29 April 2005
This road is long and dusty - sometimes the soul, it must be cleansed.
"...and I long to feel that water rushin' over me again. Down with the old man, up with the new. Raised to walk in the way of light and truth. I didn't see no angel, just a few saints on the shore..." ~ "Baptism" Kenny Chesney feat. Randy Travis
*SIGH*
This has been an interesting week.
Monday
Recovering from MF last night. He came to El Dorado's and kissed me straight on my lips a whole bunch of times. Basically professed his undying love. As he sobered up he stopped that kind of behavior. I almost died of a bent heart. GG showed up late, around midnight I think, and I had been drinking whisky so I was in a sad mood. I need to stop drinking whisky. GG was nice enough to buy my broke ass a whisky. I was greatful. I like GG, she's awesome. If I'm in a sad mood or a bad mood, she can usually bring me up, even if its just a little bit. We're both incredibly silly girls. And we sing terrible rap songs in a terrible way. It's hilarious. Not much happened on Monday during the day though. I don't even remember what I did Monday night.
Tuesday
Went grocery shopping after work and wrote a check over so I could have some freakin' money. My last paycheck ran out so fast it was ridiculous. TM and MF came over for dinner, and when they arrived MF was completely plastered and TM was halfway there. I made chicken and corn and asparagus. I was quite pleased with my dinner. TM left around nine, and MF passed out on the couch. I baked a cake and then started drinking. Apparently I fell asleep in the chair because around one a.m. MF woke me up and we went upstairs to sleep. He held me all night long and kissed on me a little bit. It hurt.
Wednesday
Woke up next to MF, he was happy because it was sunny out so that meant he could go and mow a bunch of lawns to get cash. I had four missed calls on my cell phone, and when I checked the log they were all from the same number - J*R! He left three messages, one at 3:01 am, one at 3:08 am, and one at 3:41 am. That was fucking weird. I left him a message. I took MF back to the hotel and dropped him off. Then I headed to the gas station, where I tried to use my debit card to get gas. Thank god I had $5 on me because the pump rejected my card. When I got to work, I logged onto my online bank statement and my worry was confirmed - my check to the IRS had gone through and I was negative $2.29. I was not really upset though because I knew it was coming and I was glad that I didn't have to wait for it to go through any more. I called J*R a few times during the day and left silly messages on his voicemail. Wenesday night I went to Kroger and bought paper towels, toilet paper and feminine products just so I could write another check over. I went to Zuey's after that. It was not too bad. The usual people were there, like BR and this other boy Nicholas. Nicholas brought his sister, Alexandra, because it was her 21st birthday. I think I was drunk but I can't remember - I think that means I was... oh well. MF showed up, and I almost had a cow because I thought I wouldn't see him for a week. He was being rather unfriendly to me though. He usually acts like that sometimes around really beautiful pretty girls, like KP (the bartender.) I went home and I do believe I cried. Can't remember that either. Taco Bell was involved. Thinking back, J*R never called me. I wonder if TS told J*Rthat we fucked?
Thursday
Another great day at work. I can't wait for LF to fucking put her two weeks in. I have a great idea for a new way to run the office and I think it would work really really well. As soon as she tells DE, I'm gonna run my ass in there and pitch it to him. Oh yes. Then I will be rich rich rich. Yay! Went to Zuey's at night, of course, and nobody was there really. SR was there and I talked to her a little bit about marriage and divorce and stuff. The weird tarot girl T was there also, and she did a reading for K (the new male bartender on Mondays.) They went out to her truck, supposedly to get something, and they never came back. It kinda grossed us all out because K is fucking hotter than shit and she looks like a turtle with glasses. Very odd. We hoped they weren't doing anything icky. MF showed up around one a.m. which surprised me because I really thought he was going back to Mansfield. I had been talking to RJ about how to rid TM from my life and MF just randomly walked in. I gave him the rest of my beer. He wanted to come over, but he didn't want to leave at that moment. He told me to leave the door unlocked for him. I went home and ate my Taco Bell, and waited. I was about to lock the door when he came in. We slept upstairs, and as usual, he held me and kissed on me a little. I made him touch my boob. He got all erected and was embarassed. I told him that my boob would be offended if he didn't get excited from touching it. Every single time MF and I sleep in the same bed, he always holds me. We fall asleep together like that, and wake up with our backs to each other. A little weird, but whatever. I gave up hope on him this week and it hurts.
