Friday I worked until six pm, which was fine. By the way, if anyone has ever heard of Novastar, they suck and if you ever are refinancing and your loan officer mentions their name, leave that person immediately and come refinance with me. Yes.
Saturday morning I made blueberry pancakes for breakfast. SL had to work from 11-7 so I cleaned the house up a little, ran some errands, and it was good. I wanted to buy bagged rock for the patio, because it's only $3.00 or less per bag, but I didn't. I bought a couple of things for the house though. I made tacos for dinner, because SL didn't go to his coworker's house after work to fix her computer, and they were delicious. I forgot the green onions though! But it was okay. We tried to have some people over, but no one showed up except for D*Martin, even though they said they would. Bastards. It was alright though, we ended up watching American Psycho, my favorite movie, and SL liked it. He didn't like the ending, but I told him he had to be more open minded to get it. I guess he didn't notice some little things that elude to the ending, but that's okay because I've seen it about seventeen or more times and that was his first time ever. Yes.
Sunday SL had to work again, so I cleaned the kitchen and then napped on and off all day because I didn't feel like doing shit. I watched the old "Little Women" on TMC and it was good. I fell asleep before the end, but that was fine because I know how it goes. I made pork tenderloin and green bean casserole for dinner, and it was delicious. Oh yes. We went to karaoke, and that was pretty fun. I saw my old friend JM, whom I haven't seen in about five years, and that was fucking awesome. I sang "Wake Up Older" and fucking rocked at it, surprisingly, I didn't think I would rock so much on a Buster. But I did! Go ME! I'mjust so proud of myself because I love that song. Now to tackle the Cherry Tree song. We'll see. Anyway, the evening was going well, RMac showed up and that was cool. Then, Julia the bartender supposedly in her drunkeness called this black chick Rochelle a nigger, and Cat got pissed, and CB pulled the plug on karaoke and it was a big drama. Cat took everything down and D*Martin loaded it all with SL's help into the car and that was that. Karaoke was over. We'll see if she comes back, I'm sure she will.
So, I'm going to make something very clear because I think it seems like I might be wishy-washy on this topic. I don't like Mel, the end. I think she is a drunken whore trying to present herself as a good-two-shoes, and I don't dig that. She can go far far away as much as I'm concerned. When I see her, she ruins my evening in the style of thinking you have a big bag of pure cocaine which turns out to be anthrax. The end.
17 July 2006
Jason the Asian
Let's start with the first one.
I was going to a party at DJ's house, and it was his going away to Cleveland party. SL was with me. We drove over to DJ's parents' house, where he was staying, and it was in the woods. It was a humongous house, surrounded by trees. We parked on this lane, and walked in. The party was wonderful, everyone I knew was there, and we all had a great time. SUCH a good time in fact that we decided to have a second party the next night. For some reason, this next party was a going away party for NB also. So the next night SL and I headed out there, and when we arrived, I had him go up to the door to make sure people were there because I didn't want to be the first to go in. An hour later I woke up in the car, and realised that SL had never come back. I walked up to the garage and went into the house through the side door. SL was in there, flirting with TD and her friend MN. I started yelling at him, and noticed that my awesome outfit was turning stupid-looking with every word that came out of my mouth. I had been wearing my cool black shirt, jeans, and these nifty spike-heel boots, but as I spoke, my jeans turned into running shorts, and my spike heeled boots turned into a nasty green color and instead of pantyhose underneath I was wearing ugly green socks. So I stopped yelling, and walked away, and went to sit by NB, SB, and DJ, who were all doing coke in the living room. I sat on DJ's lap, because I was skinny in the dream, and he had coke all over his face. He kept snorting out and getting his used coke on me, and I was getting irritated. SL walked up the stairs when DJ's face was all close to mine, and got mad. He stormed out, and I didn't follow him. That was it.
****
I was at an amusement park in the woods, with my new boyfriend Chuck, the asian, and his brother Charlie and some girl. We were all having a wonderful time, and then it started to rain. We decided to go back to Chuck's apartment, and they went in their car and I went in mine. We were driving down 270, and they passed me right before I got stuck in traffic caused by an accident. I ended up back at their complex about 45 minutes later. I was looking all over for Chuck, and I couldn't find him. Their apartment complex looked more like a commune than a community. I was wandering around all over, and I finally found Charlie. I asked him where Chuck was, and he said "Who is Chuck?" and I was like "My boyfriend, the asian!" and he said that his name was Jason, not Chuck. Then I remembered it was actually Jason. So Charlie gave me his number, and I tried calling him, and kept wandering. I finally ended up at his apartment, where I found him making out with this girl who looked like a girl I went to high school with. I yelled at Jason why would he do that when we just started dating, and he said that although I had the better personality, was prettier, and better in bed, he chose her because she was ugly and boring and needed love too. I told him that was absolutely ridiculous, and totally not fair. I went around the apartment and started collecting my belongings, and found a notebook that I had written in sitting on the kitchen table. It was a real-life written account of this blog! Some girls were trying to talk to me, and then ND from work came in and told me it was time to go back to the amusement park. That was it.
I was going to a party at DJ's house, and it was his going away to Cleveland party. SL was with me. We drove over to DJ's parents' house, where he was staying, and it was in the woods. It was a humongous house, surrounded by trees. We parked on this lane, and walked in. The party was wonderful, everyone I knew was there, and we all had a great time. SUCH a good time in fact that we decided to have a second party the next night. For some reason, this next party was a going away party for NB also. So the next night SL and I headed out there, and when we arrived, I had him go up to the door to make sure people were there because I didn't want to be the first to go in. An hour later I woke up in the car, and realised that SL had never come back. I walked up to the garage and went into the house through the side door. SL was in there, flirting with TD and her friend MN. I started yelling at him, and noticed that my awesome outfit was turning stupid-looking with every word that came out of my mouth. I had been wearing my cool black shirt, jeans, and these nifty spike-heel boots, but as I spoke, my jeans turned into running shorts, and my spike heeled boots turned into a nasty green color and instead of pantyhose underneath I was wearing ugly green socks. So I stopped yelling, and walked away, and went to sit by NB, SB, and DJ, who were all doing coke in the living room. I sat on DJ's lap, because I was skinny in the dream, and he had coke all over his face. He kept snorting out and getting his used coke on me, and I was getting irritated. SL walked up the stairs when DJ's face was all close to mine, and got mad. He stormed out, and I didn't follow him. That was it.
****
I was at an amusement park in the woods, with my new boyfriend Chuck, the asian, and his brother Charlie and some girl. We were all having a wonderful time, and then it started to rain. We decided to go back to Chuck's apartment, and they went in their car and I went in mine. We were driving down 270, and they passed me right before I got stuck in traffic caused by an accident. I ended up back at their complex about 45 minutes later. I was looking all over for Chuck, and I couldn't find him. Their apartment complex looked more like a commune than a community. I was wandering around all over, and I finally found Charlie. I asked him where Chuck was, and he said "Who is Chuck?" and I was like "My boyfriend, the asian!" and he said that his name was Jason, not Chuck. Then I remembered it was actually Jason. So Charlie gave me his number, and I tried calling him, and kept wandering. I finally ended up at his apartment, where I found him making out with this girl who looked like a girl I went to high school with. I yelled at Jason why would he do that when we just started dating, and he said that although I had the better personality, was prettier, and better in bed, he chose her because she was ugly and boring and needed love too. I told him that was absolutely ridiculous, and totally not fair. I went around the apartment and started collecting my belongings, and found a notebook that I had written in sitting on the kitchen table. It was a real-life written account of this blog! Some girls were trying to talk to me, and then ND from work came in and told me it was time to go back to the amusement park. That was it.
14 July 2006
Oh yeah, and...
I forgot to mention that my new favorite color combinations are brown and pink and brown and teal/aqua/turquoise.
Thanks.
Thanks.
A Real-Life Freak
Lots of freaks in the world, lots and lots. Well, I met one last night that really blew me away. She was in her... 40's I would say, nice looking, good hygiene, neat hair, etc. She liked my dad-fucking shirt, seemed nice enough, and mentioned that she was a bartender. Then, it happened. There is this strange kind of girl, the "Bride of Darkness" as she calls herself, who is like Goth-heavy-metal-punkish. Black lips, eyes, tattered shirts, etc. Whatever, it's a style I used to promote myself, back in the day. She's a friendly girl, talks too much for my liking, but nonetheless she isn't offish or bitchy or anything. She sings strange songs, such as "Let the Bodies Hit the Floor" and some other rahr-rahr-grahrahr songs. For a chick, she does alright! I could never do that! Anyway, she gets up to sing one of her blander songs, and the "nice" bartender lady yells "FREAK!" And from that moment on, everytime the music stopped playing, or there was a pause in noise, this woman could be heard yelling "FREAK!" as loud as she could. What a fucking cunt. It upset the Bride of Darkness so much that she and her friends left. The thing that disappointed me was that this woman was clearly old enough to be their mother, and supposedly a bartender, so she should not only be mature enough to deal with people who look weird, but she should be used to it! All kinds of crazies go into bars! Not to mention I was also disappointed that my friend Geese (ghee-z) condoned her behavior, saying there was "a good reason". I can't think of one good reason why someone should be allowed to call other people names, but whatever.
Also at Eldo's last night was a bitch and her closeted boyfriend. She reminded me so much of LF that used to work with me, it was scary. When I first saw her I thought it was her even. But anyway, this girl was a bitch, hardcore. When SL was singing "Folsom Prison Blues", she said, loudly enough for me to hear, that Dave (her gay boyfriend) was so much better than SL. I almost went over to punch her in her ugly face right then. After that, she made some comment about smoking in Columbus, and how it's not allowed indoors, and I smart-assedly replied that I wasn't smoking, the cigarette was, and somehow this warranted a blow job mouth/hand motion from her. You know, where you poke your cheek with your tongue and move your fist in and out. Whatever. Cunts. Later on in the night she was nice to me, while we were waiting for the bathroom, but I pretended to be nice just because I didn't want to have to take a bitch down.
GMc is back from Canada, FINALLY! He was there for nine loooooong weeks. It felt like a million years. But at least he has everything sorted out now, mostly. It was so awesome to see him last night! We did three shots, a kamikaze, a Jaeger bomb (it was humongous!) and an apple pucker that was supposed be for Slim, but he changed his mind. I was d. r. u. n. k. I had 3 Mike Lights, 3 shots, and 2 pitchers. I couldn't believe I drank that much. I thought I was going to die on the way home, everything was spinning. We went to Taco Bell and I was starving, but when we were driving home we were behind this stanky truck and I swear I almost yakked right there in the car. Needless to say, I lost my appetite, and when we got home I hung myself over the toiley until I finally made myself barf so I wouldn't die of dizziness. It was alright. But I didn't eat my Taco Bell. It's for lunch today. *grin* I haven't been that drunk in soooooo long. Years I think. Because the last time I got so drunk, it was on liquor, and if I get drunk drunk on liquor, I just pass out/black out. When I get drunk on beer, it's puke city for me. But that's okay, I am getting tired of drinking. Once or twice a week is even too much for me anymore. I'm getting old.
My new favorite song is "Black Horse and the Cherry Tree" by KT Tunstall. I still can't sing it at karaoke though. Damnit.
Also at Eldo's last night was a bitch and her closeted boyfriend. She reminded me so much of LF that used to work with me, it was scary. When I first saw her I thought it was her even. But anyway, this girl was a bitch, hardcore. When SL was singing "Folsom Prison Blues", she said, loudly enough for me to hear, that Dave (her gay boyfriend) was so much better than SL. I almost went over to punch her in her ugly face right then. After that, she made some comment about smoking in Columbus, and how it's not allowed indoors, and I smart-assedly replied that I wasn't smoking, the cigarette was, and somehow this warranted a blow job mouth/hand motion from her. You know, where you poke your cheek with your tongue and move your fist in and out. Whatever. Cunts. Later on in the night she was nice to me, while we were waiting for the bathroom, but I pretended to be nice just because I didn't want to have to take a bitch down.
