CHINESE HOROSCOPE (Freakishly Correct)
DO NOT CHEAT
OR IT WON'T WORK AND
YOU WILL WISH YOU HADN`T.
TAKE 3 MINUTES
TRY THIS - IT WILL FREAK YOU OUT.
NO CHEATING!!!!
THIS GAME HAS A FUNNY / CREEPY OUTCOME.
DO NOT READ AHEAD, JUST DO IT.
IT TAKES ABOUT 3 MINUTES - WORTH A TRY
1st. Get PEN and PAPER
2nd. WHEN CHOOSING NAMES, MAKE SURE THEY ARE REAL PEOPLE THAT YOU ACTUALLY KNOW
3rd. GO WITH YOUR FIRST INSTINCTS !!!!! Very important for good results.
4th SCROLL DOWN
ONE LINE AT THE TIME
DON`T READ AHEAD
otherwise
YOU WILL RUIN THE FUN.
1. On a blank sheet of paper, WRITE NUMBERS 1 through 11 in a COLUMN on the LEFT.
2. Next to the NUMBERS 1 & 2,
WRITE DOWN ANY
2 NUMBERS YOU WANT.
3. Next to the NUMBERS 3 & 7,
WRITE DOWN THE NAMES OF TWO MEMBERS
OF THE OPPOSITE SEX. SAME SEX IF GAY
CAUTION: DO NOT LOOK AHEAD or IT WILL NOT TURN OUT RIGHT
4. WRITE ANYONES NAME
(like FRIENDS or FAMILY...)
next to 4, 5, & 6.
DON`T CHEAT OR YOU`LL BE UPSET THAT YOU DID
5. WRITE down FOUR SONG TITLES in 8, 9, 10, & 11
6. Finally,
MAKE A WISH
ARE YOU READY?
HERE IS THE KEY TO THE GAME...
1. THE NUMBER of PEOPLE THAT LIKE YOU is found in SPACE 2
2. THE PERSON IN SPACE 3 IS THE ONE YOU LOVE
3. THE PERSON YOU LIKE but your relationship CANNOT WORK is in SPACE 7
4. YOU CARE MOST about the PERSON you put in SPACE 4
5. THE PERSON YOU NAME IN NUMBER 5 IS THE ONE WHO KNOWS YOU VERY WELL.
6. THE PERSON YOU NAMED IN 6 IS YOUR LUCKY STAR
7. THE SONG IN 8 IS THE SONG THAT MATCHES WITH THE PERSON IN NUMBER 3
8. THE TITLE IN 9 IS THE SONG FOR THE PERSON IN 7
9. THE 10TH SPACE IS THE SONG THAT TELLS YOU MOST ABOUT YOUR MIND
10. AND 11 IS THE SONG TELLING HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT LIFE
11. NUMBER 1 IS YOUR LUCKY NUMBER
SO!
According to this damn thing:
1. 2/3 is my lucky number.
2. 47 people like me.
3. D*Martin is the one I love
4. Poke is the one I care most about.
5. SJK knows me very well.
6. GG is my lucky star.
7. TB is the one I like but it can't work.
8. "Happy Birthday" matches D*Martin.
9. "Fuck You" matches TB.
10. "Pussy Control" tells me most about my mind.
11. "Chasing Cars" is how I feel about life.
Well I'd say that's pretty damn accurate except a) TB is not someone I am romantically interested in and "Fuck You" is probably the last song I would ever attach to our work relationship b) Poke is not the one I care most about and c) I don't think 2/3 is my favorite number, although I do use "73%" a lot when I'm randomly choosing a percentage.
By the way, did I ever tell you guys that my birthdate = 23?
2+1+1+9+8+2 = 23
I'm special.
26 February 2007
23 February 2007
D*Martin
D*Martin and I made up. He apologized and everything is fine now. I was really upset about the whole situation. Yay!
Also... got a text from Poke. Says he misses me. I missed six calls from him last night while I was sleeping. WTF. I knew knew KNEW this would happen. It's the same fucking thing that happened last time. For a period of time, I'm the shit, and then he gets freaked out or something or finds a new piece of ass, and acts like he hates me. Then one to two months later he's calling me saying he's sorry and he misses me. I don't think I could do this a third time!!
Perhaps I will become a nun.
Also... got a text from Poke. Says he misses me. I missed six calls from him last night while I was sleeping. WTF. I knew knew KNEW this would happen. It's the same fucking thing that happened last time. For a period of time, I'm the shit, and then he gets freaked out or something or finds a new piece of ass, and acts like he hates me. Then one to two months later he's calling me saying he's sorry and he misses me. I don't think I could do this a third time!!
Perhaps I will become a nun.
22 February 2007
Couple of Updates
To St. Dickeybird and Izzy, you guys just rule! I loved your comments on that 50 things list I posted the other night. Obviously I did not write it, in fact, I can't even remember where I found it. I thought it was amusing, myself!
I removed the two videos of my doggys that made the page look all jacked cuz I hate that shit.
My best friend has slaughtered my feelings but I don't think it was intentional. He got a new girlfriend, randomly, and last night he completely ignored me. Well I shouldn't say completely, after all I did talk to him for about seven minutes out of the almost four hours I was there. I understand that the girlfriend is going to come first, whatever, but when I had boyfriends I never ever ignored him. Never. His response when I told him I was hurt was "It's not my fault that Ian fucked you over. You know we were only just friends. Don't I deserve to be happy?" Apparently pussy really is worth more than love. Poke showed me that, now my best friend seems to be going the same direction. I'm just getting dumped all over the place.
