Blue October.

Hate Me

I have to block out thoughts of you, so I don't lose my head
They crawl in like a cockroach leaving babies in my bed
Dropping little reels of tape to remind me that I'm alone
Playing movies in my head that make a porno feel like home
There's a burning in my pride, a nervous bleeding in my brain
An ounce of peace is all I want for you, Will you never call again?
And will you never say that you love me just to put it in my face
And will you never try to reach me, it is I that wanted space

(Chorus)
Hate me today.
Hate me tomorrow.
Hate me for all the things i didn't do for you.
Hate me in ways, yeah ways hard to swallow.
Hate me so you can finally see what's good for you.

(Verse 2)
I'm sober now for 3 whole months, it's one accomplishment that you helped me with.
The one thing that always tore us apart is the one thing I won't touch again.
In my sick way I want to thank you for holding my head up late at night
While I was busy waging wars on myself, you were trying to stop the fight
You never doubted my warped opinions on things like suicidal hate.
You made me compliment myself when it was way too hard to take
So I'll drive so fucking far away that I'll never cross your mind
And do whatever it takes in your heart to leave me behind

(Chorus)
Hate me today.
Hate me tomorrow.
Hate me for all the things i didn't do for you.
Hate me in ways, yeah ways hard to swallow.
Hate me so you can finally see what's good for you.

(Verse 3)
And with a sad heart I say bye to you and wave
Kicking shadows on the street for every mistake that I have made
And like a baby boy I never was a man
Until I saw your blue eyes cry and I held your face in my hand
And then I fell down yelling "Make it go away!"
Just make her smile come back and shine just like it used to be
And then she whispered "How can you do this to me?"

(Chorus)
Hate me today.
Hate me tomorrow.
Hate me for all the things i didn't do for you.
Hate me in ways, yeah ways hard to swallow.
Hate me so you can finally see what's good for you.


I love this song.

Did you put your grill in the mitzvah?

Aah, Jews. So entertaining, especially when they're at Hulk Hogan's house for a party. But I digress.

I know I haven't posted in awhile, but it's all good, cuz I really don't have anything to talk about. Life is wonderful, I got everything I wanted for Christmas, Poke and I are really happy together, and that's that. I'm a happy happy girl.

See you next year!!

Another reason!

Yet one more reason why I'm glad for the following decisions:

• Moving
• Getting off cocaine
• Eliminating TM from my life
• Spending my money on beer and not strippers

Click.

Then, observe the following images:


This is my old place, 30 seconds by car and 5 minutes by foot from Dockside Dolls, where TM and I used to hang out, get coke from strippers, and blah blah blah.



This is my new place, 15 minutes by car and not even an option by foot. THANK GOD.

I'm in love.

With Donald Trump. Click to find out why. I don't think this holiday season could get any better!

Various kinds of Pie

*yawn*
I am so completely unmotivated to write anything. It's like, I have no drama, I have plenty of money, and everything is going fine. The only thing is waiting for the bomb to drop. Whatever that bomb may be. So, instead of writing and telling you how much I love my life and my boyfriend and all that, I'll just post some pics. Love.


Alcomate really works!



Jazz Hands!


What is this, some kind of joke?

Baby Dego

Nothin' like a pint-sized Wop skank to get the party started! It's like a little, cooler SL! ROFL! Did I ever tell you how much I hate him? Oh, seriously, those of you who have ever even heard SL speak three words in a row will totally think of him within the first thirty seconds of this fuckin' video. OMG.



NSFW-L

More Surveys, I'm lame.

1. Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate?
Egg Nog

2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree?
Oh, he wraps them!

3. Colored lights on tree/house?
Yes! As long as they are straight. I hate crooked lights. Please don't look at my kitchen, the cats decided to play Tarzan on the lights.

4. Do you hang mistletoe?
No.

5. When do you put your decorations up?
2nd week of December

6. What is your favorite holiday dish (excluding dessert)?
Green Bean Casserole

7. Favorite Holiday memory as a child:
Sneaking down after "lights out" when I thought I could sneak a peak at Santa, but I got bored waiting and ate some of his cookies. My mom and dad were watching me wait for Santa, and suddenly turned the lights on and snapped a picture of me eating cookies! I look so guilty. I was about four I think.

8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa?
I was about six or seven, and I left a note for Santa to please give me his phone # so I could call him after Christmas and thank him for the presents. My frickin' dad left a note back, "from Santa" in HIS OWN HANDWRITING that said "phone is broke." *sniff*

9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve or Day?
Sometimes one on Christmas Eve and the rest on Christmas Day.

10. How do you decorate your Christmas tree?
I don't. The kittens would destroy it.

11. Snow! Love it or Dread?
Love the snow, dread the drivers.

12. Can you ice skate?
Not really, I'm top heavy.

13. Do you remember your favorite gift?
Any and all Barbies ever received.

14. What's the most important thing about the Holidays for you?
Presents! Nah, just kiddin'. Love and all that stuff.

15. What is your favorite Holiday Dessert?
Swedish cookies.

16. What is your favorite holiday tradition?
... Don't really have one anymore...

17. What tops your tree?
n/a, no tree!

18. Which do you prefer giving or receiving?
I like to give unexpected gifts that I know people will like, and I like the surprise of getting something I never expected.

19. What is your favorite Christmas Song?
God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen.

20. Candy Canes! Yuck or Yum?
Yuck.



Drinking Buddy of The Year?
D*Martin, Poke, SL (but not anymore), KP.

