42 - 39

This is my mouth.

Yeah! OSU fucking ROCKS!! We beat Michigan's ASS!! YAHOO!!

Ok. Enough.



So, I had a most beautiful weekend. Friday my mom and I went to Wendell's and then to SJK's football game. The game was kinda shitty, I don't know, they just weren't playing very well. The University of Michigan Marching Band played at half time, and even tho I'm all "go bucks" it was nice. They didn't have to play at a high school game the night before a big game! It was cool. Unfortunately SJK's team lost, and now football is over until next July. It was kinda sad for the seniors and stuff, and even SKJ was tearing up a little. Very emotional.


Saturday I was so pumped up for the game, but I made myself lay on the couch and watch Blue Velvet so that I would have energy for drinking and celebrating. I talked to D*Martin, cuz we were supposed to do something for the game together, but he ended up bitching out on me, and Poke finally called and he said he didn't really feel like going out. So I headed to Zuey's on my own.

On the way Poke called and confirmed that Zuey's wasn't really what he was feeling, but that was okay cuz I know he's not a huge football fan. When I got there, the place was packed. It was so awesome. They had buckets of 6 for $10, which ruled. I found myself a booth and parked it, not to move for another hour or so. Some dude came and asked if he could sit with me and I said sure, as long as he wasn't cheering for Michigan.

He said he wasn't, so we sat together. His friend showed up after awhile, and they were both pretty nice. Poke called me right before half time and said he was coming up to Zuey's. I had sent him some text messages telling him how awesome the game was and how fun the bar was, so I guess I changed his mind! Haha. Anyway.

I ended up drinking a ridiculous amount of beer, and I really should not have been driving, but I made it home safely, thank god. Poke hung out for awhile before he had to go to work; we were going to go drive down High St. and watch people light couches on fire, but decided to just have some time at home. He left around nine forty five, I chilled on the couch, talked to Psyndi, and eventually passed out around... oh, I'd say eleven fifteen. At the very latest. I was DRUNK. And it was pretty cool.


Poke came over after work, around 7am, and we cuddled together for awhile in bed and I guess I fell asleep cuz I woke up again around ten. We talked about my dreams and his dream and it was just so nice. No arguments. No anger. No frustration. Beautiful! I may be in love for real again. This could be the coolest fucking thing ever.

Sheeba's attacking me.


Fox is feeling blue.

Mickey takin' a nap.



After Poke went home, I watched The daVinci Code and it was so lame. I was very disappointed, but I should not have been surprised because I was quite disappointed in the book too. I mean, it was okay but I'm glad I didn't pay money to see it (go blockbuster online!) I took a really long nap, ate some food, unpacked some more, talked to SS (we're making up) and then headed out to karaoke. Woo! That was a fun time. It started off boring, but ended up quite swell. I had a great time. Cat was upset about Crash and cried a lot, but it was okay, cuz she needs to get it out. It was definitely a good time because I love hanging out with my friends and spending time with them.


This is D*Martin singing "God Bless America" and "We are the Champions"

Here I am when I let Dooger do my hair...

And here I am, watching D*Martin sing.




Tonight I suppose I will be going to Triple 16, but I don't think I'll be drinking cuz I've had more than enough beer to last me til Wednesday or so. Rock on!!

This weekend, I also realised that because of SL, I now know for sure what I will and will not stand for. I will not stand for lying, violence, hatred, and disrespect. That's not a complete list of course. But I sent him the following text message:
"Thank you for giving me the time to realise who I actually am an what I want. If I hadn't dated you, I wouldn't be w/the great man I have an I wouldn't have the new opportunities that I have now. I had thought it was a mistake but it was a journey. And I'm glad it happened."

So now I can forget about him completely because I made my own closure. Sweet.

Pics!

Poke and me.

Me looking cute in a trucker hat that Poke gave me.


Again, with the cute hat.


Poke, so sexy.