GMc is back from Canada, FINALLY! He was there for nine loooooong weeks. It felt like a million years. But at least he has everything sorted out now, mostly. It was so awesome to see him last night! We did three shots, a kamikaze, a Jaeger bomb (it was humongous!) and an apple pucker that was supposed be for Slim, but he changed his mind. I was d. r. u. n. k. I had 3 Mike Lights, 3 shots, and 2 pitchers. I couldn't believe I drank that much. I thought I was going to die on the way home, everything was spinning. We went to Taco Bell and I was starving, but when we were driving home we were behind this stanky truck and I swear I almost yakked right there in the car. Needless to say, I lost my appetite, and when we got home I hung myself over the toiley until I finally made myself barf so I wouldn't die of dizziness. It was alright. But I didn't eat my Taco Bell. It's for lunch today. *grin* I haven't been that drunk in soooooo long. Years I think. Because the last time I got so drunk, it was on liquor, and if I get drunk drunk on liquor, I just pass out/black out. When I get drunk on beer, it's puke city for me. But that's okay, I am getting tired of drinking. Once or twice a week is even too much for me anymore. I'm getting old.
My new favorite song is "Black Horse and the Cherry Tree" by KT Tunstall. I still can't sing it at karaoke though. Damnit.
11 July 2006
The Number One Most Fucked Up Dream Ever
Even for me.
I dreamt that I was on a bus with some former classmates of mine, and we were headed to an amusement park. We lived in England, or some other very green hilly country where it is foggy all the time. We arrived at the park, and it was closed, so we went to a TV studio where a show was being taped, and got free tickets to sit and watch it. The show was like American Idol, but it was for mothers and daughters. The pair we saw was wonderful, and they beat out all three other pairs that day. Somehow, I got hired to work there. I was walking down the hall trying to find a bathroom and this guy stopped me and asked if I could sing. I said yes, so he asked me to be a stand-in judge. Then, I was hired. I went home from there, to my house which looked like an old-fashioned house, it was the tall skinny kind, in a neighborhood that reminded me of Harvard Square. My house was attached to a church, incidentally called St. Mary Magdalene. I walked in, and realized that I was in a lot of pain. My stomach hurt and my back hurt, so I laid down on the couch and began to watch some talk shows. I couldn't bear the pain after awhile, so I called SL to come home and help me, because I thought I might have to go to the hospital. When he got home, I was bleeding from my nether-regions, and writhing in pain. He stuck his hand up inside me, and pulled out a little sac filled with three babies. One of them wasn't actually a baby, it was more like a pouch with a bone and a vein inside, and the other two were joined at the head. Only one baby was normal, other than the half-baby attached to it. That baby wasn't completely developed, it was just a head with a torso and little shrunken arms and legs, no ears or hair or anything. The babies were all wearing pink bows on their skulls though. They came out of the sac dry, and I tried to wrap them up so SL could put them back inside me. I couldn't get the sac to stay closed though. I called my mom to ask her what I should do, but when she answered the phone I could hear her talking to my dad about what to lecture me on for not being at work in the middle of the day. She finally said hello and I replied "I'm pregnant with triplets" and her response to that was "well, its likely that only one of them will survive, maybe two if you're lucky." I told her the situation, and she said I should just leave them out and put them in a bowl of water or in the bathtub so that they didn't shrivel up. Then we got to talking about the cats, and my little ex-step-sister-in-law was in my house, and she had a kitten named Isabella. As I was hanging up, she took the kittens and walked out the door. I didn't follow her. After that, I put the babies in a bowl on the kitchen table, and then went and took a shower and got dressed. SL was still home, and I noticed that he looked like he was crying. I asked him why, and he said that he had just gotten fired because they didn't want to keep him around until New Year's. I asked if he had called to tell his work what happened, and he said he did, and had talked to Gary. Gary said they would figure something out, but then Emily called back and told SL that he was fired. I told SL he should call Gary directly because Emily was probably lying. He went off to call Gary, and I went outside. Right out the door, a priest was giving a tour of the church grounds, and was telling the story of Ben Pritchard and Kyle Quigley and how they single-handedly brought down the church garage. I remembered when that happened (this was not in real life, btw) and so I helped the priest tell the story. The last thing that I remember is walking down the street looking very trendy.
I dreamt that I was on a bus with some former classmates of mine, and we were headed to an amusement park. We lived in England, or some other very green hilly country where it is foggy all the time. We arrived at the park, and it was closed, so we went to a TV studio where a show was being taped, and got free tickets to sit and watch it. The show was like American Idol, but it was for mothers and daughters. The pair we saw was wonderful, and they beat out all three other pairs that day. Somehow, I got hired to work there. I was walking down the hall trying to find a bathroom and this guy stopped me and asked if I could sing. I said yes, so he asked me to be a stand-in judge. Then, I was hired. I went home from there, to my house which looked like an old-fashioned house, it was the tall skinny kind, in a neighborhood that reminded me of Harvard Square. My house was attached to a church, incidentally called St. Mary Magdalene. I walked in, and realized that I was in a lot of pain. My stomach hurt and my back hurt, so I laid down on the couch and began to watch some talk shows. I couldn't bear the pain after awhile, so I called SL to come home and help me, because I thought I might have to go to the hospital. When he got home, I was bleeding from my nether-regions, and writhing in pain. He stuck his hand up inside me, and pulled out a little sac filled with three babies. One of them wasn't actually a baby, it was more like a pouch with a bone and a vein inside, and the other two were joined at the head. Only one baby was normal, other than the half-baby attached to it. That baby wasn't completely developed, it was just a head with a torso and little shrunken arms and legs, no ears or hair or anything. The babies were all wearing pink bows on their skulls though. They came out of the sac dry, and I tried to wrap them up so SL could put them back inside me. I couldn't get the sac to stay closed though. I called my mom to ask her what I should do, but when she answered the phone I could hear her talking to my dad about what to lecture me on for not being at work in the middle of the day. She finally said hello and I replied "I'm pregnant with triplets" and her response to that was "well, its likely that only one of them will survive, maybe two if you're lucky." I told her the situation, and she said I should just leave them out and put them in a bowl of water or in the bathtub so that they didn't shrivel up. Then we got to talking about the cats, and my little ex-step-sister-in-law was in my house, and she had a kitten named Isabella. As I was hanging up, she took the kittens and walked out the door. I didn't follow her. After that, I put the babies in a bowl on the kitchen table, and then went and took a shower and got dressed. SL was still home, and I noticed that he looked like he was crying. I asked him why, and he said that he had just gotten fired because they didn't want to keep him around until New Year's. I asked if he had called to tell his work what happened, and he said he did, and had talked to Gary. Gary said they would figure something out, but then Emily called back and told SL that he was fired. I told SL he should call Gary directly because Emily was probably lying. He went off to call Gary, and I went outside. Right out the door, a priest was giving a tour of the church grounds, and was telling the story of Ben Pritchard and Kyle Quigley and how they single-handedly brought down the church garage. I remembered when that happened (this was not in real life, btw) and so I helped the priest tell the story. The last thing that I remember is walking down the street looking very trendy.
10 July 2006
La plupart de week-end de blah de toute l'heure.
Thursday we went to Eldo's for karaoke, which we haven't done in forever. It was a really fun time, I drank Harpoon, and lots of people were there. TomCat was there, Moose, GG, etc. We met a guy from Morristown New Jersey, and he was really nice. He talked to GG about the Seeing Eye Dog school. The Sir was there too, and we haven't seen him in forever. Overall, a great night.
Friday was fun too. GG and SL and I went to Jersey Mike's for dinner. GG and SL got giant sized subs, and I got a regular, and I barely finished mine... but they ate their whole subs! The HUGE ones! I was not surprised that SL could, but I didn't think GG would be able to. She's eaten a whole giant sub before, but it was a smaller type sandwich, not the Club Supreme with like five meats and cheese and bacon and toppings and all that. Whoo. After dinner we headed back to my house, and just chilled. GG finally got to see the upstairs of my apartment, and she thought it was cool, I think. The only bad thing that happened on Friday was that Mickey farted on GG's lap and made her throat feel funny- SL and I are used to it so we didn't even notice, but it was toxic to her! After we dropped GG off at home, SL and I went to Kroger in Graceland to buy meat and cat litter and some other stuff. I love that Kroger, it's so nice and clean and fancy.
Saturday I made omlettes for breakfast, and they were huge. I filled them with cheese, tomatoes, and green onions, and put fresh mushrooms in SL's (but not mine!) I was quite impressed with myself. We were going to go to Big Lots to buy some stepping stones to put on the patio, but SL mentioned that he had to pay his health insurance and I felt guilty for wanting to buy stones, so we didn't go. I napped all day and I don't know what SL did. He made steaks for dinner, and they were delicious, if a bit overdone. The flavor was awesome though. I made fries, green beans, and sauteed mushrooms/onions/garlic to go with it. Before the steaks we went to the pool, and it was so cold! It was also super crowded, which I hate. Kids were bumping into us and stuff, and it was not that fun. We only stayed an hour. While we were eating, Douger and his kid came over. His kid is so cute! I don't remember how old he is though, but he is a nice kid. We watched a movie on Saturday night... it was... Dark Water. Not too bad, not too great, but it was alright. I thought it was going to be scarier, but it was just mildly scary.
Sunday I was going to make blueberry pancakes for breakfast, but then I realized we didn't have any eggs. The next plan was to make blueberry biscuits, but then I opened the milk and almost yakked because it was so sour. And full. Needless to say, I was disappointed. I made pierogies instead, and then SL went to work. I watched the new Planet of the Apes, and it was great. I wouldn't pay money to see it, but it was on FX, so that was cool. I thought it was going to be like the original, which I love, but it wasn't really anything like it. But I did like the new one. I masturbated like 150 times, took a shower, and then went to Payless to buy some new sandals. They didn't have the hippie kind like I had before, so I got some Airwalk flops that rock. They are like slippers kind of, because they don't have that stupid stick to put between my toes. I hate that stick. After Payless I headed over to Kroger and did some MAJOR shopping, since our cupboards were literally bare, and spent $183.68. I was very proud of myself. I rearranged all the cupboards and the fridge and the freezer, and our shelving once again looks like a grocery store. Yippy! SL came home around eight-fifteen, and I was making Crunchwraps for dinner... except they didn't really work out. I had all the right ingredients, but the tortillas would not wrap around the tostadas. It kinda sucked, but it tasted good anyway, so that was okay. After dinner we went to Eldo's for karaoke, and it was an alright time. I got kinda drunk, but not really, and it was kind of annoying. We had fun though, and we won a t-shirt and a hat. We got White Castle on the way home, and I will just say that their garlic cheeseburgers are super garlicky. Woah.
So, this thing has been happening to me. I'm pretty much completely miserable, and I know it's ruining SL's life. He's not happy anymore, and it's my fault. But I can't get out of this funk, feeling like a failure and a terrible person and all that. I blame it all on MMA, but I suppose I should blame myself for marrying him in the first place. I just wish I could be happy.
SL really hurt my feelings last night, because I felt like he didn't care at all about what I was trying to tell him. I was thinking about how I would like to move to Massachusettes, because I'm always so happy when I go there. I've always visited during a time of strife in my world, and going to Salem really makes me at peace with things. SL said I was crazy, that's not true, and it's just because I'm on vacation. I think he's wrong. I think I'm supposed to be there at some point in my life. Maybe I used to live there in a different life or something, I don't know. When I said that he said there is no such thing as reincarnation. Basically he kept putting down every single thing I had to say, so I just went to sleep because I didn't feel like having to defend my beliefs at three o'clock in the morning. I don't know what to do about that. If his beliefs are so different from mine, this relationship will never last and we will never be able to raise children together. I feel kind of betrayed because he was being so close-minded, and because suddenly he has all these strong religious feelings that I never knew about before. I always thought we were on the same page, or at least in the same chapter, but it seems that I was mistaken.
Friday was fun too. GG and SL and I went to Jersey Mike's for dinner. GG and SL got giant sized subs, and I got a regular, and I barely finished mine... but they ate their whole subs! The HUGE ones! I was not surprised that SL could, but I didn't think GG would be able to. She's eaten a whole giant sub before, but it was a smaller type sandwich, not the Club Supreme with like five meats and cheese and bacon and toppings and all that. Whoo. After dinner we headed back to my house, and just chilled. GG finally got to see the upstairs of my apartment, and she thought it was cool, I think. The only bad thing that happened on Friday was that Mickey farted on GG's lap and made her throat feel funny- SL and I are used to it so we didn't even notice, but it was toxic to her! After we dropped GG off at home, SL and I went to Kroger in Graceland to buy meat and cat litter and some other stuff. I love that Kroger, it's so nice and clean and fancy.