Lifetime service award - Longest friend
The Lilly Kat.

High Point of the year?
Finally dating Poke for real.

Low point of the year?
SL.

Best holiday?
They were all pretty good... Thanksgiving ruled...

Anthem for 2006?
SEXYBACK!

Any regrets?
SL.

Best Night out?
Nov. 15th.

Worst Night out?
When my ex was at Brewstirs and bought me drinks and SL got pissed.

Best concert?
n/a.

Best New Relationship/Friend?
Poke! Friend... Psyndi

Best decision made all year?
Leaving SL.

Best new album that you have got?
n/a

Proudest moment?
Standing up for myself and not backing down.

Most reliable person?
GG, Moose, Cat.

Best job of the year?
That blow job I gave the other day...

Best Film?
Saw I, II, III.

Rate 2006 on a scale of 1-10(best)
7.

Plans for 07?
I don't even want to think about it!

Best friend (not gf/bf)?
GG, D*Martin.




** JANUARY **

1. Where did you spend New Years Eve?
Stank New Jersey.

2. Did you have a new year's resolution that year?
Yes

3. Does it snow where you live?
Yes

4. Do you like hot chocolate?
Yes

5. Have you ever been to Times Square to watch the ball drop?
Fuck that.

** FEBRUARY **

1. Who was your Valentine?
SL

2. When you were little, did you buy valentines for all of your classmates?
Yes.

3. Do you care if the groundhog sees its shadow or not?
He lies anyway!

** MARCH **

1. Are you Irish?
My name is

2. Did you wear green on St. Patty's Day?
Yes, kinda.

3. What did you do for St. Patty's Day in 2006?
Zuey's w/KP and GG showed up later on.

4. Are you happy when winter is pretty much over?
Eh, not really cuz I hate summer and it's on the way when winter ends.

** APRIL **

1. Do you like the rain?
Yes.

2. Did you play an April fool's joke on anyone this year?
I don't remember

3. Do you get tons of candy on Easter?
No

4. Do you celebrate 4/20?
If by celebrate you mean did I smoke weed, then no.

5. Do you love the month of April?
Well, it's the month SJK was born, and he's my #1 favorite brother of all time, so... kinda?

** MAY **

1. What's your favorite kind of flower?
Lilac.

2. Do you like the spring?
It's okay, not as good as Fall though.

3. Finish the phrase "April showers":
Make things wet.

4. What is the first color you think of when you think of Spring?
Yellow.

** JUNE **

1. Did you graduate high school yet?
Yes, six years ago.

2. Did you realize nothing special happens in June?
Definitely.

** JULY **

1. What did you do on the Fourth of July?
Went to J1/J2's house... ate some food... I think we might have gone to karaoke...?

2. Did you go on any vacations during this month?
Nope.

3. Do you blast the A/C all day?
Nope.

** AUGUST **

1. Did you do anything special at the end of your summer?
Broke up with SL.

2. What was your favorite summer memory of '06?
n/a.

3. Did you have a sunburn?
Yes, omg...!

4. Do you go to the beach a lot?
Yeah, totally! There are SO MANY beaches in OHIO... wtf.

** SEPTEMBER **

1. Did you attend school/college in '06?
No.

2. Who is your favorite teacher?
Mrs. LaPierre

3. Do you like fall better than summer?
YES!

** OCTOBER **

1. What was your Halloween costume?
n/a

2. What's your favorite candy?
Charleston Chew.

3.What did you do for Halloween?
I think... nothing.

** NOVEMBER**

1. Whose house do you go to for Thanksgiving?
My parents'.

2. Do you love stuffing?
YES.

3. What are you thankful for?
Friends, family, life.

** DECEMBER **

1. Do you celebrate Christmas?
Yes

2. If not, what do you celebrate?
See above, moron.

3. Have you ever been kissed under mistletoe?
Yes.

4. Get anything special last year?
Motherfuckin' crock pot!!!

End of Year 2006

What did you do in 2006 that you'd never done before? Stood up for myself and succeeded.
Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year? Yes I kept them, and I'm sure I'll make more.
Did anyone close to you give birth? Not this year!
Did anyone close to you die? My very good friend, Crash, and my mom's cat (even though the cat didn't like me!)
What countries did you visit? None! Again!
What would you like to have in 2007 that you lacked in 2006? More money and a divorce (same fucking answer from last year.)
What date from 2006 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? March 21st, SL moved here. Sept. 21st he moved back to FL. Oct. 23rd Crash died. Nov. 18th the Buckeyes beat Michigan! Nov. 15th Poke and I officially hooked up.
What was your biggest achievement of the year? Starting bankruptcy.
What was your biggest failure? Still not getting a divorce, letting SL move into my life.
Did you suffer illness or injury? Actually, no, other than being beaten. Oh wait, I had a hole on the inside of my nose! It was painful.
What was the best thing you bought? Poke's Christmas gift.
Whose behavior merited celebration? Poke's. He finally figured it out, and I'm happy.
Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? SL.
Where did most of your money go? Bills.
What did you get really, really, really excited about? In the beginning of the year, it was SL moving in. Later in the year it was finally getting away from him that was exciting. The best though was every time I'd see Poke. I still get excited to see him.
What song will always remind you of 2006? SexyBack.