Poke and me. I look kinda confused or something.


GG and Me! Blurry but so cute.

Scarlet and Gray!

We Don't Give a Damn for the Whole State of Michigan

O, we don't give a damn for the whole state of Michigan!
The whole state of Michigan, the whole state of Michigan!
We don't give a damn for the whole state of Michigan, we're from Ohio!
We're from Ohio...O-H!
We're from Ohio...I-O!
O, we don't give a damn for the whole state of Michigan!
The whole state of Michigan, the whole state of Michigan!
We don't give a damn for the whole state of Michigan, we're from Ohio !

Buckeye Battle Cry

In old Ohio (Columbus) there's a team,
That's known thru-out the land;
Eleven warriors, brave and bold,
Whose fame will ever stand,
And when the ball goes over,
Our cheers will reach the sky,
Ohio Field will hear again
The Buckeye Battle Cry.

Drive! Drive on down the field;
Men of the scarlet and gray;
Don't let them thru that line,
We've got to win this game today,
Come on, Ohio!
Smash thru to victory,
We'll cheer you as you go;
Our honor defend
So we'll fight to the end
For Ohio.

We'll scatter to the east and west,
When college days are done;
And memories will cling around,
The dreams of everyone;
We'll play the game of living,
With head and shoulders high!
And where in wear the spirit of
The Buckeye Battle Cry!

Drive! Drive on down the field;
Men of the scarlet and gray;
Don't let them thru that line,
We've got to win this game today,
Come on, Ohio!
Smash thru to victory,
We'll cheer you as you go;
Our honor defend
So we'll fight to the end
For Ohio.

Round on the End and High in the Middle

Old man Biddle gave me a riddle just the other day,
I guessed it right away, I am glad to say,
The riddle he gave to me, I will give to you--,
And if you think you're smart like me, Let's see what you can do.

(It's) Round on the end and "Hi" in the middle.
Tell me if you know.
Don't you think that's a cute little riddle
Round on the end and "Hi" in the middle
You can find it on the map if you look high and low.
The O's are round, it's high in the middle. O-H-I-O That's the riddle!
Round on the end and "Hi" in the middle.
O-HI-O!

Pa and mother, my great big brother couldn't guess it right,
Tho' they tried with all their might, Just the other night,
I've got the riddle down by heart, And I ain't no fool,
I'm goin' teach this riddle too, To all the kids at school.

(It's) Round on the end and "Hi" in the middle.
Tell me if you know.
Don't you think that's a cute little riddle
Round on the end and "Hi" in the middle
You can find it on the map if you look high and low.
The O's are round, it's high in the middle. O-H-I-O That's the riddle!
Round on the end and "Hi" in the middle.
O-HI-O!

Fight the Team Across the Field

Fight the team across the field
Show them Ohio's here
(We've got the team why don't we)
Set the Earth reverberating
With a mighty cheer
RAH! RAH! RAH!
Hit them hard and see how they fall
Never let that team get the ball
Hail! Hail! The gang's all here
So let's win that old conference now!
(So let's beat that Michigan now!)
(Oh, Ohio! Oh, Ohio! Wahoo! Wahoo for Ohio!)

1-900-Pokesalot

So. I have a boyfriend and his name is Poke. Anyone surprised? I am! Seriously. We all remember that it didn't work out back then, and who would have thought it would ever happen again? Not me. I wanted to date him, but I never thought he'd want to date me. I was under the impression that he wasn't in the market for a serious girlfriend. Apparently I was wrong! Yay!
*dances around happily*

