Being alive hurts so much right now.
In the last 40 days, I've lost my boyfriend (who, it seems, already has a new girlfriend), one of my best friends, and a very good friend that I was looking forward to getting to know a lot better. Why does everyone leave me? GG is the only friend I have now in 2008 that I had in 2007, 2006, and 2005. Heck, we were even friends for part of 2004. What is wrong with me? What have I ever done to deserve this? I'm not feeling sorry for myself, I'm feeling pain for myself. I hurt so much, I can't even put it into words. Everyone leaves me and moves on with their lives, being happy, and it doesn't even seem like life without me is any worse or better than before. How can you just drop someone who was a major everyday part of your life and not be affected? Even after I've broken up with someone, I still miss their presence in my life. Maybe I'm strange. I don't know. All I know is that this shit hurts and I don't really know what keeps me going anymore. I want to curl up in a ball and die. Earlier this year I was so fucking happy. I didn't think anything could go wrong. I guess that was where I went wrong. Even school means practically nothing to me right now, but it's the only thing I have so I might as well do a good job at it. I'm just a shell of what used to be. That was so cliche, but I can't think of anything else to describe it. I want to stab myself in the heart and just be done with it.
You take the breath right outta me - You left a hole where my heart should be.
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