups... not sure what that was all about, but whatever. R is young sounding, I think he's 19 yrs. or something. Then SL told me I needed to get some sleep and so I did. Woke up this morning in the weirdest position and now my arm hurts and my fingers are cold. Hopefully this goes away soon.

08 September 2005

Reference Guide

Since I last updated, a lot has happened. Here's a new list of folks!

Moose - Guy from karaoke
GG - Girl, best friend
SL - Guy in Florida
IG - Guy in Rhode Island
KP - Girl I know, met her through TM
KL - Formerly KP (not the one above), bartender at Zuey's
J&J - J1 and J2, met them through GMc
GMc - Guy I know, Canadian
RJ - Guy from Zuey's, used to work @ Dockside with TM
SR - Girl from Zuey's, the haircut lady
BR - SR's ex, almost, he has epilepsy
TG - GG's dad, the grumpy vet
SS - BtbdI's daughter from karoake
Jms - SS's husband
BtbdI - "tbdI" stands for "the big dicked Indian", met him 3 yrs ago, from karaoke
Tomcat - Guy from karaoke, met him 3 yrs ago
E - Tomcat's female friend/girlfriend/roommate
Y - TM's soon-to-be-ex-wife
JC - Y's boyfriend
NMc - Guy who plays the guitar
JR - Guy, aka Hippie

Fuck Buddies (italics indicates former fuck buddy)
NB - Guy from Zuey's
SB - Guy from Zuey's
SE - Guy from Zuey's
Poke - Guy from Eldo's
Eminem - Guy from Zuey's, aka J*R
TS - Guy from Zuey's

TM - Guy, former best friend
MF - Guy, former roommate
SL - KL's husband
MW - Guy from Zuey's who is always drunk
B. Mac - Guy from Zuey's, known by the phrase "Beeeeeeeer"
M**cus - Guy from Zuey's
KT - Guy bartender from Zuey's, formerly known as K

DE- Gen. Mgr. guy
DD - Ops. Mgr. guy
KG - Processor chick
WR - guy
TD - chick
JI- guy
JW - guy
TB - guy
DShu - guy
DJ - guy
RB - guy aka Brunner
BE - guy
ND - guy

That's all I can think of right now. If you have any questions, feel free to comment. Like if you see some initials up there and you can't figure out where they are from, let me know what they are and where they are mentioned, and I will let you know!

An Ode to Taco Bell

I love taco bell. This post is going to be non-sensical, just so you know.

The best things in life are not free, they are chewy, crunchy, cheesey, and drippy. I love going to Taco Bell after a long night of drinking at Zuey's and ordering nine items for $3.03 and absolutely chowing the fuck down in my bed when I get home while reading a lame romance novel. The Beast does not taste nearly as good when alone as it does when you're using it to wash down the faux-mexican salty mess of crap that is a Taco Supreme with extra sour cream or a single nacho chip practically collapsing from the weight of the nacho cheese sauce. Then, after the food is gone, I pass out and wake up wondering why I feel funny inside.

Taco Bell is also great for worktime lunch. The office rounds up cash and sends out two people to the Taco Bell and when they return, it's awesome. We spread everything out on the conference room table, and amidst 100's of packets of sauce and piles of napkins, you claim your steak burrito or your nachos bell-grande. It's almost like a free for all! Then, seven minutes and forty-three seconds later, it's over. It's a tragedy, it ends as quickly as it began. We retreat back to our offices and cubicles, and continue through the day.

In short, I love Taco Bell.

Last night I went to Zuey's and hung out with RJ, SR, and Loggy. We played four games of pool, and Loggy and I won three. We would have won the fourth, but somehow I scratched the eight ball which was on the complete opposite side of the table from where my cue ball ended up. Odd. I'm pretty shitty at playing pool, but Loggy was putting the chalk behind the ball to show me where to aim. It helped. I made a really awesome shot where I hit the green solid ball all the way down to the opposite rail and it bounced back and went in the corner pocket. Yay! I ruled. Loggy is really awesome too. I never realised he was until last night, mostly because we have never really talked. We say hi and stuff, but never actually had a conversation. He's actually quite good looking too, I've never noticed! The funniest thing that happened last night was when I was taking my last shot before the eight ball, and RJ was standing right next to the area where I was aiming. I hit the ball straight on, and it jumped the rail and hit RJ right in his jewels. Oh man, I felt so bad. It was absolutely hilarious though because he didn't even flinch or anything, he just kinda looked at me funny. I was like "oh god! I'm so sorry!" and I couldn't help laughing. It was terrible and hilarious.

