28 February 2006

My friend, Bill O. Rights

I love it when people think that by threatening you, they have some power over you. I'm not afraid of anyone, and I'd like to see them try, whatever it is that they're after.

As an American citizen, I have these things called "rights". It's amazing, what our forefathers thought of, when they were under duress. Simply beautiful. Read on, fine citizens, read on.

Bill of Rights

Amendment I

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.

A well regulated militia, being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms, shall not be infringed.

No soldier shall, in time of peace be quartered in any house, without the consent of the owner, nor in time of war, but in a manner to be prescribed by law.

The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.

No person shall be held to answer for a capital, or otherwise infamous crime, unless on a presentment or indictment of a grand jury, except in cases arising in the land or naval forces, or in the militia, when in actual service in time of war or public danger; nor shall any person be subject for the same offense to be twice put in jeopardy of life or limb; nor shall be compelled in any criminal case to be a witness against himself, nor be deprived of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor shall private property be taken for public use, without just compensation.

In all criminal prosecutions, the accused shall enjoy the right to a speedy and public trial, by an impartial jury of the state and district wherein the crime shall have been committed, which district shall have been previously ascertained by law, and to be informed of the nature and cause of the accusation; to be confronted with the witnesses against him; to have compulsory process for obtaining witnesses in his favor, and to have the assistance of counsel for his defense.

In suits at common law, where the value in controversy shall exceed twenty dollars, the right of trial by jury shall be preserved, and no fact tried by a jury, shall be otherwise reexamined in any court of the United States, than according to the rules of the common law.

Excessive bail shall not be required, nor excessive fines imposed, nor cruel and unusual punishments inflicted.

The enumeration in the Constitution, of certain rights, shall not be construed to deny or disparage others retained by the people.

The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the states, are reserved to the states respectively, or to the people.

I'm quite impressed - how about you? For more reading on the United States Constitution, please click here.

27 February 2006

The Definition Of...

Main Entry: mo·ron
Pronunciation: 'mor-"än
Function: noun
Etymology: irregular from Greek mOros foolish, stupid
1 usually offensive : a mildly mentally retarded person
2 : a very stupid person
- mo·ron·ic /m&-'rä-nik, mo-/ adjective
- mo·ron·i·cal·ly /-ni-k(&-)lE/ adverb
- mo·ron·ism /'mOr-"ä-"ni-z&m, 'mor-/ noun
- mo·ron·i·ty /m&-'rä-n&-tE, mo-/ noun

Now, here's why: (I hope you're all sitting down, this shit is hilarious, you may fall over laughing.)
My comments are in red.

She writes:

How pathetic can one person be? Let’s see, take someone else’s words and change them around-very original. I believe some people make their living this way... click here and here for examples. Put it on a dumb-ass blog that only your dumb-ass friends read-never seen that one before either… Apparently she is insulting herself, since she still reads my blog... haha!
Let’s see….
Now shorty, back in the day, she was dancing for dollars

