24 February 2005

Your cookies stink - they're waxy and stale.

OK. Some shit I had to get off my mind before I head a-drinking.

Things I like:

  • Sheeba
  • Crab Rangoon
  • Sushi
  • Alcohol
  • Fords
  • SK my brother
  • My job
  • WR
  • Sex
  • Eminem

Things I do NOT like:

  • Meanies
  • Kenny G
  • Chevys
  • Pizza
  • Meat (except tube steak har har har!)
  • You
  • Wet things
  • Slime
  • LF
  • Irwin Home Equity
  • Dogs
  • Chicken
  • Boys who play with heart strings

A simple list now, if you're smart you will figure it out:

  1. Donnie
  2. Matt C
  3. Victor
  4. Lee
  5. Sam
  6. Al
  7. Christian
  8. Chris
  9. BJ
  10. Jerry
  11. Scott-John
  12. John
  13. Matt M
  14. Doug
  15. Tony
  16. Joe
  17. Matt A
  18. Lynn
  19. Shawn
  20. Tony D
  21. Tony M
  22. Aaron
  23. Jay
  24. Mike the DJ not from Dockside
  25. Josh
  26. Nate
  27. Jonathan
  28. Trace
  29. Scott
  30. Jeff
  31. Drew
  32. Matt R
  33. Aaron J

If you're interested, yes, there are at least 1 or 2 missing. I suck.

When 50-Cent says, "Jump", you get on one foot and Jump Jump Jump Jump

Eventful week.
No calls from SB. He won't even answer mine. I'm being stupid and telling myself he's probably in Florida like he was supposed to be. I hate me.
Finally told LF what I really think of her. She hates me. Yay.
Got my tax return checks in the mail... $494 and $144 for 2002. I'm happy.
Got my settlement check from Carlene McLain's insurance company. She is a stupid drunk bitch who hit me with her car in December of 2003. I had to split my share of the settlement with MMA, but it is okay because I still got $2,000.
Opened my very own checking account. Finally.
Went to the gyno today... so far, no STDs (I wasn't worried anyway) but I'm awaiting test results... he gave me some medication to "rebalance the natural occurance of acids and bases" inside me... that was a new one for me.
Sigh. I've been spending TOO much time at Zuey's.
Chad threatened to kill me again on Monday.
Fucked a friend of MF's on Monday.
Skipper-do, time for the Zue.

20 February 2005

When Dr. Dre says "Crunk", you will get the crunk...

Fuck fuckity fuck fuck fuck.

Wednesday: Day starts out okay. Fever is gone, finally. Lunchtime, drive to south Columbus to pay my insurance bill, talk to SB on the way. Set up date for later that night to meet at Zuey's and set definite date for Thursday to go to dinner at 7pm. Spend afternoon elated. Later, go to Zuey's and talk to SB for a bit. Leave to meet the crowd at The Jerk. Try to sing karaoke, realize I have no voice, cop out not once but twice on two different songs. Laugh, drink, have very nice long conversations with WR's brother, MR. Go back to Zuey's with MR. Have one drink and more talk, make out, come back to my house. Very quick sex. See my first uncircumsized penis in real life. Become bewildered. Wonder why Aaroff hasn't shown up yet. Worry. MR leaves. Worry about Aaroff some more, call about a million times, no answer. Worry even more. Sleep.

Thursday: Spend all day excited for date, call Scott, no answer. After work, head to Polaris Fashion Place to get new outfit. Spend $62 on $90 outfit, feel proud, become elated over free belt. Head home. Power has been shut off. Stupid motherfucking AEP. Never got a letter about a deposit. Ask AEP employee if he wants to put me up in his house for the night. Nervous laughter... change into new outfit, go to Zuey's with intentions of drinking mass amounts of beer (to keep warm and drunk in my cold powerless home,) call SB on the way. Still no answer. Time: 7:45pm. Motherfucker. Get to Zuey's, sit next to B.Mac and Sh*. Show everyone my new belt. Start drinking drinks, no beer yet - I'm holding off as long as possible. J* and B* show up, say hi and mention something to Sh* about SB. SB shows up. DRUNK. Talks to me, not realizing its me, aplogizes when I remind him about dinner. He's been drinking shots since 3pm. It's 8:15pm. SB falls over a lot, touches my boob, girls give me evil looks and try and convince me that one of them is his girlfriend, SB falls some more, passes out in a booth, passes out in a chair, passes out while standing next to the Golden Tee game. Falls over a lot more. Leaves. Comes back. Someone finally takes his keys. Somewhere in there a glass is broken. TM calls me. I leave to get him without paying my tab. He puts me up in hotel for the night. Sleep finally comes around 5:30am after TM and Be* have left me to rest.

