Bee double Eee double ARE YOU ENN

Say it out loud. I promise you will laugh. Then you'll promptly feel kinda dumb.
In the style of B.Mac, I proudly yell, "BeeeEEEEEeeeR!"

Yes, my fellow Americans, I have given up Beer for Lent. I hear your shock - "She celebrates Lent?! Has she gone back to the church?! Oh My God, has it finally happened?!" Sadly, no. I was raised Catholic, as some of you may remember, but declared it a cult with a really awesome Koresh-nicahv (That would be My Big JP, I can't help but love the Pope because he used to be an actor.) I gave up Catholicism around age 17, and although they call me a Witch, I really prefer the term "Naturalist". Your shock should be at the fact that I made a solid commitment to not drink a drop of beer for 40 days straight. Not the commitment! THE BEER.

Maybe you don't understand me. Are you really hearing what I'm saying? Read my lips: No More Beer. No bread, no beer. No beer, no cigarettes. No cigarettes, no lung hacking. No lung hacking, more energy. More energy, more desire to exersize/move. More excersize, Less weight. Less weight = skinny = hot guys lining up at MY door. See, there is a plan.

However those other things come later (as I sit typing and pausing every so often to listen for the knock-knock-knock of the pizza delivery man) because right now the focus is on Beer. Or should that be off beer? Anyway, it's day #3 of the no-beer days and I rule. I forgot yesterday and took a sip, but I promptly used my powers to turn the beer into Holy Water and then it didn't count. Yes, I cheated, but Beer is the staff of life for me - now what am I going to lean on?! I tell you kids, it's a lot harder to not drink beer than it is to drink it. (I'm Ms. Obvious.)

This week was rather interesting. I found out that there is a mouse or something living in my wall behind the stove/oven. I don't know if the mexicans have come to fix it yet... fix it? Inspect it maybe... Who knows. All I know is that Sheeba is having a disturbing relationship with my spice rack and I'm just very worried about the effects of garlic on her silky smooth fur. What else happened this week? Well Wednesday I was broke so I stayed home and didn't call anyone. MF called me at 1:30am however, and told me that he missed me and so on. He sounded sincere. I miss him too. It was weird for him to move away, first because he had become like my best friend and second because I can no longer keep tabs on his cash flow (Yes, he still owes me $630.) We talked for a little while and then I fell asleep. It was a Jim Beam and No Beer night.

Thursday I went out with TM to The Jerk to meet WR for a couple drinks. WR's brother, MR, was there (cute but has weird lips... not sure if I dig that or not) and RB showed up too. Also, C. Peterson was there! I haven't seen him in almost two years. We worked together at CBMG (April- August 2003) and according to my soon-to-be-ex-husband, C. and I had an affair. Ha! I wish I'd had an affair with a hotty like C... mmmm... ok, off track.
We stayed at The Jerk for awhile (owner M bought me a Long Island and WR bought me the Beer/Holy Water) and then went down to Jimmie's Buckeye Lounge to see <3 TV <3 (those are little hearts, not "less than" 3's) and his brand spanking new karaoke show. It is a small place but it was okay. He had us run a few errands for us which was cool because he gave me $20 for gas. He had wanted us to stop by some place called Cliffside to see JB the other KJ (formerly of Tony's Bar and Grille) but we never got the call so we went back to JBL. JB ended up calling me while I was there and the music was loud so I thought he was talking to me about the show at Cliffside. Well I was asking him questions about it like how packed was it and so on, and he's like "Um, I'm not doing a show..." which was bad timing for me to repeat what he had said because TV (his boss) was standing right next to me... yeah. I felt like a chode but JB called me back and said that he didn't really give a flying fuck. I hope he's okay with his California Fitness Trainer job because I have a feeling that TV won't keep him around much longer. Oh well. At least I wasn't completely the cause of it... *sigh*

I danced with the white lady about four times last night and couldn't fall asleep until almost 5:30am. That really sucked. I don't know how I used to be a professional dancer like that - I woke up feeling like shit and I still kinda feel like shit. I'm so glad I stopped dancing seriously.

Today has been rather boring, but I think my pizza will be here soon. After that I am heading out to Zuey's because I haven't been there in a freaking week or more and my body just doesn't know what to do away from the Zue. (Haha, a poem.)

Late!