Jealous that you can’t? Proud that she was a stripper? Who, by the way, never profited from the business (according to her own words!)
She feeds him foolish fantasies, he pays her cause he wanna
Not only does that not make any sense at all, since the threesome was his idea, but…he pays me cause he’s a man and he supports his woman. Unlike some people I know… I like how she says her husband pays her. Sounds like a whore to me!
I kissed a little one night, and my game got her
A hour later, have that cash up in the PayPal
Who are you trying to fool? Even if that was the way it happened; that just makes you look like a whore. Nah, it just makes her look like a pushover. Which wasn't the case back then, but now that she's being a C-U-N-T I don't care. She claimed the money had nothing to do with the making out but we all know it's not true.
I whispers in her ear saying I think about her
I got the bitch by the bar trying to get a drink up out her
Never happened. No whisperin’ in anyone’s ear; and I never bought you a drink at the bar; ever.
No, I didn't literally whisper in her ear, I'll admit. But we did have secret conversations online that she didn't archive for fear of her husband seeing them! Also, she didn't buy me a drink in the bar, also true. But she did buy me case after case of Miller Lite without my asking.
She like my style, she like my smile, she like the way I talk
She from the country, think she like me cause I'm from the north
Ummm, I’m from Colorado, which I guess could be called the country and you’re from Ohio; which is only the north if you’re from Florida. So, nope that one doesn’t work either.
Click here to see a map of the United States. You will notice that the following states are north of Ohio: Washington, Oregon, Idaho, Montana, Wyoming, North Dakota, South Dakota, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Mew York, Connecticut, Rhode Island, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, Vermont, and Maine. That means 34% of the USA is north of Ohio. So, nope that one doesn't work either.
I ain't that girly trying to holla or to give some head
That wasn’t you that was giving blow jobs to guys in the parking lot of Eldorados? Sure wasn’t me. I only do that with my husband. I gave one blow job in the parking lot, and it was to my at-the-time boyfriend... hmmm...
By the way, I will get all of my money from you, so I don’t know who you’re trying to convince on that one. Where in this situation did I ever state that I wasn't going to pay her back completely? Please, someone, find me that line.
I'm bout the honey you see, girl you can't rock out like me
You can’t be talking about singing because everyone knows I’m a better singer than you and like I said, spending more time on your back or in the bar than you spend doing anything else is not rocking out!! Everyone knows... yeah... because she's at karaoke all the time. Not possible, because her husband keeps her locked in the house! Besides, I've never seen anyone (but friend or family) compliment her, never saw anyone request a song from her, never saw anyone offer to buy her a drink, etc... Is she going to be joining someone's band soon? Didn't think so. I love the part where she says I'm on my back or in the bar all the time. 1) Of course I'm on my back - at least 6 hours a day - that's how I sleep. 2) In the bar all the time... right. I haven't been to a bar in a week. In fact, I usually only go once or twice a week anymore.
Roll joints in your kid's room while you watch TV
I'm more responsible than thee, you're a C-U-N-T
Let’s see, we can afford a three bedroom apartment, two kids, two cars, two cell phones and you’re more responsible than me? Are you kidding me? You can’t even support yourself and your cats! Because... smoking pot in her kid's room has what to do with my income? I've never been arrested, I don't do drugs, hmmm.... but the fact that she has a 3-bedroom apt (I have a 1000+ sq. ft. townhome - oh wait, I had to have the kid's b-day party because their place was too small, right?) I have one car but I only need one, at least I don't have a broken-down one taking up space, my cats are fed and cared for just fine, thank you.
Girl we could pop some champagne and we could have a ball
We could toast to the good life, girl we could have it all
We could really splurge girl, and tear up the mall
If ever you needed someone, I'm the one you should call
I'd be there to pick you up, if ever you should fall
If you got problems, I can solve'em, they big or they small
But you went an' fucked it up with your infantile shit
Why would you even say that? I tried to make reaparations to our friendship. You were the one who wanted to continue being a nasty bitch; all because of Sal. I fucked it up with my infantile shit? YOU ENDED OUR FRIENDSHIP AND ARE TRYING TO SCREW ME OUT OF MY MONEY BECAUSE I DON’T LIKE YOUR BOYFRIEND! Doesn’t get more infantile than that, Kelly. I said that because it was true, and I'm not a liar. I'm not sure what a "reaparation" is... but if she means "reparation", ha. Tried to fix our friendship by constantly sending me nasty emails? Even when she would send them, I would respond shortly, giving information about when the check(s) would be sent out. She kept being nasty. Talk about infantile. And again, please, someone show me where I'm trying to screw them out of their money - I've sent them 2 checks for $300.00 total, the last one is going to be mailed this week, and I've offered to pay their check cashing fees, which aren't my responsibility.
I'm not your friend, your lover, or confidant, bitch
You obviously never were. Too bad she thinks this way...
I keep a 'Stang, some men, and some jewels