Compared to this time last year, are you:

Happier or sadder? Happier.
Thinner or fatter? Slightly thinner. I'm gettin' there.
What do you wish you'd done more of? Not take shit from shinolas.
What do you wish you had done less of? Drink beer.
Did you fall in love in 2006? Yes.
How many one-night stands? One.
What was your favorite TV program? Law & Order SVU.
Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? SL.
What was the best book you read? "Deception Point" by Dan Brown.
What was your greatest musical discovery? "Call me when you're sober" in the style of Evanescence performed by ME!
What did you want and get? Poke. For real. I wanted him since I met him.
What was your favorite film of this year? Saw I, II, III.
What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I met w/SL, TD, and GMc at Fiesta Jalisco, and I turned 24.
What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? Getting a divorce (again, same answer as last year.)
How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2006? Like last year, I tried to dress more girly. This time I succeeded more than last year.
What kept you sane? GG. Beer.
Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? Justin Timberlake. I'm bringin' sexy BACK!
What political issue stirred you the most? All of them. It's all fucking bullshit and I'm kinda pissed.
Who did you miss? MF. Crash. GMc
Who was the best new person you met? Psyndi/DL, Dooger, HB, all the other folks at karaoke, I can't name them all! Too many!
Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2006: NEVER TRUST A LIAR NO MATTER WHAT HE TELLS YOU OR HOW MUCH HE APOLOGIZES.
Quote a song lyric that sums up your year: "At last..."

Hi Pasto.

I still don't feel like writing actual posts, I'm sorry. But it's not cuz I'm sad or anything, I just don't really feel like writing. The short of the long of it is as follows:

• GG's still in PA, *sniff*
• Poke and I are happier than ever.
• All my Christmas shopping is done.
• I'm not broke and I don't owe anyone money.
• SL threatened to kill me so I went to the cops and they called him on the phone.
• I'm starting to like karaoke again.
• I can't wait til Christmas eve with Poke!

Ok, now, a survey. Thank you.


One Word Survey.

1. Yourself:
Chub

2. Your boyfriend/girlfriend?
Poke

3. Your hair?
Awesome

4. Your mother?:
Sausage

5. Your Father:
Spike

6. Your Favorite Item:
Penis

7. Your dream last night:
Nonexistent

8. Your Favorite drink:
Beer

9. Your Dream Car:
Mustang

10. The room you are in:
Office

11. Your Ex's:
Lame

12. Your fear:
Pain

13. What you want to be in 10 years:
Alive

14. Who you hung out with last night?
Poke

15. What You're Not?
Skinny

16. Muffins:
Yuck

17: One of Your Wish List Items:
GreatDane

18: Time:
Slow

19. The Last Thing You Did:
Click

20. What You Are Wearing:
Eagles

21. Your Favorite Weather:
Frosty

22. Your Favorite Book:
Classic

23. The last thing you ate:
Hashbrown

24. Your Life:
Dramatic

25. Your Mood:
Chartreuse

26. Your friend:
Pretty

27. What are you thinking about right now?
Sex

28. Your car:
Mustang

29. What are you doing at the moment?
Typing

30. Your summer:
Awful

31. Your relationship status:
Ecstatic

32. What is on your tv?
Lamp

33. What is the weather like?
Confusing

34. When is the last time you laughed?
Eleven

Some pics.

I don't really feel like talking today. Here are some pretty pictures for you.

Here is Poke, being beastly.


Clarification of the smoking ban.




Poke talking to the owner of my company!! What a great boyfriend!!



Me with curly hair.


My friend BP. Lucky bitch is in Hawai'i right now on her honeymoon.



Me and BP.

Doron.

Doron and I had a VERY graphic conversation this morning.
To see it, click here.
I'm still smiling... I had to smoke a cigarette, it was that great.

Working Girls

This is me, OH, and KG from work, lol.

Fuck the grandkids!

Oh, last night was most wonderful. I talked to Poke (well, text messaged) while I was at work and asked what time he might come over. He said as soon as I got home, so I told him I was leaving at six and to head over whenever he wanted. Well, since it was raining cows and sheep (that would be harder rain than cats and dogs!) I got home around twenty after six and he was already there. BE from my work had bought KG and me these awesome Mikasa candlesticks for a Christmas present, and I was happy that Poke left the door unlocked because I sure had my hands full! I made some dinner for myself, cuz he had already eaten before he came over, and we watched this lame fucking show on VH-1 about niggers. For real. It was supposedly about not being racist, but all they talked about was nigger this and nigger that. They actually said the word nigger on VH-1. My favorite line was when this supposed doctor guy was talking about how Arabs are the new black people, how it's their "turn" to be the targets or whatver, and he says "Sand nigger, meet street nigger." I almost dropped my plate.

Poke and I were meeting up with JW at Spoonz, so when JW called around 7:15 we headed out there. It was a nice time. I like that place, it's pretty quiet, not all drunk and rowdy, and not to mention it's where Poke and I became an official couple. *grin* Speaking of, as of Friday we will have been together for a month! Yay! After hanging out at Spoonz we headed over to North Pointe Tavern for some karaoke, which was fun, and I got to meet some folks I heard about that are in this band that Poke knows. One of the dudes works at Mitchell's and he remembered me wandering into the kitchen when I got lost, omg. It was a fun time, I saw RD who is VM's and AK's ex-girlfriend, she talked my ear off but she's very nice and I was drunk anyway.
We got home around two, I made jalapeno poppers and potato skins (lol) and we chowed down while we watched this video (NSFW-V, it's R. Budd Dwyer committing suicide on live TV from 1987) and some other videos and played around on the computer. I think we finally went to bed at like 3:30 or 4:00am. It was late.

