Stove Coffee

Our power was out for five days, and I was dying for coffee, so I made it on the stove:

I boiled the water and poured it over my grounds, just like a cowboy or an Amish person.  It was delicious.

12:34am, please bite me.

I hate not being able to sleep, especially these days when 4L's sleeping is barely "normal" and I have to squeeze every last second in that I can.  That being said, all I can think about is stupid stuff, random stuff, and baby stuff.  So, to try and alleviate my pain, I am just going to write it all down and see if that helps.

1) Why does my tummy hurt?

A) Probably because you've been eating so much fiber and whole peanuts, you fool.  Drink more water!

2) Where are my boxes of checks?

A) I'll tell you where they aren't - in any of the drawers you already checked three times.  They're probably in that box in the front closet that Poke got down from the top shelf the other day when you were looking for whatever you were looking for then.  They're here somewhere, don't worry.

3) Why do I keep having to pee?

A) Because you are dehydrated.  You drank yourself silly on Yuenglings Sunday night, barely moved yesterday, and all you drank was Kool-Aid and Coca-Cola.  Drink more water!

4) Is 4L still breathing?

A) Yes.  He's on his back, unwrapped, with no animals, pillows, or blankets in the crib to smother him.  God forbid anything should happen, you've done everything right and it's out of your control.  Don't worry though, he'll be up in about 2 or 3 hours anyway.

Alright, that didn't really help.  Now I'm just awake and still thinking about the same stuff.  I guess I'll pick a VHS Disney movie to watch and hope that it puts me to sleep...

Judge Not, Lest Ye be Judged.

I want to address something kinda quickly.  I'll try and make this to the point.

• If you don't like what I write, don't read it.
• If you don't like what I say about someone, 1) don't read it or, even better, 2) think about what I am saying and figure out if there might be some truth to it.  After all, these are my opinions on my life*.
• If you don't agree with what I write, 1) don't read it, or, even better, feel free to use that brain God gave you and have an adult discussion about the subject.

Nobody is forcing to you to read this blog.

Hope that clears things up!

*You have no idea what it's like to live my life.  You are not me and you never will be.  You have not experienced what I have experienced, you have not dealt with what I have encountered.

I'm Back - Again!

Yes, it's been almost two years since I posted on this blog, and for damn good reasons too.  Let's sum it up real quick so I can go eat my pizza rolls.

1) Poke & I are together - forever - as I am currently pregnant with his child & due in only nine short weeks.  More on that later!

2) Have had lots of jobs in the past two years, most of them have sucked, but now I have a sweet job (back at a retirement community, where I always wanted to be!) and I hope I am able to stay there for a long time.

3) Still need money, only now it's like $80,000.  So fork it over if you wish.

Anyway, that's about it for now, I will be posting more regularly since I am on the computer a lot for my part-time job and need to take breaks here & there so I don't doze off.

Videos You Need to Watch (and why)

3oh!3 - "Don't Trust Me"



This song absolutely RULES. It's dirty, nasty, and it makes me wanna fuck someone's brains right outta their head. I especially love the hook - "Shush girl, shut your lips! Do the Helen Keller and talk with your hips!" Nice. Plus the one dude looks like Seann William Scott...mmm...

Theory of a Deadman - "Hate My Life"



I totally feel this song. My ex-husband used to make fun of me because I'd always tell him "I hate my life" - but I really did! Now someone has put my feelings to lyrics to music and I dig it. Also, the lead singer is hot - too bad he looks kinda like Poke.

One Republic - "Apologize"



Always loved this song, never checked out the video til recently. The video actually isn't all that great, a little too artsy-fartsy for me, but still kinda cool. I was totally stoked when Kris Allen did it on American Idol, but I was highly disappointed when I heard the Timbaland hip-hop version. Eww.

