It's a Small World After All

...but it's also an expensive and scary world, after all!

So, with Poke's large tax refund, we are going to take a vacation.  In the 6.5 yrs he & I have been together, we have not taken any vacations other than two days at Cedar Point in 2008.  This year we have the time, the money, and the togetherness to do it!  Finally!

I was looking at Disney vacations and extended an invitation to the grandparents to join us.  My friends, however, made a good point - 4L might get scared of the characters!  I can definitely see that happening, because he is often terrified of his own shadow - okay, maybe he's not that much of a scaredy cat, but he does get very very nervous (to the point where he starts yelling) around large groups of people.  Perhaps I should plan a Disney vacation for year 5 and not year 1.

That all being said, I think we are still going to head to Disney.  They have some really awesome resorts there, and we don't have to buy any tickets to the park, or we can buy one ticket for one day.  It might be nice to leave 4L in the baby room and go play with Poke at Disney World!  Of course I can just imagine feeling horribly guilty leaving him... but then again, maybe not.  Who knows?!  Definitely have to think about this.  Luckily the Disney vacations website has a sweet planning tool, where you can choose your style (basic - luxurious, dining plans, etc) and budget and they will give you all the options that fit.  Then, once you have those options, you can tweak it to match your exact needs.

If you have any suggestions on baby-friendly resorts, I would love to hear them!

Happy Birthday, Abie Baby...

Since it's 1:52am, it's technically Presidents' Day.  Abraham Lincoln's birthday was seven days ago and George Washington's was eight, but whatever.

This, along with the current election shit that's already hitting the fan, makes me wonder what our founding fathers would think of the government these days.  Yes, I know Lincoln was not a founding father.

There have always been "sides", cliques, parties, whatever, since the dawn of time.  Sometimes a girl like me, however, just doesn't know where she belongs!  The liberals piss me off because, as the sayings go, they don't want to get jobs/use facts/allow babies to be born/etc.  The extreme right, on the other hand, pisses me off because they insist on putting God into everything, perpetuating an ancient caste system that should have never occurred in America, and having a tendency to skew things into what they want it to be.  

What I really want to be is a Socialist.  I truly believe that if everyone actually had to work for the irrefragable greater good, they might fucking do it.  There is too much distance between the rich and the poor, and us middle class people are the ones suffering.  How can the middle class be determined by $15k-$250k per year?!  If Poke made $250k per year, I'd be wearing diamonds in my pussy and 4L would have gold-plated diapers.  We live off of $27k, and barely make it.  Thanks to WIC, we don't have to buy food for 4L, but that is only 1/3 of our monthly grocery bill.  What are we supposed to do when he starts eating real food, and more of it?  Currently we get 32 jars of baby food in a month, and he eats 2/day - that's clearly not enough.  I have to supplement with actual food, which is fine because I want him to eat what I cook and get used to it, but there are some things that aren't nutritionally sound for a 7 month old!  We don't qualify for any other kind of aid, and even though I have no job and no income at all, I don't qualify for any kind of Medicare/Medicaid.  It's BULL.  Meanwhile there are people out there buying alcohol, cigarettes, and all kinds of fried fucking chicken with their goddamn EBT cards.  

Not.Fair.

But I digress.

I have a friend who is a conspiracy theorist (a real one, not the speculative kind like Poke used to be), and a friend who is a die-hard liberal.  I don't have too many straight-up conservative friends, although one comes pretty close.  I respect all of their opinions, I don't always agree, but sometimes I just can't understand.  It seems like the folks who are set squarely into one of these groups (whatever group they choose) always has to run screaming into the conversation, blasting those who disagree or are different, and stating reasons why their group is the only/best group.  It's fucking ridiculous!