Friday
Finally paid. I'll write on today, tomorrow.
*SIGH*
This has been an interesting week.
Monday
Recovering from MF last night. He came to El Dorado's and kissed me straight on my lips a whole bunch of times. Basically professed his undying love. As he sobered up he stopped that kind of behavior. I almost died of a bent heart. GG showed up late, around midnight I think, and I had been drinking whisky so I was in a sad mood. I need to stop drinking whisky. GG was nice enough to buy my broke ass a whisky. I was greatful. I like GG, she's awesome. If I'm in a sad mood or a bad mood, she can usually bring me up, even if its just a little bit. We're both incredibly silly girls. And we sing terrible rap songs in a terrible way. It's hilarious. Not much happened on Monday during the day though. I don't even remember what I did Monday night.
Tuesday
Went grocery shopping after work and wrote a check over so I could have some freakin' money. My last paycheck ran out so fast it was ridiculous. TM and MF came over for dinner, and when they arrived MF was completely plastered and TM was halfway there. I made chicken and corn and asparagus. I was quite pleased with my dinner. TM left around nine, and MF passed out on the couch. I baked a cake and then started drinking. Apparently I fell asleep in the chair because around one a.m. MF woke me up and we went upstairs to sleep. He held me all night long and kissed on me a little bit. It hurt.
Wednesday
Woke up next to MF, he was happy because it was sunny out so that meant he could go and mow a bunch of lawns to get cash. I had four missed calls on my cell phone, and when I checked the log they were all from the same number - J*R! He left three messages, one at 3:01 am, one at 3:08 am, and one at 3:41 am. That was fucking weird. I left him a message. I took MF back to the hotel and dropped him off. Then I headed to the gas station, where I tried to use my debit card to get gas. Thank god I had $5 on me because the pump rejected my card. When I got to work, I logged onto my online bank statement and my worry was confirmed - my check to the IRS had gone through and I was negative $2.29. I was not really upset though because I knew it was coming and I was glad that I didn't have to wait for it to go through any more. I called J*R a few times during the day and left silly messages on his voicemail. Wenesday night I went to Kroger and bought paper towels, toilet paper and feminine products just so I could write another check over. I went to Zuey's after that. It was not too bad. The usual people were there, like BR and this other boy Nicholas. Nicholas brought his sister, Alexandra, because it was her 21st birthday. I think I was drunk but I can't remember - I think that means I was... oh well. MF showed up, and I almost had a cow because I thought I wouldn't see him for a week. He was being rather unfriendly to me though. He usually acts like that sometimes around really beautiful pretty girls, like KP (the bartender.) I went home and I do believe I cried. Can't remember that either. Taco Bell was involved. Thinking back, J*R never called me. I wonder if TS told J*Rthat we fucked?