It would take a year to save up enough money to move away and start over. It would take like a day and be very inexpensive to just off myself.
But I'm too lazy.
I removed the two videos of my doggys that made the page look all jacked cuz I hate that shit.
My best friend has slaughtered my feelings but I don't think it was intentional. He got a new girlfriend, randomly, and last night he completely ignored me. Well I shouldn't say completely, after all I did talk to him for about seven minutes out of the almost four hours I was there. I understand that the girlfriend is going to come first, whatever, but when I had boyfriends I never ever ignored him. Never. His response when I told him I was hurt was "It's not my fault that Ian fucked you over. You know we were only just friends. Don't I deserve to be happy?" Apparently pussy really is worth more than love. Poke showed me that, now my best friend seems to be going the same direction. I'm just getting dumped all over the place.
It would take a year to save up enough money to move away and start over. It would take like a day and be very inexpensive to just off myself.
But I'm too lazy.
An email that makes a good post
Hey there.
I have 25% of a Starbucks banana chip muffin slowly going stale on the corner of my desk calendar. I can't bring myself to eat the rest of it. I don't really care though, cuz I didn't pay for it, I used my Starbucks gift card! I also have about 25% of my caramel macchiatto left, and it's very cold. The good thing is, cold coffee that was once warm tastes better to me than coffee fresh out of the pot. I like my coffee strong and settled. Kinda like I like my men.
It's Thursday, there's nothing to do, and I'm bored as hell. When I get home there will be nothing to do there either, except lay on the couch and look at my cats. Maybe tonight would be a good night to catch up on my sleep.
I got a text message from Sprint telling me that I'm over my balance, which I am, because apparently I forgot to pay my bill last month. I hate Sprint. I feel like I'm constantly giving them money and they are constantly threatening to shut my phone off. Fuckers.
There is a new-ish song out, "Lips of an Angel" by Hinder. I absolutely hate this song. I am going to write Hinder a letter telling them what an abomination their song is. It's probably the worst song I have ever heard. I would rather listen to Lamb Chop's "The Song that NeverEnds" for a year straight than ever listen to "Lips of an Angel" again. It's a song about a guy who gets a call from his ex while his girlfriend is in the other room and all he wants to do is be with the ex. What a douchebag.
Speaking of douchebag, Judith Light occasionally guest-spots on SVU as Bureau Chief Judge Elizabeth Donnelly. She appeared on Tuesday night's episode, and called someone a douchebag. I was quite amused because I don't think I have ever heard that word on TV, let alone on NBC, especially from the mouth of Judith Light.
There is a new boy who works in my office, apparently his name is Peter. He has worked here for two days and has yet to come and introduce himself to me. This is not only rude but a very bad idea because I am the one person who is going to work as hard as I can to get his loans closed. Unfortunately, he's off to a bad start and will now have to earn brownie points to get on my good side. He's not on my bad side yet, but each day that passes that he doesn't introduce himself to me gets him closer and closer to that bad side!
I just realized I wrote you an incredibly long email. Sometimes I can get that way. My bad. I would like to do something Sunday night perhaps, if you aren't too tired when you get back.
~Kel
I have 25% of a Starbucks banana chip muffin slowly going stale on the corner of my desk calendar. I can't bring myself to eat the rest of it. I don't really care though, cuz I didn't pay for it, I used my Starbucks gift card! I also have about 25% of my caramel macchiatto left, and it's very cold. The good thing is, cold coffee that was once warm tastes better to me than coffee fresh out of the pot. I like my coffee strong and settled. Kinda like I like my men.
It's Thursday, there's nothing to do, and I'm bored as hell. When I get home there will be nothing to do there either, except lay on the couch and look at my cats. Maybe tonight would be a good night to catch up on my sleep.
I got a text message from Sprint telling me that I'm over my balance, which I am, because apparently I forgot to pay my bill last month. I hate Sprint. I feel like I'm constantly giving them money and they are constantly threatening to shut my phone off. Fuckers.
There is a new-ish song out, "Lips of an Angel" by Hinder. I absolutely hate this song. I am going to write Hinder a letter telling them what an abomination their song is. It's probably the worst song I have ever heard. I would rather listen to Lamb Chop's "The Song that NeverEnds" for a year straight than ever listen to "Lips of an Angel" again. It's a song about a guy who gets a call from his ex while his girlfriend is in the other room and all he wants to do is be with the ex. What a douchebag.
Speaking of douchebag, Judith Light occasionally guest-spots on SVU as Bureau Chief Judge Elizabeth Donnelly. She appeared on Tuesday night's episode, and called someone a douchebag. I was quite amused because I don't think I have ever heard that word on TV, let alone on NBC, especially from the mouth of Judith Light.
There is a new boy who works in my office, apparently his name is Peter. He has worked here for two days and has yet to come and introduce himself to me. This is not only rude but a very bad idea because I am the one person who is going to work as hard as I can to get his loans closed. Unfortunately, he's off to a bad start and will now have to earn brownie points to get on my good side. He's not on my bad side yet, but each day that passes that he doesn't introduce himself to me gets him closer and closer to that bad side!
I just realized I wrote you an incredibly long email. Sometimes I can get that way. My bad. I would like to do something Sunday night perhaps, if you aren't too tired when you get back.
