1982

Tomorrow is my 25th birthday.
I'm not terribly thrilled about that.
I hate my life right now.

Update:
Here's what Dickeybird posted in the comments:


Apparently I was supposed to wait til tomorrow, but I just couldn't! Sorry friend! Although it did make me laugh, cuz it combines two things I love (the Ramones and the Simpson) with one thing I hate (birthdays.)

Inspired by GG.

Some Schoolhouse Rock to make your life happy.

Follow Up!

Video, with "personalized" lyrics. Cuz I'm just that pathetic and angry.




"Before He Cheats"

Right now he's probably out drinkin' with that orange haired tramp,
and she's probably getting frisky...
right now, he's probably buying her some fruity little drink cause she can't shoot whiskey...

Right now, he's probably up behind her with a pool-stick, showing her how to shoot a combo...

And he don't know...

That I dug my key into the side of his pretty little Mazda 929,
carved my name into his leather seats...
I took a Louisville slugger to both head lights,
slashed a hole in all 4 tires...

Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats.

Right now, he's probably up singing some
Shit-ass version of Pantera karoke..
Right now, she's probably saying "I'm drunk"
and he's a thinking that he's gonna get lucky,
Right now, he's probably dabbing on 3 dollars worth of that bathroom polo...
And he don't know...

That I dug my key into the side of his pretty little Mazda 929,
carved my name into his leather seats,
I took a Louisville slugger to both head lights,
slashed a hole in all 4 tires...

Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats.

I might saved a little trouble for the next girl,
Cause the next time that he cheats...

Oh, you know it won't be on me!

Ohh... not on me...
Cause I dug my key into the side of his pretty little Mazda 929,
carved my name into his leather seats...
I took a Louisville slugger to both head lights,
slashed a hole in all 4 tires...

Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats.

Ohh.. Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats...

Ohh... before he cheats...

Ian Loomis is a jackass. He's got the tattoo that proves it... TOOL. Couldn't have said it better myself.

Lyrics

Song for the Dumped - Ben Folds Five

So you wanted
to take a break
Slow it down some and
have some space
Well fuck you too
Give me my money back
Give me my money back
you bitch
I want my money back
(And don't forget to give
me back my black T-Shirt)
Wish I hadn't bought you dinner
Right before you dumped me
on your front porch
Give me my money back
Give me my money back
You bitch
I want my money back
and don't forget
And don't forget.


Puke - Eminem

[Eminem puking]
There I go thinking of you again

[Chorus]
You don't know how sick you make me
You make me fucking sick to my stomach
Everytime I think of you I puke
You must just not not know
You may not think you do
But you do everytime I think of you I puke

[Verse 1]
I was gonna take the time to write you a little poem
But off of the dome would probably be a little more
More suitable for this type of song woah
I got a million reasons off the top of my head that I can think of
Sixteen bars just ain't enough to put some ink to
So fuck it I'm a start right here I'll just be briefer
'Bout to rattle off some other reasons
I knew I shouldn't go and get another tattoo of you on my arm
But what the hell'm I gonna do?
I go and get another one now I got two
Oooooh
Now 'm sittin' here with your name on my skin
I can't believe I went and did this stupid shit again
My next girlfriend now her name's gotta be Kim
If you only knew how much I hated you
For every mothafuckin thing you ever put us through
Then I wouldn't be standin' here cryin' over you boooohooooo

[Chorus]
You don't know how sick you make me
You make me fucking sick to my stomach
Everytime I think of you I puke
You must just not not know
You may not think you do
But you do everytime I think of you I puke

[Verse 2]
I was gonna take the time to sit down and write you a little letter
But I thought a song would prolly be a little better instead of a letter
That you'd prolly just shred up
I stumbled on your picture
Yesterday and it made me stop and think of how much of a waste
It would be to put some ink to a stupid piece of paper
I'd rather have you see how much I fucking hate you in a freestyle
You're a fucking slut, I hope you fucking die
I hope you get to hell and Satan sticks a needle in your eye
I hate your fucking guts you fucking slut I hope you die (diiiiiie)
But please don't get me wrong I'm not bitter I'm mad
It's not that I still love you its not that I want you back
It's just that when I think of you it makes me wanna yak
But what else can I do I haven't gotta clue
Now I guess I just move on I got no choice but to
But everytime I think of you now all I want to do is puke