This morning when I woke up I really didn't want to get out of bed. But Poke was awake and he asked me if I wanted some water, which I really did, so I got up anyway. I showered while he watched TV and then I went to work and as soon as I left I missed Poke a lot. I'm so girly sometimes! Haha, I sounded like GG just then.

Tonight I will go home, nap, eat some FBP, and watch Instinct, one of my favorite movies. Tomorrow I will see Poke! Yay!

I stole it from Dickeybird.

Finish the sentence!

1. I've come to realize that my family...
- is slightly insane.
2. I am listening to...
- Rosemary Clooney "Mambo Italiano"
3. I talk...
- with a Cleveland accent when I'm drunk or angry.
4. I love...
- Poke.
5. My best friend...
- is far away right now.
6. My first kiss was...
- in preschool with Kevin Krusoe
7. I lost my virginity...
- by accident.
8. I hate it when people...
- lie.
9. Love is...
- us.
10. Marriage is...
- fine.
11. Somewhere, someone is thinking...
- "I should buy Kel a beer the next time I see her."
12. I'll always...
- be fat, unfortunately.
13. I have a secret crush on...
- that one girl.
14. The last time I cried was because...
- Poke said something really nice.
15. My cell phone...
- rules.
16. When I wake up in the morning...
- I dread the day.
17. Before I go to sleep at night...
- I set my alarm for six just in case Poke wants to come over.
18. Right now I am thinking about...
- sleep, which I need oh so badly.
19. Babies are...
- something I can't have.
20. I get on myspace....
- because I'm obsessed with looking at things and filling out forms and answering questions.
21. Today I...
- am completely bored.
22. Tonight I will...
- nap after I eat pizza.
23. Tomorrow I will...
- see Poke! Yay!
24. I really want...
- the lap band.
25. The person who most likely to repost this is...
- no one.

Sweetest Boyfriend Ever

----------------- Bulletin Message -----------------
From: Kel
Date: Dec 9 2006 10:47 AM

Dear Kel,
I _love___ you.
You have a nice__rack____.
You make me __proud of myself_____.
You should _stop worrying about money______.
You + me =_sexy time!_______.
If I saw you now I'd _hand you a beer_________.
I want to _fuck_______ you.
I would build a _tribute band______ just for you.
If I could sing you any song it would be _Baby Got Back
We could __dance ________ under the stars.
Love,
____Poke___________

(P.S. _I feel gay now, but I hope you like it )


Oh, the wonders of MySpace!

Tis the Season

Thursday Poke and I went to see Borat at Studio 35. It was not as funny as I thought it would be. I laughed a lot, for the first... hour or so... yeah. Then it was just like "ok, you can finish this movie now." Afterwards we hung out and talked to the guys who worked there, who know my ex-boyfriend JJN (he used to be the asst manger), and they gave us some beers and popcorn and it was pretty fuckin' fun. I love that place. Drinking beer while watching a movie isn't bad either!

Afterwards we headed out to New Albany to see Zara and do some karaoke. Moose was there, and some people that Poke knew were there too. It was a super fun time, we got to sing a lot, and it was very nice to hang out in a place where it wasn't just a bunch of fucking drunk people. Also, there was a couch and a fireplace. It was good. We went home and had crazy fuckin' sex. OMG. The only reason I tell you this, since I'm not necessarily in the habit of discussing my sex life when it's with someone I'm actually seriously dating, is because something really funny happened. Poke had put some porn on, I don't even remember what it was. "Leave it to Cleavage" I think. So we're banging away, and I realise that I am hearing echoes of myself in the background. I kinda quiet down for a minute, and that is when I figure out that the girl who is gettin' fucked on the video sounds just like me. At times we were moaning in unison. It was fucking hilarious. Oh my god. For real.

Friday I had the day off, since I have so many vacation days left. We woke up early, about eight, and laid in bed until ten thirty when I finally got up and showered. We headed over to Kroger to get his paycheck, to Barnes & Noble to look around, and then got some food at Charley's Subs. I love Charley's! It's so good! And they have the best fries... mmmmm... We were thinking about going to the mall, but Poke was like "No way. We just did this exact same thing two weeks ago." Which was true, because the day after Thanksgiving we really did do the same thing. So we opted to skip the mall this time, and went to Circuit City and Best Buy to look for a gift for his mom. Poke's brother had said something about a computer desk, but we couldn't find a good one. Poke did find this movie/documentary about Slipknot that he wanted, so that was good I guess! After that we stopped at Blockbuster and I got Beerfest, which I think is a hilarious movie. Well, not hilarious, but very funny. Then we went home and Poke left to go sleep and I took a nap on the couch. I decided that there was no way I could survive on crackers and jello for a whole week, so I borrowed $80 from the bank and went grocery shopping. I tell you what, I did a very good job since I got a ton of food and only spent $75! Yay!

So as I'm watching Beerfest, my phone rings. It's a number that I don't recognize, obviously not in my caller ID, and I almost don't answer it. Something tells me I might as well, and I do, and it's one of my best friends from high school, BP!! I was so excited to hear from her. It absolutely made my month. So she tells me that she just got married in October, and she and her wife moved into a place down the road from her mom in Lake Chocktaw (sp? I dunno.) Then she says that her wife runs these karaoke shows, and I should come by sometime. Well we all know how much I LOVE karaoke, so I planned on going to their show at Blazers since it's closest to my house. Turns out that show is on Saturday!