~Kel
20 February 2007
Can I have YOUR attention please? (jackass)
1. Don't tell us when you think other girls are hot.
2. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
3. If you don't act like soap-opera guys, don't expect us to dress like Victoria Secret models.
4. Mark anniversaries on a calendar.
5. There is no such thing as too much spooning.
6. Just because you L the C doesn't mean we have to S the D.
7. This is how we see it . . . Don't call = Don't Care.
8. Which also means that if we don't call, take the hint.
9. We like you to be a little jealous . . . but overly possessive is not necessary.
10. Putting things in our butt does not turn us on.
11. Return favors: we massage, you massage; we go down, you go down; we shave, you shave (and not just your face).
12. Foreplay is not an option . . . its a prerequisite.
13. We're allowed to be late . . . you are not.
14. Eye contact is key.
15. Don't take longer to get ready than we do.
16. Laugh at our jokes.
17. Three words . . . honesty, honesty, honesty.
18. Girls can be groupies. Guy groupies are stalkers.
19. We never have to wonder if your orgasm was real.
20. Do not start with us. You will not win.
21. Would you like it if a guy treated your sister that way? We didn't think so.
22. If you ask nicely, we usually answer the same way.
23. We will never have enough clothes or shoes!
24. We have an excuse to act bitchy at least once a month.
25. Open the door for us no matter where we are . . . even at our house and getting into the car.
26. We love surprises!
27. We liked to be kissed softly, not with an iron tongue.
28.Pay attention to the little things we do, because they mean the most.
29. Boxers and maybe boxer briefs sometimes . . . NEVER tighty-whities, NEVER!
30. Clean your room before we come over.
31. Always brush your teeth before you see us . . . a fresh mouth and white teeth are a necessity.
32. When we use our teeth it means that you suck at going down on us, so we are just returning the favor.
33. Even though you are sometimes insensitive and hurt us, we still love you with everything we are.
34. Hit it and quit it, because later I'll be with you're best friend and he lasts for hours.
35. Don't act hard around your friends because I won't make you hard tonight.
36. Sometimes "NO!" really means "NO!"
37. "Wife Beaters" are not an adequate form of fashion.
38. If we wanted to be on video tape, we'd be a porn star, not your girlfriend.
39. Sensitive guys are great . . . but crying more than we do in a movie just isn't right.
40. Don't let ex-girlfriends cause drama, relationships are stressful enough.
41. It takes a special kind of stupid to forget birthdays.
42. Guys who are good cuddlers = guys who know how to satisfy a woman.
43. "Fat Chicks" have feelings too.
44. Silent treatment, shoulder shrugs, tears, yelling and nasty looks all add up to . . . YOU DID SOMETHING WRONG!
45. If you are not a good dancer, please be self-aware.
46. Just because a girl doesn't pick up on the first ring doesn't mean she's not waiting by the phone.
47. You don't have to spend a lot, if it means a lot.
48. Don't say you love me if you don't mean it.
49. Don't lie to us . . . we will catch you.
50. When the girls get together, we talk about EVERYTHING. Meaning my best friends know everything about you
2. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
3. If you don't act like soap-opera guys, don't expect us to dress like Victoria Secret models.
4. Mark anniversaries on a calendar.
5. There is no such thing as too much spooning.
6. Just because you L the C doesn't mean we have to S the D.
7. This is how we see it . . . Don't call = Don't Care.
8. Which also means that if we don't call, take the hint.
9. We like you to be a little jealous . . . but overly possessive is not necessary.
10. Putting things in our butt does not turn us on.
11. Return favors: we massage, you massage; we go down, you go down; we shave, you shave (and not just your face).
12. Foreplay is not an option . . . its a prerequisite.
13. We're allowed to be late . . . you are not.
14. Eye contact is key.
15. Don't take longer to get ready than we do.
16. Laugh at our jokes.
17. Three words . . . honesty, honesty, honesty.
18. Girls can be groupies. Guy groupies are stalkers.
19. We never have to wonder if your orgasm was real.
20. Do not start with us. You will not win.
21. Would you like it if a guy treated your sister that way? We didn't think so.
22. If you ask nicely, we usually answer the same way.
23. We will never have enough clothes or shoes!
24. We have an excuse to act bitchy at least once a month.
25. Open the door for us no matter where we are . . . even at our house and getting into the car.
26. We love surprises!
27. We liked to be kissed softly, not with an iron tongue.
28.Pay attention to the little things we do, because they mean the most.
29. Boxers and maybe boxer briefs sometimes . . . NEVER tighty-whities, NEVER!
30. Clean your room before we come over.
31. Always brush your teeth before you see us . . . a fresh mouth and white teeth are a necessity.
32. When we use our teeth it means that you suck at going down on us, so we are just returning the favor.
33. Even though you are sometimes insensitive and hurt us, we still love you with everything we are.
34. Hit it and quit it, because later I'll be with you're best friend and he lasts for hours.
35. Don't act hard around your friends because I won't make you hard tonight.
36. Sometimes "NO!" really means "NO!"
37. "Wife Beaters" are not an adequate form of fashion.
38. If we wanted to be on video tape, we'd be a porn star, not your girlfriend.
39. Sensitive guys are great . . . but crying more than we do in a movie just isn't right.
40. Don't let ex-girlfriends cause drama, relationships are stressful enough.
41. It takes a special kind of stupid to forget birthdays.
42. Guys who are good cuddlers = guys who know how to satisfy a woman.
43. "Fat Chicks" have feelings too.