[Chorus]
You don't know how sick you make me
You make me fucking sick to my stomach
Everytime I think of you I puke
You must just not not know
You may not think you do
But you do everytime I think of you I puke

[Outro]
[Eminem puking]
Fucking bitch


Married with Children - Oasis

There's no need for you to say you're sorry
Goodbye I'm going home
I don't care no more so don't you worry
Goodbye I'm going home

I hate the way that even though you
Know you're wrong you say you're right
I hate the books you read and all your friends
Your music's shite it keeps me up all night

There's no need for you to say you're sorry
Goodbye I'm going home
I don't care no more so don't you worry
Goodbye I'm going home

I hate the way that you are so sarcastic
And you're not very bright
You think that everything you've done's fantastic
Your music's shite it keeps me up all night

And it will be nice to be alone
For a week or two
But I know that I will be
Right back here with you

There's no need for you to say you're sorry
Goodbye I'm going home
I don't care no more so don't you worry
Goodbye I'm going home

I hate the way that even though you
Know you're wrong you say you're right
I hate the books you read and all your friends
Your music's shite it keeps me up all night


Call me when you're sober - Evanescense

Can't keep believing,
We're only deceiving ourselves,
And I'm sick of the lies,
And you're too late.

Don't cry to me.
If you loved me, you would be here with me.
You want me, come find me.
Make up your mind.

Couldn't take the blame,
Sick with shame.
Must be exhausting to lose your own game.
Selfishly hated,
No wonder you're jaded,
You can't play the victim this time.
And you're too late.

So, don't cry to me.
If you loved me, you would be here with me.
You love me, come find me.
Make up your mind.

You never call me when you're sober,
You only want it 'cause it's over - it's over.

How could I have burned paradise.
How could I, you were never mine?

So, don't cry to me.
If you loved me, you would be here with me.
Don't lie to me, just get your things.
I've made up your mind.


You're Breaking My Heart - Harry Nilsson

You're breakin' my heart
You're tearin' it apart
So fuck you
All I want to do
Is have a good time
Now I'm blue

You wanna boogaloo
Run down to Tramps
Have a dance or two--ooh!

You're breaking my heart
You're tearin' it apart
But fuck you
You're breakin' my heart
You're tearin' it apart
Ooh!--ooh!--

You stepped on my ass
You're breaking my glasses too

You wanna drive my car
Buy a lot of stuff
I've had enough
Of you--ooh!
I'm goin' insane
There's no one to blame
So fuck you

You've gotta have your way
There's nothin' left to say
There's nothin' left to do--ooh!
You're breakin' my heart
You're tearin' it apart
So fuck you

You've gotta have your way
There's nothin' left to say
There's nothin' left to do--ooh!
You're breakin' my heart
You're tearin' it apart
But I love you


Fuck it - Eamon

Whoa oh oh
Ooh hooh
No No No

[Verse 1:]
See i dont, know why, i liked you so much
I gave you all, of my trust
I told you, i loved you, now thats all down the drain
Ya put me through pain, i wanna let u know that i feel

[chorus:]
Fuck what i said it dont mean shit now
Fuck the presents might as well throw em out
Fuck all those kisses, it didnt mean jack
Fuck you, you hoe, i dont want you back

Fuck what i said it dont mean shit now
Fuck the presents might as well throw em out
Fuck all those kisses it didnt mean jack
Fuck you, you hoe, i dont want you back

[verse 2:]
You thought, you could
Keep this shit from me, yeah
Ya burnt bitch, i heard the story
Ya played me, ya even gave him head
Now ya askin for me back
Ya just another hag, look elsewhere
Cuz ya done with me

Fuck what i said it dont mean shit now
Fuck the presents might as well throw em out
Fuck all those kisses it didnt mean jack
Fuck you, you hoe, i dont want you back