Saturday I laid around all day and did some laundry and dishes and stuff. I decided to go to the karaoke show, which turned out to be super super fun. I got to sing about four or five times, hung out with BP, and it was awesome. Her wife is very nice too. I can't remember her last name but as soon as I do, she'll get some initials, lol. I stayed there until about two, and as I was getting my tab this lady was like "You're too pretty to be straight" and I told her that I had tried to be a lesbian once and it just didn't work out. Not to mention that I love the slap of a nut sack on my ass. It's just great. Oh! I forgot to mention that TM showed up with his girlfriend that looks just like his wife. He didn't even recognize me at first, until he was up singing and just started staring at me. It finally dawned on him who I was, and the look on his face was priceless. After his song, they left. Hehehe. RM had been texting me to come to Groucho's, so after I left Blazer's I headed over there. She and I sang our song, "Does he love you" by Reba McEntire and some other chick, and it was good. RM was losing her voice a little, but it still sounded fine. I got home around 2:45am, drank a beer and watched TV until around five thirty when I finally fell asleep. Poke called me at seven and said he was on his way over. Yay!

Poke ended up drinking fourteen beers. We watched Beerfest and he did NOT like it. We watched porn from about nine thirty til two thirty, had some really crazy fucking in between, and I finally put him to bed around 2:30pm. LOL. At one point we were actually talking and I was like "You're pretty!" and he laughed and then I said "Hey you should tell me that I'm pretty instead of me telling you all the time" and he looked at me, but before he could say anything, I used his own line on him and said, "I don't have to say it, it's a given!" He laughed again and proceeded to tell me how beautiful I was on the night of the Christmas party, and how he told JW (his best friend) all about it, and how I am the best girl he's ever met. I almost cried.

After putting Poke to sleep I ate some lunch and passed out on the couch til six pm. Watched some TV, took a shower, and made spaghetti and garlic bread for dinner. I didn't even have to wake him up because he got up around eight fifteen, just as dinner was about to be done. Poor guy had a headache! I wasn't surprised, since he always gets headaches after drinking, especially fourteen beers. After dinner we watched some TV and just laid around, til nine forty five when he left for work. I decided to go to Brewstir's, since I hadn't been there in weeks. It was a pretty fun time, until the end when Cat got all pissed off about the smoking ban. She was very angry, and we couldn't figure out why. I hope she's better today. I got home around three am, drank a beer, ate some chips, and went to sleep.

All in all, a wonderful weekend.

PS - I was just reading the Q&A on the smoking ban, and wonder of all wonders, tax went up to 7.4% to compensate for lost business due to non-smoking establishments. What the fuck.

Schnitzelbank

This was my favorite song from the Animaniacs!

This is the real thing.

Why don't You and I
Santana feat. Chad Kroeger

Since the moment I spotted you
Like walking 'round with little wings on my shoes
My stomach's filled with the butterflies
And it's alright
Bouncing round from cloud to cloud
I got the feelin' like I'm never gonna come down
If I said I didn't like it then you know I'd lied

Every time I try to talk to you
I get tongue-tied
Turns out, everything I say to you
Comes out wrong and never comes out right

So I'll say why don't you and I get together an' take on the world, be together forever
Heads we will and tails we'll try again
So I say why don't you and I hold each other, fly to the moon
and straight on to heaven
Cause without you they're never gonna let me in

When's this fever gonna break ?
I think I've handled more than any man can take
I'm like a love-sick puppy chasing you around
And it's alright
Bouncin' round from cloud to cloud
I got the feeling like I'm never gonna come down
If I said I didn't like it then you know I'd lied

Every time I try to talk to you
Get tongue-tied
Turns out, everything I say to you
Comes out wrong and never comes out right

So I'll say why don't you and I get together an' take on the world
and be together forever
Heads we will and tails we'll try again
So I say why don't you and I get together, fly to the moon
and straight on to heaven
Cause without you they're never gonna let me in

Slowly I begin to realize this is never gonna end
But about the same time you walk by
And I say oh here we go again, oh

Every time I try to talk to you
I get tongue-tied
Turns out, everything I say to you
Comes out wrong and never comes out right

So I'll say why don't you and I get together an' take on the world
and be together forever
Heads we will and tails we'll try again
So I say why don't you and I hold each other, fly to the moon
and straight on to heaven
Cause without you they're never gonna let me in

So I'll say why don't you and I get together take and on the world
and be together forever
Heads we will and tails we'll try again
So I say why don't you and I hold each other, fly to the moon
and straight on to heaven
Cause without you they're never gonna let me in

So I`ll say why don't you and I get together and take on the world
and be together forever
Heads we will and tails we'll try again

Snow! Yay!

First "major" snowfall of the season today, it was about one inch, but it covered the parking lot and made it slippery. The good news is, no more snow. The bad news is, temperatures dropping steadily throughout the day and that could mean ice. The mediocre news is, next week it's supposed to be in the fifties. Goddamn Ohio.