To me, some things just aren't important enough to be a true political affair - women changing their last name, light bulbs, living on the moon.  Then, there are the things that are important - abortion, taxes, health care... that's where I get all stretched out.  I can sum up my feelings in three neat bullets:

• Abortion = Murder
• Taxes should be lower for me (and those who make less than me), and higher for those who make more than me.
• Health care should be publicly funded (See: France)

I guess that's it for today.  Here's a video for you, in honor of Presidents' Day!

*Does not connotate affiliation with the modern Tea Party

Can't sleep.  Thinking about money.  Thanks to bullshit insurance at Poke's job, we went from paying about $115/mo for him & 4L to paying over $300.  On top of that, there's no such thing as a copay - we have to pay 100% of *everything* until we reach $2500 deductible for EACH of them, which will happen, but not til 5 of each refill on Poke's necessary diabetes medications (which run over $250 for each). Meanwhile, he didn't get the raise he was supposed to get, didn't get a holiday bonus, and now we have a car payment that we didn't have before.  I feel guilty, but even if I had gone back to work, literally 99% of my income would be going to 4L's day care.  When we planned this sahm thing, everything was in place.  We could easily afford it, and even allotted for the cost of 4L.  Now, even with WIC, we aren't making it.  We only go out once a month, we don't drink or smoke, we don't even eat out but maybe once or twice a month.  

I use so many coupons and sales on top of getting WIC, and I don't know what to do to save more money.  We got a statement from AEP this week stating that, at 800 watts or whatever, our household is in the "good" range for use of electricity.  The average is 1800.  I'd say we're fucking excellent, thank you.  Our electric bill is, on average, less than the average bill of the average household from 2008, when prices were 30% lower than they are now.  I rule at conserving.  The thermostat is set at 63-65 degrees, the lights are almost all on timers, and we live in the dark.  Our gas bill is low too - same as the electric, rarely above $60.  Our mortgage is less than $750, cheaper than many two bedroom apartments in central Ohio, and that figure includes taxes and insurance.  The only thing we have that we could get rid of is the cable, and I'm trying to keep the entertainment alive by switching to DirectTv.  Unfortunately, when they came out to install it, they said we have too many trees to get a signal.  They're sending out a supervisor for a second opinion, but I'm sure he will say the same thing.  So, instead of lowering our bill by $40, it will stay the same.  I could just cancel the cable, go to basic and keep the internet, but then I would probably lose my mind being at home all day because 5.5 month old babies aren't really the most enthralling thing to watch 16 hours a day.  Maybe getting rid of the cable would help me get rid of my fat because I'd be forced to go do stuff.  That being said, losing this fat would increase our electric/gas bills because I'd lose all my insulation.  Catch 22.

This health insurance thing has really fucked us over.  The monthly expenses are increased by $900, however, the income has gone down by $250.  Isn't that fucking amazing?!  No wonder I can't sleep. FML.

The stupid Tupperware thing didn't work out, so I feel dumb about that because I didn't even make back the $120 I spent on the kit.  Granted, I got $500 worth of product for $120, but I could have done without that stuff.  I don't know how that lady makes her money- and she makes it look so easy to do!  I am just NOT a salesperson.  I literally could not sell a heater to an eskimo.  

If I could make money singing, or typing, or eating, or sitting on a couch, or staying awake when I should be sleeping - then we would be in business.  I could even make a living drinking beer!  Alas, no such careers present themselves to me.  I told Poke the other day that we need to have a bunch more kids because the more kids you have, the more you get back at tax time.  Fuck my credit, let all the bills go to collections. No big deal.

I work at the Culinary Institute four days a month, which is all they will allow.  The majority of my paycheck is supposed to go to my student loans, which is why they employ me.  I will have about $100 extra per month, which will go to my life/critical illness insurance, the Dispatch subscription, the Lane Bryant credit card, and church envelopes.  My friend's aunt suggested in-home daycare, but I would have to pay for all the licenses and stuff, somehow get business, and let strangers and their strange, gross kids into my house.  Not going to happen.

All in all, I am completely lost.