Fuck what i said it dont mean shit now
Fuck the presents might as well throw em out
Fuck all those kisses it didnt mean jack
Fuck you, you hoe, i dont want you back

Oh oh Oh oh
Uh hun yeah
Oh oh Oh oh
Uh hun yeah
Oh oh Oh oh
Uh hun yeah
Oh oh Oh oh
Uh hun yeah

Ya questioned, did i care
You could ask anyone, i even said
Ya were my great one
Now its, over, but i truly mean im sad
It hurt real bad, i cant sweat that, cuz i loved a hoe

Fuck what i said it dont mean shit now
Fuck the presents might as well throw em out
Fuck all those kisses it didnt mean jack
Fuck you, you hoe, i dont want you back

Oh oh Oh oh
Uh hun yeah
Oh oh Oh oh
Uh hun yeah
Oh oh Oh oh
Uh hun yeah
Oh oh Oh oh
Uh hun yeah
[Until the end]


Fuck You - Anna David

Mhhh Yeah Yeah

There was a time when you would call me up and make me sad
Through the night I’d wait for you because you needed it
And I would stick around and confide in you and take your shit
But that all ends now

I think you should take all your stuff now and go away
You I am sure you'll find another girl who wants to play
All the fucked up games that you have put me through
Boy that’s over now

Try to concede, I want you to leave (oh no no)
No more to say, just go away (just go away)
Can’t you see that I got nothing left for you? (oh, nothing left for you)

For all the game and the sleepless nights
For all the tears and all the endless fights
For all the treading and all for all the times you
Used me, felt through, word through, fuck you (oh)

For all the times that you pissed me off (you pissed me of)
For all the times you were many low
For all the times that you just dissed me (yeah)
Forget me, felt through, word through, fuck you (so fuck you)

There was a time when just a touch from you would make me high
I would cry with you and laugh with you and loved you boy
Now I see that it was wrong to put my trust in you (so it’s over)

Try to concede, I want you to leave (uh yeah)
No more to say, just go away (just go away)
Can’t you see that I got nothing left for you? (oh, nothing left for you)

For all the game and the sleepless nights (oh oh)
For all the tears and all the endless fights (your just not strong enough)
For all the treading and all for all the times you
Used me, felt through, word through, fuck you

For all the times that you pissed me off
For all the times you were many low
For all the times that you just dissed me (oh yeah)
Forget me, felt through, word through, fuck you (so fuck you, oh, uh hey oh yeah)

For all the game and the sleepless nights
For all the tears and all the endless fights
For all the treading and all for all the times you (you did me wrong)
Used me, felt through, word through, fuck you

For all the times that you pissed me off (oh, you pissed me of)
You For all the times you were many low (were many low)
For all the times that you just dissed me
Forget me, felt through, word through, fuck you

Ohhhhhhh (so fuck you)
All the sleepless nights
Oh oh yeah yeah

For all the game and the sleepless nights (you did me wrong)
For all the tears and all the endless fights (oh)
For all the treading and all for all the times you
Used me, felt through, word through, fuck you

For all the times that you pissed me off (you pissed me off)
For all the times you were many low
For all the times that you just dissed me (yeah)
Forget me, felt through, word through, fuck you

Fuck you


I Will Survive - Gloria Gaynor

First I was afraid
I was petrified
Kept thinking I could never live
without you by my side
But I spent so many nights
thinking how you did me wrong
I grew strong
I learned how to carry on
and so you're back
from outer space
I just walked in to find you here
with that sad look upon your face
I should have changed my stupid lock
I should have made you leave your key
If I had known for just one second
you'd be back to bother me

Go on now go walk out the door
just turn around now
'cause you're not welcome anymore
weren't you the one who tried to hurt me with goodbye
you think I'd crumble
you think I'd lay down and die
Oh no, not I
I will survive
as long as i know how to love
I know I will stay alive
I've got all my life to live
I've got all my love to give
and I'll survive
I will survive

It took all the strength I had
not to fall apart
kept trying hard to mend
the pieces of my broken heart
and I spent oh so many nights
just feeling sorry for myself
I used to cry
Now I hold my head up high
and you see me
somebody new
I'm not that chained up little person
still in love with you
and so you felt like dropping in
and just expect me to be free
now I'm saving all my loving
for someone who's loving me

Warning.