Tonight going out with KP again, we had to reschedule from yesterday because she was sick. :(

05 September 2005

I love Barbie (tm)

Which dysfunctional Barbie are you?

Sorority Slut Barbie

You're the Tri Sigma whore that every frat loser knows by name. You love your hot pink tube top and your blonde streaks glow in the blacklight at all the frat parties. Chances are you've been on Girls Gone Wild at least once...

Personality Test Results

Click Here to Take This Quiz
Brought to you by YouThink.com quizzes and personality tests.

This is kinda interesting...

I've seen this on a few blogs recently, so I thought I'd go ahead and do it. I'm being lazy today.

The following is a list of the top 100 songs from the year I graduated (2000.) The ones in red are the ones I hated and the ones in blue are the ones I loved. Interesting.

1. Breathe, Faith Hill
2. Smooth, Santana Featuring Rob Thomas
3. Say My Name, Destiny's Child
4. I Wanna Know, Joe
5. Everything You Want, Vertical Horizon
6. Maria Maria, Santana Featuring The Product G&B
7. Bent, Matchbox Twenty
8. Amazed, Lonestar
9. I Knew I Loved You, Savage Garden
10. He Wasn't Man Enough, Toni Braxton
11. Higher, Creed
12. .Try Again, Aaliyah
13. There You Go, Pink
14. Thong Song, Sisqo
15. Kryptonite, 3 Doors Down
16. Jumpin Jumpin', Destiny's Child
17. What A Girl Wants, Christina Aguilera
18. Doesn't Really Matter, Janet
19. Music, Madonna
20. Back At One, Brian McKnight
21. Bye Bye Bye, 'N Sync
22. You Sang To Me, Marc Anthony
23. I Need To Know, Marc Anthony
24. Get It On Tonite, Montell Jordan
25. Incomplete, Sisqo
26. I Try, Macy Gray
27. It's Gonna Be Me, 'N Sync
28. That's The Way It Is, Celine Dion
29. (Hot S**T) Country Grammar, Nelly
30. Bring It All To Me, Blaque
31. Show Me The Meaning Of Being Lonely, Backstreet Boys
32. Hot Boyz, Missy Elliott Featuring Nas, EVE & Q-Tip
33. Back Here, BBMak
34. It Feels So Good, Sonique
35. Absolutely (Story Of A Girl), Nine Days
36. With Arms Wide Open, Creed
37. Be With You, Enrique Iglesias
38. Come On Over Baby (All I Want Is You), Christina Aguilera
39. No More, Ruff Endz
40. All The Small Things, Blink 182
41. The Way You Love Me, Faith Hill
42. I Turn To You, Christina Aguilera
43. Never Let You Go, Third Eye Blind
44. I Need You, LeAnn Rimes
45. Thank God I Found You, Mariah Carey Featuring Joe & 98 Degrees
46. Let's Get Married, Jagged Edge
47. My Love Is Your Love, Whitney Houston
48. Then The Morning Comes, Smash Mouth
49. Blue (Da Ba Dee), Eiffel 65
50. Desert Rose, Sting Featuring Cheb Mami
51. The Real Slim Shady, Eminem
52. Most Girls, Pink
53. Wifey, Next
54. Wonderful, Everclear
55. Oops!... I Did It Again, Britney Spears
56. I Wanna Love You Forever, Jessica Simpson
57. Give Me Just One Night (Una Noche ), 98 Degrees
58. Take A Picture, Filter
59. Otherside, Red Hot Chili Peppers
60. Big Pimpin', Jay-Z Featuring UGK
61. Purest Of Pain (A Puro Dolor), Son By Four
62. He Can't Love U, Jagged Edge
63. Separated, Avant
64. I Wish, Carl Thomas
65. U Know What's Up, Donell Jones
66. Faded, SoulDecision Featuring Thrust
67. Only God Knows Why, Kid Rock
68. Shake Ya Ass, Mystikal
69. Bag Lady, Erykah Badu
70. Meet Virginia, Train
71. Party Up (Up In Here), DMX
72. Case Of The Ex (Whatcha Gonna Do), Mya
73. Forget About Dre, Dr. Dre Featuring Eminem
74. That's The Way, Jo Dee Messina
75. Swear It Again, Westlife
76. The Next Episode, Dr. Dre Featuring Snoop Dogg
77. From The Bottom Of My Broken Heart, Britney Spears
78. Crash And Burn, Savage Garden
79. Yes!, Chad Brock
80. The Best Day, George Strait
81. How Do You Like Me Now?!, Toby Keith
82. Where I Wanna Be, Donell Jones
83. My Best Friend, Tim McGraw
84. Broadway, Goo Goo Dolls
85. Dance With Me, Debelah Morgan
86. Don't Think I'm Not, Kandi
87. I Hope You Dance, Lee Ann Womack & Sons Of The Desert
88. Better Off Alone, Alice Deejay
89. What'chu Like, Da Brat Featuring Tyrese
90. Cowboy Take Me Away, Dixie Chicks
91. I Like It, Sammie
92. 24/7, Kevon Edmonds
93. Girl On TV, LFO
94. Bounce With Me, Lil Bow Wow Featuring Xscape
95. What About Now, Lonestar
96. I Don't Wanna, Aaliyah
97. Independent Women Part I, Destiny's Child
98. Shackles (Praise You), Mary Mary
99. Waiting For Tonight, Jennifer Lopez
100. Gotta Tell You, Samantha Mumba

