11 March 2008
11 March 1982
Right after I posted the last entry, I noticed the date. Today is the day, 26 years ago, that I was adopted! Yay!
Weird Dreams, No Sleep
Last night was one of the worst nights I've had for sleeping. I dunno wtf was going on, but I just could NOT sleep. I almost cried. When I finally did fall asleep, I had a terrible nightmare!
I was at what was presumably my house, but it seemed like I still lived with my parents and little brother. My best friend from Cleveland, SLV, came to visit. She was driving this crazy ass car, looked like a Scion sedan type thing, it was neon blue and really janky. We decided to go over to this kid's house, his name was Tyler or Taylor, and he was nobody from real life. So we're there, and he's drunk, and she gets drunk, and I'm not drunk. Then this girl from school, Sarah, who isn't even a friend of mine and she's not in my schedule, shows up. I guess she's Tyler/Taylor's girlfriend. I'm just sitting there, annoyed because I want to hang out with my friend whom I haven't seen in months, and Sarah comes and sits next to me. She's bothering me, like "wtf is your problem?" and shit like that, trying to get me to drink, but I really don't want to. So she starts punching me. I can't get her to stop, no matter what I do. Tyler/Taylor's dad comes into the room where we are, and he's like, I dunno, kinda egging her on to keep hitting me til I take a drink. I finally get up and run out the door, and I yell for SLV to come on and get the fuck outta there. I'm in the car, and she stumbles out, all irritated that I want to leave. I try to tell her that I just wanted to spend time with her, but she's all pissed off that I made her leave the "party" even though it was just her and Tyler/Taylor sitting on the couch drinking. So I'm like "well we'll go somewhere fun, I promise, I just have to stop home and get some more money" and we head back to my house. Well I pull up and there are like 30 cars in the yard and driveway. The house is a piece of shit house too, like something you'd find run down on the Hilltop. I leave her in the car, go in, and find the place packed with all these teenagers I don't recognize. I see my brother in the middle of the crowd with a bottle of something to his face, which pisses me off. I make my way upstairs to where I assume my parents are, and I find them in their room. My mom is awake,m watching Bonanza and my dad is "sleeping". I start complaining about the damn kids and the drinking and shouldn't my parents have learned that they can get in trouble from letting it happen in their house, and my mom says "well tell your father, he's the one who bought it all and got drunk with them to start off with! after one game of quarters though he couldn't handle it and passed out, he's been throwing up in between consciousness." I'm aghast. My father doesn't drink in real life! So I run into the bathroom to try and find my hidden stash of money, and some drunk girl is hidden in the closet puking and tries to get out and almost pukes on me. I punch her in the face. As I'm trying to leave, I keep getting confronted by drunks trying to throw up on me, including my dad, and it's terrifying. I finally get out, and run to the car, and SLV has disappeared. I drive around a little bit, and finally see her no her way back to Tyler/Taylor's house. Then I wake up.
Well, you might think that was the end. OOOOH NO. I fell back asleep and had another terrible dream!