I'm going to be disgusting and somewhat racist, just so you know. I'm very very angry. There's no excuse for my words, but I'm just so angry that I can't help it. Sorry. If you think I might offend you then don't even bother reading. I can't fucking take people anymore. Sorry.

First, a video.


Now, for the shit.

Well, obviously the cop took my driver's license. However, according to my attorney, I can go to the BMV and get a duplicate copy or a temporary state ID. So that is what I tried to do Saturday afternoon and this morning. Both times I was turned down. They couldn't give me a reason. Saturday I had to deal with these goddamn spics, I thought I was going to go off on them in Spanish, since they could barely speak English as it were. Why the fuck does the government hire assholes like that to work in their places?! When is the last time you had a real American wait on you? Fuck. This morning I went in all early, fucking 08:15, and these goddamn Negroes fucking park in two spots so my mom has to drop me off. I walk in, the woman just stands there, so I walk around her since she isn't moving and I take a number. My number is called right away, and I go up, and this bitch is like "Well I was here first but she walked in front of me and took a number" to which the fucking emo employee replies that she needs to just take a number. Then he proceeds to piss me off and I want to grab his too-long bangs off his face and rip them from his gay little head. I hate the government sometimes. So then I'm all pissed off, and apparently my mom thinks this is a good time to tell me what a fuck up I am. She wants to go to Bob Evans but I have no appetite so I get dropped off at fucking 08:30 at work. FUCK.

The good things that happened this weekend are as follows: had fun Friday night with my friends, even tho Dooger took me home and tried to fuck me, but I wouldn't let him, got new glasses on Saturday for my birthday, even tho they won't be here til next week, had fun with my friends on Saturday night, and got to see my pretty Psyndi and Stromp, even tho I wasn't really drunk and I wanted to be, Sunday I got a delicious mariachi pizza from Donatos, even tho I had no one to share it with and the cats ate 1/2 a piece each (it has jalapenos on it!)

Now, a video.


So, I'm still busted up over Poke. I don't know why. I'm so fucking angry with him for how he left me, so pissed that he is being so cold and mean to me for no goddamn reason, and so disgusted that he is fucking that stupid whore. For real. Everyone is like "oh just fuck him, he wasn't worth it anyway, etc." but it's not that easy. If I ever see him, especially if he's with her, I'm going to bash her head against the concrete and slap him across his goddamn mouth with my bloody palm. (Yeah, I wish I could really do that, I'm too much of a pussy to try it and I'm already facing 3 days in jail for this ovi, so I never would, and you all know it. But it's a pleasant thought.)

Yet another video.


The disgusting thing that happened to me that was actually quite pleasant is not for the faint of heart. I really shouldn't even talk about it, but it was such a relief that I have to share. So, I have nice cute feet, and I used to regularly get pedicures. I haven't had one in about nine months though! My toes are cute and don't have jaggedy nails or anything, but this one nail on my left big toe was kinda hurting. So I'm like, looking at it all close up and shit, and I'm like why the fuck does this hurt so much?! Turns out that my cute lil nail had been growing back into my skin. I couldn't stand the pain, it hurt just to brush against it, so I busted out the clippers and the little scraper/cuticle stick thing, and I went to it. Aaaah, such relief and instantly no pain when I finally got my nail out from under my skin. OMG. I could walk without having to lift up my big toe! There was a lot of blood though, so much that I really almost yakked. But I didn't mind, I was fucking thrilled that the pain was gone. I'll have to keep an eye on it to make sure that doesn't happen again.

The last video.

To Keep Me from Thinking...

Here is a nice story.

The Kiss...