Friday: Day sucks. Hate sleeping in hotels. Work is boring, but everyone likes my new outfit. Ugly looking scratch on my face, I think it came from SB when he fell one me one of six times. After work LF, me, DM, and SU (her boyfriend and roommate, respectively) go to Cincinnati to party with Federated Land Title. LF shows her face and goes away with DM . SU hangs for a sec then joins them. I mingle. D*S. (owner) talks with me. I'm elated everytime he says my name like he's a fucking rock star or something. Bates sees me and wraps me in a giant hot guy hug. Tells me he's so happy to see me. Also tells me that everyone is just fucking thrilled with me, and that D*S. actually told him that he HIGHLY and GREATLY appreciates me as an employee. I get a little teary eyed. Talk to girls from Toldeo branch. I crack them up. Girls from Federated are nice. D*B is getting trashed fast. Double fisting Bud Light. My kinda girl. We joke about being lesbians. Talk to many other people. Constantly saying, "Hihowareya? I'm Kelly from Midwest in Columbus! Who are you?" Everyone loves me. Meet Vu and his wife. Meet Ed Maynard too. Hang a little with Deb's husband Nathan (nice guy) and Big Daddy Dave from Federated (keeps slapping my ass.) Talk to Tommy from the Westchester branch. He is nice. Hot too. Keeps asking me to come home with him. Realize that not only am I NOT drunk but I'm also excersizing good judgement when I decline. Jokingly tell him we could go fuck in the car. He smiles and says he only fucks in his bed. Get lots of hugs from lots of people. Everyone LOVES me. I crack people up. Tonight was my night. The whole time I think LF and DM have left since I still see SU sitting at the Midway Bar. Get pissed. LF finally shows up at some horse game. She's been there the whole time. Fuck a horse. She is ready to go now. Tries to rush me out the door without even saying goodbye to anyone. I tell her its rude and she should at least thank Deb and Jeff for putting on a great party. LF bitches. We leave after I make sure to say goodbye to every single person there, individually, just to piss her off. Tommy offers to take me home again. Back at the hotel LF becomes a super bitch. Says mean things about how many people I sleep with. I don't talk to her for the rest of the night. Sleep in a bed with big giant smelly SU. I have no pants and I hate it. Some folks from the party are loud next door and I really wanna go hang but I sleep instead. Steve calls the front desk to complain. LF's mouth keeps moving and I hear noise but I ignore her. It's over.

Saturday: Wake up, eat 1/2 a bagel at the free "Continental" breakfast, leave. Drive fast as ass back to Columbus cuz I'm tired. Drop SU at his house, call LF and tell her I'll be back later for H's birthday party (with no intention of coming back at all.) Go home. Read mail, sleep. Wake up at about 2pm, with no fucking voice. Feel like a mid-pubescent boy. Watch a movie. Try calling SB, his phone says, "At the subscriber's request, this phone no longer recieves incoming calls." Wonder, and hope its just the generic message the company puts up when they shut off your phone. Worry a little. Sleep. Wake up around 6pm. Watch some crap, sleep again. Wake up around 7:30pm. Watch some SVU, sleep, wake up in the middle of a new one and think I've gone crazy. Talk to Tony, decide to go to Zuey's. TM mentions rolling. I get kinda excited. Shower. Head to the Zue, pay my tab from Thursday. Drink one amaretto sour and talk to BR and B.Mac a little bit. Wonder why MR hasn't returned my call. Txtmsg NC and give him a dare to do. TM calls. I gotta go meet him to get the rolls. Finish my drink and leave. Debate calling SB. Call Aaroff instead. No answer, worry. Get to TM. Follow him to JF/OG/Be*'s house. Wait from fucking 11:15pm until 2am for the dumb rolls. While waiting, DJ M shows up with the one boy whose name I didn't remember and didn't ask again tonight and what appeared to be Nameless's girlfriend. Dance a little with the white lady. I take a few steps with her and decide that one is enough. Not feeling it anymore. Give MF a bracelet. He wants me to call him this week. They leave. Finally at 2am when the rolls arrive, I take it and wait. Nothing happens until almost 3:30am. Sucks. Comes on hard and fast but fades. Listen to Eminem, convinced he lives in my head. So glad I'm not on acid. I'm just fucking retarded. Watch about a million poker games and twitch a lot. Leave around 4:45am. Come home, wonder how my one big magnet got moved to the bottom part of the fridge. Blame it on Sheeba. Take out contacts, put on glasses, and start working on my blog. Think about SB. Wonder why.