Keeping “some” men, just makes you slutty and…I have 14 diamonds and over 60 karats of gold on right now. Where’s yours? I love how she takes things literally. She has nothing to say about the car (although, she's better than me because she owns her POS Tempo outright and I have a loan on my Mustang...) I don't literally "keep" men, but trust me, I have plenty of them at my disposal if I should want one at any time. As for the bling... she has them on her body, who's to say I don't have mine in a safe/safe deposit box/etc.? She knows nothing about what I have.
She got on Payless, me I got on leather boots
Wrong again. I couldn’t even tell you where a Payless is located, and I have 2 pairs of leather boots; including a $600 pair of handmade custom, lace-up leather knee-highs. Now what? This was more of a hit on my end towards her penchant for dumpster-diving. Really has nothing to do with shoes... I suppose I'm not allowed to have any poetic license in my own blog?
I'm shopping for champagne, she's shoppin' for diapers
Not only did you have to borrow money from me, your fucking furniture got repossed cuz you couldn’t afford it! Too bad too, cuz I just moved my leather couch out to the dumpster yesterday. Coulda gave it to you, would have even moved it for you, but who needs furniture when you’ve got Sal right? I never had to borrow money, in fact, I never even asked to borrow it. Also, my furniture never got repossessed, much less repossed (whatever that is), I voluntarily returned it to Rent-A-Center because I figured that instead of spending $105.00 per month, I could save that and buy a living room set. As if I would want her ratty old couch anyway - both arms were busted, the cushions were smashed in, and you couldn't even sit on it - you had to perch on the edge or lay across it.
Man this hoe you can have her, when he's done no one gonna want her
Is that directed at yourself, becaue I’ve only slept with one person in the last 4 and a half years…so I can’t be the ho (you spelled it like the garden tool….) and my man is commited to me, so he won’t be done with me anytime soon… All I have to say is that she needs to take her beef up with 50 cent on the spelling of hoe. Also, it's great that she's been so loyal to her husband - too bad he can't say the same back - she admitted to me on several occasions that she suspected he slept with her younger sister, who was 15 years old at the time.
Man, friends will come and go, every real person knows
Real friends don’t. Real friends don't put a price on your friendship, and when they do, that's when things "come and go."
Bitch high on weed tryin' to be smart, I'll bet she's got it to an art
Jealous you can’t afford it? I don’t have to try to be smart about anything. Take a long hard look at our two lives and see who’s made the smarter choices... Is she serious? Am I jealous that I can't afford to buy weed? I don't even SMOKE weed! And truthfully, although I did battle with an addiction once, I never did it around my kids (if I had had any I wouldn't have), my friends' kids, etc. I would never put a child in danger by bringing drugs into the house.
Put my new boyfriend down, you'll get your ass reamed
What, on your blog? I’m dis-crediting just about everything you said anyway. As I discredit her right back.
Now see this bottom feeder, she always said I'd need her
How am I the bottom feeder? I don’t need to borrow money from anyone, I don’t cruise the bars (which, by the way, didn’t anyone tell you that VIP is a gay bar? Maybe that’s why GMc hangs there) and I have a pretty wonderful life, in fact. Again, I don't need to borrow money from anyone either. Let me reiterate that I never even asked. Onto the bars and my "cruising", as you can all see by reading my blog, I only frequent two bars, Zuey's and Eldo's. And I only go there on karaoke nights to Eldo's, and only to Zuey's on one night (not even every week) that my good friend works there. As for the VIP being a gay bar, that's just fucking hilarious to me. The KJ at the VIP on Wednesdays and Saturdays happens to be a homosexual, so of course he brings all his friends in, who are mostly gay as well. All the KJs I know do the same thing! When they have a show, they bring in their friends to get the place going. GMc only goes to the VIP occasionally, usually for his (now ended) pool league.
've got enough gnomes in my garden don't need another bird feeder
Not one single part of that even makes sense I thought it was funny and I needed something to rhyme. Clever of me, in my opinion.
Cause I need a divorce and she's holdin' me up
How, by taking back my money? Cuz I can’t be holding you back by not cashing the checks. No, she's not holding me up by taking back her money, she's holding me up by constantly sending me unprovoked nasty emails (when my response would be "Your check will be mailed out next week" her reply would be "Oh and here's some more reasons why you're a piece of shit and so is SL.")
She keeps talkin' shit, I ain't paying the bitch
Try it. I already told you what would happen. Oh right, here's the part where I reveal that she was stupid enough to put in writing that she would "punch me in the cum dumpster I call a mouth" - Also, she threatens to take me to small claims court, which is great, because we never had a specified time period that I had to pay her back. I could send her $10.00 a month for the next 20 months if I so choose. And trust me, I've consulted a lawyer.
Catch a date, suck a dick, shit, you're a trick
Don’t need to catch a date, I have a husband who’s dick I suck and as for being a trick…was that me whoring myself out for a measly $500 I didn’t even end up getting to keep? Oh…wait…that was you, I forgot. Again, taking things literally. I didn't even make up that line, I left it from the original song. Plus, in my eyes, it would mean something like, "Quit wasting time and get on with it bitch." Maybe I'm wrong, I admit when I am, but I'd like to see her confront 50 Cent and try to interpret/correct his lyrics. Hahahaha!