I find it interesting that there are so many latin and rap songs... I certainly don't remember there being that many latin/rap songs that were popular, but oh wel.. I spent a lot of time listening to showtunes and my random cd's in 2000.

You can do this too! This link might take you to the year 2000 so just click on "resources" if that's the case.

04 September 2005

Jelly Jewel Big Cock and Balls

I bought a new dildo today! Yay! It's the first time in five years I've boughten one - the first one I had I threw out because it started out clear, but as rubber does over time, became cloudy and weird looking. Still worked fine, was absolutely clean, but I just didn't like the look of it. Oh well. The new one is purple so we shouldn't have that problem again.

Friday night I went to J&J's house and hung out there with them and GMc. They were all trashed. We played pool then went to Eldo's, then to (da-na-na) the VIP. They were all trashed. GMc was buying beers and stuff but I just couldn't get a buzz going. I did talk to the owner of the VIP though, and told him about Cunt Bitch Extraordinairre and he said that "it would be taken care of" in a few weeks. I was like "Yessss!" It was a fun evening, but near the middle of the end I got pretty bored because I just wasn't feeling it. I don't know how people can go out to bars and not drink - it blows my mind. I went back to Zuey's (I had been there before going to J&J's to see KL) because Y called me to come see her. I talked to them for a bit, got bored, finished my beer and hightailed it outta there. All in all I would say that Friday was on the funner side of mundane.

Saturday I woke up to find that the mexicans were putting in my new dishwasher. Sheeba was chillin' on the couch, and the kittens were nowhere to be found. I searched all over for them, I even asked the dudes, "?Donde estas los gatos pequenos?" and they replied "No se." Which means, "Where are the little cats?" and they replied "I don't know." Pissed me off. I am semi-relieved because of all the trauma, but oh well. They lived outside at their old house and they have their claws so I think they will be okay. I put food and water and the little house outside for them.
I went to Zuey's to watch the last quarter of the OSU vs. Miami (OH) game. We won, it was 34-0 when I got there but ended up being 34-17 at the end, I think. That was fun. BR cooked burgers and hot dogs on the grill, a bunch of folks were there, and there was shrimp. I love shrimp. I went home and took a nap around five, and went back to Zuey's at eight fifteenish. Danielle was there, and she was TRASHED. I couldn't believe my ears when she said hi to me. I almost fell over. Her sister and some guy were there too, and they were all drunk and being so loud, so I mostly stayed outside with BR and shot the shit for awhile. Went home around eleven, and looked outside for the kittens. I saw them, but as I was going to get them a car drove by and terrified them so they ran away. I was mad. Ended up talking to SL for awhile, til about three thirty, then slept.

Woke up and looked for the kittens, again, gone. The neighbour lady found one and brought him over, but as I was setting him down to pick up the other one, the first one ran out and the second one followed. I don't think the kittens want to be caught. I laid around for awhile, putzed on the internet, and then bought my new toy. Yay!

Tonight is karaoke, I haven't been to Eldo's (save for Friday) in a week, and it should be interesting. Maybe GG, Moose, and I will go to Hounddogs or something.