He had just saved her from a fire in her house, rescuing her by carrying her out of the house into her front yard, while he continued to fight the fire. She is pregnant. When he finally finished putting the fire out, he sat down to catch his breath and rest. A photographer from the Charlotte , North Carolina newspaper, "The Observer," noticed her in the distance looking at the fireman. He saw her walking straight toward the fireman and wondered what she was going to do. As he raised his camera, she came up to the tired man who had saved her life and the lives of her babies and kissed him just as the photographer snapped this photograph.

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And they say animals are stupid.

Fuck You.

I updated my MySpace profile, w00t. Clicky clicky.


The inspiration for the new profile is the fact that Poke left me for a fat fuckin' goth whore bitch with two kids (keep in mind, he hates kids, doesn't want any.) I can't believe that shit. So anyway, fuck him right in the ear. She's so disgusting, it makes me sick just to think about it. More so than just thinking about him bangin' other girls. She leaves these fuckin' comments on his page, omg, I could just beat her head in. She totally ruined our relationship, and the fucked up thing is that I KNEW she would and there was nothing I could do to stop it. Fucking cunt. I hope he fucks her over. Send her hate mail! What fucking jerk. Anyway, I made my new profile, then I found this song!



And then, this morning, I had a wonderful conversation with my friend, Pxian, who used to be a dude but now he's a she. It's awesome.

Stephie: Hey, babe!
Kel: hey there
Stephie: How are you?
Kel: fairly shitty
Stephie: what's the matter?
Kel: my boyfriend left me a week ago for some goth whore bitch
Kel: then
Kel: on tuesday i got arrested for speeding and ovi
11:51
Stephie: aww. That is shitty.
Kel: yes it really is
11:56
Stephie: come visit me. We'll go shopping and have crazy lesbian sex!
12:01
Kel: hahaha
Kel: that would be so weird for me
Kel: to have crazy lesbian sex with a girl who used to be a dude that i wanted to have sex with
Stephie: :X
Kel: >:D<
Kel: plus i'm broke
Kel: hahaha
Kel: brb
Stephie: Yeah. Me too.
Stephie: ok.
12:06
12:12
Kel: ok back
Stephie: Cool.
Kel: so how are YOU?
12:16
Stephie: good. Horny. O:-)
Kel: hahaha
Kel: wait a minute
Kel: u wouldn't have sex w/me!
Kel: i thought you like boys!
Kel: :-?
Stephie: I Like everyone!
Kel: \:D/
12:21
Stephie: hehe
Kel: have ur cake and eat it too ;)
Stephie: Love cake!
Kel: <-- hates cakes
Kel: i hate sugar lol
Stephie: i thought cake was code for vagina.:D
Kel: hehehehe
Kel: negative, not in this conversation at least
Kel: but LMFAO that does make sense.
Stephie: Yup. Makes total sense.
Kel: wow. hello, my name is dense. and you are? LOL
12:26
Stephie: haha
Stephie: Lady Godiva
Kel: sweeeet
Stephie: Lovin' it.

So now you know why my blog was shut down for a few days. I got arrested and it was fucked up. It was my own fault because I was doing something that I don't normally do, and that was speed. If I hadn't been speeding I wouldn't have gotten pulled over and I wouldn't have had to do all those field sobriety tests while bawling my eyes out. Fuck. They took my license, it's immediately suspended for 90 days, and they impounded my car (but my parents got it back.) It's fucking wonderful. This has been the worst year EVER. So far, I busted the tire on my car, Poke left me, and now this OVI bullshit. I fuckin' hate my life.

Poll. And sad lyrics.

How should I handle this? Move on.Wait.Write him mean notes.Write him nice notes.Go thru his friends. View Results

Nobody's Fool
------Cinderella

I count the falling tears
They fall before my eyes
Seems like a thousand years
Since we broke the ties
I call you on the phone
But never get a rise
So sit there all alone
It's time you realize

I'm not your fool
Nobody's fool
Nobody's fool
I'm no fool
Nobody's fool
Nobody's fool
Never again, no, no

You take your road, I'll take mine
The paths have both been beat
Searchin' for a change of pace
Love needs to be sweetened
I scream my heart out, just to make a dime
And with that dime I bought your love
But now I've changed my mind