I went to Otani's for karaoke with some boy who looked like a cross between VES, Poke, and this kid I dated briefly in high school named Bryan. Otani's was normal in the dream, until I told them we were there for karaoke and they led us down some strange secret hallway into this teeny little room. It was packed, but I saw The Sir sitting in the back, so I was ok with it. I made my way back there, stopping along the way to help this girl get started singing her song cuz she couldn't remember how it went. We finally get to two empty chairs, and I hear my mom yell out my name. She's there with my dad, my brother, my uncles (one of whom died in 2005), my aunt, and my grandmas (one died in 2001, the other died last year.) They're all sitting at a table enjoying sushi and other Japanese type food, which is a shock because none of them would ever even try that shit in real life. Anyway, we stay for a little bit, I talk to The Sir, we complain about how tiny the room is, and then me and mystery man leave. We go to this amusement park that is randomly set up on Cleveland Avenue. This boy I went to K-8 with, Jason J., runs it. He's not the owner, but he runs the whole thing. All the people who are there are people from my past - kids I went to school with, Preschool-Senior year, people I used to work with whose names I can't even remember, everyone. It seems like every single person I've ever said one word to is there. I meet up with my 8th grade class and we're going down these crazy water slides. For some reason though, you don't get wet. It's like you're sliding on top of the water, Jesus style. Crazy. We decide to go into this building nearby to chill out for awhile, and inside the building is just like a house with and upstairs and bedrooms and a kitchen and stuff. I want to take a nap, so I head to a bedroom. There is this ugly kid in there, and he's sick. I don't know him in real life, but he looks like someone I recently saw a picture of. I ask him if there is another place I could lay down, and he says no but I can stay here because he's leaving. I'm kinda icky about laying on the sheets he was laying on because this kid was just in the bathroom puking his guts out (I don't know what the deal with puking in these dreams is!) He goes into the bathroom and pukes some more, and as I'm debating on leaving all together, there is silence. I open the bathroom door and this kid looks dead laying on the floor covered in yak. I close the door and walk out, hoping he isn't really dead and just fainted or something. I meet up with mystery guy, and he says there is another place we could go to sleep. We go into this other bedroom, and it's really nice. We've just laid down when this girl I used to know, Cheryl, comes in. She tells me that MW needs my help. I'm like "wtf?! where is she?" and Cheryl says she's at at home, but hands me a bundle. Wrapped up inside is what looks like a fetus, but the towel isn't bloody or anything. She tells me that I need to take care of it, and not take care of it as in raise it but take care of it as in get rid of it. So I somehow come up with a plan to melt the baby. We just learned in class that meat is 75% water, 5% fat, and 20% protein, so in my mind this should work. Then there would be no evidence. I've acquired some sort of huge roasting pan, and the dream goes black and when it comes back the pan is filled with melted lard looking stuff with some chunks in it. Cheryl comes in and asks if I'm done, and I tell her to please get me a garbage can to dispose of this in. She does, I do, and that's that. Mystery man and I go for a walk. As we're walking, we stop under some trees to have sex. It's weird sex, and it didn't even seem like sex at all. We weren't naked either. We continue walking after that, and run into JAFH. He gives me $5 in quarters. I start crying, telling him I'm so sorry and I love him but I just can't commit to him. He walks away, we walk away. As we're turning the corner, I drop all my quarters on the ground. Mystery man kicks them away as I scramble to pick them up. Then I wake up.
I started nodding off on the couch around 10:30pm last night, and decided to get into bed. I fell asleep almost immediately, but then I woke up at 12:57am and couldn't fall back asleep until almost five. It was awful. I had the first dream, woke up at 6:17am, fell back asleep, woke up at 7:03am, fell back asleep, woke up at about 10:26am. Shit. Poke was sending me text messages about how much he loves me and misses me. I think those are what woke me up both times, and I know for sure it was when I finally got up at 10:26am. He told me last night that he's a bit scared out there, but even though he's 25 years old this is his first time ever being away from everybody, so it's understandable. As we were driving to the bus station, he said "I think I've overstayed my welcome" and I'm like "what?" and he said that he's overstayed his welcome in the way of being happy-go-lucky and basically it's time to be a man now. This made me happy. The text I got this morning though was good, he said that the first day of class was going well. He had a nightmare last night too! Awww. My poor Poke. I kept reassuring him that the 4 weeks will fly by and that this is the best decision he's ever made. I'm sure he'll do fine.
As for me, I have to quit DQ tonight and that's going to be interesting. Wish me luck.