So, Wednesday Poke came over, and I had a wonderful romantic thing set up for us. At this point, we're not dating. He had wanted something involving these high heels I had, and I figured that if I was gonna make myself look all sexy for him then I may as well make the house look sexy too. So I turned down the lights, lit some candles in the bedroom, put on some music... it was very wonderful. He was quite pleased and I definitely reaped the benefits of that! After quality time, we met up with JW at Spoonz near my parents' house on Sawmill. Once again Poke drove and paid for everything. It was swell. JW is pretty funny, and we get along well. It's just strange to look at him because he looks so much like my little brother. Seriously. The three of us just pretty much sat there and yakked all night, and it was quite relaxing. There was a super fat guy who looked like SL's 400 pound twin, and that was amusing. JW does this great impression of D*Martin, omg, it was dead on. I thought I was going to choke on my beer from laughing so hard. He sounded just like him.
We were going to go to Brewstir's in the Continent but decided to just go home instead. I was so drunk because I hadn't bothered to eat dinner, since I was too busy being sexy and stuff. It was a wonderful night. Shortly before we left, I don't really know how it happened, but Poke and I were talking about god knows what, I can't even remember, and suddenly I find myself saying, "So does that mean you're my boyfriend?" and he was like, "Yes." And I was happy. Later he told me he loved me without hardly any provocation. I was happy.

I am happy still.

Poke stayed at my house all day, did some laundry for me, and watched movies. My damn cable still hasn't been installed. I went and picked up GG after work, and we got home around 6:15pm and I made the mac'n'cheese (mmm!) while they sat and talked. I think they got along pretty well, which is great, and I think that as time goes on they will probably get along better once they are used to how the other one is. We watched The Little Mermaid and talked while the dinner was cooking. GG loved my mac'n'cheese too, that was awesome. She ate two huge plates and I was like "Yup." After dinner Poke was trying to fill his Zippo with this lighter fluid that I have. He filled the cotton up and tried lighting it, and he kept flicking the thing over and over, when all of a sudden it burst into flames. This flaming lighter comes flying right towards GG and me, I back up and she backs up and I'm like blowing on it to put it out, cuz it landed right next to my regular lighter and I didn't want that to explode. It was all over within 45 seconds. Poor Poke's finger hair got singed off. Luckily no one got hurt and my table didn't get damaged either. It was very traumatic for that short time though!
The three of us headed up to Gordy's for the karaoke contest. It was a very fun time, although I was slightly annoyed when I found out that I couldn't win. I was told that you could win once a month, but apparently you can only win once every four weeks. Sneaky sneaky! Poke and GG didn't win anything either, and none of us won any gift certificates. It was kinda disheartening, but we had a really swell time anyway. GG got to meet AK from work, and she thought he was the bee's knees. I'm glad my friends can all get along. It seemed like AK and Poke got along quite swimmingly as well!

GG's survey

Part 1: The Birth of You

Were you the first?:
Yes

Who was present at your birth?:
I don't know, I was adopted. I would assume my biological mother was there.

Were your parents married when you were born?:
My parents were, but my biological parents were not.

What is your birthday?
2/1/82


Part 2: The Family

Are your parents married or divorced?
Married.

An only child?:
No, I have a little brother.

If you have siblings are you oldest, middle, or youngest?:
Oldest.

What are your sibling's names?:
Scott.

Which parent do you get along with best?:
My dah.

What do you fight about?
My life choices.

Do you have step parents?:
LOL! NO! My parents are still married!


Part 3: The Friends

Do you have more than one best friend?
Yes, but only two more than one (that would be three best friends.)

What do you like to do when you are together?
Karaoke, movies, eating out

Do you share the same interests?:
Heck yes!

Which friend can you tell anything to?:
GG, Poke, JAFH


Part 4: Your Personality

How high/low is your self esteem?:
It might be considered negative even.

Do you get depressed about things easily?:
Yes. That's why I'm on this medication.

Are you an extravert (outgoing) or an introvert (reserved)?:
Introvert. Until the beer kicks in.

Are you happy?:
I am now!

Do you live life to the fullest?:
Mostly, I try to.


Part 5: Appearance

Are you comfortable with the way you look?
I'm getting there. I'd like to lose more weight, but I'm alright.

Describe your hair?
ROCK STAR! Ok, it's orange and long.