Late, Kel

15 February 2005

Stupid and Contagious

Yes, that is me.

I've had a fever since Sunday morning. Yuck. Actually it's Midnight and I've been fever-free for ALMOST 24 hours. I hate having a fever because there is nothing you can do about it. Although I have been drinking Robitussin like it's my job since about 4:30pm this afternoon... That's the contagious part!

So today, I did something very Un-Kelly like - I joined a club. Not just any club mind you, a "health" club - California Fitness. Oh yes. $161.00 for a two month temporary membership... I'm hoping that working out 3 times a week for 2 months will be enough to jump start my metabolism and I won't have to do the whole year thing... we'll see.

That's isn't even the stupid part though. The stupid part is that I told myself I wasn't going to get all caught up in the whole SB shenanigan, but I am. I tried really hard, but I am. Yesterday was Valentine's Day, and although I am happier to be alone than to be with a shitty husband, it still sucked being alone on Valentine's Day. Nobody wished me Happy V-Day except DD, LF, and Eric... none of whom I desire to date (haha) and SB didn't call me either... TM saw him at Zuey's though, and according to TM, my name didn't even come up. *cry*

I am very confused about boys right now. Today is the first day I have drank since Saturday night and I am killing it. Time for me to go downstairs and down a few more before I pass out. Half my face is stuffed up and I have this weird dry cough so hopefully the alcohol will help.

Late, Kel

12 February 2005

Okay, recap of last night

So it was about 9:45pm, and I decided to call SB to see if he wanted to come over. He picked up his phone (score #1) and we talked for a minute. He said that he did indeed want to come over, but 1) he was in Zuey's parking lot, about to go in and meet his friends and 2) he was worried that I felt like he was using me for sex and had thought about cutting us off. I reassured him that I did not in fact feel like that, and TM had just fucked up my mind the other night. So he told me to meet him at Zuey's (I had planned on going anyway) and we'd hook up. Yay!

I got to The Zue around 10:15ish and JR was there so we talked a little bit before I went over to SB and said hi. The whole night was fairly boring, there was a Dj but he played some pretty shitty music and nobody I knew was there besides SB, J*, B*, B*'s old lady girlfriend, JR, BR, and MW. TG showed up later on and bought me two drinks, but after $15 and 2 hours, I was ready to leave. SB and J* had left about an hour before to go meet R* at the Pit Stop.

I called SB when I was leaving to see if he wanted to come over. He said I should just come to his place because he was a little too buzzed to drive to mine. So I headed on over, and when I got there I expected it to just be SB (mostly because it has always seemed that he isn't really interested in having me chill with him and his friends.) I walked up to his open front door and saw not one, but TWO of his buddies (R* and J*) inside and they were all just hanging and being boys. It was crazy. They were all starving and had to get pizza. R* had the wonderful idea to order it for pick up so SB and I could have some time alone. They were only gone about 10 minutes and we were right in the middle of a little oral action when we heard them pull up yelling and laughing. It was hilarious because they walked in and SB was like, "Do you see what I'm missing?!" and stood up to reveal his massive hard on... It was so funny because R* was like, "See J* I told you we should have gone back to my place for a few minutes!" Hahaha. They hung out some more and literally killed 2 pizzas in about 10 minutes and then left.