Saturday I made omlettes for breakfast, and they were huge. I filled them with cheese, tomatoes, and green onions, and put fresh mushrooms in SL's (but not mine!) I was quite impressed with myself. We were going to go to Big Lots to buy some stepping stones to put on the patio, but SL mentioned that he had to pay his health insurance and I felt guilty for wanting to buy stones, so we didn't go. I napped all day and I don't know what SL did. He made steaks for dinner, and they were delicious, if a bit overdone. The flavor was awesome though. I made fries, green beans, and sauteed mushrooms/onions/garlic to go with it. Before the steaks we went to the pool, and it was so cold! It was also super crowded, which I hate. Kids were bumping into us and stuff, and it was not that fun. We only stayed an hour. While we were eating, Douger and his kid came over. His kid is so cute! I don't remember how old he is though, but he is a nice kid. We watched a movie on Saturday night... it was... Dark Water. Not too bad, not too great, but it was alright. I thought it was going to be scarier, but it was just mildly scary.
Sunday I was going to make blueberry pancakes for breakfast, but then I realized we didn't have any eggs. The next plan was to make blueberry biscuits, but then I opened the milk and almost yakked because it was so sour. And full. Needless to say, I was disappointed. I made pierogies instead, and then SL went to work. I watched the new Planet of the Apes, and it was great. I wouldn't pay money to see it, but it was on FX, so that was cool. I thought it was going to be like the original, which I love, but it wasn't really anything like it. But I did like the new one. I masturbated like 150 times, took a shower, and then went to Payless to buy some new sandals. They didn't have the hippie kind like I had before, so I got some Airwalk flops that rock. They are like slippers kind of, because they don't have that stupid stick to put between my toes. I hate that stick. After Payless I headed over to Kroger and did some MAJOR shopping, since our cupboards were literally bare, and spent $183.68. I was very proud of myself. I rearranged all the cupboards and the fridge and the freezer, and our shelving once again looks like a grocery store. Yippy! SL came home around eight-fifteen, and I was making Crunchwraps for dinner... except they didn't really work out. I had all the right ingredients, but the tortillas would not wrap around the tostadas. It kinda sucked, but it tasted good anyway, so that was okay. After dinner we went to Eldo's for karaoke, and it was an alright time. I got kinda drunk, but not really, and it was kind of annoying. We had fun though, and we won a t-shirt and a hat. We got White Castle on the way home, and I will just say that their garlic cheeseburgers are super garlicky. Woah.
So, this thing has been happening to me. I'm pretty much completely miserable, and I know it's ruining SL's life. He's not happy anymore, and it's my fault. But I can't get out of this funk, feeling like a failure and a terrible person and all that. I blame it all on MMA, but I suppose I should blame myself for marrying him in the first place. I just wish I could be happy.
SL really hurt my feelings last night, because I felt like he didn't care at all about what I was trying to tell him. I was thinking about how I would like to move to Massachusettes, because I'm always so happy when I go there. I've always visited during a time of strife in my world, and going to Salem really makes me at peace with things. SL said I was crazy, that's not true, and it's just because I'm on vacation. I think he's wrong. I think I'm supposed to be there at some point in my life. Maybe I used to live there in a different life or something, I don't know. When I said that he said there is no such thing as reincarnation. Basically he kept putting down every single thing I had to say, so I just went to sleep because I didn't feel like having to defend my beliefs at three o'clock in the morning. I don't know what to do about that. If his beliefs are so different from mine, this relationship will never last and we will never be able to raise children together. I feel kind of betrayed because he was being so close-minded, and because suddenly he has all these strong religious feelings that I never knew about before. I always thought we were on the same page, or at least in the same chapter, but it seems that I was mistaken.
07 July 2006
Freak on a Leash
It's funny when you find out who is into BDSM. I'm highly amused and yet not surprised at all. Way to go. You know who you are.
Anyway, there is a song on the radio called "Keg in the Closet" by Kenny Chesney (yay) and I can't concentrate so I will say that last night karaoke FUCKING rocked, I even stopped in at Zuey's after SL and I walked GG home, and it was just wonderful. I had such a happy time last night. Oh yes.
Now, a sad song because there is far too much joy happening.
Wake Up Older
~Julie Roberts~
Anyway, there is a song on the radio called "Keg in the Closet" by Kenny Chesney (yay) and I can't concentrate so I will say that last night karaoke FUCKING rocked, I even stopped in at Zuey's after SL and I walked GG home, and it was just wonderful. I had such a happy time last night. Oh yes.
Now, a sad song because there is far too much joy happening.
Wake Up Older
~Julie Roberts~
Slept in my makeup
Didn't get my teeth brushed
I crashed on the couch
And now my mouth tastes like yesterday's news
Well hello Jim Beam
Oh the places you've seen
If only you could talk
You'd tell me why he walked out on me and you
Oh the things lovers do when it's over
Oh the things lovers do when it's done
Find a cool bottle or a warm shoulder
Wake up older
And try to move on
I drove around last night
Thinkin' 'bout our last fight
I cruised by your house
And all the lights were out and you were gone
So I found me a stranger
With his comforting danger
But I thought about you
The whole time we were gettin' it on
Oh the things lovers do when it's over
Oh the things lovers do when it's done
Find a cool bottle or a warm shoulder
Wake up older
And try to move on
Find a cool bottle or a warm shoulder
Wake up older
Wake up older
Slept in my makeup
Didn't get my teeth brushed
I crashed on the couch and now my mouth tastes like
Yesterday's news
06 July 2006
God Bless {insert country here}
What an un-eventful weekend. Thank god.
Friday was fairly wonderful, SL and I went to the Reds v. Indians game (like some sort of Cherokee battle!) in Cincinnati. It was a great game, even though the stupid Reds won. They were sneaky though, because they played like shit the whole game until the bottom of the ninth when some dude hit a Grand Slam. Oh man, I was pissed. But the guys who work in our Cincinnati and Kentucky offices were thrilled. Sheesh. After the game DD and TD wanted us to go to this bar, Pachinkos or something, in Kentucky (Cincinnati is on the border of OH/KY) and so we drove over there, but oh my god, it was ghetto around this very nice area. The bar looked packed and we weren't much in the mood for spending more than $2.25 on a beer, so we drove back to Ohio. There is an IHOP in Cincinnati, so we went there. IHOP always shows commercials in Columbus, but the closest one is either Cincinnati or Findlay, and that makes me sad. I got a funnell cake meal and so did SL. It was wonderful!! We had so much fun. The title company that works with my company paid for the whole game and everything, so including parking and IHOP and gasoline, we spent just over $50.00 and got to sit/hang out in the awesome party box. What a great night. SL was sickly when we came home and I had to go to CVS at 3am to get him some tummy medication. I couldn't sleep then because I was worried about him being sick, so I didn't even fall asleep until about 6am. That sucked.
Saturday I woke up around 11am, because I didn't want to sleep until two or whatever just from being up so late. I worked on the computer for a little while, then I took SL's card and went to run a few errands and do some shopping. I paid CheckSmart, went to Sav-a-Lot to get some marinade and toilet paper, and went to Big Lots to get some goggles. At Big Lots they were having a HUGE sale on everything, so I also bought two tiki torches and some fuel. Then I headed over to Nazareth and bought gyros for SL and myself for lunch. When I got home, SL had been on the computer the whole time I was gone, and didn't clean up the dishes or anything, and I was a little irritated because he never does anything on his own. I got over it, and watched this great special on the History Channel about Ben Franklin. Then I took a nap. After that we headed over to Y and J's new (well, new to me, they moved in in March) apartment for a small cookout. J doesn't actually live there I found out, because they are both still working on their divorces. That's cool. Y cut all her hair off and it looks so awesome. I'm slightly envious because when I cut my hair short two years ago, her style was what I wanted but I ended up with mushroom-butt hair. Oh well. Her kids are getting so big, especially the baby! I couldn't believe it. I'm glad to see she's happy. SL tried to start some shit with me when we were at Kroger getting beer and pop, but I just ignored him and suggested he stop trying to pick a fight just because we haven't fought in so long. He was pouty and being kinda bratty, but he got over it.
Sunday SL had to work 2-10, which sucked. I cleaned the kitchen again and picked up around the house. If I do say so myself, it looks great. I also made homemade asian chicken wings for our party on Monday. Other than that, I basically relaxed, which was for about one hour out of eight. Douger came over and brought 17 beers for me, which I loved, and I got to meet his kid, who is cute. I picked SL up at 10pm and we went to get some Taco Bell. We didn't go to karaoke because he got home so late.
Monday I had to work, whatever hours I chose because everyone else was off. I came in from 10am to 7pm, and cleaned out our filing cabinets of old files to be shredded. Then I had to catalog them. That was fun, except for the big thunderstorm that knocked out the power for a second. I like being in the office alone because I can actually get stuff done! After work SL and I went over to J1&J2's house for a small party. Turns out that everyone had been over early in the day, but they still had a ton of food left over. I brought my chicken wings, SL loved them and so did J1's roommate, B. He's a cool guy, I may have mentioned him a few months ago. We watched "The Closer" which was an alright show. Not as good as SVU!! Nothing compares!! And then watched (stupid) Red, White & Boom on TV. That was okay. We basically just hung out and drank and talked and watched the kids run ragged and then went home. When we got home we watched Dirty Pretty Things, with my favorite actress Audrey Tautou, and it was pretty good. I couldn't finish it though, because I was so tired.
Tuesday the fourth we chilled in the morning, I made pancakes, and then we finished watching the movie. Around 4pm we went over to my parents' house for a cook out. My mom made burgers (yay!) and chicken (not yay but I ate some anyway) and beans and potato salad and everything. It was awesome. We watched Lifetime movies while my dad and SL did some shit on the computer. I have no clue. Later my mom gave us some gifts they bought in Myrtle Beach for us, a t-shirt for SL and 2 t-shirts for me plus a pair of cute flip-flop earrings and a cat business card holder. Yay. We watched a couple of specials on TV, like Macy's 4th of July and a Capitol Fourth, the NYC one sucked but the Capitol one was great. Except for Elmo, I hate that guy. SL and I headed to Brewstir's around 10:30pm, and it was an alright time there. I won one game of trivia, but pathetically lost the rest. SL did alright, and so did The Sir. Ace and some guy Sancho were leading the board the whole time. I sang America-themed songs, and just for future reference, don't ever let me sing "Courtesy of the Red, White and Blue" by Toby Keith EVER EVER EVER again. Seriously. I even put it up a half and it was still too low. No thanks. We didn't get drunk, and came home, and it was all fine.
Yesterday was uneventful as well, work was fine, and blah blah. SL pissed me off because he let the cat boxes go for four days, and because he didn't do any of the dishes. Well, I take that back, he did load about 1/4 of the dishes into the dishwasher, but didn't finish. I just don't understand why I always do everything and he doesn't do anything until I get pissed off at him for not doing it after I asked him to days ago. I guess I just have to get used to him acting like he still lives with his mother, I don't know. I went to bed and he played on the computer, and he didn't even come to sleep until after 3am. Whatever.
Today I have to go get my busted blood vessel in my nose coterized (sp?) and I am not looking forward to it. Maybe they won't do it today and just give me an evaluation... not sure.
Friday was fairly wonderful, SL and I went to the Reds v. Indians game (like some sort of Cherokee battle!) in Cincinnati. It was a great game, even though the stupid Reds won. They were sneaky though, because they played like shit the whole game until the bottom of the ninth when some dude hit a Grand Slam. Oh man, I was pissed. But the guys who work in our Cincinnati and Kentucky offices were thrilled. Sheesh. After the game DD and TD wanted us to go to this bar, Pachinkos or something, in Kentucky (Cincinnati is on the border of OH/KY) and so we drove over there, but oh my god, it was ghetto around this very nice area. The bar looked packed and we weren't much in the mood for spending more than $2.25 on a beer, so we drove back to Ohio. There is an IHOP in Cincinnati, so we went there. IHOP always shows commercials in Columbus, but the closest one is either Cincinnati or Findlay, and that makes me sad. I got a funnell cake meal and so did SL. It was wonderful!! We had so much fun. The title company that works with my company paid for the whole game and everything, so including parking and IHOP and gasoline, we spent just over $50.00 and got to sit/hang out in the awesome party box. What a great night. SL was sickly when we came home and I had to go to CVS at 3am to get him some tummy medication. I couldn't sleep then because I was worried about him being sick, so I didn't even fall asleep until about 6am. That sucked.