How do you dress?
Casual. Semi-goth/punk.


Part 6: The Past

Were you a strange child?:
Yes. I liked to make videos of myself and record cassette tapes of myself singing and dancing, I'd dress my little brother up in Cabbage Patch clothes, and I always played by myself. I loved to play alone because no one ever played the right way! I always played that I worked in an office.

What did you used to love that you no longer do?
Swimming, cocaine.

Was there anything in your past that was traumatizing?
When I was about five, I was going to a parade with my parents. They told me that my grandmother wasn't going to be there, but when we got there, I saw her. I ran over and gave her a big hug, and when she looked down at me, it was NOT my grandma. It was a mean old ugly lady who yelled at me for hugging her. Since that moment, I have been terrified of the entire human race.
Also I was kidnapped by my black neighbor when I was about 3-4, along w/my friend Karine, and he told us in detail how he was going to kill all the little white girls in the neighborhood.


Part 7: The Future

What is your ambition?:
Lose weight, save money, get divorced.

Are you scared of growing old?:
No, I'm looking forward to it.

Do you want to get married?:
Yes


Part 8: The Outdoors

Do you prefer indoors or outdoors?:
Indoors

Favorite Season:
Spring and Fall.

Do you like walking in the rain?:
No. I hate wet feet.


Part 9: Food

Are you a vegetarian?:
Not anymore but I'm seriously considering going back.

What is your favorite food?:
Sushi

What food makes you want to gag?:
Chicken with bones (nuggets are okay.)

What is your favorite dessert?
n/a

What is your favorite restaurant?:
Fiesta Jalisco, Otani's

Are you a fussy eater?
Very


Part 10: Relationships and Love

Are you single or taken?:
Taken

If taken who is the lucky guy/girl?:
Poke

Do you think love is the best feeling in the world?:
It's in the top ten.

Do you believe in love at first sight?:
Not anymore.


Part 11: Experiences

What was one of your greatest experiences?:
Predicting my mom's pregnancy.

What was one of the worst?
So far, death of my good friend Crash and my Uncle Ronnie. My GMaK died too, but that wasn't necessarily terrible because she was old and in lots of pain.

Have you ever done drugs?
Yes.

Have you ever thought you were going to die?:
Yes.

Take this veil from off my eyes...

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Stop!! JUST STOP!!

Oh I am so tired of drama and things like that. Yes, it's entertaining, but come ON people. Seriously. I can't even post, I'm so irritated.

On the other hand, tomorrow is Poke and Kel-Bell day. Yippy.

I got my shoes at Payless as a matter of fact! They were $16.99 marked down from $70. I refuse to pay more than $25 for shoes. And I always get great deals.

This Bitch.

Karaoke is fun. I love my friends. I hate liars and cheaters. This bitch is so lucky I don't throw the first punch. I will kick her ass though. If she lays a finger on GG or anyone I know for that matter, its over. Thursday she was just Layla some crazy bitch, but last night she turned into Cunt Bitch Extraordinaire #2. Oh yeah. No one tells me I can't hug my friend. I'm pretty pissed at him too. Fuck.

Now, some pictures.


Here is Fox sleeping on my foot.



Here is my living room.


Here is my kitchen.




Here is my bedroom.


Here is my half bath.




Here is my wall.



Here is my patio (it's shitty cuz it's dark out.)


Here are the stairs.



(to the 2nd floor)
(to the landing/half bath)
(to the basement)


Here is the basement.
I didn't get to take any pics of the main bathroom or the spare room because at the time they were filled with boxes. =( It's okay though, they aren't now so I will take some pics later!



Here are my sexy shoes. Boys like to fuck me while I'm wearing them.