I was at what was presumably my house, but it seemed like I still lived with my parents and little brother. My best friend from Cleveland, SLV, came to visit. She was driving this crazy ass car, looked like a Scion sedan type thing, it was neon blue and really janky. We decided to go over to this kid's house, his name was Tyler or Taylor, and he was nobody from real life. So we're there, and he's drunk, and she gets drunk, and I'm not drunk. Then this girl from school, Sarah, who isn't even a friend of mine and she's not in my schedule, shows up. I guess she's Tyler/Taylor's girlfriend. I'm just sitting there, annoyed because I want to hang out with my friend whom I haven't seen in months, and Sarah comes and sits next to me. She's bothering me, like "wtf is your problem?" and shit like that, trying to get me to drink, but I really don't want to. So she starts punching me. I can't get her to stop, no matter what I do. Tyler/Taylor's dad comes into the room where we are, and he's like, I dunno, kinda egging her on to keep hitting me til I take a drink. I finally get up and run out the door, and I yell for SLV to come on and get the fuck outta there. I'm in the car, and she stumbles out, all irritated that I want to leave. I try to tell her that I just wanted to spend time with her, but she's all pissed off that I made her leave the "party" even though it was just her and Tyler/Taylor sitting on the couch drinking. So I'm like "well we'll go somewhere fun, I promise, I just have to stop home and get some more money" and we head back to my house. Well I pull up and there are like 30 cars in the yard and driveway. The house is a piece of shit house too, like something you'd find run down on the Hilltop. I leave her in the car, go in, and find the place packed with all these teenagers I don't recognize. I see my brother in the middle of the crowd with a bottle of something to his face, which pisses me off. I make my way upstairs to where I assume my parents are, and I find them in their room. My mom is awake,m watching Bonanza and my dad is "sleeping". I start complaining about the damn kids and the drinking and shouldn't my parents have learned that they can get in trouble from letting it happen in their house, and my mom says "well tell your father, he's the one who bought it all and got drunk with them to start off with! after one game of quarters though he couldn't handle it and passed out, he's been throwing up in between consciousness." I'm aghast. My father doesn't drink in real life! So I run into the bathroom to try and find my hidden stash of money, and some drunk girl is hidden in the closet puking and tries to get out and almost pukes on me. I punch her in the face. As I'm trying to leave, I keep getting confronted by drunks trying to throw up on me, including my dad, and it's terrifying. I finally get out, and run to the car, and SLV has disappeared. I drive around a little bit, and finally see her no her way back to Tyler/Taylor's house. Then I wake up.
Well, you might think that was the end. OOOOH NO. I fell back asleep and had another terrible dream!
I went to Otani's for karaoke with some boy who looked like a cross between VES, Poke, and this kid I dated briefly in high school named Bryan. Otani's was normal in the dream, until I told them we were there for karaoke and they led us down some strange secret hallway into this teeny little room. It was packed, but I saw The Sir sitting in the back, so I was ok with it. I made my way back there, stopping along the way to help this girl get started singing her song cuz she couldn't remember how it went. We finally get to two empty chairs, and I hear my mom yell out my name. She's there with my dad, my brother, my uncles (one of whom died in 2005), my aunt, and my grandmas (one died in 2001, the other died last year.) They're all sitting at a table enjoying sushi and other Japanese type food, which is a shock because none of them would ever even try that shit in real life. Anyway, we stay for a little bit, I talk to The Sir, we complain about how tiny the room is, and then me and mystery man leave. We go to this amusement park that is randomly set up on Cleveland Avenue. This boy I went to K-8 with, Jason J., runs it. He's not the owner, but he runs the whole thing. All the people who are there are people from my past - kids I went to school with, Preschool-Senior year, people I used to work with whose names I can't even remember, everyone. It seems like every single person I've ever said one word to is there. I meet up with my 8th grade class and we're going down these crazy water slides. For some reason though, you don't get wet. It's like you're sliding on top of the water, Jesus