Kanye West - "Heartless"



LOVE LOVE LOVE this song and video! I know lots of people don't care for Kanye, but I really don't think about that kinda shit. I think he makes great music and it's so fucking catchy while still having some meaning behind it. This song reminds me of my relationship with Poke - just switch the "he" to "she" and so on. So true.

The Ting-Tings - "That's Not My Name"



Hahaha. Yeah, I've been that girl who sleeps around a lot and I often wonder if ol' dude remembers my name the next week... Hilarious song, catchy, fun.


That's about all I've got for now. Enjoy.

It's Been Awhile...

Wow. Ok.

I don't even know where to start. I guess the beginning would be good, thanks smartass, but I don't really know what the beginning is...

Let's categorize.

School - awesome. Getting super good grades. Felt slightly failure-ish the last couple weeks while doing chicken, but I am going to attribute it to 1) Hating chicken 2) Being sick and 3) Really fucking hating chicken. There was some drama with KS, the 53 yr old woman in my class, but whatever, it's mostly just entertainment now. You'd think somebody who is that age would have some tact/couth/knowledge of how to act in a social situation, but I guess it's not always true. BB, EM, and AT have all withdrawn. It's ok. I'm just glad that they finally figured it out. AT will be back after she has her baby, but we'll be long gone or at least in our externships by that point, so whatever. Other than that, school is cool.

Me!

Me scraping out marrow from Osso Bucco


Me eating the marrow (it really wasn't that bad)

WR and MB eatin' chicken wings

Chefs trying my delicious Pork Enchiladas

MB. Chicken Wing. Watch out!

RP trying out the Parmesan Crusted Chicken Breast

Work - Been at the Steak'n'Shake for about a month and a half now. It is good! I really like working there, and I kinda didn't think I would. I've never been a waitress before, and I always was like "oh I hate people I can't do that job" but actually it's great. The money leaves a bit to be desired, but I am still making practically double what I was at DQ, so that in and of itself makes the job way more awesome! I guess I just pictured tips being more... well... plentiful. But then again, even tho S'n'S is kinda on the pricey side, people don't seem to really think of it as a "real restaurant". HELLO?! Hasn't anyone seen the commercials? This is not a "workeraunt!" The only terrible thing that has happened is this totally random bruise that I cannot for the life of me figure out. It just appeared. I tease Poke that it's the exact size of his thumb, but I really think I closed my arm in the salad cooler door last week.



Family - Good. My brother just had his 19th birthday. My dad walks with a cane now, and he's having surgery on his knees tomorrow - I think they're being scraped again. That's about all.

Poke - Ah yes, I know you were all waiting for this part of the update! Ok, so after I dropped him off at the bus station, I texted him a couple times between then and the next day. When I heard from him again, he was absolutely miserable. He had originally been in an apt with 3 black people, 2 of which were racist lesbians. His other roommate was just weird, so he switched to live in a house with some other people. I was shocked that they had him rooming with females in the first place, but whatever. So Monday was the 1st day, he had some classes, then it was time for the physical (actually I can't remember if it was Mon or Tues...) Regardless, he filled out the forms and stuff, and realized that he wouldn't pass the physical because he has back problems and sleep apnea, 2 major things they don't allow the truckers to have. So that was pretty much the straw that broke the camel's back on top of being miserable with his living situation and being terribly homesick. He was back by Wednesday morning. I wasn't really angry, just kinda disappointed, but if he was going to be miserable not learning anything and not pass the physical anyway, why should he waste his money staying out there? So, that was that. He had an interview yesterday at a lumber place up in Westerville which seems promising. He will still get to be a driver, just not have his CDL. I guess we'll work on that later.