44. Silent treatment, shoulder shrugs, tears, yelling and nasty looks all add up to . . . YOU DID SOMETHING WRONG!
45. If you are not a good dancer, please be self-aware.
46. Just because a girl doesn't pick up on the first ring doesn't mean she's not waiting by the phone.
47. You don't have to spend a lot, if it means a lot.
48. Don't say you love me if you don't mean it.
49. Don't lie to us . . . we will catch you.
50. When the girls get together, we talk about EVERYTHING. Meaning my best friends know everything about you
What's Below Rock Bottom?
(21:21:59) Izzy: hey babe, cheered up yet?
(21:22:18) Kel: no
(21:22:35) Izzy: whats the matter?
(21:22:41) Izzy: :(
(21:23:54) Kel: life
(21:23:58) Kel: i'm lonely
(21:24:01) Kel: i'm bored
(21:24:04) Kel: i'm broke
(21:24:11) Kel: i have to go to court in the a.m.
(21:25:08) Izzy: poor girl, I wish I could help you out... I wish I can be a better friend
(21:25:16) Izzy: why do you have to go to court?
(21:26:52) Izzy: I dont mean to pry, sorry
(21:29:34) Izzy: hey if this will cheer you up, I got to put the image I made on t-shirts and stuff...
(21:32:10) Kel: no sry i was watchin a video
(21:32:22) Kel: court is for me getting arrested on jan 24
(21:32:44) Izzy: ouch, good luck kel
(21:32:49) Kel: i'm pleading guilty
(21:33:07) Kel: 6mos suspended license, 1-2 yr probation, 3 days in rehab, no jail, $500-ish fines
(21:33:16) Kel: plus the $1500 or so I owe my parents...
(21:33:30) Kel: and the $1075 I owe my xxx that xxx doesn't even know about
(21:33:40) Kel: and the $525 I owe the IRS
(21:33:52) Kel: and the $575 that I owe my atty for my bankruptcy
(21:34:06) Kel: and trying to save $2500 for a divorce lawyer
(21:34:23) Kel: the long term goal is to save $5k to move the hell away from here and start over somewhere
(21:34:30) Kel: but i have to take care of everything else first
(21:43:28) Izzy: so how is the car?
(21:43:44) Kel: fine
(21:43:50) Kel: sad that it can only be driven from 8-8
(21:22:18) Kel: no
(21:22:35) Izzy: whats the matter?
(21:22:41) Izzy: :(
(21:23:54) Kel: life
(21:23:58) Kel: i'm lonely
(21:24:01) Kel: i'm bored
(21:24:04) Kel: i'm broke
(21:24:11) Kel: i have to go to court in the a.m.
(21:25:08) Izzy: poor girl, I wish I could help you out... I wish I can be a better friend
(21:25:16) Izzy: why do you have to go to court?
(21:26:52) Izzy: I dont mean to pry, sorry
(21:29:34) Izzy: hey if this will cheer you up, I got to put the image I made on t-shirts and stuff...
(21:32:10) Kel: no sry i was watchin a video
(21:32:22) Kel: court is for me getting arrested on jan 24
(21:32:44) Izzy: ouch, good luck kel
(21:32:49) Kel: i'm pleading guilty
(21:33:07) Kel: 6mos suspended license, 1-2 yr probation, 3 days in rehab, no jail, $500-ish fines
(21:33:16) Kel: plus the $1500 or so I owe my parents...
(21:33:30) Kel: and the $1075 I owe my xxx that xxx doesn't even know about
(21:33:40) Kel: and the $525 I owe the IRS
(21:33:52) Kel: and the $575 that I owe my atty for my bankruptcy
(21:34:06) Kel: and trying to save $2500 for a divorce lawyer
(21:34:23) Kel: the long term goal is to save $5k to move the hell away from here and start over somewhere
(21:34:30) Kel: but i have to take care of everything else first
(21:43:28) Izzy: so how is the car?
(21:43:44) Kel: fine
(21:43:50) Kel: sad that it can only be driven from 8-8
19 February 2007
Not like dye like your hair is dyed...
Lyrics:
Lady when you came to me
I was feelin' blue
Blue just like your hair you see
Blue just like the moon
But only when the moon is blue
Not when it is cream
Now that you are here with me
I am in a dream
Lady when you go away
I feel like I could die
Not like dye like your hair is dyed
But Di like Lady Di
And not like Di like her name is Di
But die like when she died
Lady just like Lady Di
Be my princess tonight
But don't die
Don't die
Why I Cry Every Sunday
Every Sunday I read The Dispatch front to back. The only parts I skip are Sports and all the ads. It's very interesting to read the newspaper, because there are so many stories and articles on so many different topics that you just don't find on the internet. I mean, if you were looking for the info you could find it on the web, but it's all right there in the paper! Besides, you can't find what you don't know you're looking for. Anyway. There are usually two full pages of obituaries, which is really sad. That means so many people died, and so many people cared enough to write something about them, not to mention all the folks who passed away and didn't get an obituary. I usually cry over the people who were very old, who have really long passages about them and all the great things they did in their life, and I cry over the people who died really young. What gets me really choked up though are the "In Memoriam" blips. I've posted one below, it made me just bawl. Someone cares enough about this woman, still, after forty seven years, to remember her in the newspaper! So touching. I get a little annoyed that almost every obit says "So-and-so went home to be with the Lord", but I like it when they say things like "John Smith completed the final chapter of his life" or "Jane Doe ascended into heaven on Saturday" or "Joe Smith slipped from the bonds of this world into the next" and things like that. One got me really going, it said "The Lord whispered in her ear to come home to Him" or something similar. So touching! I hope someone writes a good obituary about me, like the one below. This woman was apparently frickin' awesome.