style. Crazy. We decide to go into this building nearby to chill out for awhile, and inside the building is just like a house with and upstairs and bedrooms and a kitchen and stuff. I want to take a nap, so I head to a bedroom. There is this ugly kid in there, and he's sick. I don't know him in real life, but he looks like someone I recently saw a picture of. I ask him if there is another place I could lay down, and he says no but I can stay here because he's leaving. I'm kinda icky about laying on the sheets he was laying on because this kid was just in the bathroom puking his guts out (I don't know what the deal with puking in these dreams is!) He goes into the bathroom and pukes some more, and as I'm debating on leaving all together, there is silence. I open the bathroom door and this kid looks dead laying on the floor covered in yak. I close the door and walk out, hoping he isn't really dead and just fainted or something. I meet up with mystery guy, and he says there is another place we could go to sleep. We go into this other bedroom, and it's really nice. We've just laid down when this girl I used to know, Cheryl, comes in. She tells me that MW needs my help. I'm like "wtf?! where is she?" and Cheryl says she's at at home, but hands me a bundle. Wrapped up inside is what looks like a fetus, but the towel isn't bloody or anything. She tells me that I need to take care of it, and not take care of it as in raise it but take care of it as in get rid of it. So I somehow come up with a plan to melt the baby. We just learned in class that meat is 75% water, 5% fat, and 20% protein, so in my mind this should work. Then there would be no evidence. I've acquired some sort of huge roasting pan, and the dream goes black and when it comes back the pan is filled with melted lard looking stuff with some chunks in it. Cheryl comes in and asks if I'm done, and I tell her to please get me a garbage can to dispose of this in. She does, I do, and that's that. Mystery man and I go for a walk. As we're walking, we stop under some trees to have sex. It's weird sex, and it didn't even seem like sex at all. We weren't naked either. We continue walking after that, and run into JAFH. He gives me $5 in quarters. I start crying, telling him I'm so sorry and I love him but I just can't commit to him. He walks away, we walk away. As we're turning the corner, I drop all my quarters on the ground. Mystery man kicks them away as I scramble to pick them up. Then I wake up.
I started nodding off on the couch around 10:30pm last night, and decided to get into bed. I fell asleep almost immediately, but then I woke up at 12:57am and couldn't fall back asleep until almost five. It was awful. I had the first dream, woke up at 6:17am, fell back asleep, woke up at 7:03am, fell back asleep, woke up at about 10:26am. Shit. Poke was sending me text messages about how much he loves me and misses me. I think those are what woke me up both times, and I know for sure it was when I finally got up at 10:26am. He told me last night that he's a bit scared out there, but even though he's 25 years old this is his first time ever being away from everybody, so it's understandable. As we were driving to the bus station, he said "I think I've overstayed my welcome" and I'm like "what?" and he said that he's overstayed his welcome in the way of being happy-go-lucky and basically it's time to be a man now. This made me happy. The text I got this morning though was good, he said that the first day of class was going well. He had a nightmare last night too! Awww. My poor Poke. I kept reassuring him that the 4 weeks will fly by and that this is the best decision he's ever made. I'm sure he'll do fine.
As for me, I have to quit DQ tonight and that's going to be interesting. Wish me luck.
10 March 2008
That's a Big 10-4
Well it's about 4:20am, I got home from dropping Poke at the bus station about an hour ago, maybe a little less. Shucks.
09 March 2008
Blizzard '08
YAY! SNOW!
We're still under a level 2 emergency, which means that nobody should be out or on the roads, but it's not illegal. Level 3 means they can ticket you or arrest you for being on the roads. Super AWESOME!
So, things have been going exactly my way. This makes me nervous that something terrible is going to happen to me, because I can't believe that for once my luck has actually changed.
First, I got approved for a supplemental student loan. I should have my money in a week or so! Yay!
Second, I probably have a new job at Steak'n'Shake. Not only are the hours better, but it's closer (I mean way close - not even 1/2 mile from my house, as opposed to DQ which is about 12 miles) and there's no bitchy boss's wife who hates me to deal with. Yay!