Thursday
Another great day at work. I can't wait for LF to fucking put her two weeks in. I have a great idea for a new way to run the office and I think it would work really really well. As soon as she tells DE, I'm gonna run my ass in there and pitch it to him. Oh yes. Then I will be rich rich rich. Yay! Went to Zuey's at night, of course, and nobody was there really. SR was there and I talked to her a little bit about marriage and divorce and stuff. The weird tarot girl T was there also, and she did a reading for K (the new male bartender on Mondays.) They went out to her truck, supposedly to get something, and they never came back. It kinda grossed us all out because K is fucking hotter than shit and she looks like a turtle with glasses. Very odd. We hoped they weren't doing anything icky. MF showed up around one a.m. which surprised me because I really thought he was going back to Mansfield. I had been talking to RJ about how to rid TM from my life and MF just randomly walked in. I gave him the rest of my beer. He wanted to come over, but he didn't want to leave at that moment. He told me to leave the door unlocked for him. I went home and ate my Taco Bell, and waited. I was about to lock the door when he came in. We slept upstairs, and as usual, he held me and kissed on me a little. I made him touch my boob. He got all erected and was embarassed. I told him that my boob would be offended if he didn't get excited from touching it. Every single time MF and I sleep in the same bed, he always holds me. We fall asleep together like that, and wake up with our backs to each other. A little weird, but whatever. I gave up hope on him this week and it hurts.
Friday
Finally paid. I'll write on today, tomorrow.
24 April 2005
I stopped keeping track at eleven...
Oh my gosh! Yes, I know it's been over a month since I posted. I will say this in my defense, I was very busy. Very VERY busy.
I took my first airplane trip ever, from Port Columbus to Logan in Boston, Mass. The ride was okay. I was never really afraid of the plane ride, mostly afraid of the airport. Going out wasn't so bad, but I missed my flight on the way back because all my paperwork said 6:45 pm and my flight was actually at 6:45am so I had to spend a long time in Logan Airport on Stand-By but I was home in Columbus by 7pm that night - yay!
What has happened in the last month... wow. I don't even know where to start. I guess I can just start talking and hopefully most of it will come to me as I go along. I'll try and go in order but I am making no promises!
Let's see... Well, before I left I actually got a chance to sleep with G the Canadian twice. The first time was fucking awesome. He is a champ, I tell you what. He talked dirty to me, which was basically him rattling off a bunch of facts about Canada. Somehow, that was really hot to me. Don't ask, I've always loved Canada. The second time was not so awesome because foreplay consisted of him grossing me out with ketchup and eating a steak with mustard. when we were done, he told me we should just be friends. I cried for a really long time. We're still friends, and actually we have hung out a whole lot lately. Maybe I am finally starting to make his heart do flips (that was his reason for being friends only - I didn't make his heart do flips) or something. We have a small road trip to Kentucky tentatively planned for this weekend. We'll see how that goes.
I slept with J*R (the Eminem guy) a few more times, and it's all well and good. He's a super nice guy but he has an issue with returning phone calls. He apologized for it, called himself a dick, and we moved on. Before that, he had actually introduced me to his friends. It was kinda weird, being the only girl, but I felt kinda special. He even had his arm around me in front of them. Supposedly the reason why he stopped calling me back is because he thought I wanted some kinda commitment. I would, but I don't know if he's the one. Especially after the last two Fridays. Last Friday (week before 2 days ago) I hung out with J*R and TS at TS's house. We all blew down and drank some beers and had a wonderful time. J*R played video games while TS and I talked and listened to music. Then TS went to bed and J*R tried to fuck me which was unsuccessful because you can't really get it up when you've been blowing down. I got off though, which was okay, and then I left. J*R wanted me to stay overnight there, but there was no place to sleep so I just went home. He apologized, as usual, for the limp dick. It's a running thing, kids, Jon and his limp dick. He needs to fuck me when he hasn't been doing drugs. Maybe when he hasn't even been drinking... who knows. Anyway. This past Friday, I went to Zuey's after my date with a new friend, CW. TS was there so I sat by him and we were just shooting the breeze and laughing at white trash that was blowing him off and stuff like that. He started talking about how last Friday he heard me moaning and that got his dick so hard that he had to come out and see what I was doing. Apparently at the moment he came out I was giving J*R a blowjob and TS had the mad desire to come up behind me and start fucking me, but he didn't because he wasn't sure how I would react. Well apparently this thought was enough to get him all excited again because all nine inches was hanging over the side of his leg inside his jeans just waiting for me to jump on it. We finished our beers, tabbed out, and came back to my place for almost three hours of incredibly hot sex where I got off a lot of times (I stopped counting at eleven) and he didn't get off before we went to sleep. Around 6:45am the next morning he woke me up in that special way. He finally got off and we fell back to sleep. The only shitty part was when he got up to go to work, he thought he was late and literally ran downstairs, got dressed, and bolted. I was semi-offended but oh well. He'll be back, I hope.