Saturday I woke up around 11am, because I didn't want to sleep until two or whatever just from being up so late. I worked on the computer for a little while, then I took SL's card and went to run a few errands and do some shopping. I paid CheckSmart, went to Sav-a-Lot to get some marinade and toilet paper, and went to Big Lots to get some goggles. At Big Lots they were having a HUGE sale on everything, so I also bought two tiki torches and some fuel. Then I headed over to Nazareth and bought gyros for SL and myself for lunch. When I got home, SL had been on the computer the whole time I was gone, and didn't clean up the dishes or anything, and I was a little irritated because he never does anything on his own. I got over it, and watched this great special on the History Channel about Ben Franklin. Then I took a nap. After that we headed over to Y and J's new (well, new to me, they moved in in March) apartment for a small cookout. J doesn't actually live there I found out, because they are both still working on their divorces. That's cool. Y cut all her hair off and it looks so awesome. I'm slightly envious because when I cut my hair short two years ago, her style was what I wanted but I ended up with mushroom-butt hair. Oh well. Her kids are getting so big, especially the baby! I couldn't believe it. I'm glad to see she's happy. SL tried to start some shit with me when we were at Kroger getting beer and pop, but I just ignored him and suggested he stop trying to pick a fight just because we haven't fought in so long. He was pouty and being kinda bratty, but he got over it.
Sunday SL had to work 2-10, which sucked. I cleaned the kitchen again and picked up around the house. If I do say so myself, it looks great. I also made homemade asian chicken wings for our party on Monday. Other than that, I basically relaxed, which was for about one hour out of eight. Douger came over and brought 17 beers for me, which I loved, and I got to meet his kid, who is cute. I picked SL up at 10pm and we went to get some Taco Bell. We didn't go to karaoke because he got home so late.
Monday I had to work, whatever hours I chose because everyone else was off. I came in from 10am to 7pm, and cleaned out our filing cabinets of old files to be shredded. Then I had to catalog them. That was fun, except for the big thunderstorm that knocked out the power for a second. I like being in the office alone because I can actually get stuff done! After work SL and I went over to J1&J2's house for a small party. Turns out that everyone had been over early in the day, but they still had a ton of food left over. I brought my chicken wings, SL loved them and so did J1's roommate, B. He's a cool guy, I may have mentioned him a few months ago. We watched "The Closer" which was an alright show. Not as good as SVU!! Nothing compares!! And then watched (stupid) Red, White & Boom on TV. That was okay. We basically just hung out and drank and talked and watched the kids run ragged and then went home. When we got home we watched Dirty Pretty Things, with my favorite actress Audrey Tautou, and it was pretty good. I couldn't finish it though, because I was so tired.
Tuesday the fourth we chilled in the morning, I made pancakes, and then we finished watching the movie. Around 4pm we went over to my parents' house for a cook out. My mom made burgers (yay!) and chicken (not yay but I ate some anyway) and beans and potato salad and everything. It was awesome. We watched Lifetime movies while my dad and SL did some shit on the computer. I have no clue. Later my mom gave us some gifts they bought in Myrtle Beach for us, a t-shirt for SL and 2 t-shirts for me plus a pair of cute flip-flop earrings and a cat business card holder. Yay. We watched a couple of specials on TV, like Macy's 4th of July and a Capitol Fourth, the NYC one sucked but the Capitol one was great. Except for Elmo, I hate that guy. SL and I headed to Brewstir's around 10:30pm, and it was an alright time there. I won one game of trivia, but pathetically lost the rest. SL did alright, and so did The Sir. Ace and some guy Sancho were leading the board the whole time. I sang America-themed songs, and just for future reference, don't ever let me sing "Courtesy of the Red, White and Blue" by Toby Keith EVER EVER EVER again. Seriously. I even put it up a half and it was still too low. No thanks. We didn't get drunk, and came home, and it was all fine.
Yesterday was uneventful as well, work was fine, and blah blah. SL pissed me off because he let the cat boxes go for four days, and because he didn't do any of the dishes. Well, I take that back, he did load about 1/4 of the dishes into the dishwasher, but didn't finish. I just don't understand why I always do everything and he doesn't do anything until I get pissed off at him for not doing it after I asked him to days ago. I guess I just have to get used to him acting like he still lives with his mother, I don't know. I went to bed and he played on the computer, and he didn't even come to sleep until after 3am. Whatever.
Today I have to go get my busted blood vessel in my nose coterized (sp?) and I am not looking forward to it. Maybe they won't do it today and just give me an evaluation... not sure.
04 July 2006
Flash Update
Not as in Java but as in Gordon. Ha.
I haven't posted a real entry in so long that there is no way I can tell you everything that has happened. So, I will give you a run down.
Lots of karaoke at Brewstir's on Weber, no karaoke anywhere else. We had to cut down how much we were spending and drinking. NB moved to Texas, that made me sad. I will miss him a lot. I found out my dead ex isn't dead, that fucked me up in the head. I realised that when I'm pissed or upset or whatever, I want beer, but not to get rid of the pain. Just to take the edge off. We drank some really bad beer, called DAB, from Germany. Yuck. It's only good when you're high, otherwise it tastes like sewage. The kittens got their shots. SL and I met this guy, DF, who gave us cocaine and it was terrible and I did some and I never EVER want to do it again. He was a nice guy though and had a cool dog named Vanilla. I saw Scarface for the first time ever, loved it, saw Casino, did not like it so much. Also saw Date Movie, good movie, not as funny as I thought it would be though. We got a free 30 day Blockbuster trial. I shaved down my Sprint plan because I felt like I was being ass raped for stupid shit. Now I only have unlimited txt msg and equipment protection. Fuck them and their $70 a month. No thanks. I figured out how to fix my money situation, thanks to my boss. It involves me not getting a part-time job, thank god. Even though I already got one, I haven't started yet. But anyway. Things are going a little better, I'm still messed up in my head from this shit that happened awhile ago, and on top of that VS pretty much came back from the dead, so... yeah.
Late.
I haven't posted a real entry in so long that there is no way I can tell you everything that has happened. So, I will give you a run down.
Lots of karaoke at Brewstir's on Weber, no karaoke anywhere else. We had to cut down how much we were spending and drinking. NB moved to Texas, that made me sad. I will miss him a lot. I found out my dead ex isn't dead, that fucked me up in the head. I realised that when I'm pissed or upset or whatever, I want beer, but not to get rid of the pain. Just to take the edge off. We drank some really bad beer, called DAB, from Germany. Yuck. It's only good when you're high, otherwise it tastes like sewage. The kittens got their shots. SL and I met this guy, DF, who gave us cocaine and it was terrible and I did some and I never EVER want to do it again. He was a nice guy though and had a cool dog named Vanilla. I saw Scarface for the first time ever, loved it, saw Casino, did not like it so much. Also saw Date Movie, good movie, not as funny as I thought it would be though. We got a free 30 day Blockbuster trial. I shaved down my Sprint plan because I felt like I was being ass raped for stupid shit. Now I only have unlimited txt msg and equipment protection. Fuck them and their $70 a month. No thanks. I figured out how to fix my money situation, thanks to my boss. It involves me not getting a part-time job, thank god. Even though I already got one, I haven't started yet. But anyway. Things are going a little better, I'm still messed up in my head from this shit that happened awhile ago, and on top of that VS pretty much came back from the dead, so... yeah.
Late.
Descriptive
Warning: Super Descriptive Dream
I went to a party last Saturday night (got real drunk, got in a fight, uh-huh, it ain't no big thing) at my friend RE(D)B's house, where she lived with her husband, in Findlay. There were a lot of people there, including a girl Mary from high school, and a young John Goodman, and ND from work, along with some folks I didn't know. It was a very good time, John Goodman played with the band and their house was huge so it wasn't crowded. I was feeling a little bit irritated because I was on the rag though. Then I met this boy, Clint. He looks like the Mac guy from the Apple Commercials. I guess I had met him before, and vaguely remembered him. He said he was a Whetstone kid, and that was how he knew everyone. I told him that didn't make any sense since no one at the party was a Whetstone kid, but he insisted. I was trying to get some ice cream from the freezer, and he blocked my way. I told him to get the heck out of my area, but he refused, so I just went back down to the family room to watch the movie that was playing. Right when I tried to sit in the chair, he jumped into it and I ended up on his lap. I got out of the chair and knelt in front of it, and tried to reason with him about blocking my ice cream and thieving my chair and so on. He apologized, and out of the corner of my eye I saw ND making blow job faces and laughing. So, I got up and went into the bathroom to get some peace. Right as I was sitting on the toilet, pants down and everything, Clint comes and sits down; again I end up on his lap. I'm like, "Dude you had better move before I stain your jeans" and he says he doesn't care because "a woman's period is a natural thing in life" or something 1970's school video-ish. He steals my stupid pad and looks at it like he had never seen a feminine napkin before. He says something like he thought it would be bloodier or grosser or something and I inform him that it's the last day so the flow is light. He accepts that reasoning, and gives the pad back to me. Then he's looking all over for soap to wash his hands (because it's only polite he says) and can't find any manly soap. Everything in this bathroom is girly, because it's RE(D)B's bathroom. TB's bathroom is on the other side of the room. Clint goes over there to wash his hands. At this point I'm just like wtf mate, and so I sit down on the couch to wait for Clint and accept that he likes me and maybe we can hang. Well, I wait and wait and wait, someone asks me where SL is and I remind them that his mother made him move to New Jersey and I was not invited, and I wait some more. This guy Joe (who likes to show his balls at karaoke in real life) comes up to me and I ask him if he knows where Clint is. He says that Clint left because I told him he was boring. I ask everyone if they have Clint's number, but no one does. So I go home, hoping to see him at the next party or something. I give everyone my number so they can give it to him if they see him out. The next morning I am running a little late for work, but I decide to stop in at this greek donut place anyway. I thought I was only running about 5 minutes behind, but when I look at the clock it says I am 30 mintues late. So I call the office, and instead of answering, KG just sticks me into DE's voicemail. This irritates me, so I decide not to get her a donut. I'm in the shop, and the greek people who work there are so funny looking, like caricatures of greek people instead of actual greek people. It's scary. The girl keeps touching my arm like we're friends. I finally get my donuts and get back to the car, except this creepy guy that has been watching me the whole time is making me nervous and I step in a big pile of sawdust. It gets all up in my shoes and everything, and I have to wipe my shoes off in the snow as I swing myself into the car. Did I mention that it's winter and I live in Massachusettes? Yeah. The last scene is me driving to work, feeling irritated. But I liked my outfit, it was black knee-high boots, long black skirt, dark grey turtle neck, and black scarf. I looked awesome.
I went to a party last Saturday night (got real drunk, got in a fight, uh-huh, it ain't no big thing) at my friend RE(D)B's house, where she lived with her husband, in Findlay. There were a lot of people there, including a girl Mary from high school, and a young John Goodman, and ND from work, along with some folks I didn't know. It was a very good time, John Goodman played with the band and their house was huge so it wasn't crowded. I was feeling a little bit irritated because I was on the rag though. Then I met this boy, Clint. He looks like the Mac guy from the Apple Commercials. I guess I had met him before, and vaguely remembered him. He said he was a Whetstone kid, and that was how he knew everyone. I told him that didn't make any sense since no one at the party was a Whetstone kid, but he insisted. I was trying to get some ice cream from the freezer, and he blocked my way. I told him to get the heck out of my area, but he refused, so I just went back down to the family room to watch the movie that was playing. Right when I tried to sit in the chair, he jumped into it and I ended up on his lap. I got out of the chair and knelt in front of it, and tried to reason with him about blocking my ice cream and thieving my chair and so on. He apologized, and out of the corner of my eye I saw ND making blow job faces and laughing. So, I got up and went into the bathroom to get some peace. Right as I was sitting on the toilet, pants down and everything, Clint comes and sits down; again I end up on his lap. I'm like, "Dude you had better move before I stain your jeans" and he says he doesn't care because "a woman's period is a natural thing in life" or something 1970's school video-ish. He steals my stupid pad and looks at it like he had never seen a feminine napkin before. He says something like he thought it would be bloodier or grosser or something and I inform him that it's the last day so the flow is light. He accepts that reasoning, and gives the pad back to me. Then he's looking all over for soap to wash his hands (because it's only polite he says) and can't find any manly soap. Everything in this bathroom is girly, because it's RE(D)B's bathroom. TB's bathroom is on the other side of the room. Clint goes over there to wash his hands. At this point I'm just like wtf mate, and so I sit down on the couch to wait for Clint and accept that he likes me and maybe we can hang. Well, I wait and wait and wait, someone asks me where SL is and I remind them that his mother made him move to New Jersey and I was not invited, and I wait some more. This guy Joe (who likes to show his balls at karaoke in real life) comes up to me and I ask him if he knows where Clint is. He says that Clint left because I told him he was boring. I ask everyone if they have Clint's number, but no one does. So I go home, hoping to see him at the next party or something. I give everyone my number so they can give it to him if they see him out. The next morning I am running a little late for work, but I decide to stop in at this greek donut place anyway. I thought I was only running about 5 minutes behind, but when I look at the clock it says I am 30 mintues late. So I call the office, and instead of answering, KG just sticks me into DE's voicemail. This irritates me, so I decide not to get her a donut. I'm in the shop, and the greek people who work there are so funny looking, like caricatures of greek people instead of actual greek people. It's scary. The girl keeps touching my arm like we're friends. I finally get my donuts and get back to the car, except this creepy guy that has been watching me the whole time is making me nervous and I step in a big pile of sawdust. It gets all up in my shoes and everything, and I have to wipe my shoes off in the snow as I swing myself into the car. Did I mention that it's winter and I live in Massachusettes? Yeah. The last scene is me driving to work, feeling irritated. But I liked my outfit, it was black knee-high boots, long black skirt, dark grey turtle neck, and black scarf. I looked awesome.