So, last night, I had one of the most fucked up dreams EVER. I know, I know, I've said that before. But this one was so real that I woke up and thought it was real. I'll explain more on that later. Here's what happened:

I was at home, brushing my cats. They had been scratching a lot, and I thought they might need some conditioner, so I gave them a comb before I was going to put them in the tub. Turned out that they had a terrible flea infestation. There were so many fleas on them that after combing them for an hour I still had more fleas to remove. I was freaking out. Finally I got tired of it and just tied them to the kitchen table legs and started spraying them with pet-friendly flea spray. The fleas were falling off and dying on the floor and making small piles around the cats, who were freaking out. I eventually gave up and just left them tied there, soaking in flea spray, and got ready for work. I took a shower and got dressed in jeans and a sweatshirt, because apparently it was Friday. I went to work and was just doing what I normally do, and somehow KG found out I was pregnant. I guess I had been hiding this from everyone for awhile. She didn't know that no one else knew, and started mentioning things to them, which made them all look at me funny like, "We thought she was just fat, not pregnant." I went into DE's office to go over some files, and he said something to the effect of, "Is there something you need to tell me?" So I told him I was indeed pregnant, and I was due in two weeks, and I hadn't been 100% positive the whole time because I was having break through bleeding (yes, I actually told my boss this, but he has a wife and two kids so he knows what pregnancy is about) and I had taken three pregnancy tests and two out of three came out positive and the other was negative. But I could feel the baby inside me kicking and my belly was growing, and he mentioned that he wondered why I had been wearing a lot of big sweaters. We agreed that I would take the rest of the month off (December) since my baby was due on December 21st, and I would get paid for it. This was all fine and wonderful, until he asked me who the father was, and I said "well, obviously it's Poke" and then he asked me if my family knew, and I said no... and neither did Poke's family. In fact, Poke didn't even know. I was the only one who really knew, and KG had just kinda figured it out. The dream ended with me sitting on a couch in a department store waiting for my mom, Poke, and Poke's mom to get there so I could tell them the news.

Ok. So, this is all very fucked up because I'm definitely not pregnant, and if I was, I sure would not hide it for nine months or even at all, not to mention that it would be fairly impossible. I woke up and I was all freaked out because Poke wasn't there (even though I knew he might not come over after work) and the news said it was snowing and in my dream it was snowing, and I really thought it was all real. So fuckin' weird man.

The Best of Me

Stolen idea from this girl, who is very very entertaining!
Happy St. Nicholas Day! Remember to put your shoes out!

I talk about how much I hate February and ramble about stupid stuff that happened.

I dispel myths and actualize facts.

Lots of sex and my first airplane ride.

The Brother-Fucker!

The Italian and the Psycho.

More on the Psycho!

Poke appears for the first time.

Poke hints at feelings!

Our first date/my first MRI.

Kel-Bell is clever. (You don't have to read past the first five lines.)

SL appears.

It all becomes clear now.

Some Random Junk.

Damn MySpace and Brazilian Wax. (NSFW-L)

First time I catch SL in a lie.

End of 2005 Survey.

Can't Understand Normal Truth (or "drama".)

Buy My Book!

One of my favorite effed up dreams.

The beginning of the end.

Future prediction, other than the teeth...

SL's finally gone.

Poke loves me!


I hope you like reading these posts, they are totally and completely random!

This is really going to happen.

NSFW- L
(By the way, I'm using the American TV ratings system to rate the videos/websites, cuz I'm a geek like that.)

* V for intense violence
* S for sexual situations
* L for coarse language
* D for highly suggestive dialogue

Random Conversation.

AM: Hey Yo...whats up G?
Kel: yo!
Kel: /me is that happiest girl EVER
AM: why is that?
Kel: well
Kel: we were banging
Kel: and he said he loved me
Kel: w/out any prompting
Kel: hehehe or conversation about love
AM: wow
Kel: yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Kel: brb
AM: ok
Kel: k abck
Kel: back rather
AM: gotcha
AM: lol so what exactly were you doing to him when he said he loved you?
Kel: i was... uh... clenching?
Kel: :-D
AM: lol
AM: yeah that'll do it
Kel: lol
Kel: well it wasn't the 1st time he said it
AM: lol I am so kidding
AM: but I will tell KM I love her stupid bitch cousin when she is clenching too
Kel: haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahaha
Kel: nice.
Kel: but it was even better this morning because the other 2x he's said it, kinda went like this
Kel: 1st time: me: "I know you love me." poke: "Yes I do." me: "Oh, I was kidding" poke: "I'm not"
Kel: oh actually it was 3x
AM: wow nice
Kel: 2nd time: me: "Yay! My boyfriend! Now what?" poke: "You know how much I care about you right?" me: "Yep." poke: "well I love you, too" (too as in as well)
Kel: 3rd time: me: "That was the most fun night of my life" poke: "I'm glad" me: "..." poke: "I love you."
Kel: yahoo!!!
Kel: lol
Kel: this morning: me: "hi..." poke: "I missed you" me: "I missed you too and it's only been one whole day!" me: "moan, etc." poke: "i love you"
AM: wow that pretty much rocks
Kel: :-D
Kel: hell yeah
Kel: i thought so too
AM: yeah I was trying to fill in the thrusts and moans in my head
Kel: oh yeah, and I forgot to add in the 3rd time that we had a quick discussion about saying I love you, and he was like "well you know I love you, it's a given" and I'm like "I do know, but it's nice to hear once in awhile."
Kel: apparently he pays attention!!
Kel: lol yeah moan, etc. doesn't really give a detailed description, does it?
AM: lol not at all
AM: and its details girl .. details
Kel: haha
Kel: well
Kel: i mean, its not something i can really describe
Kel: unless i'm like "inhale sharply, slight moan, oh god oh god moan oh god, mo-oooan... breathe breathe breathe"
Kel: heheheheheh
Kel: then it could sound like i'm giving birth too though
AM: LOL
AM: hey sometimes it sounds the same ;-)
AM: and it all works
AM: the vocal part is like 60% of it ya know
AM: ;-)
Kel: for real
AM: maybe even 75
AM: that alone is enough to work .. for me anyway
Kel: one time this dude was like "can you please shut up" and i'm like wow how insulting
Kel: found out later it was cuz it was enough to push him over hahahaha i was like oooooooh ok neato.
AM: wow
AM: I wouldnt mind something pushing me over right now
Kel: go see yer wife!
AM: well .. .I am chained to my desk now
AM: I wasnt suggesting YOU do it
AM: lol
AM: ya nut case
Kel: duh man
Kel: i knew that
Kel: i was offering suggestion!
AM: LOL
Kel: lmfao
AM: well I appreciate it
Kel: i do what i can.

