So being pregnant is, by far, the strangest experience I've ever had in my entire life. My stomach is so squished that I can't eat - but I'm starving - I'm zittier than ever, I hate everything, love everything, and everything makes me cry. They say that a pregnant woman experiences 150 million years of evolution in nine months - I'm starting to believe it's true. Even as I sit here, I'm like "why am I even updating this blog? Nobody wants to read about the life of a fat ugly mean stupid girl!!" Seriously, being pregnant is hard.
That being said, it's not all that bad. Some days/weeks are harder than others, and sometimes I'm just like WTF and move on. Work has been better lately, since I decided that some things are just NOT worth my time (arguing with less intelligent coworkers, less socially-adept coworkers, etc) and some things ARE worth my time (doing my job to the best of my ability and realising that I cannot be perfect, no matter how hard I try, and trying to be perfect is going to wear me out). On Sunday I did the breakfast shift, which has been traumatic from the start (and this was only my fourth time) and it went very well. Yes, my soups sucked cuz for some reason I lack the ability to do in one kitchen what I do in another, but whatever. It's soup for christssake, and if that's the thing that I fucked up and everyone was all in arms over, well, that's fine. At least it wasn't as bad as the first two times I did that shift!
Home life has been much better lately as well. Poke has changed completely since being diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes, and now that he's gotten his blood sugar under control, his attitude is under control. Lately it's been higher & I can really notice the difference between glucose levels of 80-140 & 150+. It's amazing what the human body can do to itself and how the brain/mind can be affected by things.
I guess I should probably give a quick background story at this point, since the last time I talked, Poke & I were all but done for. WELL... as you all know by now, there was really no way we'd ever be apart for good, even if I said it was going to happen. We ended up getting back together in August 2010, and by October 2010, I was pregnant... except we didn't find out until December 9th, 2010, when I randomly started throwing up - a lot. Puking is NOT something I generally do, even when totally wasted, so I went ahead and took three pregnancy tests, and sure enough all three had the double pink line. Woo-hoo. Poke was in Cali/Vegas at the time, on vacation w/his bff/roommate (to try and salvage their dying friendship I guess). I simply texted him "I'm pregnant" and that was that. He replied "how the fuck?" and I, being the smart-ass that I am, answered that when a mommy & daddy fall in love... No, I was like "well, I'm not on birth control & we don't use condoms so I suppose it was bound to happen eventually!" When he came back from vacation he made the decision to "do the right thing" and move in (after the first of the year). I was happy, because I truly didn't think he was going to do that. I pretty much expected him to be like "ok, I'll send you a check" and be done with it. Instead he stepped up and made the commitment. It's been rough, but since January 2011, he's bought me/us a house, kept his finances in order, done great at work (as always) and continued to improve himself and our life. He seems to be excited about the baby coming, and I think he's going to be a great dad. Yay.
The only thing I have to worry about now is next Tuesday when I go to the cardiologist for a couple of procedures to find out what's wrong with my heart. A few times in my life, maybe 1 or 2 times every year for the last 5-7 years, I've had little episodes of palpitations. I'd go to the doctor, they'd do an EKG, and nothing would show so they'd say "oh anxiety" or some other reason. Well since I got pregnant it's been steadily getting worse, going from 1-2 times a year to 1-2 times a month to 1-2 times a week until it was every other day and now it's every day that my heart is palpitating. Sometimes I get nauseous and dizzy and lightheaded and sweaty, sometimes I get nothing. A week ago they put me on a 24 hour monitor cuz when I went to the hospital, of course, nothing showed on the EKG. Apparently something significant showed on the 24 hour monitor cuz now they wanna do these tests. I'm scared and nervous, but at the same time I'm kind of okay. I have a part time job working from home so I am still making money even if I have to take a leave before it's FMLA maternity time. Things will work out, I'm sure of it... At least, I'm hoping so!
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