30 June 2006
Pancake Chips
I was a chef-in-training, waiting on my final test. I worked at RGIS. I was preparing a huge fourth-of-July brunch for all these people that worked with me. I made, homemade, corned beef and cabbage (not sauerkraut, *cabbage*), appetizers (tiny open-faced roast beef sandwiches with horseradish dill sauce, mini tacos, and fun-shapes vegetable tray), and a breakfast selection. The breakfast selection was the best, I made pancake chips (they were blueberry pancakes made correctly, and then baked in the oven) and watermelon stars and fresh bacon that was perfect. I was a goddess. I even made orange juice from hand with a squeezer. The only thing was, every time I made something, I had to count every single piece and audit it for inventory. So if I used the milk, I would have to count how much milk was there before I used it, and then after, and count all the other milks in the fridge. Oh yeah. It was fucked up.
The other night I was in Macedonia, driving by my old place, when I saw this girl Jennifer that used to live down the street from me. I said hi but she didn't recognize me, and when I told her who I was, she said that she had heard I had died. I laughed, and told her no. Of course not. She was wearing a pale-green Jack Daniel's polo just like the one I have. But it was smaller. She let me use her bathroom, and then told me I had better leave because she heard they were coming looking for me because I was supposed to be dead. I got the feeling that she was some sort of zombie all of a sudden, and ran out. The whole neighborhood was infested with zombies.
When I was laying in bed the other night, I got the notion that everytime I took a breath it turned into furniture. I was laying next to SL and several pieces, such as an armoire, a sofa table, and what looked like an antique roll-top desk. But it could have just been faux vintage.
I really should go back to doing drugs.
The other night I was in Macedonia, driving by my old place, when I saw this girl Jennifer that used to live down the street from me. I said hi but she didn't recognize me, and when I told her who I was, she said that she had heard I had died. I laughed, and told her no. Of course not. She was wearing a pale-green Jack Daniel's polo just like the one I have. But it was smaller. She let me use her bathroom, and then told me I had better leave because she heard they were coming looking for me because I was supposed to be dead. I got the feeling that she was some sort of zombie all of a sudden, and ran out. The whole neighborhood was infested with zombies.
When I was laying in bed the other night, I got the notion that everytime I took a breath it turned into furniture. I was laying next to SL and several pieces, such as an armoire, a sofa table, and what looked like an antique roll-top desk. But it could have just been faux vintage.
I really should go back to doing drugs.
27 June 2006
I'm A Failure.
In so many ways.
So many.
Well anyway, the reason is that I can't pay my bills. Please, no hoorahs or I told you so's, don't need it. It's not my fault, really. The guys aren't closing loans, and I only make $12 an hour. It's not my fault, but I sill feel like a failure. Instead of doing cocaine and drinking, I could have put all that money into savings and when slow times came around at work I wouldn't have to worry about anything. But I'm too fucking stupid to think about that at the time, so now I'm poor.
Also, I have recently had the opportunity to contact all of my exboyfriends. I feel as though I failed all of them, or possibly, that I failed because of them. Maybe I shouldn't have been such a cunt when I was a teenager and broken these hearts and stuff. I could have not let myself "fall in love" so quickly and promise the world to them. Now, they're married, and happy. I'm miserable. Which is where the next part comes in, maybe it's good that I left all of them because each one was better than the last, for the most part, and if things went the way they did I might have ruined more than one life. Now I'm just ruining SL's life by bringing him down to my shit-ass level.
Needless to say, I'm feeling lots of regret about my past today and I'm not really sure how to deal with it.
So many.
Well anyway, the reason is that I can't pay my bills. Please, no hoorahs or I told you so's, don't need it. It's not my fault, really. The guys aren't closing loans, and I only make $12 an hour. It's not my fault, but I sill feel like a failure. Instead of doing cocaine and drinking, I could have put all that money into savings and when slow times came around at work I wouldn't have to worry about anything. But I'm too fucking stupid to think about that at the time, so now I'm poor.
Also, I have recently had the opportunity to contact all of my exboyfriends. I feel as though I failed all of them, or possibly, that I failed because of them. Maybe I shouldn't have been such a cunt when I was a teenager and broken these hearts and stuff. I could have not let myself "fall in love" so quickly and promise the world to them. Now, they're married, and happy. I'm miserable. Which is where the next part comes in, maybe it's good that I left all of them because each one was better than the last, for the most part, and if things went the way they did I might have ruined more than one life. Now I'm just ruining SL's life by bringing him down to my shit-ass level.
Needless to say, I'm feeling lots of regret about my past today and I'm not really sure how to deal with it.
21 June 2006
Hurt
It hurts when you realize that you have been lied to, especially about something small. It hurts to be lied to at all.
It hurts to be held responsible for someone else's actions (or reactions) and then get punished for their doing, or not doing, whatever the case may be.
It hurts to think that the whole thing has been a "fantasy" if you will. The whole damn thing.
No, this doesn't have anything to do with SL. He's fine. We're fine. It's just me.
It hurts to be held responsible for someone else's actions (or reactions) and then get punished for their doing, or not doing, whatever the case may be.
It hurts to think that the whole thing has been a "fantasy" if you will. The whole damn thing.
No, this doesn't have anything to do with SL. He's fine. We're fine. It's just me.
15 June 2006
$110, $130, $800
Well, I didn't win the grill on Tuesday, but that's okay, because they ended up not doing a contest anyway. They did it as a raffle instead, and Dooger won, so that's good. At least it wasn't someone shitty that I don't like!
But, I'm getting ahead of myself.
Saturday was alright, SL and I hung around all day, grilled some delicious steaks for dinner, and went to JI's at night. It was alright there, no one showed up except SL and me, but at least I got to sit by a bonfire and drink a couple beers. Before we went over there, while we were making/eating dinner, we watched "Goodfellas" which is a very good movie. I kept expecting to see Steve Buscemi, but no.
Sunday SL had to work at 15:00, so we did some stuff, I cleaned around the house a little bit, and typed up a whole ass load of recipes for the Crock Pot again. We went to karaoke, which was cool, and had a pretty good time. The regular ol' crowd was there, TomCat, Moose, Dooger, etc.
Monday I got a note on my door saying that if I didn't clean up my patio, I would get evicted. It claimed I was in violation of some state/city code, blah blah blah. I was furious. My patio is nice, if a bit weedy, but definitely not trashed. So Monday night I ripped out a whole bunch of weeds and picked up what trash was out there. It was hard ass work, I tell you what. Tomorrow SL and I are going to finish it. SL cleaned up the house while I did the patio. It was alright.
Tuesday I talked to the leasing office and they said that everyone in the complex got that note, and the reason is that they are having investors come through to look at the property. That made sense, but I think they could have gotten the point across in a less harsh way, but whatever. We went to karaoke at Brewstirs, where I did not win the grill, but I did get a T-shirt from Miller Lite (SL got one too) and I won five games of NTN Trivia in a row. Hellz Yah. I was doing really great until the end of the night when I stopped paying attention to the game and just gave up. It was great fun.
Last night Dooger and D*Martin came over for dinner, which was hot dogs, burgers, fries, and pasta salad. All home-made, except the salad was from a box. Well, and obviously I didn't make my own hot dogs or cut my own fries. I guess only the burgers were home-made then... dang. But they were delicious. I figured that dinner would feed everyone, since I worry about D*Martin not eating enough (haha) and since Dooger always buys us pitchers and stuff, it would kinda pay him back some. We watched a movie called "King of New York" that Dooger brought over, and it was pretty good. It had Christopher Walken, so that was cool. This movie did have Steve Buscemi, yay.
Today I got paid, and tomorrow SL gets paid (maybe today, if his direct deposit hasn't started yet.) I wouldn't have been short on bills if the dang cats didn't have to get their shots, but that's cool. I got everything paid, I only borrowed $100.00, and I'm not behind, yippy yippy. I also paid my stupid $130.00 speeding ticket. Poo. The only thing I have to worry about saving for now is my damn tax return. I think I owe like $800.00. Fuck the stupid government.
But, I'm getting ahead of myself.
Saturday was alright, SL and I hung around all day, grilled some delicious steaks for dinner, and went to JI's at night. It was alright there, no one showed up except SL and me, but at least I got to sit by a bonfire and drink a couple beers. Before we went over there, while we were making/eating dinner, we watched "Goodfellas" which is a very good movie. I kept expecting to see Steve Buscemi, but no.
Sunday SL had to work at 15:00, so we did some stuff, I cleaned around the house a little bit, and typed up a whole ass load of recipes for the Crock Pot again. We went to karaoke, which was cool, and had a pretty good time. The regular ol' crowd was there, TomCat, Moose, Dooger, etc.
Monday I got a note on my door saying that if I didn't clean up my patio, I would get evicted. It claimed I was in violation of some state/city code, blah blah blah. I was furious. My patio is nice, if a bit weedy, but definitely not trashed. So Monday night I ripped out a whole bunch of weeds and picked up what trash was out there. It was hard ass work, I tell you what. Tomorrow SL and I are going to finish it. SL cleaned up the house while I did the patio. It was alright.
Tuesday I talked to the leasing office and they said that everyone in the complex got that note, and the reason is that they are having investors come through to look at the property. That made sense, but I think they could have gotten the point across in a less harsh way, but whatever. We went to karaoke at Brewstirs, where I did not win the grill, but I did get a T-shirt from Miller Lite (SL got one too) and I won five games of NTN Trivia in a row. Hellz Yah. I was doing really great until the end of the night when I stopped paying attention to the game and just gave up. It was great fun.
Last night Dooger and D*Martin came over for dinner, which was hot dogs, burgers, fries, and pasta salad. All home-made, except the salad was from a box. Well, and obviously I didn't make my own hot dogs or cut my own fries. I guess only the burgers were home-made then... dang. But they were delicious. I figured that dinner would feed everyone, since I worry about D*Martin not eating enough (haha) and since Dooger always buys us pitchers and stuff, it would kinda pay him back some. We watched a movie called "King of New York" that Dooger brought over, and it was pretty good. It had Christopher Walken, so that was cool. This movie did have Steve Buscemi, yay.
Today I got paid, and tomorrow SL gets paid (maybe today, if his direct deposit hasn't started yet.) I wouldn't have been short on bills if the dang cats didn't have to get their shots, but that's cool. I got everything paid, I only borrowed $100.00, and I'm not behind, yippy yippy. I also paid my stupid $130.00 speeding ticket. Poo. The only thing I have to worry about saving for now is my damn tax return. I think I owe like $800.00. Fuck the stupid government.
13 June 2006
T-Shirts and a Grill
Come to Brewstir's on Weber and High tonight after 10pm. There's a contest and I want to win, so I need everyone's votes. Go me!
10 June 2006
It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas...
Everywhere you go!
Take a look in the Five-and-Ten,
Glistening once again,
With Candy Canes and Silver Lanes A-glow!
I don't even know if those are the real words or not. I'm going strictly on memory here, and seeing as it's 07:59, I'm sleepy recovering from a 6-beer-1.5-shot-somehow-got-drunk-end-taco-bell night, I don't really give a fuck either. Yeah.
Anyway, it's less than 200 days til Christmas.
