Crunchy Butterscotch Pudding pops

Make instant pudding.
Pour into popsicle mold, fill halfway.
Add Heath bits.
Fill rest of the way with pudding, insert stick/handle.
Freeze.
Enjoy!

Wii Fit Plus!

So, for Christmas, my FMIL (future mother in law) gave me a $50 gift card to Best Buy.  I was like "huh, what can I do with this?" because I don't generally buy anything there, and we already have all the electronics we could need.  Then, shortly after my 30th birthday, something (the fat pouch) inspired me to start losing weight - finally - and I began to come up with a plan.  I thought about going back to Weight Watchers, but they've changed their program so much and it's very, very expensive these days.  I checked it out and even though it would have been pretty easy to re-learn the new system, I wasn't interested in paying for it, so I ended up going back to SparkPeople.

SparkPeople is a website that offers nutrition, fitness, and other trackers.  They now have an app for your smartphone, too!  All I have to do is put in the foods I eat, and it will calculate it for me.  Almost every single food you can think of is in their database, or you can enter it manually.  To begin, you put in your weight, height, age, activity level, etc. and it tells you how many calories you can have per day, without exercising, to lose weight.  Then it says you should exercise, and encourages 30 min/day, 3x/week.  My numbers are pretty easy to follow: 1330-1660 calories/day, exercise 7 days/week to burn 299 calories every day, and drink 8+ glasses of water per day.

It's been a bit rough getting my calories in order, because I went from eating less than 1,000 calories a day to eating over 2,000 - thanks to working out and actually feeling hunger!  Silly brain, always going to one extreme or the other!  Anyway, it took about 10 days but I am mostly able to keep my calories close to 1660. I'm hovering around 1800, but I also burn anywhere from 310-490 calories per day.

...and that's where the Best Buy gift card comes in!  I started SparkPeople and didn't plan on exercising at all, just hoped that eating the right amount of calories would work (yeah, cuz it worked so well in the past...?).  Poke and I had left 4L at his Nana's house, and were running some errands when I remembered the gift card and suggested we go look to see what they had.  Originally I thought maybe I'd get a tablet or a TV, but even the smallest, cheapest tablets/TVs were well over $100 (I was willing to pay half).  We wandered around, checked out the GPS area, car stereos, and ended up by the video game systems.  YAY!  I thought maybe I'd get a few Wii games, and then it caught my eye - the Wii Fit Plus.  It was on sale, and with the gift card I ended up getting it for like $15. YAY!  It took a couple days to charge my batteries and get motivated, but I finally hopped on two days later.

At first, I was like "What. The. Fuck." because it was really weird to be standing on this balance board and moving the character on screen in all these strange games.  The little guy talked me through the process, doing a body test and introducing me to all the features.  I've been doing it for 16 calendar days now, 14 actual days (I take Tuesdays off), and I'm getting pretty good at most of the games.  It even includes Yoga and Strength Training, which at first I could not do and actually sobbed after trying.  These days I can do most of the Yoga and some of the Strength Training, and allegedly it will get easier as I go on.

The problem is, even though I've been working out steadily for two weeks, I haven't lost any weight.  I don't think I've lost any inches either because my jeans actually feel tighter!  I don't understand what is going on.  For the first time in my life I'm drinking plenty of water (36-44oz/day or more) and getting regular exercise, as well as burning way, way more calories than I take in.  My BMR is 2329 + 310 burned cals/average and subtract 1800 cals/eaten from that = 819 cals/differential.  They say to cut out 500/day to lose a pound a week... So why am I not losing any weight?!

I'm hoping that it's just a matter of getting things going, and sometime in the next week or so I'll start to see some results.  It'd be nice if I could just see something - even if my jeans just felt better.

Gluttons for Gluten(-free)

I am SO annoyed with this godforsaken Gluten-free trend that is sweeping America right now.  Everything is being changed to be Gluten-free, or labeled as “GLUTEN-FREE!” when it's always been Gluten-free, or there are new Gluten-free alternatives.  The thing is, a very, very small percentage of the population actually need Gluten-free food... but for some reason everybody and their goddam brother are scrambling for it and grabbing it off the shelves like it's cocaine-laced Slim-Fast.

The only people who truly need Gluten-free diets are those with Celiac or Duhring's diseases, and those with a wheat allergy.  There is zero evidence that it "cures" or "treats" Autism, although if you listen to the whack jobs *koff*Jenny McCarthy*koff*, it most certainly does (even though a professional, scientific study showed that it did absolutely nothing).  Unfortunately, like the Atkins, South Beach, Zone, Cabbage, Vinegar, etc etc etc, it has become the new fad diet.