Besides Poke's career, things have been going very well for us. I made it clear, both verbally and otherwise (ha ha but don't think I'm beating him or anything!) that this time it really is on my terms and that if he wants to be with me he needs to realize that I'm not putting up with anything and that I basically own him. It's nice though, because we've gone into another level of this relationship now. He wants to move in. He wants to make a serious committment. He wants to move to Boston with me. I'm no longer poking and prodding and trying to convince. He has actually said he wants this that or the other thing, and it's wonderful. We went to a friend's wedding, and the next day Poke was talking about what kind of things we could do for ours. Things this time are just so much more open and real and better, and I think it's because I didn't just let him back in with a big "You're Forgiven". I made him work for it.

So, here are some random pictures. Enjoy. I promise I will update more often from now on! Working 25-35 hrs a week on top of 35-ish hours of school keeps me pretty busy though!

CL, Poke's brother

The new Mr. and Mrs. RS during their first dance!

Groomsmen

Boys waiting to catch the garter

Cutting the cake

Before the ceremony

CL and Poke

JW and RS

Poke

KS

RS

Me!

23 Minutes in Hell

----------------- Bulletin Message -----------------
From: Ian G
Date: Feb 18, 2008 6:30 PM


From: ATHEISTS AGNOSTICS SKEPTICS & HUMANISTS ON MYSPACE
Date: Feb 18, 2008 5:12 PM

The Twilight Zone

I.
Can't.
Sleep.

I have a doctor's appointment at 10 am tomorrow morning (well ok, i should say in six flippin' hours...) and I am NOT tired. Now, if I didn't have to work tomorrow night it wouldn't be so bad, but tomorrow is going to be the LONGEST day ever.



Other news:
Still haven't heard from my friend. I'm worried. I know he won't pull a Poke on me and just take off, and sometimes I know he gets a little antisocial, I just wish he'd at least say hi or something. Maybe I'm being selfish, but goddamnit, I want to talk to my friend!

I gave up beer for lent again this year. So far, so good. I don't think I will miss it, as I am now more open to liquor-based drinks such as cheap vodka and soda water, lol.

I guess that's all. Oh, here are birthday pics:

Me and MW

Me and KS from school

Me and AT from school

My super awesome cup with lights and a penis!

Me drinking from said cup

MW and her girlfriend

AC yay

Me and RW from school

Me and RP from school

Me and EM from school

Buy My Book!

Click Here to do so
=)

Damnit All to Hell

So, it used to be that white people were racist. Then black people became racist once they were freed. And then white people got racist amongst their own kind, ie, Dirty Micks and Stupid Polaks and so forth. NOW the fucking Mexicans are getting in on it. I've just about had it with everyone being so fucking politcally correct!! You came from Mexico? You're a goddamn wetback. You're Italian? Fucking Dago! My god! I'm german, polish, female, and fat. Do you think that I don't hear my share of shit? Do you think that I don't get looks because I'm fat? It's okay to be a fat black woman, then you're all snap snap and shit. But a fat white girl seems to always be looked at as white trash even when it's not true. I'm not a lower life form just because I weigh twice as much as you. Fuck! I swear to god, if I have to hear one more thing about politcal correctness, I might just shoot myself in the foot. No, not the foot... YOUR FOOT! You stupid moronic fucking media people who egg everyone on and create all this bullshit bullshit! Grrr!

Now, I must take a shower. I miss Poke so much. He'll be home in like four days though... I can't stand not having anyone intelligent to talk to about Walker and Lifetime movies and the irony of things... *sniff*

PS - I'm having an in-house sale this weekend so come and buy my shit so I can pay my bills.

Yet another list!

Things that absolutely disgust me:

• White trash
• Girls who have more than one child by more than one dude
• Ketchup
• Midgets
• Degoes
• Runny eggs (except for the yellow part, that I love!)
• Burps/Belches, especially when someone tries to speak while doing so
• Ants
• The weird texture that happens to mashed potatoes when you microwave them in a plastic bowl
• Dolphins
• Cottage cheese w/fruit on top
• Frisco sauce
• Jaeger (although I can't pass up a free shot of it, I just wince)
• The inside of a vagina, unless I'm watching a baby come out
• Furry pussies (what is this, 1978? Get a razor ladies!)
• Taint
• Small paperclips
• Paperclips with coating
• Ribbed paperclips (for your pleasure)
• Spittle from tobacco chew
• Drool in general
• The smell of a boy who's been playing outside all day
• Wet dogs (see above, they smell the same)

That's all I can think of. Those things listed above will actually make me gag - some just a little, some actually to the point of yakking. I'm a strange bird.

