Day One

Well hello.
Today is the first day of the rest of my life. I tell ya what, if only I had the super power to stop time and get shit done the way I want it.
So, I'm at work, being irritated because the girl who was my "best" friend is a total bitch and I finally told her about it... she was not pleased. Needless to say I performed a routine back-stabbing and hopefully she'll be gone by the end of the week. Yip.
My dad calls - weird - and says, "When did you get a pit-bull?"
*Excuse Me?*
I don't like doggys.
The Regional Property Manager had called my father to tell him that I am keeping pit-bulls in my house... very very interesting... My friend FW was staying with me for awhile and he has one... keeps her on a leash though... wonder what is happening...?
Call RPM Beeeeeyotch extraordinaire and ask her what the heck is up... She is afraid of dogs and apparently Diamond Dog (pit-bull, 5 mos old, weighs like 20 lbs, barely reaches my knee) was running all over the complex. Super.
I tell RPMB that she can shove it and I don't want to live there anymore. Great. She's happy because the following is what they have accused me of doing:

• Throwing wild parties at 4am on a Wednesday
• Harboring a fugitive
• Drug trafficking
• Failing to properly operate a vaccuum cleaner and/or steam cleaner
• Breeding pit-bulls

This is wonderful.
My "roommate" is in "His" room right now tripping on acid while Diamond pees on the floor.
I rule.
I'm drinking a Beast Light waiting for SB to call (*Sigh* Why wait?) wondering if my nipples will completely heal from their recent piercings, and eating some dry popcorn.
Come play with me!