Reach back like a Pimp and Smack the Hoe.

Yep Hoe.

I mentioned before (17 July) that I don't like Mel. Well let me tell you what happened on Tuesday night. SL and I decided to go see D*Martin's new-ish show at Trump's in Worthington. It's probably my new favorite bar. The place was cute, with little NFL hanging lamps and very clean areas and a great patio. I loved it. Until I saw Mel. I was like jesushchrist my bag of coke is a bag of anthrax. Seriously. Seeing her just makes me so angry. So, like an adult, I ignored her. I walked right past her to talk to D*Martin, I stayed away from the hussy when she was all over my sexy negro OA, I even looked away when she stared straight at me. I mean come on if she can't tell I don't like her, she's fucking blind. So then, SL and I went out to the awesome patio to smoke, and as we were coming inside, Mel cornered me at our table and told SL to please give us a minute. She says, "I need to talk to you" and me, being the non-beating-around-the-bush type person that I am, responded, "I really don't like you." I knew that's what she was going to ask anyway. So she asks why, and I tell her that its because I feel she is a liar and a hypocrite because she "loves" her boyfriend but refuses to fuck him, although it's okay for her to fuck other dudes. Not that it's my business in the first place, but she made it my business by telling me all her dirty secrets when she was wasted and buying me shots. And I told her this exactly. So then she claims that she never sleeps with other dudes. I was going to call her out about D*Martin but I didn't want him to catch any flack for it. So I told her that I knew she did and I had proof but I didn't care. She started telling me how good of a friend she was, how I should get to know her because I could find that out, etc., all that kind of stuff. I told her that I was not interested in getting to know her, I did not wish to get to know her, but I was indeed glad for her friends that she is a good friend, although I have no desire to experience it (the best part is that this is how I'm talking, and she's feeling dumber by the minute.) She asks me why did I lie to her, and I told her that I didn't always dislike her, but the more I got to know her the less I liked her. She claims that I don't know her at all, but I remind her of all those times when she felt like confessing her life story to me. Then she starts going on about how she doesn't like me either, because I told ND I would suck his cock in the parking lot all those weeks ago at Brewstirs, which was so terrible of me because SL loves me. I was like, "First of all, you have no proof that I even suggested or anything about sucking ND's cock. Second, it didn't even happen. SL saw all my txt msgs to ND and if there was anything incriminating there he would have seen it. You were lied to because he was trying to fuck you and luckily I talked him out of it." THEN she tells me I'm jealous. And I ask her, "Of what?" To which she replies, "you're jealous because I have a personality and you have a shitty personality." Which makes me laugh out loud because even if I have a shitty personality, I still have one, and she does too, so I have nothing to be jealous of since we are even. So, she walks away. Shortly thereafter SL comes back and sits down, but I'm up to sing one person away. Mel is over telling D*Martin what a terrible person I am, and I can tell by his face that he just doesn't care. I go up to sing, and no sooner have I gotten to the middle of the first verse than there is Mel, walking over to SL. I can tell by his face that he's just not interested in talking to her, and she's probably telling him to try and get me to like her or something. I find out later that this is exactly what she wanted. So the night progresses, I drink one Wild Turkey just in case this bitch wants to roll, so I'll be ready. Later, way later, we're on the patio. I'm talking to her boyfriend, and I'm like, "You don't hate me, do you?" and he says no, he just ignores her drama because with her, it's always drama. I told him that was cool since I was defending him in a way, and that's why she had an issue. He was like whatever, you're cool. Then the other few of her friends came out, and they were all like, yes, you rule, you're nice, etc. I was like Rock On. Then Mel noticed me talking to her friends, with smiles abounding (I'm not sure if she expected them to like beat my ass or whatever, cuz she had threatened earlier that if she ever saw me in "her bar" on Monday again she would kick my ass.) She comes outside, and starts talking really loud to her friends about how nice they are, and stuff, and how they aren't MEAN PEOPLE LIKE SOME GIRLS WE KNOW and how she is happy blah blah NOT LIKE SOME MEAN PEOPLE WE KNOW AHEM. You know, like when someone is talking loud enough for you to hear, and then they raise their voice to make sure you hear the part they really want to emphasize... LAME. I laugh at her, behind her back (cuz our backs are to each other) and it's loud enough for her to hear, but DF and SL are laughing too so maybe she doesn't know I'm laughing at her... oh... she does... hahahaha. So then she starts yelling at her friends for talking to me, and yelling at me, and I'm still not reacting. She takes a few steps towards me, and the one guy grabs her and her boyfriend steps in front of her. This is where it gets good! So, I'm standing there, just kinda looking out the corner of my eye at this crazy bitch who is being restrained from trying to get me for not reacting to her threats/insults/etc., and then SMASH! A beer bottle hits the patio. It was her boyfriend's Miller Lite, but I'm pretty sure she grabbed it out of his hands to try and throw it at me. They leave. I think they skipped out on their tab. Her friends stay and we talk and have a wonderful rest of the evening.


This is because I'm #1 and didn't let her get the best of me! Haha!

I should have reached back like a pimp and slapped the hoe. But I'm not stupid. I would never hit someone unless they hit me first because I am not going to jail.