On a lighter note, I had a very boring weekend... except for Friday! I went out to Groucho's to have fun and meet a very nice boy. He took me home and stayed til 4am. It was all well and good. Yahoo!
On a lighter note, I had a very boring weekend... except for Friday! I went out to Groucho's to have fun and meet a very nice boy. He took me home and stayed til 4am. It was all well and good. Yahoo!
Bitch Slap!
My score on The Personality Defect Test:
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Bitch-Slap
(You are 42% Rational, 28% Extroverted, 71% Brutal, and 28% Arrogant.)
"You are the Bitch-Slap, the hallmark response of any abusive husband! You are more intuitive than others, focusing more on feelings than rational explanations, and you are also probably very brutual because you care more about yourself than the well-being of others. As all nagging wives know, brutality combined with emotion often leads to BITCH-SLAPPING, which is why you are called "The Bitch Slap". (That and because I find it amusing to accuse people of pummeling female dogs.) Your humility probably stems from insecurity, if anything, because people fond of slapping the shit out of someone in place of rational discussion are usually not humble in the way Jesus was humble. Possible sources of insecurity? A small penis, a small bank account, a small intelligence...gee, when you say "small" a lot, it stops sounding like a real word! Not only that, but you are also rather introverted, and any tendencies towards brutality you possess may also result from the fact that you bottle up your emotions and don't show them to others until you explode in rage like some sort of shaken soda can. Take it from me, it is much more rewarding to bottle beer over emotions. You can't get wasted on emotions. Aside from all my talk (and it's a lot of talk) you are probably not a VIOLENT person, just someone who is rather selfish and who makes decisions based upon emotional motives. At any rate, being a bitch-slap does not necessarily mean you will abuse your spouse (your body odor is no doubt abuse enough); it only means you are rather intuitive, uncaring toward others, brutal, introverted, and possibly insecure.
And sorry about that body odor remark if you really are insecure. I promise that you smell like roses. Being fertilized by cow shit.
To put it less negatively:
1. You are more INTUITIVE than rational.
2. You are more INTROVERTED than extroverted.
3. You are more BRUTAL than gentle.
4. You are more HUMBLE than arrogant.
Compatibility:
Your exact opposite is the &&&&Braggart.
Other personalities you would probably get along with are the &&&&Schoolyard Bully, the &&&&Class Clown, and the &&&&Brute.
*
*
If you scored near fifty percent for a certain trait (42%-58%), you could very well go either way. For example, someone with 42% Extroversion is slightly leaning towards being an introvert, but is close enough to being an extrovert to be classified that way as well. Below is a list of the other personality types so that you can determine which other possible categories you may fill if you scored near fifty percent for certain traits.
The other personality types:
&&&&The Emo Kid: Intuitive, Introverted, Gentle, Humble.
&&&&The Starving Artist: Intuitive, Introverted, Gentle, Arrogant.
&&&&The Bitch-Slap: Intuitive, Introverted, Brutal, Humble.
&&&&The Brute: Intuitive, Introverted, Brutal, Arrogant.
&&&&The Hippie: Intuitive, Extroverted, Gentle, Humble.
&&&&The Televangelist: Intuitive, Extroverted, Gentle, Arrogant.
&&&&The Schoolyard Bully: Intuitive, Extroverted, Brutal, Humble.
&&&&The Class Clown: Intuitive, Extroverted, Brutal, Arrogant.
&&&&The Robot: Rational, Introverted, Gentle, Humble.
&&&&The Haughty Intellectual: Rational, Introverted, Gentle, Arrogant.
&&&&The Spiteful Loner: Rational, Introverted, Brutal, Humble.
&&&&The Sociopath: Rational, Introverted, Brutal, Arrogant.
&&&&The Hand-Raiser: Rational, Extroverted, Gentle, Humble.
&&&&The Braggart: Rational, Extroverted, Gentle, Arrogant.
&&&&The Capitalist Pig: Rational, Extroverted, Brutal, Humble.
&&&&The Smartass: Rational, Extroverted, Brutal, Arrogant.
Be sure to take my Sublime Philosophical Crap Test if you are interested in taking a slightly more intellectual test that has just as many insane ramblings as this one does!
About Saint_Gasoline
I am a self-proclaimed pseudo-intellectual who loves dashes. I enjoy science, philosophy, and fart jokes and water balloons, not necessarily in that order. I spend 95% of my time online, and the other 5% of my time in the bathroom, longing to get back on the computer. If, God forbid, you somehow find me amusing instead of crass and annoying, be sure to check out my blog and my webcomic at SaintGasoline.com."
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Take it!
http://www.okcupid.com/tests/take?testid=4741219933576750506
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Bitch-Slap
(You are 42% Rational, 28% Extroverted, 71% Brutal, and 28% Arrogant.)