The problem with going Gluten-free is that it can actually be quite dangerous if it's not necessary (and even when it is necessary, if you don't do it properly).  From the Wikipedia page on Gluten-free diets:

Deficiencies linked to maintaining a gluten-free diet. 

Many gluten-free products are not fortified or enriched and contain lower amounts of nutrients such as folate, iron, and fiber than other foods. Additionally, because gluten-free products are not always available, many Gluten-Sensitive Enteropathy (GSE) patients do not consume the recommended number of grain servings per day. A gluten-free diet may not meet the recommended intake for fiber, thiamine, riboflavin, niacin, folate, iron, or calcium. It is important for those who avoid gluten in their diet to find more nutrient-dense food sources to prevent such deficiencies. People who change their standard gluten-free diet to implement gluten-free oats at breakfast, high fiber brown rice bread at lunch, and quinoa as a side at dinner have been found to have significant increases in protein (20.6 g versus 11 g), iron (18.4 mg versus 1.4 mg), calcium (182 mg versus 0 mg), and fiber (12.7 g versus 5 g). The B vitamin group did not have significant increases, but were still found to have improved values of thiamine, riboflavin, niacin, and folate. These dietary changes can greatly reduce a GSE patient's risk for anemia (especially Iron Deficiency Anemia) and low blood calcium levels or poor bone health. 

Gluten-free foods include rice, potatoes, soybeans, maize, millet, buckwheat, amaranth and quinoa. The diet may be low in fiber, iron, folate, calcium, magnesium, zinc, vitamin D, B-complex vitamins (thiamin, riboflavin, niacin, and vitamin B12). Celiacs adhering to a gluten-free diet may be at risk for inadequate calcium, non-starch polysaccharides and Vitamin D. Oats can increase intakes of vitamin B1, magnesium, and zinc in celiac patient in remission.

The other thing is that even if a product is labeled Gluten-free, it might still contain Gluten (more on that later) because many factories use products that contain Gluten to dust their machines or process Gluten-not-free stuff on the same machines as Gluten-free.  Then there's the issue of alcohol.  Of course there is Gluten-free alcohol out there, but if it is made from any kind of grain, it contains Gluten.  So if I see your stupid face with a beer or whisky or whatever, telling me about your Gluten-free Lent, I'm going to kick you.

Also, it is almost impossible to be completely Gluten-free (unless it was supposed to be that way), and that "Gluten-free" really just means a teeny-tiny amount of Gluten (because 0 calories actually means <1 calories, and 0 carbs means <1 carb and so forth).  Did you know that the amount of Gluten at which intolerance presents itself is undetermined?  Yeah, I didn't think you did. Probably because you think Gluten-free is going to help you lose weight or be healthier.  Sorry Charlie, you're just a fucking moron.

I just get so incredibly frustrated!  I'm not going to lie and say I've never tried a fad (diet or otherwise) or prayed/hoped for some miracle cure for my morbid obesity, but sometimes I just cannot comprehend what people are thinking.  Why would you remove something totally innocent from your diet for no reason, especially if removing said thing could actually create a nutritional deficiency?  Ridiculous.  The problem is that people eat too much fake food.  Why did the Atkins diet work for so many people?  Yes, because they cut out carbs, but not because they cut out carbs - Americans eat way too many carbs in the first place!  Atkins doesn't rule anywhere else like it does here because the rest of the world knows how to eat in moderation.  Eat whatever the hell you want - just don't eat ten pounds of it!  Also, eat REAL food - they say five ingredients or less, but I find that to be a bit restrictive.  I have eaten Helper three times in the last three years, and those three times I felt (and did nothing but) shit the next day.  Too many preservatives!  Cheese powder?! YUCK!  Seriously.  When I learned in culinary school that margarine is one molecule away from being plastic, I decided to start making a change in my diet.  I've given up all lite/low fat/etc foods because they aren't real - no canola/vegetable oil either, only olive oil (I do have a bottle of canola that I've been working on for about 2 years now, and I just can't bear to get rid of it and throw away all that money - it's used very sparingly!)  Splenda and Diet pop are the only fake foods that are regularly let into this house.  I'm not trying to be some guru or trendsetter, but come on people - there's a reason why we're all so fat.  You might be saying to yourself, "Who the fuck are you, Kel-Bell?" and I will answer "I'm just a well-educated mother, partner, and chef who wants to make the best life for my family and myself."