So, this week. Well, it was alright. Wednesday was boring. SL and I watched a movie, "One Hour Photo" and it was very good. I had seen it a couple times before, and I really liked it. Robin Williams in a serious role is something amazing. Let's see... What else... that was pretty much it for Wednesday. Oh, we had pizza for dinner.
Thursday SL got paid and so we went to Fiesta Jalisco for dinner. I was starting to feel withdrawal symptoms, so I knew we'd have to go soon. The veggie chimichanga and cholesterol-free beans were just what I needed to get my fix. Then, we went home and had a beer while sitting on the beautiful patio, er, jungle, er... patio. Yeah. D*Martin was maybe going to stop by before karaoke, but he didn't. We went to Gordy's and saw him there! They had karaoke on the main level, which was nice. A few folks we know were there, and it was alright. I drank O'Doul's all night because it was my turn to drive. Plus, I'm fucking tired of drinking anymore. We went home around twelve thirty and went to bed. It's the first sign of getting old. Oh! I also got a speeding ticket on Thursday afternoon. It was on Maple Canyon/Community Park, and I should have known better but oh well. Number one, I always speed there (it's a 25 and such a long stretch of nothingness) and I'm surprised I haven't been caught the few times the popos have been out. Two, I should have gone down Cleveland like I wanted to, but the back way out of the bank was crowded so I went down Maple Canyon instead. Three, the fact that there were 2 motorcycle and 3 regular cop cars there made me think that it was an accident, especially since someone busted up the guardrail a couple of weeks ago. Why should I bother to slow way down (I was paced with the car in front of me, who, incidentally, did not get pulled over)? I thought I was going at least 30 mph, but Officer Rall said I was going 38 in a 25. Hard for me to believe I would speed that blatantly in front of a pack of cops, even if I think they're doing something else, cuz you never know, but damn. Oh well, I've gone eight years without a speeding ticket or anything else (besides the Little Turtle garage incident, not my fault, and a few accidents I didn't cause) so I guess I should be greatful. I could have gotten pulled over for a DUI or something. I suppose I was biding my time as it was. Now I have one mark on my adult driving record. Let's leave it at that. I've been feeling really scared with the drinking then driving thing, because I realise that although I may feel cool to drive, I probably wouldn't pass a breathalizer, or even stupid human tricks because I can't even do those when I'm sober. You think my fat top-heavy ass can walk a straight line one foot in front of the other? Dude, I can barely see the line over these hooters.
Yesterday SL finally had the day off after working for two weeks (that's calendar weeks, not business weeks) straight. He had days off from CVS in there, but went and worked with The Sir on those days to make some extra cash. Good, good. He got a couple of things done, like going to get cigarettes, but the dishes from Monday and Tuesday are still sitting in the sink. I'm not really sure what he was doing all day. Maybe he ran the dishwasher. I think he did.
When I got off of work we went to the bank and opened some savings accounts. Mine is limited, meaning I cannot do anything to it other than deposit. If I want to withdraw, I can only do so once a month, and I have to go into the bank and talk to my dude to do it. SL's is not limited, but he still can only withdraw once a month (that's the way the savings accounts are) but he can withdraw any other time and have a fee assessed; also, he can't access the account through his card. I'll be putting away $20 per month to start off with, and SL is putting away $10 per week. We'll have enough money for vacation, divorce, car fixing, and bill paying in no time! I mean, it's basically $240 a year for me and $520 a year for him. That's pretty good. Also, I'm not going to use my credit card anymore, I'm just going to pay it down to zero. That way, once it's paid down, I can just use it for emergencies or splurges or even for the divorce. I figure if I put $20 a month in the savings and $75 a month in the credit card, it will only be about eleven months until I have $1,000 to get a divorce. Too bad I need to get my car fixed too, which is $500, and I have to do that before November... but at $95 a month I'll have that done in five months. So basically we can start expecting a divorce in about a year and a half. Who knows, when we start making more money, we can put more away, and then it could be sooner! In a year and a half I will have been married for almost six years.
Wow, I talked about the bank for a long time.
Anyway, after the bank we had to go to CheckSmart, which sucks. But we needed groceries so badly. Eating out was beginning to get sickening and way expensive. We had Johnny Oak's for dinner; the pulled pork is not nearly as good as the Cajun burger. After that we had some sex and it was good. Haven't said that in awhile. Not that I haven't had sex, haha, I just haven't mentioned it! After the lovin' we went to the brand spanking new Save-a-Lot on Morse Road. Hells Yah. I know it sounds ghetto, but I love Save-a-Lot. It's so cheap. We spent $85 on what would have normally cost over $100 at Kroger. I still love Kroger, but right now we're on a Save-a-Lot budget. Fo'sho. After the grocery excursion we went to Gordy's on a non-karaoke night to see TD for her going away party. We had to pay a $6 cover charge ($3 each) and that was bullshit, but whatever, we stayed until 01:00 and I had four free beers and one point five free shots (I shared one with WR.) I ran into these two kids I used to work with at Dairy Queen back in the day, and that was crazy as hell. I couldn't believe it. They look pretty much the same except the guy had gotten really really thin, compared to what he was in high school. Oh man. The party was pretty fun, I got to see RB, DS, DJ, and a couple of other folks. All in all, a great time. I'm going to miss TD, but at least SL and I have someone to stop and see on the way to West Palm Beach! After Gordy's, we went to WR's because pretty much everyone had headed downtown and I fucking hate downtown (no parking and too many skanks.) Chilled there for about an hour, then headed home because I was tired. Stopped at Taco Bell, and I was seriously about to pee myself I had to pee so bad. I swear to god I have never had to pee so bad in my entire life! The only reason I mention this is because I only had about six beers and those little shots over the course of five and a half hours! Why did I have to pee?! It was terrible. I was shaking and spasming and so on, waiting for the goddamn Taco Bell drive-thru to move faster. Stupid Kia Sportage, taking it sweet slow time. Bastards. When I got home, I felt better, because I peed for like twenty-seven minutes. Ha.
Then, we ate our Taco Bell, watch some Jay Leno, and went to bed.
At fucking 07:30 Herman Sherman called me wanting to know where AK was, as if I would know. Oh well, I guess he has a right to be pissed if AK doesn't show up, because what Herman Sherman was supposed to be doing with AK is closing a loan in Springfield for these deadbeats who are fucking lucky to even be getting a loan since they think that not paying their bills is a good idea. Sheesh. And I want my fucking pay on the goddamn thing too! Oh well. I'm not hungover right now, just very tired, and I think I'm going to go back to bed. I just went down stairs to get some juice and noticed that the box of frozen fishsticks we bought yesterday was chillin' on the stove. I left it there because it's fucking ruined anyway. Oh well, it was only $1.99! Sucks, but that's alright. We'll go get another one.
Take a look in the Five-and-Ten,
Glistening once again,
With Candy Canes and Silver Lanes A-glow!
I don't even know if those are the real words or not. I'm going strictly on memory here, and seeing as it's 07:59, I'm sleepy recovering from a 6-beer-1.5-shot-somehow-got-drunk-end-taco-bell night, I don't really give a fuck either. Yeah.
Anyway, it's less than 200 days til Christmas.
So, this week. Well, it was alright. Wednesday was boring. SL and I watched a movie, "One Hour Photo" and it was very good. I had seen it a couple times before, and I really liked it. Robin Williams in a serious role is something amazing. Let's see... What else... that was pretty much it for Wednesday. Oh, we had pizza for dinner.
Thursday SL got paid and so we went to Fiesta Jalisco for dinner. I was starting to feel withdrawal symptoms, so I knew we'd have to go soon. The veggie chimichanga and cholesterol-free beans were just what I needed to get my fix. Then, we went home and had a beer while sitting on the beautiful patio, er, jungle, er... patio. Yeah. D*Martin was maybe going to stop by before karaoke, but he didn't. We went to Gordy's and saw him there! They had karaoke on the main level, which was nice. A few folks we know were there, and it was alright. I drank O'Doul's all night because it was my turn to drive. Plus, I'm fucking tired of drinking anymore. We went home around twelve thirty and went to bed. It's the first sign of getting old. Oh! I also got a speeding ticket on Thursday afternoon. It was on Maple Canyon/Community Park, and I should have known better but oh well. Number one, I always speed there (it's a 25 and such a long stretch of nothingness) and I'm surprised I haven't been caught the few times the popos have been out. Two, I should have gone down Cleveland like I wanted to, but the back way out of the bank was crowded so I went down Maple Canyon instead. Three, the fact that there were 2 motorcycle and 3 regular cop cars there made me think that it was an accident, especially since someone busted up the guardrail a couple of weeks ago. Why should I bother to slow way down (I was paced with the car in front of me, who, incidentally, did not get pulled over)? I thought I was going at least 30 mph, but Officer Rall said I was going 38 in a 25. Hard for me to believe I would speed that blatantly in front of a pack of cops, even if I think they're doing something else, cuz you never know, but damn. Oh well, I've gone eight years without a speeding ticket or anything else (besides the Little Turtle garage incident, not my fault, and a few accidents I didn't cause) so I guess I should be greatful. I could have gotten pulled over for a DUI or something. I suppose I was biding my time as it was. Now I have one mark on my adult driving record. Let's leave it at that. I've been feeling really scared with the drinking then driving thing, because I realise that although I may feel cool to drive, I probably wouldn't pass a breathalizer, or even stupid human tricks because I can't even do those when I'm sober. You think my fat top-heavy ass can walk a straight line one foot in front of the other? Dude, I can barely see the line over these hooters.
Yesterday SL finally had the day off after working for two weeks (that's calendar weeks, not business weeks) straight. He had days off from CVS in there, but went and worked with The Sir on those days to make some extra cash. Good, good. He got a couple of things done, like going to get cigarettes, but the dishes from Monday and Tuesday are still sitting in the sink. I'm not really sure what he was doing all day. Maybe he ran the dishwasher. I think he did.
When I got off of work we went to the bank and opened some savings accounts. Mine is limited, meaning I cannot do anything to it other than deposit. If I want to withdraw, I can only do so once a month, and I have to go into the bank and talk to my dude to do it. SL's is not limited, but he still can only withdraw once a month (that's the way the savings accounts are) but he can withdraw any other time and have a fee assessed; also, he can't access the account through his card. I'll be putting away $20 per month to start off with, and SL is putting away $10 per week. We'll have enough money for vacation, divorce, car fixing, and bill paying in no time! I mean, it's basically $240 a year for me and $520 a year for him. That's pretty good. Also, I'm not going to use my credit card anymore, I'm just going to pay it down to zero. That way, once it's paid down, I can just use it for emergencies or splurges or even for the divorce. I figure if I put $20 a month in the savings and $75 a month in the credit card, it will only be about eleven months until I have $1,000 to get a divorce. Too bad I need to get my car fixed too, which is $500, and I have to do that before November... but at $95 a month I'll have that done in five months. So basically we can start expecting a divorce in about a year and a half. Who knows, when we start making more money, we can put more away, and then it could be sooner! In a year and a half I will have been married for almost six years.
Wow, I talked about the bank for a long time.
Anyway, after the bank we had to go to CheckSmart, which sucks. But we needed groceries so badly. Eating out was beginning to get sickening and way expensive. We had Johnny Oak's for dinner; the pulled pork is not nearly as good as the Cajun burger. After that we had some sex and it was good. Haven't said that in awhile. Not that I haven't had sex, haha, I just haven't mentioned it! After the lovin' we went to the brand spanking new Save-a-Lot on Morse Road. Hells Yah. I know it sounds ghetto, but I love Save-a-Lot. It's so cheap. We spent $85 on what would have normally cost over $100 at Kroger. I still love Kroger, but right now we're on a Save-a-Lot budget. Fo'sho. After the grocery excursion we went to Gordy's on a non-karaoke night to see TD for her going away party. We had to pay a $6 cover charge ($3 each) and that was bullshit, but whatever, we stayed until 01:00 and I had four free beers and one point five free shots (I shared one with WR.) I ran into these two kids I used to work with at Dairy Queen back in the day, and that was crazy as hell. I couldn't believe it. They look pretty much the same except the guy had gotten really really thin, compared to what he was in high school. Oh man. The party was pretty fun, I got to see RB, DS, DJ, and a couple of other folks. All in all, a great time. I'm going to miss TD, but at least SL and I have someone to stop and see on the way to West Palm Beach! After Gordy's, we went to WR's because pretty much everyone had headed downtown and I fucking hate downtown (no parking and too many skanks.) Chilled there for about an hour, then headed home because I was tired. Stopped at Taco Bell, and I was seriously about to pee myself I had to pee so bad. I swear to god I have never had to pee so bad in my entire life! The only reason I mention this is because I only had about six beers and those little shots over the course of five and a half hours! Why did I have to pee?! It was terrible. I was shaking and spasming and so on, waiting for the goddamn Taco Bell drive-thru to move faster. Stupid Kia Sportage, taking it sweet slow time. Bastards. When I got home, I felt better, because I peed for like twenty-seven minutes. Ha.