Let's see if this works!

Thanks to Dickeybird! ::muah::
NSFW - LV

So far today...

I have:

1. Had sex
2. Been told "I love you"
3. Taken a shower
4. Gone grocery shopping
5. Smoked a cigarette
6. Made sausage
7. Told someone I love them, twice
8. Looked at my bank account online
9. Pet the cats
10. Cut my finger
11. Made Tea
12. Listened to Old School Punk Music
13. Checked my email
14. Finished four christmas gifts
    

And it's only 10:00AM!!!

Another Pic

Here is a very large pic, taken by Poke, from the Christmas party.

Merry Christmas! Almost...!

/me is the happiest girl in the world.

Friday night I stayed home and put up my Christmas decorations. Poke was supposed to be coming over after the Sepultura concert, but I didn't know what time that would be, so I went to Blockbuster and got Clerks II and proceeded to get drunk. Around 1:00am he called me and said he was on his way over, so I unlocked the door for him and fell asleep on the couch. He came in around 1:30am and woke me up, and I was startled by the sight of him because he was dripping blood from his eyebrow. He told me he got headbutted in the face, but I didn't know it was that bad. I got up and got him a towel and some bandaids and neosporin, and I played Florence Nightingale and cleaned him up good. The cut wasn't that bad, it was just bleeding a lot. He had crashed to the floor when he got headbutted, so his knee was all fucked up too. I had him hold some frozen vegetables over it, lol. In the bag of course. I tucked him in with a blanky and he fell straight to sleep.

Saturday I pretty much chilled because the company christmas party was that night. I got all prettied up and we went to Mitchell's, which absolutely ruled. We had an awesome time, and I was so proud of Poke for sitting next to the owner of my company and carrying on a conversation with him. It was great. I drank so much wine and I was quite drunk by the time we left. Poke drank Blue Moon all night, yuck yuck yuck. I got to meet OH's boyfriend, who was pretty cool, and see everyone's spouses that I haven't seen in awhile. It was so fun. I had filet mignon for dinner, Poke had filet mignon and lobster tails, and we shared mashed potatoes and broccoli. We got this Drunken Turtle cake for desert, but I could only eat one bite because it was so rich. Too sweet for me! We had a wonderful time, the only thing I didn't like about it was that every time I had to pee I had to pretty much completely undress because of the damn bodysuit underwear I was wearing, and it just got so annoying. Tab for the evening: $0. Tab for the company: $4000+. Yayhoo!! Hahaha. I wasn't too wasted when we left, but I could have been less wasted if things had moved a bit quicker... we literally drank for three hours before our food even got there, and steak and broccoli are probably the worst foods for absorbing alcohol. Seriously.

After Mitchell's we headed down to Skully's to see our friend's band play. They were supposed to go on at midnight but they didn't go on until closer to one. I saw this guy Maris that I knew from Outlands seven years ago, and he remembered me. He was dressed up all like a scary monster, and we kept going "Aaaaahhhhrrrrgggh" and showing tongues. Poke's friends were there, some of them are my friends, and I met some folks that I had known of but never actually met in person. The band was great, I had never seen them play before, and I especially liked the lead singer because 1) his voice was awesome and 2) he was suspended from hooks connected to his back piercings the whole time he was singing. It was fucking insane. We had some "necrotinis" which were these nasty chocolate/cherry/creamy martinis, they were disgusting, and lots of Miller Lite. By the end of the night my feet hurt and I was so drunk that I couldn't barely stand up. We went home and watched Deal or No Deal while I chowed down on some chips and dip. Overall, I would have to say that it was definitely the most fun evening I've ever had in my entire life.

Before we fell asleep Poke told me he loved me. Aaaah, I love it. He's so wonderful.

Yesterday after Poke went home, I slept on the couch on and off all day. We were supposed to have family pictures in the afternoon, but my mom's cat died Friday morning so she wasn't in the mood. I watched a lot of crappy TV, napped, ate some food, drank a few beers at night, and went to bed at midnight. Boring sleepy day, but it was fine. I'm a happy happy girl, but I'm kinda sad cuz I won't get to see Poke til Thursday! Damn third shift. Oh well.

For those of you who would like to know...

I am featured here and here. Yay!

Oh yeah, NSFW!!

Error

I really should start putting NSFW on dirty things, my bad! Thanks Dickeybird for mentioning that, I don't really ever think about who reads my blog and where, so... Yeah.
Rock on!

So anyway.

I've had a kinda shitty week. I've been so tired all week. It sucks.

