04 July 2006

Descriptive

Warning: Super Descriptive Dream

I went to a party last Saturday night (got real drunk, got in a fight, uh-huh, it ain't no big thing) at my friend RE(D)B's house, where she lived with her husband, in Findlay. There were a lot of people there, including a girl Mary from high school, and a young John Goodman, and ND from work, along with some folks I didn't know. It was a very good time, John Goodman played with the band and their house was huge so it wasn't crowded. I was feeling a little bit irritated because I was on the rag though. Then I met this boy, Clint. He looks like the Mac guy from the Apple Commercials. I guess I had met him before, and vaguely remembered him. He said he was a Whetstone kid, and that was how he knew everyone. I told him that didn't make any sense since no one at the party was a Whetstone kid, but he insisted. I was trying to get some ice cream from the freezer, and he blocked my way. I told him to get the heck out of my area, but he refused, so I just went back down to the family room to watch the movie that was playing. Right when I tried to sit in the chair, he jumped into it and I ended up on his lap. I got out of the chair and knelt in front of it, and tried to reason with him about blocking my ice cream and thieving my chair and so on. He apologized, and out of the corner of my eye I saw ND making blow job faces and laughing. So, I got up and went into the bathroom to get some peace. Right as I was sitting on the toilet, pants down and everything, Clint comes and sits down; again I end up on his lap. I'm like, "Dude you had better move before I stain your jeans" and he says he doesn't care because "a woman's period is a natural thing in life" or something 1970's school video-ish. He steals my stupid pad and looks at it like he had never seen a feminine napkin before. He says something like he thought it would be bloodier or grosser or something and I inform him that it's the last day so the flow is light. He accepts that reasoning, and gives the pad back to me. Then he's looking all over for soap to wash his hands (because it's only polite he says) and can't find any manly soap. Everything in this bathroom is girly, because it's RE(D)B's bathroom. TB's bathroom is on the other side of the room. Clint goes over there to wash his hands. At this point I'm just like wtf mate, and so I sit down on the couch to wait for Clint and accept that he likes me and maybe we can hang. Well, I wait and wait and wait, someone asks me where SL is and I remind them that his mother made him move to New Jersey and I was not invited, and I wait some more. This guy Joe (who likes to show his balls at karaoke in real life) comes up to me and I ask him if he knows where Clint is. He says that Clint left because I told him he was boring. I ask everyone if they have Clint's number, but no one does. So I go home, hoping to see him at the next party or something. I give everyone my number so they can give it to him if they see him out. The next morning I am running a little late for work, but I decide to stop in at this greek donut place anyway. I thought I was only running about 5 minutes behind, but when I look at the clock it says I am 30 mintues late. So I call the office, and instead of answering, KG just sticks me into DE's voicemail. This irritates me, so I decide not to get her a donut. I'm in the shop, and the greek people who work there are so funny looking, like caricatures of greek people instead of actual greek people. It's scary. The girl keeps touching my arm like we're friends. I finally get my donuts and get back to the car, except this creepy guy that has been watching me the whole time is making me nervous and I step in a big pile of sawdust. It gets all up in my shoes and everything, and I have to wipe my shoes off in the snow as I swing myself into the car. Did I mention that it's winter and I live in Massachusettes? Yeah. The last scene is me driving to work, feeling irritated. But I liked my outfit, it was black knee-high boots, long black skirt, dark grey turtle neck, and black scarf. I looked awesome.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

HA! That's hilarious ... a huge, loud, drunken party at our house! Ah well ... nice dream ... weird ...
Are you two still planning on coming up to see us (but really for IHOP) this weekend? If so, you should know that i have to work Friday till 6 and Saturday till 3 ... let me know if you're coming ... hope to see you soon!