Gluttons for Gluten(-free)

I am SO annoyed with this godforsaken Gluten-free trend that is sweeping America right now.  Everything is being changed to be Gluten-free, or labeled as “GLUTEN-FREE!” when it's always been Gluten-free, or there are new Gluten-free alternatives.  The thing is, a very, very small percentage of the population actually need Gluten-free food... but for some reason everybody and their goddam brother are scrambling for it and grabbing it off the shelves like it's cocaine-laced Slim-Fast.

The only people who truly need Gluten-free diets are those with Celiac or Duhring's diseases, and those with a wheat allergy.  There is zero evidence that it "cures" or "treats" Autism, although if you listen to the whack jobs *koff*Jenny McCarthy*koff*, it most certainly does (even though a professional, scientific study showed that it did absolutely nothing).  Unfortunately, like the Atkins, South Beach, Zone, Cabbage, Vinegar, etc etc etc, it has become the new fad diet.

The problem with going Gluten-free is that it can actually be quite dangerous if it's not necessary (and even when it is necessary, if you don't do it properly).  From the Wikipedia page on Gluten-free diets:

Deficiencies linked to maintaining a gluten-free diet. 

Many gluten-free products are not fortified or enriched and contain lower amounts of nutrients such as folate, iron, and fiber than other foods. Additionally, because gluten-free products are not always available, many Gluten-Sensitive Enteropathy (GSE) patients do not consume the recommended number of grain servings per day. A gluten-free diet may not meet the recommended intake for fiber, thiamine, riboflavin, niacin, folate, iron, or calcium. It is important for those who avoid gluten in their diet to find more nutrient-dense food sources to prevent such deficiencies. People who change their standard gluten-free diet to implement gluten-free oats at breakfast, high fiber brown rice bread at lunch, and quinoa as a side at dinner have been found to have significant increases in protein (20.6 g versus 11 g), iron (18.4 mg versus 1.4 mg), calcium (182 mg versus 0 mg), and fiber (12.7 g versus 5 g). The B vitamin group did not have significant increases, but were still found to have improved values of thiamine, riboflavin, niacin, and folate. These dietary changes can greatly reduce a GSE patient's risk for anemia (especially Iron Deficiency Anemia) and low blood calcium levels or poor bone health. 

Gluten-free foods include rice, potatoes, soybeans, maize, millet, buckwheat, amaranth and quinoa. The diet may be low in fiber, iron, folate, calcium, magnesium, zinc, vitamin D, B-complex vitamins (thiamin, riboflavin, niacin, and vitamin B12). Celiacs adhering to a gluten-free diet may be at risk for inadequate calcium, non-starch polysaccharides and Vitamin D. Oats can increase intakes of vitamin B1, magnesium, and zinc in celiac patient in remission.

The other thing is that even if a product is labeled Gluten-free, it might still contain Gluten (more on that later) because many factories use products that contain Gluten to dust their machines or process Gluten-not-free stuff on the same machines as Gluten-free.  Then there's the issue of alcohol.  Of course there is Gluten-free alcohol out there, but if it is made from any kind of grain, it contains Gluten.  So if I see your stupid face with a beer or whisky or whatever, telling me about your Gluten-free Lent, I'm going to kick you.

Also, it is almost impossible to be completely Gluten-free (unless it was supposed to be that way), and that "Gluten-free" really just means a teeny-tiny amount of Gluten (because 0 calories actually means <1 calories, and 0 carbs means <1 carb and so forth).  Did you know that the amount of Gluten at which intolerance presents itself is undetermined?  Yeah, I didn't think you did. Probably because you think Gluten-free is going to help you lose weight or be healthier.  Sorry Charlie, you're just a fucking moron.

I just get so incredibly frustrated!  I'm not going to lie and say I've never tried a fad (diet or otherwise) or prayed/hoped for some miracle cure for my morbid obesity, but sometimes I just cannot comprehend what people are thinking.  Why would you remove something totally innocent from your diet for no reason, especially if removing said thing could actually create a nutritional deficiency?  Ridiculous.  The problem is that people eat too much fake food.  Why did the Atkins diet work for so many people?  Yes, because they cut out carbs, but not because they cut out carbs - Americans eat way too many carbs in the first place!  Atkins doesn't rule anywhere else like it does here because the rest of the world knows how to eat in moderation.  Eat whatever the hell you want - just don't eat ten pounds of it!  Also, eat REAL food - they say five ingredients or less, but I find that to be a bit restrictive.  I have eaten Helper three times in the last three years, and those three times I felt (and did nothing but) shit the next day.  Too many preservatives!  Cheese powder?! YUCK!  Seriously.  When I learned in culinary school that margarine is one molecule away from being plastic, I decided to start making a change in my diet.  I've given up all lite/low fat/etc foods because they aren't real - no canola/vegetable oil either, only olive oil (I do have a bottle of canola that I've been working on for about 2 years now, and I just can't bear to get rid of it and throw away all that money - it's used very sparingly!)  Splenda and Diet pop are the only fake foods that are regularly let into this house.  I'm not trying to be some guru or trendsetter, but come on people - there's a reason why we're all so fat.  You might be saying to yourself, "Who the fuck are you, Kel-Bell?" and I will answer "I'm just a well-educated mother, partner, and chef who wants to make the best life for my family and myself."