Then, we ate our Taco Bell, watch some Jay Leno, and went to bed.
At fucking 07:30 Herman Sherman called me wanting to know where AK was, as if I would know. Oh well, I guess he has a right to be pissed if AK doesn't show up, because what Herman Sherman was supposed to be doing with AK is closing a loan in Springfield for these deadbeats who are fucking lucky to even be getting a loan since they think that not paying their bills is a good idea. Sheesh. And I want my fucking pay on the goddamn thing too! Oh well. I'm not hungover right now, just very tired, and I think I'm going to go back to bed. I just went down stairs to get some juice and noticed that the box of frozen fishsticks we bought yesterday was chillin' on the stove. I left it there because it's fucking ruined anyway. Oh well, it was only $1.99! Sucks, but that's alright. We'll go get another one.
06 June 2006
Duh-duh-duh-Happy Birthday!
My kittens are one today! They are EVIL! Haha.
BTW.
Got an email from SS, she wants to become friends again (refer to February 2006) and I'm not sure how I really feel about that. On one hand, we were good friends. On the other hand, she had her sister and her neice make serious threats against me. How do I know that if some day in the future we get into another disagreement that the same thing won't happen again? This is quite the predicament. I know she still reads the blog and I haven't responded to her email yet, so...
BTW.
Got an email from SS, she wants to become friends again (refer to February 2006) and I'm not sure how I really feel about that. On one hand, we were good friends. On the other hand, she had her sister and her neice make serious threats against me. How do I know that if some day in the future we get into another disagreement that the same thing won't happen again? This is quite the predicament. I know she still reads the blog and I haven't responded to her email yet, so...
05 June 2006
La la la la la!
Well I had a pretty good weekend. Fairly uneventful, as usual. Thursday SL and I went to karaoke at Gordy's, and it was good. There was a super drunk girl there, apparently she had seen us at Brewstir's on Sunbury, but I didn't remember her. She remembered us though, expecially SL. Sheesh. She was wasted. Not too many people we knew were there, AK was there, D*Martin of course, and Jstn. Some guys who show up almost every week were there too, they are alright. Funny guys. B the BDI was there with his girlfriend, K, too. I talked to them a little bit, but they were headed over to Eldo's to see his other daughter. His girlfriend asked if I talk to SS anymore, and I said no, and she said it's such a shame what happened because poor SS doesn't have any friends and she's just alienating herself from the rest of the world. I guess she doesn't talk to anyone really except for K. At least that's what she said. K said that she wishes SS would just come to her senses so maybe we could be friends again. I thought to myself "gee that would be okay" and then I remembered all the threats she made against me. It's one thing to try and be friends again after a bunch of name calling, but when someone makes serious threats against you, so serious that you have to call the police, it's a whole different story. I could never be friends with her again, especially now that I've seen this side of her. That's not the type of person I need in my life.
Friday I only worked until 14:45, which was about two hours earlier than I was planning to get off work. That was alright though, because I had plenty of time to go to the bank, go to Kroger, and make dinner. I made the best dinner ever, homemade lasagne, ceaser salad, and garlic bread. It was the shit. I'm so good too that I even had it ready exactly on time for SL when he got home. Oh yeah, I rule. Headed out to Kroger around eleven, because I fell asleep in the chair, and bought some groceries. Other than that, we laid around Friday night and did nothing, which was nice.
Saturday SL didn't have to work until 15:00, so we got some Johnny Oak's Cajun for lunch, which was delicious. I had the Cajun burger, a combination of ground cajun meat and cream cheese on a bun with onions and mustard, and SL had the brisket. We had 3 sides, which were greens, potato salad, and dirty rice. It was SO good. We also went to the library, so SL could pick up his reserves and I could get some books. I joined the Adult Reading Club too. There is a $100.00 prize at the end for the winner. I hope I get it! But I probably won't, because I usually don't win raffles. I win contests, cuz I rock, but I rarely win raffles or lotteries. Oh well. While SL was at work I typed up some recipes for the Crock Pot, messed around online, and watched COPS. When he got off work, we headed out to Giant Eagle for some meat and a couple other things. We got in a little fight because he always says shit to me like I'm stupid, for example, I ran the card at Giant Eagle and it wasn't like Kroger where you press one button for credit or the other for debit. It just gave you a choice, and the choice screen came and went before I could press anything. So I'm like, about to press enter, when SL goes, "Just press enter" which wouldn't have been a problem if he hadn't said it like an asshole. I told him I was tired of being talked to like a child, and instead of saying something like, "I'm sorry I was just trying to suggest" he got all defensive and asshole-ish. I told him that I guess I should just not tell him my feelings because apparently my feelings are always wrong. I'm always the bad guy. The dishes haven't been done for almost a week, and the trash hasn't been taken out in just as long. We have no plates to eat off of, no silverware to use. But that's fine with me because I'm not going to enable him anymore. He has to learn to pull his weight because I'm not going to pull for both of us anymore.
Anyway. We came home and watched a lot of SVU and some Mad TV and I got tipsy. SL only had three beers though, but whatever, I don't care. I'm sure he was trying to prove a point, because his mother thinks I'm an alcoholic, but that's fine. He's not even old enough to drink anyway. When he's 21, maybe we can talk about things.
Sunday SL had to work at 13:00, so we woke up around 10:00 and laid in bed for awhile, then got up and he made breakfast. It was good, omelettes and bacon. I prefer my omelettes with cheese inside, not mixed in with the eggs, but it was still pretty good. While SL was working, I painted some flowers, typed up more recipes, took a nap, and then took a shower/shaved/etc. I even blow dryed my hair. I made beef and broccoli for dinner in the Crock Pot and it was delicious. Everything I cook is delicious, as a matter of fact. Thought I would throw that in there. We went to karaoke around 22:00, and it was so dead. Had two pitchers, did not get drunk. Sang about four times, blah, it was just boring. Doc was there, TomCat, Moose, Lda, Sir, Dooger (some of the time) and some other folks. Wrinkles was there, and I was SO happy to see him since it's been about three or four months since I saw him last. His oldest son graduated yesterday, and he was all emotional about it. I sang "Summertime" by Janis Joplin for him because he loves it. The night was just blah really. Nothing much happened, and I guess that was okay, but I prefer it when it's wild and fun. Oh well.
SL gets off before I do today, and I wonder if he will do the dishes and take out the trash. If not, I will probably be more pissed than I already am, and I will probably scream.
Friday I only worked until 14:45, which was about two hours earlier than I was planning to get off work. That was alright though, because I had plenty of time to go to the bank, go to Kroger, and make dinner. I made the best dinner ever, homemade lasagne, ceaser salad, and garlic bread. It was the shit. I'm so good too that I even had it ready exactly on time for SL when he got home. Oh yeah, I rule. Headed out to Kroger around eleven, because I fell asleep in the chair, and bought some groceries. Other than that, we laid around Friday night and did nothing, which was nice.
Saturday SL didn't have to work until 15:00, so we got some Johnny Oak's Cajun for lunch, which was delicious. I had the Cajun burger, a combination of ground cajun meat and cream cheese on a bun with onions and mustard, and SL had the brisket. We had 3 sides, which were greens, potato salad, and dirty rice. It was SO good. We also went to the library, so SL could pick up his reserves and I could get some books. I joined the Adult Reading Club too. There is a $100.00 prize at the end for the winner. I hope I get it! But I probably won't, because I usually don't win raffles. I win contests, cuz I rock, but I rarely win raffles or lotteries. Oh well. While SL was at work I typed up some recipes for the Crock Pot, messed around online, and watched COPS. When he got off work, we headed out to Giant Eagle for some meat and a couple other things. We got in a little fight because he always says shit to me like I'm stupid, for example, I ran the card at Giant Eagle and it wasn't like Kroger where you press one button for credit or the other for debit. It just gave you a choice, and the choice screen came and went before I could press anything. So I'm like, about to press enter, when SL goes, "Just press enter" which wouldn't have been a problem if he hadn't said it like an asshole. I told him I was tired of being talked to like a child, and instead of saying something like, "I'm sorry I was just trying to suggest" he got all defensive and asshole-ish. I told him that I guess I should just not tell him my feelings because apparently my feelings are always wrong. I'm always the bad guy. The dishes haven't been done for almost a week, and the trash hasn't been taken out in just as long. We have no plates to eat off of, no silverware to use. But that's fine with me because I'm not going to enable him anymore. He has to learn to pull his weight because I'm not going to pull for both of us anymore.
Anyway. We came home and watched a lot of SVU and some Mad TV and I got tipsy. SL only had three beers though, but whatever, I don't care. I'm sure he was trying to prove a point, because his mother thinks I'm an alcoholic, but that's fine. He's not even old enough to drink anyway. When he's 21, maybe we can talk about things.
Sunday SL had to work at 13:00, so we woke up around 10:00 and laid in bed for awhile, then got up and he made breakfast. It was good, omelettes and bacon. I prefer my omelettes with cheese inside, not mixed in with the eggs, but it was still pretty good. While SL was working, I painted some flowers, typed up more recipes, took a nap, and then took a shower/shaved/etc. I even blow dryed my hair. I made beef and broccoli for dinner in the Crock Pot and it was delicious. Everything I cook is delicious, as a matter of fact. Thought I would throw that in there. We went to karaoke around 22:00, and it was so dead. Had two pitchers, did not get drunk. Sang about four times, blah, it was just boring. Doc was there, TomCat, Moose, Lda, Sir, Dooger (some of the time) and some other folks. Wrinkles was there, and I was SO happy to see him since it's been about three or four months since I saw him last. His oldest son graduated yesterday, and he was all emotional about it. I sang "Summertime" by Janis Joplin for him because he loves it. The night was just blah really. Nothing much happened, and I guess that was okay, but I prefer it when it's wild and fun. Oh well.
SL gets off before I do today, and I wonder if he will do the dishes and take out the trash. If not, I will probably be more pissed than I already am, and I will probably scream.
03 June 2006
Quick Tally
For those of you who are interested:
More to come. I must go watch The Simpsons.
- 34 posts involving "strange dreams"
- over 100 references to Zuey's
- almost 100 references to Eldo's
More to come. I must go watch The Simpsons.
The Missing Posts. (Previously handwritten in a small notebook.)
April 1st, 2005
Midnight
My plane is suppose to leave in 6 hours but I'm at Zuey's being very nervous. Right about now is when I start telling everyone that I need to go and sleep. The problem is, I am too nervous. Tim, Brian, Doug, Luke, and Billy (who is not Steve Skills) are all telling me I will be fine - but I am so scared of the airport. Finally, around 1:30am, I go home and fall asleep in the recliner. I am awoken around 3:45am by Tony, who is packing my suitcase. I sleep on and off until about 4:15am when I finally get up and finish helping Tony pack. We head out, hit CVS for cigs, stopped back at home because I forgot my paperwork. Finally we head out to the airport. Get there, and I actually move through the check-in fairly quickly. So quickly in fact that I am waiting patiently for my plane by 5:25am - 55 minutes to take off! 6:20am comes and goes - the announce it will be 6:35am. The crew has to get 8hrs of sleep to legally fly. By 6:55am I am finally on the plane. I expected a regular size jet plane, but I was sadly mistaken- my "American Eagle" was more like a mexican airbus. very, very small with 6 passengers, 1 pilot, and 1 stewardess. The flight wasn't bad - take off was fun really - I couldn't believe how fast we were actually going. I thought it would be a more gradual thing but it was really like zoom! And suddenly we're almost 30,000 feet in the air. I looked out the window for about 15 minutes, then I fell asleep on and off until the pilot came on and said we would be landing in 15 minutes. I drank Sprite from a can on the flight. We landed in Boston (over the ocean) at a completely separate terminal. Logan airport was kind of scary, but I made it through and into a taxi that took me to Salem. I got in around 10:45am. Luckily I got to check in early - normal check in isn't until 3pm. I got to the room, made some phone calls to Lani and my mom, and then fell asleep. So many people called me that afternoon - Tony, Lani, Mom, Luke, Shawn - nobody ever calls me on my cell phone but for some reason they al felt the need to call me that afternoon! Around 4:30pm I finally woke up and took a shower. Dinner was in the Tavern - nachos and Sam Adams White Ale. I get hit with New England sticker shock - $13.10 plus tip - $16.00. Oh my gosh. I couldn't believe it. After dinner I walked outside to smoke (the whole state has a smoking ban!) and I asked a very creepy looking woman if she knew where I could go for live music and good beer. The answer was Dodge Street Bar & Grille. Very local place. Locals with thick accents and all. Bartender is about a four on a scale of 1-10 in friendliness. Oh well. New England was never known for its charming residents. I stay until about 10:45pm, just long enough to catch the opening band. While I'm there, Wes calls me and we talk a little, some about work, some about my trip. An old guy sitting next to me kept telling me he was not trying to put a pass on me, but he bought me a few beers, and kept up a very, very boring conversation. It was cold walking back to the hotel, but not too bad. When I got in, I ordered a
pizza that ended up being very cheap with free extra cheese. Sleep came around eleven thirty.