How salty are you gonna feel, a year from now, when you still don’t have a divorce because you can’t pay the lawyer cuz SL has sucked you dry and then left you? Not at all; SL and I have already talked about what will happen if he doesn't contribute/etc. He's going straight back to Florida without a question. Too bad she didn't know that he already has some interviews lined up.
Seriously. It’s not even really anything personal against SL. Really? That's surprising! I would have given the same advice to someone else in the same scenario. I would have felt the same way when I got screwed over because of someone like that. Honestly. Look at what has happened. I got mad that night mostly because the cell phones were screwing up and I thought you were sending the same message over and over and not answering the messages I was sending. I love how she back tracks to try and make it seem like she wasn't being a cunt. I had a pissy attitude because {some problems with her son that I will not put in my blog}. That’s not an excuse, but it sure puts a body in a shitty mood ya know. I coulda really used a friend during those first couple days. She only told me this terrible thing that happened about a week afterwards, as if would make a difference then. I feel badly for what happened, but that isn't the reason our friendship fell apart. I told you not to come because it was too late. I would have been late to get Jms because I would have had to wait for you to get here. I said SL wasn’t welcome here because I don’t trust him. Apparently being a liar also makes you a theif. Nothing would ever happen with me being there, I mean seriously - what did she think he would do? Steal their shit that they yakned out of someone else's trash? Riiiiight. If nothing else, as I said before, he lied to my son. Now, I could be forgetting, but I don't ever recall SL and her son having an in-depth conversation about his Army career. That’s enough to make Jms and me both want to beat his ass. I also don’t know him other than finding out that all he had told you was a lie. I’m not gonna let someone like that in my house when I’m not there, sorry. Just because you trust him, doesn’t mean I do. Then all of a sudden, the next day I get a nasty email from you and the war had begun. You started the infantile shit, not me. I was mad, but I would have gotten over it. Especially when I realized it was the phone. Cuz, I’ll be honest, I did feel salty after I sent that when I realized you hadn’t gotten the other messages when I sent them. But, you wanted to just be nasty and not be friends anymore. After I send out the last check and my end of this bullshit is over, you can all read the "nasty" emails I sent to her. I'm not afraid to put it all out in the open because I know I'm right.
Let me say too, before I forget, that SL lying about being in the service is a mockery of those who are. Many families have lost husbands, sons, brothers and friends and for him to lie about that is pathetic. You also left out that fact that he lied about speaking foreign languages, being in the special forces, and being hit with shrapnel! I admitted in my last post that I felt that what he said about being in the Army was a mockery. Feel free to go back and read it. SL didn't lie about speaking foreign languages, he can still speak several, just not as fluently as he let on. He can still speak enough to carry on a conversation with someone. As for the SF and the shrapnel, anyone can deduct that if he lied about being in the Army, obviously he lied about those things too. (Aaah, the pettiness of some people.)
The point is that you were so close to being able to get your divorce (I will remind you again that none of your other great friends did you that favor) and now you can’t. So, lending me $500.00 that I didn't ask for makes someone a good friend? I would definitely have to disagree with that one! You had two good friends and now you don’t. Where? Who? Where'd they go? *looks around, confused* And all because I don’t like your boyfriend. And because she talks shit about him, and about me, and because she put a price on our friendship, and because her phone didn't send text messages properly, and because I wouldn't have sex with her and her husband, etc. I could have stayed friends with you, even after the first shitty email. But you turned on me so quick. I wrote her an email stating how I felt, and she fired back with hurtfulness extraordinairre. From then on, I kept it short, never personal, until she started pulling insults out of her ass. So, I’ll be the bigger person. If you need a friend sometime down the road, I’ll be there. As long as I'm not dating SL and I can afford to pay them and satisfy them sexually. Until then, I need the rest of our money and the associated fees and I guess we’ll go our separate ways.

I thought this was just great. More to come!