"You are the Bitch-Slap, the hallmark response of any abusive husband! You are more intuitive than others, focusing more on feelings than rational explanations, and you are also probably very brutual because you care more about yourself than the well-being of others. As all nagging wives know, brutality combined with emotion often leads to BITCH-SLAPPING, which is why you are called "The Bitch Slap". (That and because I find it amusing to accuse people of pummeling female dogs.) Your humility probably stems from insecurity, if anything, because people fond of slapping the shit out of someone in place of rational discussion are usually not humble in the way Jesus was humble. Possible sources of insecurity? A small penis, a small bank account, a small intelligence...gee, when you say "small" a lot, it stops sounding like a real word! Not only that, but you are also rather introverted, and any tendencies towards brutality you possess may also result from the fact that you bottle up your emotions and don't show them to others until you explode in rage like some sort of shaken soda can. Take it from me, it is much more rewarding to bottle beer over emotions. You can't get wasted on emotions. Aside from all my talk (and it's a lot of talk) you are probably not a VIOLENT person, just someone who is rather selfish and who makes decisions based upon emotional motives. At any rate, being a bitch-slap does not necessarily mean you will abuse your spouse (your body odor is no doubt abuse enough); it only means you are rather intuitive, uncaring toward others, brutal, introverted, and possibly insecure.
And sorry about that body odor remark if you really are insecure. I promise that you smell like roses. Being fertilized by cow shit.
To put it less negatively:
1. You are more INTUITIVE than rational.
2. You are more INTROVERTED than extroverted.
3. You are more BRUTAL than gentle.
4. You are more HUMBLE than arrogant.
Compatibility:
Your exact opposite is the &&&&Braggart.
Other personalities you would probably get along with are the &&&&Schoolyard Bully, the &&&&Class Clown, and the &&&&Brute.
*
*
If you scored near fifty percent for a certain trait (42%-58%), you could very well go either way. For example, someone with 42% Extroversion is slightly leaning towards being an introvert, but is close enough to being an extrovert to be classified that way as well. Below is a list of the other personality types so that you can determine which other possible categories you may fill if you scored near fifty percent for certain traits.
The other personality types:
&&&&The Emo Kid: Intuitive, Introverted, Gentle, Humble.
&&&&The Starving Artist: Intuitive, Introverted, Gentle, Arrogant.
&&&&The Bitch-Slap: Intuitive, Introverted, Brutal, Humble.
&&&&The Brute: Intuitive, Introverted, Brutal, Arrogant.
&&&&The Hippie: Intuitive, Extroverted, Gentle, Humble.
&&&&The Televangelist: Intuitive, Extroverted, Gentle, Arrogant.
&&&&The Schoolyard Bully: Intuitive, Extroverted, Brutal, Humble.
&&&&The Class Clown: Intuitive, Extroverted, Brutal, Arrogant.
&&&&The Robot: Rational, Introverted, Gentle, Humble.
&&&&The Haughty Intellectual: Rational, Introverted, Gentle, Arrogant.
&&&&The Spiteful Loner: Rational, Introverted, Brutal, Humble.
&&&&The Sociopath: Rational, Introverted, Brutal, Arrogant.
&&&&The Hand-Raiser: Rational, Extroverted, Gentle, Humble.
&&&&The Braggart: Rational, Extroverted, Gentle, Arrogant.
&&&&The Capitalist Pig: Rational, Extroverted, Brutal, Humble.
&&&&The Smartass: Rational, Extroverted, Brutal, Arrogant.
Be sure to take my Sublime Philosophical Crap Test if you are interested in taking a slightly more intellectual test that has just as many insane ramblings as this one does!
About Saint_Gasoline
I am a self-proclaimed pseudo-intellectual who loves dashes. I enjoy science, philosophy, and fart jokes and water balloons, not necessarily in that order. I spend 95% of my time online, and the other 5% of my time in the bathroom, longing to get back on the computer. If, God forbid, you somehow find me amusing instead of crass and annoying, be sure to check out my blog and my webcomic at SaintGasoline.com."
**************************************
Take it!
http://www.okcupid.com/tests/take?testid=4741219933576750506
15 February 2007
Kelly Ohio
Gettin' born in the state of Mississippi
Poppa was a copper and'a momma was a hippie
In Alabama she was swinging hammer
Price you gotta pay when you break the panorama
She never knew that there was anything more than poor
What in the world does your company take me for?
Black bandana, sweet Louisiana
Robbin'on a bank in the state of Indiana
She's a runner, rebel and a stunner
On her merry way saying baby what you gonna
Lookin' down the barrel of a hot metal .45
Just another way to survive
Chorus:
California rest in peace
Simultaneous release
California show your teeth
She's my priestess, I'm your priest
Yeah, yeah
She's a lover, baby and a fighter
Should've seen her coming when it got a little brighter
With a name like Dani California
Day was gonna come when I was gonna mourn ya
A little loaded she was stealing another breath
I love my baby to death
Chorus:
California rest in peace
Simultaneous release
California show your teeth
She's my priestess, I'm your priest
Yeah, yeah
Who knew the other side of you
Who knew what others tried to prove
Too true to say goodbye to you
Too true, too sad sad sad
Push the fader, gifted animator
One for the now and eleven for the later
Never made it, Up to Minnessota
North Dakota man was a gunnin' for the quota
Down in the badlands she was saving the best for last
it only hurts when I laugh
Gone too fast
Chorus:
California rest in peace
Simultaneous release
California show your teeth
She's my priestess, I'm your priest
Yeah, yeah
California rest in peace
Simultaneous release
California show your teeth
She's my priestess, I'm your priest
Yeah, yeah
Sisterhood of the Traveling... oh forget it.
