Can I have YOUR attention please? (jackass)

1. Don't tell us when you think other girls are hot.
2. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
3. If you don't act like soap-opera guys, don't expect us to dress like Victoria Secret models.
4. Mark anniversaries on a calendar.
5. There is no such thing as too much spooning.
6. Just because you L the C doesn't mean we have to S the D.
7. This is how we see it . . . Don't call = Don't Care.
8. Which also means that if we don't call, take the hint.
9. We like you to be a little jealous . . . but overly possessive is not necessary.
10. Putting things in our butt does not turn us on.
11. Return favors: we massage, you massage; we go down, you go down; we shave, you shave (and not just your face).
12. Foreplay is not an option . . . its a prerequisite.
13. We're allowed to be late . . . you are not.
14. Eye contact is key.
15. Don't take longer to get ready than we do.
16. Laugh at our jokes.
17. Three words . . . honesty, honesty, honesty.
18. Girls can be groupies. Guy groupies are stalkers.
19. We never have to wonder if your orgasm was real.
20. Do not start with us. You will not win.
21. Would you like it if a guy treated your sister that way? We didn't think so.
22. If you ask nicely, we usually answer the same way.
23. We will never have enough clothes or shoes!
24. We have an excuse to act bitchy at least once a month.
25. Open the door for us no matter where we are . . . even at our house and getting into the car.
26. We love surprises!
27. We liked to be kissed softly, not with an iron tongue.
28.Pay attention to the little things we do, because they mean the most.
29. Boxers and maybe boxer briefs sometimes . . . NEVER tighty-whities, NEVER!
30. Clean your room before we come over.
31. Always brush your teeth before you see us . . . a fresh mouth and white teeth are a necessity.
32. When we use our teeth it means that you suck at going down on us, so we are just returning the favor.
33. Even though you are sometimes insensitive and hurt us, we still love you with everything we are.
34. Hit it and quit it, because later I'll be with you're best friend and he lasts for hours.
35. Don't act hard around your friends because I won't make you hard tonight.
36. Sometimes "NO!" really means "NO!"
37. "Wife Beaters" are not an adequate form of fashion.
38. If we wanted to be on video tape, we'd be a porn star, not your girlfriend.
39. Sensitive guys are great . . . but crying more than we do in a movie just isn't right.
40. Don't let ex-girlfriends cause drama, relationships are stressful enough.
41. It takes a special kind of stupid to forget birthdays.
42. Guys who are good cuddlers = guys who know how to satisfy a woman.
43. "Fat Chicks" have feelings too.
44. Silent treatment, shoulder shrugs, tears, yelling and nasty looks all add up to . . . YOU DID SOMETHING WRONG!
45. If you are not a good dancer, please be self-aware.
46. Just because a girl doesn't pick up on the first ring doesn't mean she's not waiting by the phone.
47. You don't have to spend a lot, if it means a lot.
48. Don't say you love me if you don't mean it.
49. Don't lie to us . . . we will catch you.
50. When the girls get together, we talk about EVERYTHING. Meaning my best friends know everything about you