After this, everything proceeded as usual, with some heavy petting and so on, but it was somehow different. SB made it a point to light some candles and turn on his (cheesey but gives off romatic glow) neon guitar light and we sat on the couch for a minute just kinda touching on each other. I rubbed on his hair as always and he murmured, "I could fall in love with that" and just kept on caressing me in a way... less of a caressing-leading-to-sex way and more of a someother kind of way... I can't think of a word to describe it. Now comes the best/weirdest part. If you have been reading my blog regularly, you might remember that SB is not into kissing on the lips - he mentioned once that it's reserved for girlfriends only. Well last night I kid you not, we were just sitting and (this is gonna sound mushy like a romance novel) staring into each other's eyes and kind of enjoying the moment when he gently took my head in his hands and ran his fingers through my hair and kissed me straight on the lips. It was the most tender, sensual kiss I have had in a really REALLY long time. When he finally pulled away, he was still staring into my eyes, and he was like, "You know, I never kiss on the lips." I told him that I did remember, and that it made me feel kinda special. He replied that it should.

Note: I have no idea what to infer from this!!!!!

Moving on, as we sat on the couch after that kiss, he did nothing but compliment me. I was wearing my favorite sky-blue turtleneck sweater and he told me that the color made my eyes look very dark and sensuous, and the sweater itself made my "figure" look good (I'm assuming he meant tits, hahaha, because that is what everyone else says.) He said that he thought I looked really good in my glasses too, but he preferred without because he wants to know that I can see what he's doing to me... He just kept going on and on, constantly finding something after something to say about everything. My nipple peircings are looking great, my tits are beautiful, he loves the way I look right into his eyes all the time, he loves the way I touch his hair, the look on my face when I come, my ass (in general I suppose, there were no specifics.) It felt really good to have a man telling me all these wonderful things while he's slowly undressing me and gently touching me all over.

But I digress... we did our thing on the couch and then moved upstairs to his bedroom where we did it two more times - he made sure that I got off at least twice before he did, and the third time I wasn't even planning on it but he made me come anyway. It was awesome. And I don't know if I was just imagining this but somehow everything felt a little better, a little closer than just a fuck. I certainly got off better than I ever have with him, and he said that it was one of the best he's had in a long time too. (Of course you must remember that every time Scott and I have sex, he claims it's better than the time before and I'm "crazy good" because "Damn, girl, you really do something to me...") After that we kept drifting in and out of sleep and I kept telling him to go set his alarm (but he never did, hence the rushing wake up at 6am!) and we slept peacefully in each other's arms all night long. No boyfriend, not my husband, not even my mom when I was little - nobody I have ever slept in a bed with has EVER slept with their arm around me all night long without moving - except SB. *grin*

I'm in a terribly good mood today, but I'm not going to let this take me over. I'm going to keep going as I have been, and wait to see if he is going to make a move towards something more. Maybe he just didn't realise what kind of feelings I had until our all out conversation the other morning... or maybe he wanted me to actually say it out loud. He kept saying that day that we weren't just fuck buddies and we were friends too, and he definitely wasn't using me - he actually wants to spend time with me but he is so busy (which I can understand, I mean he works in some kind of construction type job, he has two kids, etc.) I think I may have turned some sort of corner though...

Back to Law & Order: SVU and my non-beer malt beverage.


I just got Home

I just got home.
It's 6:39am.
No, I was not in jail, or sleeping in my car, or out doing drugs.
I was sleeping in SB's bed until about 6:15am when he woke me up because he had to go to work... he wanted to let me sleep but didn't know what time he would be home this evening.
More later, right now I need to sleep a little more... and dream!

11 February 2005

Bee double Eee double ARE YOU ENN

Say it out loud. I promise you will laugh. Then you'll promptly feel kinda dumb.
In the style of B.Mac, I proudly yell, "BeeeEEEEEeeeR!"

Yes, my fellow Americans, I have given up Beer for Lent. I hear your shock - "She celebrates Lent?! Has she gone back to the church?! Oh My God, has it finally happened?!" Sadly, no. I was raised Catholic, as some of you may remember, but declared it a cult with a really awesome Koresh-nicahv (That would be My Big JP, I can't help but love the Pope because he used to be an actor.) I gave up Catholicism around age 17, and although they call me a Witch, I really prefer the term "Naturalist". Your shock should be at the fact that I made a solid commitment to not drink a drop of beer for 40 days straight. Not the commitment! THE BEER.