SL is a big fucking jerk and I hope he gets what he deserves. He's too lazy to mail me a piece of paper, so now his credit is fucked. Oh well. He was too immature to act like a man, and now he lost the best thing to ever happen to him. He doesn't even work at CVS anymore, and of course, he never went into the Army. He's just a high school drop out and a liar who will never get anywhere in life. I'm glad he's gone, now I just need to get his shit out of my house. If he was more responsible and less of a dumbass, he would have mailed me the label to ship his stuff already, but I'm sure he can't afford it anyway. After having said all that, I'm still baffled that things turned out the way they did. But I think about it, and realised that I really did start hating him after I found out about the lies. I don't know what ever possessed (sp?) me to continue with the relationship, I think it might have had something to do with the fact that I had dropped so much fucking cash on a trip to Florida and a trip to New Jersey and flying him here and all that. Yep, I'm pretty sure that was it. I wanted to get my money's worth... which is why he's crazy if he thinks he's getting the fucking pots back. I paid over $500 for them so far, fuck it. He's young, his credit will recover.

Work is kind shitty because there is nothing to do. I'm waiting on everyone else to do their jobs while I sit and twiddle my thumbs. It sucks. I am literally sitting here like "la la la" bored as hell.

Going out to karaoke has been kinda shitty because it's been incredibly boring. I don't know what is going on, but its just not fun like it used to be. I feel like I'm singing the same songs all the time, not meeting anyone new and exciting, and blah blah blah. I think I need to take a break from karaoke for a while.

The things that happened this week that were good are as follows:

• Poke came over this morning after I told him I had a shitty week and wanted to see him. He brought many hugs and kisses and a bag of clothes to keep at my place. Yay.
• My mom and I went shopping and I found this awesome dress from Jump at JCPenneys. I LOVE it. Not to mention it makes me look hot. Oh. Man. I also got this sweet green shirt from Fashion Bug. Woo hoo!

Worldwide

I have people from Romania, Italy, Canada, Germany, France, and Chile looking at my blog. I get over 4,000 pages views per week. How awesome. They come via welovebiggirls.blogspot.com, my MySpace page, and Google searches. The searches include "bringin' turkey back", "why does drama always follow me lyrics", and "round on the ends and hi in the middle what do you think of our little riddle". Nothing funny!! Oh well.

I'm a happy girl, have I mentioned that? I'll probably post more later.

Dickeybird's Music Survey Version II

I couldn't deal with the answers I got yesterday, so I decided to redo the survey. Let's see how it pans out this time!!


* Put your iTunes/Winamp/WMP on shuffle.
* Use the song title as the answer to the question.
* NO CHEATING

1. How does the world see me? Runaway Train (Soul Asylum)
"Seems like I should be gettin' somewhere, somehow I'm neither here nor there..."
Very interesting!
2. Will I have a happy life? Wait (White Lion)
"I never had a chance to love you"
According to the lyrics, not so much. (Same as the first survey! Not cool!)
3. What do my friends really think of me? Sister Christian (Night Ranger)
"You know those boys don't wanna play no more with you..."
Hilarious! Christian, bah.
4. Do people secretly lust after me? November Rain (Guns'n'Roses)
"When I look into your eyes I can see a love restrained"
It kind of indicates that they do...?
5. How can I make myself happy? Final Countdown (Europe)
"We're leavin' together, but still it's farewell"
Shall I take a trip to Venus with a strange 80's band?
6. What should I do with my life? Pour Some Sugar on Me (Def Leppard)
"I'm hot, sticky sweet, from head down to my feet"
Become a stripper??
7. Will I ever have children? Sister Golden Hair (America)
"Well I keep on thinkin' 'bout you, sister golden hair surprise"
So... I will have a blonde daughter... who will get jilted...?
8. What is some good advice for me? The Price (Twisted Sister)
"Oh it's the price we gotta pay and all the games we gotta play"
Hey, that's some pretty good advice.
9. How will I be remembered? Patience (Guns'n'Roses)
"Shed a tear cuz I'm missing you, it's still alright to smile"
That fucking rocks! I'll be missed!
10. What is my signature dancing song? Cherry Pie (Warrant)
"Looks so good, bring a tear to your eye"
Yeah babe! That's a great song to dance to! Woot!
11. What do I think my current theme song is? Crazy on You (Heart)
"I tell myself that I'm doin' alright, there's nothin' left to do tonight"
Yes, I would like to go crazy on Poke...
12. What does everyone else think my current theme song is? Heaven isn't too far Away (Warrant)
"How I love the way you move, and the sparkle in your eyes"
I could cry! That's so awesome.
13. What song will play at my funeral? I Need You Now (Firehouse)
"More than words can say, I need you now"
Well, it's kinda depressing for a funeral... but I guess it's alright.
14. What type of women/men do I like? Rock You Like a Hurricane (Scorpions)
"The wolf is hungry / he runs to show"
Just realised what this song is about, just now. Fuck yeah.
15. What is my day going to be like? Roxanne (The Police)
"You don't have to put on the red light!"
So he's saying I should not dress up in my red dress and go hooking tonight. Damn.
16. Will I ever have love again? Two Outta Three Ain't Bad (Meatloaf)
"I want you, I need you, but there ain't no way I'm ever gonna love you"
Fucking TERRIBLE.
17. What type of sex life do I have? I just died in your arms tonight (Cutting Crew)
"Cuz I've been thrilled to fantasy one too many times"
I do have some great orgasms...
18. What song would be the title of my own porno movie? Whisky Lullaby (Brad Paisley & Alison Krauss)
"The rumours flew but nobody knew how much she blamed herself"
Probably the worst premise for a porno. Goddamnit.