Post

i had such a great weekend. friday night i pretty much chilled at home and unpacked everything. i only have about ten percent left. i watched the end of murder by numbers, finally. i almost fell asleep again even though it was only like fifteen minutes lol. saturday was the day for time warner to come and install the cable. i wolf up early so i dyed my hair, did a load of laundry, and did a load of dishes. i also watched the chronicles of narnia, which was a great movie. the cable guy still hadn't shown by the time it was over so i started on the next round of unpacking. put away all my videos and dvds and when i got to putting the books away cable boy finally showed. oh he was hot too! ended up that the outside any is busted though so i still don't have cable. so pissed. then i net up with suicide dave a easton and we went to the shadowbox cabaret, which was super fun. btw i wrote all this on my mobile phone.

Uncle Jesse and the meaning of life

Last night was super swell. GG and I went out to dinner at Fiesta Jalisco, then headed over to my house and I showed her around. It was a little confusing because of all the turns and stairs, but I think she will get used to it after awhile. We chilled and then headed out to karaoke. It was a very very fun time and we were so so silly. Especially at the restaurant because there were some middle aged ladies sitting at the booth across from us, and they were just being old. Saying funny things that we missed half the sentence and it was hilarious. One of them laughed and I mocked her and GG cracked up. It was great. Karaoke was fun too. A different person other than Zara did the show, but I've met him before, and he was pretty good. There was this crazy chick there, Layla, and she was irritating the hell out of GG and me. She was ugly with pale skin and a fake red ponytail. She was telling GG all about how her sister is blind and she went to OSSB and stuff, like GG would really fucking know her. Especially since her sister is like five years behind GG. How lame. She couldn't sing either, omg. She was telling us how she and her fiance are getting married in Eldo's, for real, and how they are regulars. GG and I were like WHATEVER because if they were really regulars they would know us and they would know GG's dad and everything. But all the people we asked did she know, she said no. We laughed at her in front of her face and she laughed with us. It was a super swell time, other than that girl being so annoying, but at least it gave us something to laugh about! I took GG home around twelve fifteen, I think.

I went home and watched the rest of the South Park movie, and I still wasn't tired, so I tried to watch the rest of Murder By Numbers that Poke and I had started on Wednesday. That did the trick! About fifteen minutes into it I started to drift off. What a boring ass movie. I don't even know why it's so boring, it's a great story. Oh well.

I had the most terrifying dream ever. For real. I dreamt that I was in a karaoke contest that was being held in St. Mary Magdalene Church. The contest worked like this: You would pick out two songs to sing, and the moderators would pick out two songs for you. OA and D*Martin were the moderators. I picked out "When Its Over" and "Black Horse and the Cherry Tree" but I turned them in too late so I had to sing the song OA picked out. It was "Girlfriend" but he wouldn't tell me which version it was. There are so many songs called "Girlfriend"! After you sing your first song, you are voted into or out of the next round, sort of like American Idol. I sat in the audience and watched everyone sing. These two girls I knew from high school were there, a chick from grade school, and RMac were there too. I was after RMac. There was some girl also named Kelly that was singing, and she was not too bad. She thought she sucked though, and after she was finished she ran to the bathroom. I was up in two people, so I went to the bathroom at that point. When I was in the stall I heard her crying to her friend about how terrible she was. I came out and tried to say nice things to her while I was washing my hands, but she was so stuck up that she didn't even want any moral support from someone she was competing against.
I wasn't nervous really, because I was pretty sure I had the whole thing wrapped up. I didn't think OA would try and screw my chance by picking out a song I didn't know. Well when I got up there to sing, it started off as "Green-eyed Lady" by Sugar Loaf, which is a song that I kinda know but not so much. I figured I could fake my way through it, until a book appeared in my hand and the tune changed. The book was a sort-of lyric book, very large but not too many pages, and it had big abstract pictures. Then, the lyrics changed to French. I had no idea what was going on, I couldn't speak French, and I couldn't keep up with the words. I was sweating and on the verge of tears by the time it was over. When the music stopped, I looked up out into the audience, and everyone was just sitting there with their mouths hanging open. No one clapped. I stammered something about "trying my best on a song I'd never heard before" but they booed me off the stage and out of the building.
Outside I was walking down the sidewalk and ran into Uncle Jesse from Full House. He was helping some kid fix his bike. We started talking and he gave me a nice long speech about the meaning of life and how I should only care about what I think and not worry about other people. I told him he was insane and asked if he would like to have sex. He said that would be just fine, and we climbed into a refrigerator that was near a tree. The fridge led to some underground house. Then I woke up.