I'm not your fool
Nobody's fool
Nobody's fool
I'm no fool
Nobody's fool
Nobody's fool
Never again, no, no
Nobody's fool
Nobody's fool
I'm no fool
Nobody's fool
Nobody's fool

I count the falling tears
They fall before my eyes
Seems like a thousand years
Since we broke the ties
Ohhh

I'm not your fool
Nobody's fool
Nobody's fool
I'm no fool
Nobody's fool
Nobody's fool
I'm no fool
Nobody's fool
Nobody's fool
I'm no fool
Nobody's fool
Nobody's fool

Nobody's fool
Nobody's fool
Nobody's fool
Nobody's fool

Nobody's fool
Nobody's fool
No, nobody's fool
Nobody's fool
No, nobody's fool, yea
Nobody's fool
Nobody's fool




Everybody's Changing
------Keane

You say you wander your own land
But when I think about it
I don't see how you can

You're aching, you're breaking
And I can see the pain in your eyes
Says everybody's changing
And I don't know why.

So little time
Try to understand that I'm
Trying to make a move just to stay in the game
I try to stay awake and remember my name
But everybody's changing
And I don't feel the same.

You're gone from here
Soon you will disappear
Fading into beautiful light
'cause everybody's changing
And I don't feel right.

So little time
Try to understand that I'm
Trying to make a move just to stay in the game
I try to stay awake and remember my name
But everybody's changing
And I don't feel the same.

So little time
Try to understand that I'm
Trying to make a move just to stay in the game
I try to stay awake and remember my name
But everybody's changing
And I don't feel the same.

Ooo...
Everybody's changing
And I don't feel the same.

Deep Thoughts for Those Who Take Life WAY too Seriously.

1. Save the whales. Collect the whole set.

2. A day without sunshine is like, Night.

3. On the other hand, you have different fingers

4. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

5. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

6. Remember, half the people you know are below average.

7. He who laughs last thinks slowest.

8. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

9. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.

10. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.

11. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

12. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.

13. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.

14. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.

15. OK, so what's the speed of dark?

16. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

17. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

18. Every one has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.

19. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?

20 Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines

21. What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

22. I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
23. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

24. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened

25. Just remember -- if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.

26. Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

27. Life isn't like a box of chocolates . . . it's more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your butt tomorrow.

I don't know what happened.

Well Poke and I broke up. Technically, he broke up with me. He's already taken all my pics off his myspace, changed his status, and removed me from his friends list. Wonderful. I haven't been this miserable in a long time... and I don't know what to do.

Your Love - The Outfield

Josie's on a vacation far away
Come around and talk it over
So many things that I'd like to say
You know I like my girls a little bit older
I just wanna use your love tonight
I don't wanna lose your love tonight

I ain't got many friends left to talk to
No-one's around when I'm in trouble
You know I'd do anything for you
Stay the night - we'll keep it under cover
I just wanna use your love tonight
I don't wanna lose your love tonight

Try to stop my hands from shakin'
Somethin' in my mind's not makin' sense
It's been awhile since we've been all alone
I can't hide the way I'mm feelin'

As you leave me please would you close the door
and forget what I told you
Just 'cause you're right - that don't mean I'm wrong
Another shoulder to cry upon
I just wanna use your love tonight
I don't wanna lose your love tonight
Yeah
I just wanna use your love tonight
I don't wanna lose your love tonight
Lose your love
Lose your love
Lose your love

Proof Dolphins are Evil

And another thing...

Shamrock

...Towing company. Nice guys.

Fuck man, just when things are going my way I'm bitch slapped by the large hand of this monster called reality. I hate my life.

Driving home last night, I hit a pothole or the curb or some shit, keep in mind I was not drunk, and tada, there went my tire. Of course I have no tire iron and no jack for my car, well I mean I don't have the jack/tire iron that goes with my car, I have a separate jack. So we are out in the freezing cold trying to call everyone we know that might be up at 2am... not much luck. The cops come, they don't have a tire iron! I call the tow co., they tell me 1/2 hour, which turns into an hour... when he finally shows up he can't even change the tire because the (goddamn sports) car sits too low to the ground and the jack he has is too big. GREAT! So Poke dropped $80 on a fuckin tow to the house. I feel like a big asshole. With hemorrhoids.