Who else is there... Oh, well, I fucked SJ for the first time since Christmas (or was it Thanksgiving?) and we had a little heart to heart and he said he thinks he's in love with me, but then he hasn't called in 2 weeks... I fucked TM's friend CS, who was very cute and very nice but who showed up at Zuey's two days later with some girl and completely ignored me. I think that's about it... yeah.
I know you're all dying to hear what happened to SB and me. Well, nothing really. We talked a little bit before I left for vacation, but nothing important. He called me while I was ON vacation and he was drunk and crying and rambling about bullshit and I was like, half asleep but I had no idea what to say. Talked to him the next day and he said he was sorry for calling me at 3am and he missed me and couldn't wait til I get back. Yep, the motherfucker has not returned a single one of my calls NOR has he called me. I saw him at Zuey's the day after I got back and he didn't even recognize me. When he realized who I was he said I was looking good but he really had nothing to say. As he was leaving I was like, "Hey we should get together and fuck sometime" and he goes, "Well gee that was blunt" and I said "Well SB whenever I'm nice to you and girly to you, you blow me off. Maybe if I'm kinda trashy and bitchy you'll pay attention." He looked confused and said, "I'll call you later." and left. Applause for me! I have no idea why I even bother to think about him anymore. But I get so confused, like, the way he talks and the way he acts are so opposite, but only 75% of the time... I guess that's my answer. But when I was on vacation and he called me up the next day, sober, he was like, "I guess I can't date anyone, can I? I'm just not meant to date." To which my response was, "Well SB you should just date me. I'm ridiculously cute, devistatingly charming, I have nice tits, tight pussy, I'm rich and well educated, and I love to suck cock." And do you know what HE said? "Those things are all true, but really you're the only girl who is ever there for me no matter what." Now how the fuck can he not care one single bit but still say that shit, and not even being saying it simply to get me in the sack?! I could understand if we were about to fuck or he was trying to take me home or something, but its all so very random. I hate boys!!!
What else? Can't think of anything. I'm sure it will come to me later.
I took my first airplane trip ever, from Port Columbus to Logan in Boston, Mass. The ride was okay. I was never really afraid of the plane ride, mostly afraid of the airport. Going out wasn't so bad, but I missed my flight on the way back because all my paperwork said 6:45 pm and my flight was actually at 6:45am so I had to spend a long time in Logan Airport on Stand-By but I was home in Columbus by 7pm that night - yay!
What has happened in the last month... wow. I don't even know where to start. I guess I can just start talking and hopefully most of it will come to me as I go along. I'll try and go in order but I am making no promises!
Let's see... Well, before I left I actually got a chance to sleep with G the Canadian twice. The first time was fucking awesome. He is a champ, I tell you what. He talked dirty to me, which was basically him rattling off a bunch of facts about Canada. Somehow, that was really hot to me. Don't ask, I've always loved Canada. The second time was not so awesome because foreplay consisted of him grossing me out with ketchup and eating a steak with mustard. when we were done, he told me we should just be friends. I cried for a really long time. We're still friends, and actually we have hung out a whole lot lately. Maybe I am finally starting to make his heart do flips (that was his reason for being friends only - I didn't make his heart do flips) or something. We have a small road trip to Kentucky tentatively planned for this weekend. We'll see how that goes.