Maybe you don't understand me. Are you really hearing what I'm saying? Read my lips: No More Beer. No bread, no beer. No beer, no cigarettes. No cigarettes, no lung hacking. No lung hacking, more energy. More energy, more desire to exersize/move. More excersize, Less weight. Less weight = skinny = hot guys lining up at MY door. See, there is a plan.

However those other things come later (as I sit typing and pausing every so often to listen for the knock-knock-knock of the pizza delivery man) because right now the focus is on Beer. Or should that be off beer? Anyway, it's day #3 of the no-beer days and I rule. I forgot yesterday and took a sip, but I promptly used my powers to turn the beer into Holy Water and then it didn't count. Yes, I cheated, but Beer is the staff of life for me - now what am I going to lean on?! I tell you kids, it's a lot harder to not drink beer than it is to drink it. (I'm Ms. Obvious.)

This week was rather interesting. I found out that there is a mouse or something living in my wall behind the stove/oven. I don't know if the mexicans have come to fix it yet... fix it? Inspect it maybe... Who knows. All I know is that Sheeba is having a disturbing relationship with my spice rack and I'm just very worried about the effects of garlic on her silky smooth fur. What else happened this week? Well Wednesday I was broke so I stayed home and didn't call anyone. MF called me at 1:30am however, and told me that he missed me and so on. He sounded sincere. I miss him too. It was weird for him to move away, first because he had become like my best friend and second because I can no longer keep tabs on his cash flow (Yes, he still owes me $630.) We talked for a little while and then I fell asleep. It was a Jim Beam and No Beer night.

Thursday I went out with TM to The Jerk to meet WR for a couple drinks. WR's brother, MR, was there (cute but has weird lips... not sure if I dig that or not) and RB showed up too. Also, C. Peterson was there! I haven't seen him in almost two years. We worked together at CBMG (April- August 2003) and according to my soon-to-be-ex-husband, C. and I had an affair. Ha! I wish I'd had an affair with a hotty like C... mmmm... ok, off track.
We stayed at The Jerk for awhile (owner M bought me a Long Island and WR bought me the Beer/Holy Water) and then went down to Jimmie's Buckeye Lounge to see <3 TV <3 (those are little hearts, not "less than" 3's) and his brand spanking new karaoke show. It is a small place but it was okay. He had us run a few errands for us which was cool because he gave me $20 for gas. He had wanted us to stop by some place called Cliffside to see JB the other KJ (formerly of Tony's Bar and Grille) but we never got the call so we went back to JBL. JB ended up calling me while I was there and the music was loud so I thought he was talking to me about the show at Cliffside. Well I was asking him questions about it like how packed was it and so on, and he's like "Um, I'm not doing a show..." which was bad timing for me to repeat what he had said because TV (his boss) was standing right next to me... yeah. I felt like a chode but JB called me back and said that he didn't really give a flying fuck. I hope he's okay with his California Fitness Trainer job because I have a feeling that TV won't keep him around much longer. Oh well. At least I wasn't completely the cause of it... *sigh*

I danced with the white lady about four times last night and couldn't fall asleep until almost 5:30am. That really sucked. I don't know how I used to be a professional dancer like that - I woke up feeling like shit and I still kinda feel like shit. I'm so glad I stopped dancing seriously.

Today has been rather boring, but I think my pizza will be here soon. After that I am heading out to Zuey's because I haven't been there in a freaking week or more and my body just doesn't know what to do away from the Zue. (Haha, a poem.)


09 February 2005

Happy Fat Fucking Tuesday!

So yay. Mardi Gras. Blah. I give up giving things up for lent.

Guess who woke me up this morning?


At what time?


And what did he want?

~ Well apparently I left him a (drunken) upset message last night to call me as soon as he could today... he listened, score, and we talked for almost an hour this morning. He apologized for bailing so fast but had no excuse - although he did mention the fact that he has never lied to me (well, he did once but felt bad and ended up telling the truth shortly thereafter) and said he would try to answer the phone more and see me more and so on... although he still doesn't want to have a girlfriend... I actually called him out bluntly and he never missed a beat so I trust that he actually IS NOT with her still... long story... too tipsy to write...