Saturday April 2nd
8:30am
I wake up, and within five minutes room service knocks on the door witha $14.00 breakfast of 2 eggs, 2 pieces of toast, 2 sausage links, homefires, orange juice and water. Delicious. I laid around for a little while and took a shower followed by some more laying around til I finally left and headed for the Peabody-Essex Museum. It was raining pretty hard when I left the hotel, and since my winter jacket won't be here until Monday, I ran to the museum. The Peabody-Essex Museum was okay, not as exciting as I thought it would be. Not really worth $13.00 either. Oh well, museums are always overpriced. After that I went to the Salem Beer Works for lunch, which was 1/2 Steak Ceasar Wrap, 1 cup of New England Clam Chowder, and a glass of Bunker Hill Bluebeery Ale - Beer made with blueberries and it had real blueberries floating around in the glass. Delicious. I went back to the hotel after lunch and napped from about 4:30pm to 7:30pm. I got up and looked through the hotel-provided directory for something fun to do. A place called Rockafellas had live music, so I went there - it was right down the street. Very nice place - I had foccacia w/pesto, a salad, and baked sea scallops with seafood stuffing and rice pilaf. The owner of the restaurant, Theresa, ate dinner with me. It was very nice. I also had two Harpoon Ales, which I believe is my new favorite over Miller Lite. It's real beer! I walked back to the hotel and had one beer in the tavern and then went to my room to relax, watch some TV, and sleep. I'm not sure when I fell asleep, but at 5:40am, who should call me but Scott. He's crying and drunk - terrible. Tells me he made a fool of himself in fron to f a bunc ho f people. I'm not surprised. He keeps going on, basically uttering nonsense, tells me he wants to drive out here. He finally falls asleep and I hang up. What an odd thing.
Sunday April 3rd
11am
I wake up, shower, call Scott (no answer), and head to Dunkin' Donuts. I actually eat two donuts - I think I've had four donuts total in the last year. I head to CVS to buy this notebook, these shitty pens, some cigs, a razor, and 3 disposable cameras - $32.00. After that I go to the Trollet Shop to buy some souvenirs, shot glasses and postcards. Head over to Witch Tee's and get a shirt for Hailey, Yo, and myself. While I'm in there, Scott calls me. Apologizes for scaring me last night. Tells me he does miss me. Some girl he was trying to date fucked him over, etc. I tell him that he shouldn't even bother wiht other women. He agreed - told me he should stick with me because I'm the only one who is ever there for him. *sigh* I pay for my t-shirts and head back to the hotel. I drop off my stuff and pick up my camera and sweatshirt. Head out into the neighborhood and take 16 pics from The Commons to Darby Wharf. It rains a little but not too bad - its mostly windy. I eat lunch at McSwiggin's (Harpoon and Chowdah) and go back to the hotel for some rest. While trying to rest, Nate (the guy who likes to be tied up) txt msgs me. I txt msg him back to call me. He does, and I give him a dare to do. When he's done he calls me back and we end up talking for an hour while I just chill in the room. Around 7pm I order a cheesesteak and onion rings from Omega. It arrives about 8pm. The onion rings are great but the sandwhich is weird - LOTS of meat, barely any cheese, and no lettuce/tomatoe/mayo/etc. I eat all of it over about an hour - its actually really good. After that I just lay around til sleep.
Monday April 4th
10:00 am
Guest services calls to tell me they have a package for me. It's my jacket - yay! I call work after they drop it off and talk to Lani a little - of couse she has some bullshit drama to relay, I really don't care. I talk to Wes and help him figure out some stuff for work. After showering and watching some of the Pope's procession, I walk to Brother's cafeteria to eat a Greek salad and tapioca pudding with Diet Pepsi. I decided to be touristy today so I went to the Witch History Museum. I was the only person there and it was pretty cool. The girl was nice and I was allowed to take pictures of all the stuff. After that I walked to the Witch Museum where it was me and a family of four. That was pretty cool too. Their little boy was about 4 or 5 and he was scared. It was very cute. I went back to the hotel and balanced my check book and then rested. After a short nap I woke up and walked to Finz, an oh-so-hip seafood restaurant. I spent $60 including the tip, but it was worth it. I had a cosmo martini, a glass of pinot grigio, a baileys and coffee, a salad, and lobster ravioli. After dinner I walked back to the hotel to watch some TV and rest some more.
The End
Midnight
My plane is suppose to leave in 6 hours but I'm at Zuey's being very nervous. Right about now is when I start telling everyone that I need to go and sleep. The problem is, I am too nervous. Tim, Brian, Doug, Luke, and Billy (who is not Steve Skills) are all telling me I will be fine - but I am so scared of the airport. Finally, around 1:30am, I go home and fall asleep in the recliner. I am awoken around 3:45am by Tony, who is packing my suitcase. I sleep on and off until about 4:15am when I finally get up and finish helping Tony pack. We head out, hit CVS for cigs, stopped back at home because I forgot my paperwork. Finally we head out to the airport. Get there, and I actually move through the check-in fairly quickly. So quickly in fact that I am waiting patiently for my plane by 5:25am - 55 minutes to take off! 6:20am comes and goes - the announce it will be 6:35am. The crew has to get 8hrs of sleep to legally fly. By 6:55am I am finally on the plane. I expected a regular size jet plane, but I was sadly mistaken- my "American Eagle" was more like a mexican airbus. very, very small with 6 passengers, 1 pilot, and 1 stewardess. The flight wasn't bad - take off was fun really - I couldn't believe how fast we were actually going. I thought it would be a more gradual thing but it was really like zoom! And suddenly we're almost 30,000 feet in the air. I looked out the window for about 15 minutes, then I fell asleep on and off until the pilot came on and said we would be landing in 15 minutes. I drank Sprite from a can on the flight. We landed in Boston (over the ocean) at a completely separate terminal. Logan airport was kind of scary, but I made it through and into a taxi that took me to Salem. I got in around 10:45am. Luckily I got to check in early - normal check in isn't until 3pm. I got to the room, made some phone calls to Lani and my mom, and then fell asleep. So many people called me that afternoon - Tony, Lani, Mom, Luke, Shawn - nobody ever calls me on my cell phone but for some reason they al felt the need to call me that afternoon! Around 4:30pm I finally woke up and took a shower. Dinner was in the Tavern - nachos and Sam Adams White Ale. I get hit with New England sticker shock - $13.10 plus tip - $16.00. Oh my gosh. I couldn't believe it. After dinner I walked outside to smoke (the whole state has a smoking ban!) and I asked a very creepy looking woman if she knew where I could go for live music and good beer. The answer was Dodge Street Bar & Grille. Very local place. Locals with thick accents and all. Bartender is about a four on a scale of 1-10 in friendliness. Oh well. New England was never known for its charming residents. I stay until about 10:45pm, just long enough to catch the opening band. While I'm there, Wes calls me and we talk a little, some about work, some about my trip. An old guy sitting next to me kept telling me he was not trying to put a pass on me, but he bought me a few beers, and kept up a very, very boring conversation. It was cold walking back to the hotel, but not too bad. When I got in, I ordered a
pizza that ended up being very cheap with free extra cheese. Sleep came around eleven thirty.
Saturday April 2nd
8:30am
I wake up, and within five minutes room service knocks on the door witha $14.00 breakfast of 2 eggs, 2 pieces of toast, 2 sausage links, homefires, orange juice and water. Delicious. I laid around for a little while and took a shower followed by some more laying around til I finally left and headed for the Peabody-Essex Museum. It was raining pretty hard when I left the hotel, and since my winter jacket won't be here until Monday, I ran to the museum. The Peabody-Essex Museum was okay, not as exciting as I thought it would be. Not really worth $13.00 either. Oh well, museums are always overpriced. After that I went to the Salem Beer Works for lunch, which was 1/2 Steak Ceasar Wrap, 1 cup of New England Clam Chowder, and a glass of Bunker Hill Bluebeery Ale - Beer made with blueberries and it had real blueberries floating around in the glass. Delicious. I went back to the hotel after lunch and napped from about 4:30pm to 7:30pm. I got up and looked through the hotel-provided directory for something fun to do. A place called Rockafellas had live music, so I went there - it was right down the street. Very nice place - I had foccacia w/pesto, a salad, and baked sea scallops with seafood stuffing and rice pilaf. The owner of the restaurant, Theresa, ate dinner with me. It was very nice. I also had two Harpoon Ales, which I believe is my new favorite over Miller Lite. It's real beer! I walked back to the hotel and had one beer in the tavern and then went to my room to relax, watch some TV, and sleep. I'm not sure when I fell asleep, but at 5:40am, who should call me but Scott. He's crying and drunk - terrible. Tells me he made a fool of himself in fron to f a bunc ho f people. I'm not surprised. He keeps going on, basically uttering nonsense, tells me he wants to drive out here. He finally falls asleep and I hang up. What an odd thing.
Sunday April 3rd
11am
I wake up, shower, call Scott (no answer), and head to Dunkin' Donuts. I actually eat two donuts - I think I've had four donuts total in the last year. I head to CVS to buy this notebook, these shitty pens, some cigs, a razor, and 3 disposable cameras - $32.00. After that I go to the Trollet Shop to buy some souvenirs, shot glasses and postcards. Head over to Witch Tee's and get a shirt for Hailey, Yo, and myself. While I'm in there, Scott calls me. Apologizes for scaring me last night. Tells me he does miss me. Some girl he was trying to date fucked him over, etc. I tell him that he shouldn't even bother wiht other women. He agreed - told me he should stick with me because I'm the only one who is ever there for him. *sigh* I pay for my t-shirts and head back to the hotel. I drop off my stuff and pick up my camera and sweatshirt. Head out into the neighborhood and take 16 pics from The Commons to Darby Wharf. It rains a little but not too bad - its mostly windy. I eat lunch at McSwiggin's (Harpoon and Chowdah) and go back to the hotel for some rest. While trying to rest, Nate (the guy who likes to be tied up) txt msgs me. I txt msg him back to call me. He does, and I give him a dare to do. When he's done he calls me back and we end up talking for an hour while I just chill in the room. Around 7pm I order a cheesesteak and onion rings from Omega. It arrives about 8pm. The onion rings are great but the sandwhich is weird - LOTS of meat, barely any cheese, and no lettuce/tomatoe/mayo/etc. I eat all of it over about an hour - its actually really good. After that I just lay around til sleep.
Monday April 4th
10:00 am
Guest services calls to tell me they have a package for me. It's my jacket - yay! I call work after they drop it off and talk to Lani a little - of couse she has some bullshit drama to relay, I really don't care. I talk to Wes and help him figure out some stuff for work. After showering and watching some of the Pope's procession, I walk to Brother's cafeteria to eat a Greek salad and tapioca pudding with Diet Pepsi. I decided to be touristy today so I went to the Witch History Museum. I was the only person there and it was pretty cool. The girl was nice and I was allowed to take pictures of all the stuff. After that I walked to the Witch Museum where it was me and a family of four. That was pretty cool too. Their little boy was about 4 or 5 and he was scared. It was very cute. I went back to the hotel and balanced my check book and then rested. After a short nap I woke up and walked to Finz, an oh-so-hip seafood restaurant. I spent $60 including the tip, but it was worth it. I had a cosmo martini, a glass of pinot grigio, a baileys and coffee, a salad, and lobster ravioli. After dinner I walked back to the hotel to watch some TV and rest some more.
The End
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