Third, Poke leaves tomorrow morning (if the busses are running that is) for Pennsylvania. He's going to trucking school. The one thing I never thought he would do, he's doing it. The one thing that was the determining factor for whether or not I give him a chance, he's doing it. That to me shows that he really does love me and really does care, because now he's got a real plan. He's making steps to improve himself to improve our relationship. This makes me happy. I'm not saying yet that we are definitely 100% getting back together, cuz I want to make sure he really goes through with this first, but it's looking pretty good. Yay!
So that's three things that have gone my way. They say everything comes in threes, so now I'm just so scared that a really awful something will happen. I hate this bad luck shit! I guess one shitty thing already did happen, I told DBH that I'm not interested in a relationship anymore, and he got pretty angry/upset and hasn't talked to me for about a week. He thinks it's all about Poke, I tried to explain to him that it's not, but he won't listen. It has everything to do with him being 500+ miles away, me having to kick up the juice at school and getting a new job where I work more hours, and most of all the fact that he disappeared on me for 4 days, I felt like shit the whole time, and when he finally started talking to me again, it was like nothing ever happened. I didn't even get an explanation from him as to why he stopped talking to me. So fuck that, I can't have all those "conditions" around a relationship. I thought we could still be friends, but since he's stopped talking to me again, I guess that's not going to happen. Live and let live I suppose.
Well, I have to figure out how I'm going to get my car out of the parking spot. The plow came by like 8 times last night and just piled the shit up on my bumper, and my poor little car is literally buried. Oh well, we'll see how it goes...
Here are a couple of videos for your viewing enjoyment:
And now: Pics!
We're still under a level 2 emergency, which means that nobody should be out or on the roads, but it's not illegal. Level 3 means they can ticket you or arrest you for being on the roads. Super AWESOME!
So, things have been going exactly my way. This makes me nervous that something terrible is going to happen to me, because I can't believe that for once my luck has actually changed.
First, I got approved for a supplemental student loan. I should have my money in a week or so! Yay!
Second, I probably have a new job at Steak'n'Shake. Not only are the hours better, but it's closer (I mean way close - not even 1/2 mile from my house, as opposed to DQ which is about 12 miles) and there's no bitchy boss's wife who hates me to deal with. Yay!
Third, Poke leaves tomorrow morning (if the busses are running that is) for Pennsylvania. He's going to trucking school. The one thing I never thought he would do, he's doing it. The one thing that was the determining factor for whether or not I give him a chance, he's doing it. That to me shows that he really does love me and really does care, because now he's got a real plan. He's making steps to improve himself to improve our relationship. This makes me happy. I'm not saying yet that we are definitely 100% getting back together, cuz I want to make sure he really goes through with this first, but it's looking pretty good. Yay!
So that's three things that have gone my way. They say everything comes in threes, so now I'm just so scared that a really awful something will happen. I hate this bad luck shit! I guess one shitty thing already did happen, I told DBH that I'm not interested in a relationship anymore, and he got pretty angry/upset and hasn't talked to me for about a week. He thinks it's all about Poke, I tried to explain to him that it's not, but he won't listen. It has everything to do with him being 500+ miles away, me having to kick up the juice at school and getting a new job where I work more hours, and most of all the fact that he disappeared on me for 4 days, I felt like shit the whole time, and when he finally started talking to me again, it was like nothing ever happened. I didn't even get an explanation from him as to why he stopped talking to me. So fuck that, I can't have all those "conditions" around a relationship. I thought we could still be friends, but since he's stopped talking to me again, I guess that's not going to happen. Live and let live I suppose.
Well, I have to figure out how I'm going to get my car out of the parking spot. The plow came by like 8 times last night and just piled the shit up on my bumper, and my poor little car is literally buried. Oh well, we'll see how it goes...
Here are a couple of videos for your viewing enjoyment:
And now: Pics!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)