02 September 2005

The End of the World as We know it

I'm definitely convinced that we are currently experiencing the end of the world. In my first eighteen years of life, hardly nothing happened. Yes, there were natural disasters, like the Tsunami that hit Japan in the late 80's (I think), the earthquake in California back in the early 90's, etc, but nothing that happened all in a row like this. Since 2000 there have been at least eight hurricanes, the tsunami, global warming, fucking biblical type deaths in third world countries. It's coming to an end folks, yep.


On a different note, my kittens have worms and it is quite possibly the most disgusting thing I have ever encountered in my life. I woke up this morning so thrilled that they didn't shit on the floor overnight, only to see a pile of what I thought was cat yak. No biggie, Sheeba pukes all the time. Well, I get up on it with a paper towel and the Awesome Orange, and there, in the "yak" (which turned out to bloody cat shit) were worms, alive, crawling and squirming around. I puked, literally. My poor kittens. No wonder they can't make it to the box. Now I have to take them to vet and spend a whole shit load of money to fix them. I don't even have half as much money in my account as it will take to cover the exam and fecal sample/test alone. Not to mention the cost of worm medication for all three of them, if need be. This is absolutely fucking disgusting. I know I can't get the worms, but if all three of them have it I'm fucked. Sheeba is too old to deal with that and the kittens are too young and fragile. If I don't get them cured, they will literally starve to death - eating and shitting and never getting any nutrition. They eat like pigs, too! Poor kittens. I just have terrible luck with kittens, it's ridiculous. I had Butters when I was married, and she was the devil in-feline. Then there was Big Eel/Greyson, who was constantly trying to be a big boy and ended up being crushed by Chico so often that I finally had to give him away. After that was Spencer, who had feline lukemia or parvo for cats or something and just randomly collapsed and died one night. I can't take this emotionally. I'm a failure. How will I ever raise a child?!


So last night while I was on the phone with SL I went downstairs to get my cigarettes and heard a strange noise coming from the half bathroom. I investigated, and much to my dismay, the ceiling in the furnace room had collapsed. Wonderful. This is the third place I've lived in where the ceiling collapsed. First time was in my condo when the bathroom ceiling between the 1st and 2nd floors collapsed, followed a few weeks later by the bathroom ceiling between the basement and the 1st floors collapsing. That was wonderful. Then when I lived in the duplex downtown, the kitchen ceiling underneath the bathroom collapsed. Twice. I give up. I thought briefly about living in a cave, however, if the ceiling of a cave collapsed, I'd be killed or trapped inside... today, that doesn't sound so bad.

I got another email from Yahoo! today:

Thank you for writing to Yahoo! Account Services.
Please note that automated scripts cannot change the Date of Birth on
Yahoo! accounts. The Date of Birth is the most important item on a
Yahoo! account, therefore it cannot be viewed, let alone changed.
I have confirmed the Date of Birth on file for your account and can
guarantee that the date of Birth on file during registration is the Date
of Birth on file today.
Thank you again for contacting Yahoo! Customer Care.
Yahoo! Customer Care
For assistance with all Yahoo! services, please visit:
New and Improved Yahoo! Mail - better than ever!

This shit is just ludicrous. I cannot believe them. Here is my answer:

How would you know if they are the same if they supposedly cannot be changed? If you don't have the ability to change the date of birth, then what would be in your system to prove that it had never been changed? I've encountered several more people who have had this problem recently, and I really think you should have your security people look into this worm problem. I'm not afraid to go to the press and let them know that there is worm out there destroying people's accounts and you aren't doing anything about it, or even looking into the possibility of it.

Fucking Yahoo. This shit is really fucking retarded, and I will go to the press and tell them about this. Yahoo! has no idea who they have fucked with. I will single-handedly take down this motherfucking company.