So, last night I watched "Talladega Nights", which was very funny. Got kinda lame in the middle, but ended up being a pretty good movie. After that I watched "Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants", which made me bawl my eyes out like a little baby. I was crying so hard that I could barely breathe! It was a very good movie, but it made me sad, and not just from the plot.
I never had a solid group of friends while I was growing up. I had a couple best friends here and there, but never a little clique. I've had the same best friend since I was three, MEI, but she went to public school while we lived in Macedonia while I went to Catholic school, and then when we were eleven she moved away to Texas (very far from Ohio!!) I haven't seen her in person since then. In grade school (k-8) I had a series of friends: Marta, Katie, Sara, Michelle, Nichole, Sarah... I have a few of these people on my MySpace and/or Facebook, but I haven't really talked to them in a long time. I mean talk-talk, like sit down have a great conversation. I spent time with Sarah, but as she got farther into college life, got engaged, and has now moved to Kentucky, I haven't even seen her in about three years. I saw Michelle a few weeks ago when Poke and I went to dinner with her and her cousin, but it was just a reunion really, although it was very fun! I still talk to Sara, but I haven't seen her in almost eleven years, and now she's married and busy doing that stuff. I understand that people grow apart, that's not the issue. The thing is that I never had that bond with other girls like the bond in the movie.
Now I'm 25 years old, and I am starting to get that bond. I have GG, we've been friends for almost two years. I have Cat, who I have been friends with for four years and bet friends for about a year and a half. Add to that mix Psyn, RM, and Em, and I've actually got a real life group of friends! It made me kind of sad that I went through life without a solid group of friends, but it makes me happy that I'm getting one now that I'm older. But I think that if I had had a clique of friends growing up I probably wouldn't have turned out as fucked up as I did. When I was little and had a problem, I had no one to go to. Usually the problem was with my parents, so I couldn't go to them, and at that time my brother was too little to understand. I was literally alone in the world, and I felt it too. I think that might be why it's so hard for me to really open up to people, to really be genuine friends with girls. It's easier for me to talk to boys because I don't expect anything from them, but girls... girls like to backstab and lie, whore out and steal. Well, so I've thought... apparently that's not actually the case.
I guess that as I get older, I'll just have to force myself to understand this "female bond" that I've heard so much about and learn to accept it and embrace it. Cuz it's good for me.
Now, some pics. To lighten the mood.
This is my friend Dreggs at a museum in Philly.
14 February 2007
Snow Days!
w00t!
First, a funny cartoon:
Now, pics of SNOW!!
Now, pics of me and my cats after a shower!:
Now a pic of me in the news:
And a pic of me on my first trip to space:
First, a funny cartoon:
Now, pics of SNOW!!
Now, pics of me and my cats after a shower!:
Now a pic of me in the news:
And a pic of me on my first trip to space:
08 February 2007
Too much time on their hands.
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YAY!!
Tomorrow I get my driving privileges! BAM!
(Technically Saturday morning cuz I have to renew my license, but I'll have the papers before that! SHAZAM!)
I don't know why but I like that pic.
(Technically Saturday morning cuz I have to renew my license, but I'll have the papers before that! SHAZAM!)
I don't know why but I like that pic.
This is... Sussudio.
Patrick Bateman: I don't think we should see each other any more.
Evelyn Williams: Why? What's wrong?
Patrick Bateman: I need to engage in homicidal behaviour on a massive scale. It can not be corrected but I have no other way to fulfill my needs.
Patrick Bateman: There is an idea of a Patrick Bateman; some kind of abstraction. But there is no real me: only an entity, something illusory. And though I can hide my cold gaze, and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours and maybe you can even sense our lifestyles are probably comparable... I simply am not there.
Patrick Bateman: Ask me a question.
Daisy: What do you do?
Patrick Bateman: I'm into... well murders and executions mostly.
Daisy: Do you like it?
Patrick Bateman: It depends. Why?
Daisy: Because most guys I know who work with mergers and acquisitions really don't like it.
Patrick Bateman: Do you like Phil Collins? I've been a big Genesis fan ever since the release of their 1980 album, Duke. Before that, I really didn't understand any of their work. Too artsy, too intellectual. It was on Duke where, uh, Phil Collins' presence became more apparent. I think Invisible Touch was the group's undisputed masterpiece. It's an epic meditation on intangibility. At the same time, it deepens and enriches the meaning of the preceding three albums. Christy, take off your robe. Listen to the brilliant ensemble playing of Banks, Collins and Rutherford. You can practically hear every nuance of every instrument. Sabrina, remove your dress. In terms of lyrical craftsmanship, the sheer songwriting, this album hits a new peak of professionalism. Sabrina, why don't you, uh, dance a little. Take the lyrics to
07 February 2007
Dangerous Ghost
There's a ghost in my house! For real!