I'm hungry. I'm broke. I feel like the worst girlfriend ever. I only got three hours of sleep last night. FUCK!!!!!

Jesus Cripes, Son of Gosh.

I fucking hate Dolphins. More on that later.

I haven't been posting much lately, mostly because I actually have a life now. Poke and I are still doing swimmingly, work is still slow and I'm still retardedly broke, etc. etc. etc. The good news is that my mom is giving me their big TV and entertainment center so I'm very happy about that. The other good news is... Special K is tasty.



So. Friday night... Poke and I went to Groucho's for Cat's new karaoke show. It was quite fun. Very crowded, but I got to sing three times I think. Saturday we were going to see this lame band that Poke's friends are in, but we ended up at this dude's house instead and hung out there all night. It was very fun! We just chilled, drank beer, and talked about pretty much everything under the sun. Quite amusing and interesting at times.

Sunday we went to TGI Friday's for their $12.99 3 course special and it was AWESOME. Our waiter was a huge chatch (that's Poke's word that I really like!) and tried really really hard to be funny and friendly, and only succeeded slightly. But it was alright. Mmmmmm. I highly recommend the "grown up mac'n'cheese", it is oh-so-delightful. We hung around the house after that and watched "Inside Man" which is a very good movie. I had already seen it but Poke hadn't so we just got it again. Good times. At night we went to karaoke at Eldo's. It was GG's birthday the next day, so she met us there around ten or so.
This was probably the most fun I've had at karaoke in a long time. I got to see people I hadn't seen in forever, we did some shots and drank tons of beer and I got to sing and sing and sing. Some weird fellow was there giving away lame jewelry, and he gave me some earrings and gave GG a pin shaped like a zebra. She was not amused. At midnight we sang "Happy Birthday" and that definitely did amuse GG. Later, some lame, strike that, fucking weird guy named... I don't remember... came over and started harassing us. He was wasted, and kept telling GG how much he loves dogs or something. I told my favorite bartender BC about it, and he made the guy go away. All in all, a very good night. Oh yeah, and Poke sang the Stone Sour song "Through Glass" and it was awesome.

So, another thing that happened at karaoke was this stupid chick wanted to sell Poke some tools after seeing his tattoo. Now, below is a picture of the tattoo. Let me ask you: does this look like the neck of a handy man or a music fan? Cripes. Disclaimer: the lines are straight but i had to have him stretch his neck out to get a good pic, lol.




Yesterday I did not go to work because I felt shitty. Not hung over, just cough-y and stuff. I slept all day and was a very boring girlfriend, but we did get to pick up my car! Yay! No longer busted! I almost cried spending $500. Because my car was no longer in the shop, Poke decided to go home to his house last night. I was very sad so I got some Beast and watched my shows all night long. Which leads me to the next topic of discussion...

I hate dolphins, they are absolutely disgusting with their funky blowholes and the fact that when they are fetuses they grow legs which actually like fuse back into their bodies and they have no vocal chords only air holes to make noise and they have long ugly noses and they are just sick. I hate them.

Totally Random

These are my OSU boobs.



This is my OSU fan boyfriend.



This is a funny joke:

As a woman passes her daughter's closed bedroom door, she heard a strange buzzing noise coming from within. Opening the door, she observed her daughter giving herself a real workout with a vibrator. Shocked, she asked:

"WHAT IN THE WORLD ARE YOU DOING?"

Tthe daughter replied: "Mom, I'm thirty-five years old, unmarried, and this thing is about as close as I'll ever get to a husband. Please, GO AWAY AND LEAVE ME ALONE."

The next day, the girl's father heard the same buzz coming from the other side of the closed bedroom door. Upon entering the room, he observed his daughter making passionate love to her vibrator. To his query as to what she was doing, the daughter said: "Dad, I'm thirty-five years old, unmarried, and this thing is about as close as I'll ever get to a husband. Please, GO AWAY AND LEAVE ME ALONE."