Wednesday I went to the Hot Spot with NB and KP. It was pretty cool, saw NMc and sang with him. Yes, NB and I did do the nasty before we went, but I felt bad during and after, you know, with loving SL and all. But SL said it was okay, and I shouldn't feel bad, but I still did. I got over it a bit, but whatever. I can't believe that I actually effed NB and didn't enjoy myself completely. Everyone I talk to is like "Well I'm sure SL is down in Florida effing chicks" and I'm like, "I don't know and I don't want to know, but I hope he would be honest with me." I know we aren't dating or anything yet, but when/if we do, I would hope and pray that he would not cheat on me, and be completely honest then too. Especially then. He said he can't lie to girls, but you never know. In my opinion, failing to disclose information is the exact same thing as lying. I am probably getting ahead of myself here but I'm pretty much tired of people downing this relationship, even though its still a friendship. Fuck downers. Anyway, after the Hot Spot I headed over to Zuey's and it was all right. I don't like this chick, Ferfer (that's my nickname for her), she's the one with the fake southern accent that just makes me want to punch her in the mouth. Dennis was there also, as was Nicholas and a few others. Nicholas paid for all my drinks and then he even bought me, Ferfer, and KL roses from the rose guy. That was nuts. I didn't complain though! All in all it was an uneventful evening.

Last night I went to Zuey's as well, and hung out a bit with Jclyn and her daughter's father, Stv. Stv was acting like a hard ass and thinking he was the fucking shit and pretending he was italian. Cracked me up. He bought me a couple beers and shot though, so that was fine. Then he got in a fight with Fuzz at some point, then BR, then D the hairstylist, then Fuzz again... geeze. It was ridiculous. Other things that happened during the evening: D the Hairstylist told me my hair is un-fixable and it looks trashy. GMc came in and we had a great time. Jclyn kissed me twice on the lips, then wanted to know if she could french kiss me, so we did. She was pretty good, and kept complimenting me on my great kissing abilities. Then GMc french kissed me in the parking lot when were leaving. It was a very kissy evening. I only spent $3.75.

Tonight, going to J&J's for a little R&R. Fun times.

01 September 2005


Name: Kelly
Birthday: February 1
Birthplace: Akron, OH
Current Location: Columbus, OH
Eye Color: Brown
Hair Color: Bleach blonde/golden/red/black (oh yes, I'll post pics later)
Height: 5'6''
Right Handed or Left Handed: Right handed
Your Heritage: Well I'm 75% German/25% Polish but my mom is 75% German/25% Irish and my dad is 100% Bohemian...
The Shoes You Wore Today: Sandals (dressy)
Your Weakness: The Sauce
Your Fears: Spiders, money
Your Perfect Pizza: None, I effing hate pizza
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: Get some cash in my account and keep it there
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: "Oh bah"
Thoughts First Waking Up: Another day, damn!
Your Best Physical Feature: Lips and Tits and Lips
Your Bedtime: Whenever I start to fall asleep talking to SL
Your Most Missed Memory: Hmmm...?
Pepsi or Coke: I prefer energy drinks, like Moster Lo-Carb
MacDonalds or Burger King: Taco Bell (I hate burgers)
Single or Group Dates: Single
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Nestea
Chocolate or Vanilla: Chocolate
Cappuccino or Coffee: Both
Do you Smoke: Yep
Do you Swear: I have to.
Do you Sing: Like a Siren.
Do you Shower Daily: If I didn't I think I'd stink.
Have you Been in Love: Yep
Do you want to go to College: Never have, never will.
Do you want to get Married: Did that already...
Do you belive in yourself: Do you believe in me?
Do you get Motion Sickness: On everything BUT an airplane.
Do you think you are Attractive: I'm a hotty.
Are you a Health Freak: Har har, far from it
Do you get along with your Parents: Most of the time
Do you like Thunderstorms: Oh yes
Do you play an Instrument: Piano and skin flute
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: I will not justify this with an answer.
In the past month have you Smoked: No way! Alright, yes.
In the past month have you been on Drugs: I rolled...
In the past month have you gone on a Date: Kinda
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: Fuck Corporate America!
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: I don't think I've eaten Oreos for a year.
In the past month have you eaten Sushi: Yep
In the past month have you been on Stage: Yep
In the past month have you been Dumped: No,but I've been cheated on twice
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: Noper
In the past month have you Stolen Anything: Only a few hearts...
Ever been Drunk: Today? Not yet.
Ever been called a Tease: Never! I always follow through!
Ever been Beaten up: Yes ma'm
Ever Shoplifted: Not on purpose... some panties got stuck to my bag once. Long story.
How do you want to Die: At Zuey's. Preferably not in the parking lot.
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: I am grown up and I am Sr. Loan Processor!
What country would you most like to Visit: Italy
Best Clothing Style: Mine. Black.
Number of Drugs I have taken: a lot
Number of CDs I own: Around 100-200
Number of Piercings: 6
Number of Tattoos: One
Number of things in my Past I Regret: Getting Married