Visuals

Sheeba with her arms over Fox's arms. How cute!



Sheeba loves my tits.



Ace and me at Eldo's! See how I look when I smile?? Like a fat face! That's why I always look serious in pictures, cuz I don't want my chubby cheeks to take over the rest of my face.



Me, close up. Serious.



Me at work!! Serious!!



Me on the couch... it's fucking hot and serious.



My kitties hugging.

Dirty dirty

My hatred for white trash gets stronger every day.

Check it.

RIH Jerry Falwell

Jerry Falwell on his way to Hell... riding the slide into the Styx River.
Thanks to Joe.My.God for this great image/idea.

Rorschach Test... yum.

Presenting the first annual ELE Food Rorschach Test. Your answers will provide a window into your inner soul (food and otherwise). But unlike other (psychologists and psychiatrists) professionals who administer Rorschach tests, I have no way of interpreting the results. And since this is a self-administered Rorschach, you can interpret the results any way you see fit. If it's not too painful I would appreciate everyone who takes the test to share his or her results in any way you deem appropriate.

• 1) Haggen Dasz or Ben & Jerry's? Ben & Jerry's - they have purpose.
  
• 2) Skippy or Jif? Neither, I hate peanut butter and it has no place in my cupboards.
  
• 3) Bagel or Bialy? Bagel! I love Jews!
  
• 4) Whipped or Regular Cream Cheese? Neufchatel - lower in fat and much tastier.
  
• 5) Relish or Sauerkraut on your hot dogs? Sauerkraut - I'm German. Relish is yucky.
  
• 6) Milk or Dark Chocolate? Dark, preferably bittersweet.
  
• 7) Salted or Sweet Butter? Unsalted but not sweet.
  
• 8) Pastrami or Corned Beef on a Deli Sandwich? CORNED BEEF (again I love Jews!)
  
• 9) French Fries or Onion Rings? Onion rings, the only rings I like.
  
• 10) Espresso, Regular Coffee or Latte? All of the above, please!!
  
• 11) Crispy or Pliant Bacon? Crispy all the way. Pliant bacon is just gross.
  
• 12) White or Dark Meat (on either chicken or turkey)? Dark - more flavor for sure.
  

The only rule that will be strictly enforced is the no equivication rule. That is, you can't say that I like sweet butter on certain things, and salted butter on others, even if it's true. You must decide which is your over-all preference and vote accordingly.

I would also appreciate any suggestions about questions that should be on the next Food Rorschach test.

You may start the test any time.

She feels like the rest of us

I knew there was a real reason why I drank. It's cuz our country is going to hell in a handbasket!

An Evil Thought?

My exes usually have really ugly girlfriends after me. That makes me happy. I can only think of one ex who has a pretty new girl, and he married her, so yay. Now they have cute kids.

I'm glad I'm so purty.

Mas en Cinco de Mayo a otra dia

Pero para ahora, este blog me está haciendo enojado. Finalmente conseguí una disposición dulce y entonces quienquiera la hizo decidida para quitar el cuadro principal de él. ¡Poop en todo! Me cuelgan realmente sobre hoy. Mi, mi, mi.

Emu!

A Couple of Pics, Randomly.

Here's Fox's eye.


Here's Fox stretching out sexy-like.



Sheeba, blurry.



Mickey sleeping - awww!



Bishop at work.



Me at work.



BI's cat, Natasia.



Natasia lookin' at no food.



Me looking absolutely stunning. It's amazing.