Life Is Okay Today... still bitter because it is February but it happens. More tomorrow when I can concentrate - right now, it's time for more beer (my only friend) and I know this because Sheeba is licking my arm trying to get me to go downstairs...

I have a microwave now, maybe I will make some popcorn!


08 February 2005

A Conversation

  • Kelly : i hate everyone
  • Izzy : aww why is that?
  • Kelly : scott came over tonight
  • Izzy : even me, although I am not the best human being in the world?
  • Kelly : spent about 20 minutes telling me how beautiful and hot i am
  • Kelly : haha you are but...
  • Kelly : then we fucked
  • Izzy : but what?
  • Izzy : mm hmm
  • Kelly : lol you're far away and not my sexual type
  • Izzy : sorry I had a feelin
  • Kelly : well anyway, after scott and i were done and having a cigarette his "ex" girlfriend called
  • Kelly : he ran out the door to talk to her, came back in
  • Kelly : 5 min later she called again out the door he goes -comes back - "well i gotta get goin - Kelly it was great spending time with you"
  • Kelly : "but i gotta go to TJ's and then I guess I'm goin to her house"
  • Izzy : at this point I think I'm anyones type, so what happened after his ex called?
  • Kelly : see above
  • Izzy : ouch
  • Izzy : damn I type too slow too
  • Kelly : i said "i'm so hurt" and he says to not be hurt becuz he's not gonna sleep with her - becuz he doesn't want to AND he has a conscience - gives me a nice hug and is on his way - i fucking hate men - i dont know why i'm so undesirable and it is making me very upset
  • Kelly : its like how can you spend an hour telling me how beautiful and hot i am and fucking me - then go to your "ex" girlfriend's house?!
  • Kelly : and a guy will tell me "oh i dont want a girlfirend" then get some hoe as his woman
  • Izzy : yeah that is fucked up
  • Kelly : i think i'm nice - nice person, nice tits, nice pussy, nice cash flow, nice cooking, nice car, nice job, nice family
  • Kelly : seriously do i need to be a white trash fucking bitch to get a boyfriend? because all the white trash bitches I know have men
  • Izzy : funny I can't see how you are undesirable
  • Kelly : i know that i'm a bit nuerotic and very overweight and not so girly - but christ i'm not a terrible person
  • Izzy: *hug*
  • Kelly : awww thanks
  • Izzy : I dont know, you look fine to me
  • Kelly : thanky thanky
  • Kelly : i have been crying for like an hour straight
I give up on everyone. Seriously. If you have questions/comments/suggestions, feel free to post. Time for more beer - my only true friend.

06 February 2005

Stupid Bowl Sunday

I hate Stupid Bowl Sunday.

In fact, I hate the whole month of February.

It starts off with my birthday, which was fine the first 18 times, then the next 2 were torture until the 21st, and each one thereafter brings me closer to the end of my life.
Two weeks after my birthday we have Valentine's Day. Yee-fucking-ha. Another day to remind me of how fucked up my love life has been.
Then two weeks after that we have the end of February. 28 solid days of nothingness.

I am very bitter today.

So I have no money left, this move totally drained my wallet. I literally have ZERO dollars. Another thing to be bitter about. I am smoking Charter Menthol Lights and they taste like ass. I have no food in my kitchen (take that back, I have a chicken but it is frozen.) I have nothing to drink except 2 beers (cry, no beer!) Life is sucky today.

My birthday was on Tuesday (go me, I'm old) and so I went out to Tony's Bar and Grille (Chinese-American Cuisine) where everyone was supposed to meet me for karaoke and fun birthday times. Nobody showed up until late when TM and OG dropped by (TM was mad at me anyway but got over it.) I ended up getting plastered (yes, again, I know it's the phrase of my year) and started talking to one of the owners, SS (he only owns like 2% but it is more than I own!) Turns out that SS (aka Skilley - he has the skills to pay the bills) went to high school with all the guys I work with and even lived with DD's brother (who no longer works there anyway.) Skilley was hitting on me big time, and I ended up rubbing on his cock while we sat at the bar talking about drunk things. He has a really long cock - oh my god - it was only about 3 inches from his knee down his thing while he was sitting in a chair. I almost died right there. I showed a whole bunch of guys my nipple piercings, and JB too. He came over later and I gave him a blow job. He had the best tasting cum ever - I think it's because he works out and eats super healthy. That was awesome. Not a very happy birthday, but a very drunk/cocky birthday...