Oh yeah, and... I forgot to say

That Poke paid for everything (except for the beers I bought at the Northpointe) and drove the whole time (well I drove to the movies, lol but it was not far) and took care of me in general. It's been so long since I had a good man to take care of me. The thing is that we aren't even dating or talking about dating or anything like that. We're just friends. I'm glad I've started raising the ethereal bar. Fuck you and your lazy good for nothing making me pay most of the time ass. Relationships are supposed to be equal. ALL relationships.

I feel like this kid right now. I have no idea where it came from or who he/she is, but it came up on my Google search for "big smile"! I'm happy.



Not to mention the fact that he told me (again) that he loves me (ha, I may have conned him into saying it, that's okay!) and that I'm beautiful. And something about a girl in a porno he has that looks like me... but she's hispanic... not sure how I feel about that. But it's all good.

I'm a menace, a dentist, an oral hygenist!

In case you haven't noticed, I went and labeled all my previous posts. I don't really know why, but it seemed like a good idea. As you all know I love labeling things, so... yeah.

Tuesday was a wonderful day. Work was a breeze and I wasn't stressed because I knew I had a vacation day on Wednesday. The original plan was to go out and have fun Tuesday and unpack some more on Wednesday but...

I had already told Poke I was claiming him for Tuesday night since I haven't really spent any time with him lately and he had the night off. Also I was dying to go out on a Tuesday when I had Wednesday off because I didn't want to worry about having to get up early. So Poke came over around eight o'clock, we had a couple beers in the kitchen after I gave him a tour of my new place (which he loved!) and talked for a little while. Around nine we headed up to the Northpointe Tavern near my parents' house on Sawmill. It was dead, but yay, JH that I went to high school with. He is actually my (high school) best friend's little brother. It was a good time. Poke bought us a shot and I bought us each a beer and we split this thing called Tilt, an energy malt beverage by Budweiser. It was pretty good, 8.9% abv or something. I got to sing three songs in less than an hour, and so did Poke. After that we headed to Brewstirs in Clintonville.

Everyone was there, and I was so thrilled. Psyn, DL, D*Martin, Cat of course, The Sir, EVERYONE!! It was great. Poke bought us a couple shots and a couple pitchers, we sang some songs, and it was probably the most fun I've had out at karaoke in a year. Seriously. When SL and I went, it was always "be on guard" because god forbid I talk to someone else for more than five minutes. I could go talk to someone, come back to Poke, chill w/him, go talk to someone else, etc. It was so fun. Psyn and I were crazy!! Everyone was in a great mood. I really had a lot of fun. We left at about 1:30am, and the plan was to go to Hounddogs but Poke got on 71N instead of south, so he decided McDonald's would be better. I have never eaten McD's while drunk. He got three sandwiches and some fries and I got some nuggets and fries. It was insane. I don't think I'll ever eat drunken McD's again. Poke thought he was going to yak. I laughed. We fed the cats french fries. Then sleep.

The next morning we woke up around eleven thirty, laid around for awhile, then showered and went to see Borat. The theater we went to didn't have it, so we saw Saw III instead. Oh, what a great movie. It was just as good as the first and better than the second. I thought I was going to ralph though, cuz it was so incredibly disgusting and gross. But it was a great film. We had Chipotle for lunch before the movie, and afterwards went to Giant Eagle to get some stuff and then back to my place to watch another movie. We were both tired, and starting to drift off, so he left around six pm. I took a nap, ate some dinner, watched The Omen (which RULES!!) and then tried to watch the South Park movie but I was too tired.