Last night, my cats were freaking out hardcore, like fuckin' ravers or heroin addicts or something. It was insane. I mean, they always freak out, but not like they were last night. It was ridiculous. So, as I'm sitting in the basement chattin' away on gaim and posting those silly vidoes in my semi-drunk irritated state of mind, I hear footsteps upstairs. I'm like "yeah right" and figure it's just the neighbors and their elephants practicing DanceDance Revolution while listening to classic rock (because it seems like that's how they spend their evenings) so I ignore it. Then I hear a door open, which I also ignore because I can hear the neighbors opening and closing their doors sometimes. Then I hear a glass break, clear as day. It was like, rightthereinmyear. I go upstairs, expecting to see some guilty lookin' pussies hiding behind the kitchen chairs, but no, they're all sleeping soundly. So I go back down to the basement, finish up my conversations, and as I'm logging off I hear a door close, which I ignore, again. I go upstairs, go to bed, and go to sleep. This morning when I wake up and do my regular morning routine, I've completely forgotten about the weirdness of the night before. I'm waiting on my ride to arrive, and I decide to us the half bath downstairs. I open the door and what lies before me but a busted wine glass and dried flower petals all over the toilet seat and the floor. This glass isn't just broken though, it's shattered. Very, very strange. And now it all makes sense.
I'm in a better mood today. Here is a new song I like.
Last night, my cats were freaking out hardcore, like fuckin' ravers or heroin addicts or something. It was insane. I mean, they always freak out, but not like they were last night. It was ridiculous. So, as I'm sitting in the basement chattin' away on gaim and posting those silly vidoes in my semi-drunk irritated state of mind, I hear footsteps upstairs. I'm like "yeah right" and figure it's just the neighbors and their elephants practicing DanceDance Revolution while listening to classic rock (because it seems like that's how they spend their evenings) so I ignore it. Then I hear a door open, which I also ignore because I can hear the neighbors opening and closing their doors sometimes. Then I hear a glass break, clear as day. It was like, rightthereinmyear. I go upstairs, expecting to see some guilty lookin' pussies hiding behind the kitchen chairs, but no, they're all sleeping soundly. So I go back down to the basement, finish up my conversations, and as I'm logging off I hear a door close, which I ignore, again. I go upstairs, go to bed, and go to sleep. This morning when I wake up and do my regular morning routine, I've completely forgotten about the weirdness of the night before. I'm waiting on my ride to arrive, and I decide to us the half bath downstairs. I open the door and what lies before me but a busted wine glass and dried flower petals all over the toilet seat and the floor. This glass isn't just broken though, it's shattered. Very, very strange. And now it all makes sense.
I'm in a better mood today. Here is a new song I like.
06 February 2007
Someone. Something.
Someone is in love with me and there is nothing I can do about it. Goddamn it. Yes I know this is my second post in less than an hour. Eat my fuck you fucking fucktards.
The FUCKING anger is coming back. GODDAMNIT!!! Why can't I be HAPPY?!?!?!?!
Anger must subside.
MUST.
I don't wanna be like that kid. Ok. Breathe.
Like we never loved at all.
The End.
The FUCKING anger is coming back. GODDAMNIT!!! Why can't I be HAPPY?!?!?!?!
Anger must subside.
MUST.
I don't wanna be like that kid. Ok. Breathe.
Like we never loved at all.
The End.
Bullshit.
God, I am so fucking tired of everything. Please just make it all go away. Give me a time machine and take me back to April 14th, 2002, and let me know what I know now. Please. I know it's a lot to ask, but I really need it.
Thanks.
(As if God ever listens to me. Bah. Fuck Garth Brooks and his Unanswered Prayers.)
PS- I wish I was like KFed and could make fun of myself. Maybe if I had money it would be easier.
Thanks.
(As if God ever listens to me. Bah. Fuck Garth Brooks and his Unanswered Prayers.)
PS- I wish I was like KFed and could make fun of myself. Maybe if I had money it would be easier.
If you need a dolla', holla'...
'Cuz I got a whole stack! Priceless. He should do a VISA commercial.
03 February 2007
My Friends Rule
My birthday party was so awesome last night. As soon as I finish the film roll, I will definitely be posting pics!
Em got me a camera and a card, Psyn and Stromp got me a t-shirt from Salem, MA, and Cat got me a TMNT shirt, a cock sucker, and a keychain with kitties on it, and a card. I was so loved! It was awesome. RM got me a rose too, I forgot. I was so happy that all the people showed up. Oh shit, I forgot that OH from work got me a vibrating whip! It was fucking hilarious. Everyone was buying me shots and stuff, I really felt loved. Lots of people were there too, Cat, RM, Tomcat, TJ, OA, Sanddog, Psyn, Stromp, D*Martin, OH, WW, Em... that's all I can remember. (Sorry if I left you out, lol!)
And now, some pictures:
Em got me a camera and a card, Psyn and Stromp got me a t-shirt from Salem, MA, and Cat got me a TMNT shirt, a cock sucker, and a keychain with kitties on it, and a card. I was so loved! It was awesome. RM got me a rose too, I forgot. I was so happy that all the people showed up. Oh shit, I forgot that OH from work got me a vibrating whip! It was fucking hilarious. Everyone was buying me shots and stuff, I really felt loved. Lots of people were there too, Cat, RM, Tomcat, TJ, OA, Sanddog, Psyn, Stromp, D*Martin, OH, WW, Em... that's all I can remember. (Sorry if I left you out, lol!)
And now, some pictures:
Here is where Dan signed my tit for my birthday.
This is what my tattoo looks like (someone asked to see it, so here ya go!)
These are my new glasses!
And my new glasses again!
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