I slept with J*R (the Eminem guy) a few more times, and it's all well and good. He's a super nice guy but he has an issue with returning phone calls. He apologized for it, called himself a dick, and we moved on. Before that, he had actually introduced me to his friends. It was kinda weird, being the only girl, but I felt kinda special. He even had his arm around me in front of them. Supposedly the reason why he stopped calling me back is because he thought I wanted some kinda commitment. I would, but I don't know if he's the one. Especially after the last two Fridays. Last Friday (week before 2 days ago) I hung out with J*R and TS at TS's house. We all blew down and drank some beers and had a wonderful time. J*R played video games while TS and I talked and listened to music. Then TS went to bed and J*R tried to fuck me which was unsuccessful because you can't really get it up when you've been blowing down. I got off though, which was okay, and then I left. J*R wanted me to stay overnight there, but there was no place to sleep so I just went home. He apologized, as usual, for the limp dick. It's a running thing, kids, Jon and his limp dick. He needs to fuck me when he hasn't been doing drugs. Maybe when he hasn't even been drinking... who knows. Anyway. This past Friday, I went to Zuey's after my date with a new friend, CW. TS was there so I sat by him and we were just shooting the breeze and laughing at white trash that was blowing him off and stuff like that. He started talking about how last Friday he heard me moaning and that got his dick so hard that he had to come out and see what I was doing. Apparently at the moment he came out I was giving J*R a blowjob and TS had the mad desire to come up behind me and start fucking me, but he didn't because he wasn't sure how I would react. Well apparently this thought was enough to get him all excited again because all nine inches was hanging over the side of his leg inside his jeans just waiting for me to jump on it. We finished our beers, tabbed out, and came back to my place for almost three hours of incredibly hot sex where I got off a lot of times (I stopped counting at eleven) and he didn't get off before we went to sleep. Around 6:45am the next morning he woke me up in that special way. He finally got off and we fell back to sleep. The only shitty part was when he got up to go to work, he thought he was late and literally ran downstairs, got dressed, and bolted. I was semi-offended but oh well. He'll be back, I hope.
Who else is there... Oh, well, I fucked SJ for the first time since Christmas (or was it Thanksgiving?) and we had a little heart to heart and he said he thinks he's in love with me, but then he hasn't called in 2 weeks... I fucked TM's friend CS, who was very cute and very nice but who showed up at Zuey's two days later with some girl and completely ignored me. I think that's about it... yeah.
I know you're all dying to hear what happened to SB and me. Well, nothing really. We talked a little bit before I left for vacation, but nothing important. He called me while I was ON vacation and he was drunk and crying and rambling about bullshit and I was like, half asleep but I had no idea what to say. Talked to him the next day and he said he was sorry for calling me at 3am and he missed me and couldn't wait til I get back. Yep, the motherfucker has not returned a single one of my calls NOR has he called me. I saw him at Zuey's the day after I got back and he didn't even recognize me. When he realized who I was he said I was looking good but he really had nothing to say. As he was leaving I was like, "Hey we should get together and fuck sometime" and he goes, "Well gee that was blunt" and I said "Well SB whenever I'm nice to you and girly to you, you blow me off. Maybe if I'm kinda trashy and bitchy you'll pay attention." He looked confused and said, "I'll call you later." and left. Applause for me! I have no idea why I even bother to think about him anymore. But I get so confused, like, the way he talks and the way he acts are so opposite, but only 75% of the time... I guess that's my answer. But when I was on vacation and he called me up the next day, sober, he was like, "I guess I can't date anyone, can I? I'm just not meant to date." To which my response was, "Well SB you should just date me. I'm ridiculously cute, devistatingly charming, I have nice tits, tight pussy, I'm rich and well educated, and I love to suck cock." And do you know what HE said? "Those things are all true, but really you're the only girl who is ever there for me no matter what." Now how the fuck can he not care one single bit but still say that shit, and not even being saying it simply to get me in the sack?! I could understand if we were about to fuck or he was trying to take me home or something, but its all so very random. I hate boys!!!
What else? Can't think of anything. I'm sure it will come to me later.
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