What a wonderful two days. I am a happy happy happy girl. I like having fun and not giving a fuck about anything. I should try and live like this more often. Now, some pics:


This is JH from high school.


This is emo Hypnotiq. They love each other and they are laying on the curb.



Poke in the kitchen.


Poke drunkish, eating fries.


Poke feeding fries to Mickey.

Bizzy!

Last night I hung out with Bizzy Bone from Bone Thugs 'n' Harmony. Oh yeah.

South Park!

Had to Post this Joke

A guy is in a bar with a bunch of his friends. After a while of shooting pool and drinking, he whispers something to his friends. A few minutes later he walks over to the bartender and asks for a shot of tequila. After he takes the shot he says to the bartender,'' I'd like to make a bet with you.'' The bartender replies, ''Sure I'm in a betting mood.'' So the man bets the bartender $1,000 that he can piss in the shot glass placed all the way across the room and fill it up and not spill a drop. The bartender says, ''I'll take that bet.''
So the man walks to the other side of the room and places the shot glass down. He goes back to the bartender and starts pissing. He doesn't even get a drop in. He pisses all over the place. In the bartender's face, all over the barstools and everything. After he was done pissing, the bartender laughed and said, ''You owe me $1,000.'' The man paid the money with a big smile on his face. The bartender asked, ''How come you're so happy?'' The man replied, ''You see those five guys over there by the pool table? I bet them $300 each that I could piss all over your bar and you'd laugh about it.''

Here's another good one.

Did you hear about the dyslexic devil worshipper? He sold his soul to Santa.


Classic:
A Jewish student was doing well in school in all subjects except for Math. So his parents decide to send him to a private Catholic school. While there the boy came home from school and studied every day. At the end of the marking period the boy got straight A's. So his parents asked him, "What motivated you to do so well in school?" He replied, "When I saw that guy nailed to a plus sign I knew they weren't fooling around!"


Understanding Marketing

You see a fabulous girl/guy at a party. You approach them and say, "I'm fantastic in bed."

That's Direct Marketing.

You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a fabulous girl/guy. You have one of your friends approach them, point at you and say, "She's/He's fantastic in bed."

That's Advertising.

You see a fabulous girl/guy at a party. You approach them to get their telephone number. The next day you call and say, "Hi, I'm fantastic in bed."

That's Telemarketing.

You're at a party and see a fabulous girl/guy. You get up, straighten your clothes, walk up and pour them a drink. You open the door, pick up their bag after it drops, offer them a ride, and then say, "By the way, I'm fantastic in bed."

That's Public Relations.

You're at a party and see a fabulous girl/guy. They walk up to you and say, "I hear you're fantastic in bed."

That's Brand Recognition.

HILARIOUS!!
A few days before his proctological exam, a one eyed man accidentally swallowed his glass eye. He was worried for a while, but there were no ill effects, so he forgot about it.

Once he was in the doctor's office, the man followed instructions, undressed, and bent over. The first thing the proctologist saw when he looked up the man's arse was that eye staring right back at him. "You know, " said the doctor, "you really have to learn to trust me."

Religious Nuts
There were four country churches in a small Texas town: The Presbyterian Church, the Baptist Church, the Methodist Church and the Catholic Church. Each church was overrun with pesky squirrels. One day, the Presbyterian Church called a meeting to decide what to do about the squirrels. After much prayer and consideration they determined that the squirrels were predestined to be there and they shouldn't interfere with God's divine will. In the Baptist Church the squirrels had taken up habitation in the baptistery. The deacons met and decided to put a cover on the baptistery and drown the squirrels in it. The squirrels escaped somehow and there were twice as many there the next week. The Methodist Church got together and decided that they were not in a position to harm any of God's creation. So, they humanely trapped the Squirrels and set them free a few miles outside of town. Three days later, the squirrels were back. But -- The Catholic Church came up with the best and most effective solution. They baptized the squirrels and registered them as members of the church. Now they only see them on Christmas and Easter.