A couple days later, the wife came home from a shopping trip, placed the groceries on the kitchen counter, and heard that buzzing noise coming from, of all places, the living room. She entered that area and observed her husband sitting on the couch, downing a cold beer, and staring at the TV.

The vibrator was next to him on the couch, buzzing like crazy.

The wife asked: "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?"

The husband replied: "I'm watching football with my son-in-law."

High'n'Tight Y'ALL!!!

Last night, I LITERALLY laughed for about fifteen minutes and almost threw up from not breathing and got high from all the oxygen I inhaled after watching this girl. OH MY GOD.

It shouldn't be safe for work because you might spit your coffee on your monitor, but it is...

The Results Are In!

My Theme Song Is...

CONTROL by PUDDLE OF MUDD
How appropriate. Thanks guys.

The Soundtrack of My Life

IF YOUR LIFE WAS A MOVIE, WHAT WOULD THE SOUNDTRACK BE?

So, here's how it works:
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. No repeat artists
7. No cheating and doctoring your list to make yourself look cooler than the person you took this from!


Opening Credits:
"White Trash Wedding" - Dixie Chicks
How fucking appropriate!

First Day At School:
"Baby Please Don't Go" - Chicago
Awww!

Falling In Love:
"Across the Field" - The Ohio State University Marching Band
Interesting... kind of applies to Poke and I though!

Breakin Up:
"Stan" - Emeinem featuring Elton John live
Scary. OMG, so scary.

Prom:
"Tonight Tonight" - Smashing Pumpkins
What am I, emo 1995?

Sex scene:
"After Midnight" - Eric Clapton
Yeah baby! We're gonna let it all hang out!

Life's Ok:
"Hey Good Lookin'" - Jimmy Buffett and various artists
How cute and sugary and sappy.

Mental Breakdown:
"Fool on the Hill" - The Beatles
Nice. Totally appropriate. This survey is starting to scare me.

Driving:
"All for Love" - Rod Stewart, Bryan Adams, and Sting
Seems like a song I'd play after murdering my lover and I'm on a low-speed race for the state line...

Flashback:
"Summertime" - The Who
Well that's ghey.

Getting Back Together:
"Zero" - Smashing Pumpkins (wtf, how'd they get on here twice, those bastards!)
I don't really get this one... but okay.

Birth of Child:
"God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen" - Traditional Christmas Carol
Jesus Christ. No pun intended. This could be taken two ways... either the child was the product of a gang bang, or the child is the next messiah... hmmm.

Wedding Scene:
"Whisky in the Jar" - U2 live in Dublin
ROCK ON!!

Final Battle:
"A Day in the Life" - The Beatles
Oh lord. How sad. But for real.

Death Scene:
"Rescue Me" - Uncle Kracker
LAME! Good song but sheesh.

Funeral Scene:
"Behind Blue Eyes" - Pete Townshend live acoustic
OMG if this played at my funeral I would come back from the grave just to weep for myself.

End Credits:
"Closer to the Heart" - Rush
I see. Hmmm.

I'm asking one more time...

Before I get bored...

What should my theme song be? She Don't Use Jelly Control Don't Stop Me Now Cigarettes & Choc. Milk Living Dead Girl View Results

Fear the Sweater Vest!

Unfortunately, the Gators did not fear the sweater vest. Instead they chomped us! Fuckers. Although I can't say I blame them for slaughtering the Buckeyes... we pretty much sucked. After Ted Ginn Jr. ran the field for a touchdown 30 seconds into the game, it was all over. We only scored one more touchdown after that, whereas Florida scored two field goals and four touchdowns. Fuckin' 40-14! Bullshit. WTF BUCKS?! Oh well. I'm very proud of my hometown team to have been undefeated all season and to have made it to the Fiesta Bowl. We had an awesome team, and we'll have an awesome team next year, and it will be better than ever.


Now, some random pics. For more info (ie, a gay lil article) click here. I'd also like to mention that apparently there is some curse for Heisman Trophy winners who play in bowl games. Weird. Poor Troy Smith!

Troy Smith

Troy Smith

Gators.