I went to Zuey's last Thursday and ran into SB . He was very drunk but not being an asshole. He was with his friend R*, who seemed nice enough but he was obviously just as drunk since he spilled a full beer all over the bar. Mc was there as well and he also spilled his beer all over trying to bolt across the corner to light my cigarette. *sigh* JR was there too and he was drunk and decided to profess a little bit of his undying love for me, but that was okay because I got my tools back.

I had one beer and decided to leave because I didn't want to spend all my money there, and I said good bye to SB and JR and Mc and as I was hugging KP good bye she was like "Hey, I'll buy you a beer!" So just as I had told everyone I was leaving, I took off my coat and sat down to have a beer. I know it must have looked weird to everyone but whatever - who can pass up free beer?! SB was sitting across the way with some of his friends, and after a minute the one redneck looking asshole not nice guy named Sh* started pointing at me with his beer and giving me weird looks. SB was leaning over the table so he kinda slowly turned and peered at me thru the nook of his arm and shot me the strangest look I have ever seen... I didn't know what to think. It was like when you are in a room and you can tell that the group of people over there is talking about you. I chugged my beer and left. As I was on my way home I called SB (who, as usual, didn't answer his phone) and left a message inquiring about the weird looks, and probably making the situation worse by telling him that I am not the kind of girl who will spy on someone... but that is how they made me feel. Anyway that was Thursday and it is Sunday now and he hasn't called me. LF says I shouldn't worry and he probably doesn't think anything of it (which he may not even remember due to his level of drunkenness) but I don't know. I'm not going to call him either... Well I'm going to try to not call him. He still has my movie though.

Friday night I felt like a convenience store. TM and J* came over to borrow my phone and take some of my heavy stuff upstairs for me. Then B (a friend of M the DJ ) stopped by to chat for a second. He was sitting all quiet on the couch and finally confessed to being really nervous because he remembered liking me when we had met at M's old apartment about 4-5 months ago. He had assumed TM was my boyfriend so he never followed up. He had to get back to Dockside, so he left and I gave him a hug and my number. (No call yet.) Then DS called me up and he was drunk. He said he wanted to come see the new place, so I told him how to get here (he was across the street.) He came in and point-blank asked if I wanted to make out. We did, and ended up fucking, which I know made him happy because he's been after me since last May. It was alright, I was just drunk and a little blown so the feeling wasn't really there. He does have a really sizeable member though, I may have to fuck him again when I'm not so trashed.

Last night JAFH took me out for my birthday - we went to Max and Erma's (yay!) like the old days. They changed their entire menu and it really threw me for a loop. I was semi-sad. After dinner we walked down to the wine store and bought a mini bottle of Chambord and a big bottle of wine (Yellowtail, Shiraz.) We went back to his place and chilled for awhile and then got into the hot tub. Fun times. I like hot tubs because they make people tell the truth. Wine helps too.

Today I woke up at 8:30am in the recliner with my glasses on - I must have fallen asleep and not remembered (hah!) So I climbed into bed (aka, the couch) and slept again until noon when I woke up and thought I had lost my mind. There was some extensive thing on VH-1 about Michael Jackson having a mental disorder which stopped his emotional growth at age 13 or something and that is why he has such a problem. He isn't actually sexually attracted to little boys, he just thinks he is one and wants to play but the problem is that he's a grown man and SOME of his characteristics of being a grown man get confused with the little kid ones and THAT is where the trouble starts happening. I thought I had lost my mind because nobody ever talks anything but trash about Michael Jackson anymore.

I got my computer and everything hooked up (obviously) and now I have to tackle unpacking a lot of dumb little boxes and putting shit away. I hate hate HATE moving.

Looking back on this blog, I wonder if I drink too much or too little.

What a terrible month. Maybe March will be better.