Attention Plz!

I am the happiest girl in the world. Seriously. I finally moved out of that shithole called The Chateau, and I now live deep in the heart of Westerville! Yay!

Moving on Saturday was a bitch, especially since four out of five people cancelled on me, but I got D*Martin, RMac, BE and his girlfriend JB to help me. Shout out!! You guys rock!! The UHaul only cost $38.31 total, which was way less than I thought it would be, and it only took us a total of 7 hours or so to move everything. I was so happy for their help, I really appreciate them. I needed it!
I'm about 75% unpacked, I pretty much only have the living room to go. Plus all the random boxes... it's all good. I'm happy happy happy! I have the bathrooms completely done, the kitchen is about 95% done, I just have some stuff in boxes like the plastic wrap and junk from the junk drawer, etc., to put away. I have so many cabinets!! The very last thing to be done will be the spare room, cuz I have to put the bed together and arrange all the crap in the closet and shit like that. I don't care, I'm happy. And the cable guy is coming tonight!! Woooooooo!

More good news, I lost six pounds. That makes a total of twelve pounds in four months, without even trying. I rule.

My Durango Number Ninety Five

I have one thing to say.

"The best way to a man's heart is not through his stomach, but through his chest with a very sharp knife."

I'm really quite pissed off at myself for thinking about SL still. I shouldn't care if he has a new girl or not, if he's doing okay, or whatever. I don't know why I even respond to his text messages or anything. He makes me cry. I'm inching my way towards hating him, but I wish I was running and could jump right into the pile of hate that I see in the distance. I can't handle this. I am so irritated. I shouldn't care about him. But I do, and I don't know why. FUCK!!

I feel like I'm drowning. On the other hand, I'm moving tomorrow. Yay.


Update - 10:49pm: Apparently I should clarify. I should have said that I should not respond to SL's text messages when they begin to upset me. It is generally me who sends the first one, usually something relevant not just random, but the more texts we send back and forth the more he upsets me. His comment made me think I should tell you all this. It's rather irritating either way. I hate being upset. I have tried to be friends with him, I have tried to be nice, and he kept changing his mind. Granted, he hasn't changed his mind much since the last time he changed it back, but I don't know how long that will last. He constantly threatens to not be my friend anymore, because I tell him my feelings, so... I don't know. I don't even know if it's worth it. I guess it's just really difficult because we were together for so long and then he was just ripped out of my life. Why should I hang on to someone who so obviously wants me out of their life? I should just let him go completely, but it's so so hard. I have to remember that I'm mourning the dream of a happy life with SL, not SL himself. That's what my shrink says. I'm grieving over the loss of my happiness. Fuck.

I can't think of a good title.

I have a lot of shit to talk about but I don't really feel like it. I'll just make a list.

• I like Ashlee Simpson songs. But I don't like her, persay.
  
• Douger is paranoid, thereby making him mean and hurt my feelings. I knew we weren't dating, I never thought we were dating, I never wanted to date. It's all because of that stupid bitch Jennifer, goddamnit.
• I'm moving to Westerville, the heart of Westerville, far away from everyone, and this is a good thing.
• Yesterday was my last karaoke for a long time.
• I hate being a girl.
• Yesterday was Sheeba's 9th birthday.
  
• I'm back on my "healthy living plan" starting Monday.
• JAFH and I are in an open relationship.
• Pasto.
• I spit a lot when I drink. It's weird.
  
• I'm very sad today, but I'm not sure why.
• If I don't take my meds, it does affect me, but I didn't think it did.
• I don't ever want to hear the words "flashlight", "condom", and "fun" in the same sentence.

That's all.
This guy is my hero.

Yay

Look.

Rock On!

Yeah bitches I got a new place to live!