13 June 2005

How to learn Italian in three easy steps...

Step One: Find a studly Italian.
Step Two: Get him in bed and have wild sex.
Step Three: Be so good that he yells out passionate things in Italian.

The more you do it, the more Italian you will learn. It's that easy. Last night I learned "bellamissima" and "tiempo" :)
If you're a regular fan of the site, you'll know exactly who my Italian Teacher was!

So, the boyfriend thing... well we aren't actually doing that anymore... plus I had my whole Italian trist last night... I don't know. TR was wonderful to start off with and then once the titles were in place I felt suffocated, like he was cling wrap to me. Now, I don't know what we're going to do. I'm not even sure what I really really want to do. See our wonderful conversation below, this was following the letter I wrote him telling about my evening last night and my wild state of confusion.

TR: so my suspicions and expectations were actually proven right after all. You just said that even though we weren't going to be boyfriend girlfriend, you wanted to only be exclusive to each other. then, you go and take some random dck home. how can i even think of sleeping with you or falling in love knowing this? You said that you didn't feel right and was thinking of me. that alone should have been an indication to toss him out. Kelly asked me to come back to her and I told her no because it wouldn't have been right to you. After all, i fell and was still falling in love with you. But now, I guess I should just say fuck everything. true love isn't out there after all. all women are alike. they only want one thing. a piece of dick. I had the oppurtunity to sleep with her, and told her that
TR: i couldn't betray your trust like that.
Kelly : TR, did you even read anything else
Kelly : And I think it says something that I even told you.
Kelly : I could have lied and not said a word, but I wanted to be completely honest with you
Kelly : I didn't do it for the dick
Kelly : fuck that
Kelly : I want to give it a chance and I wanted to get any of my bullshit out of the way before we got deep into a real serious relationship
Kelly : nothing to say?
Kelly : fine. i tried.
TR: what a joke huh? good one on tim!!!!!!!! i read everything you said. that you slept with him, you thought of me, you woke up thinking it was me. you said you really do care. but i'm trying to grasp how someone could care if they do something like that. you want friends, that's fine, but i'm not going to sleep with you. not for a long time. and that's IF we stay friends and a relationship grows. Ok.. you want a chance to see if we can make it? We'll see how long you want that chance. maybe for a couple days, or even a week. But you will still come out and say there won't be
TR: i fell in love with you and you just shattered me into a thousand pieces
Kelly : oh how could you fall in love with me in three days?!
TR: i know you were just being honest, and i love you dearly for that
Kelly : you haven't even known me for a week
Kelly : there is no way you were in love with me
TR: i DON'T KNOW!!!!!!
Kelly : you even said on saturday night that you werent
Kelly : Fine, you know what, maybe it's not worth it
TR: I just know that all I wantedd to do was make you happy and to do all i could to see that come true
Kelly : If you were so in love with me, you'd appreciate the fact that I was completely honest with you and told you what happened, why it happened, and how I felt about it
Kelly : instead you yell and cry and say there's never a chance. So much for true love.
TR: i didn't say there was no chance.
TR: i said that if you think there's a chance, and i never yelled. i'm hurt. i'm upset. i never yelled. i don't yell
TR: and yes, i'm crying
TR: if we are to have a chance, i need some sort of proof that my love will not just be wasted
Kelly : I don't waste love
Kelly : that's why I put a stop to the steady serious thing because I KNEW that any second you'd be professing your undying love and I was NOT ready to accept it
Kelly : I really liked you really fast and that is how I started out with my husband and that whole thing got compeltely FUCKED - my life was ruined before I tuirned 21!
Kelly : I dont want that to happen again - I'm rebuilding now and I need someone to support me not bring me down
TR: i gotta go clean my shit of the truck now. it'll also give me time to think of what you said. i know you said you think you care for me more than what you thought. I told you that I would not tell you until I was sure, and that you still had to say it first....... I said that I've fallen in love with you enough to know I want to be with you and try to make your dreams come true
Kelly : I think I want you to be that person but I need to make sure that I really REALLY want you to be
TR: I would have never tried to bring you down, or fuck you over. I'm not that asshole
Kelly : I know.
Kelly : But at the same time, i don't know
Kelly : cuz I don't know you
Tim : i know, but i kow me. i konw i would never cheat on you, lie to you, or try to hurt you in any way
Kelly : Well I need to know that.
TR: if you can deal with getting to kow each other all over again without sexual intercourse, i'm willing to do that
Kelly : fine
Kelly : If you can keep your hands off me
TR: just like you, you would've been hurt if i would've slept with kelly
TR: i can't promisse that i won't rub on your back or try to hold your hand
Kelly : well can we still kiss
Kelly : I like kissing you
TR: i'm very sorry.... i'm just really hurt right now. i like kissing you too.
TR: i can hardly type with all the damn tears
TR: luckily i learned the keyboard enough that i dont have to loo k at it
Kelly : aw
TR: i really didn't think it would hurt like this though. i guess i care for you more than even i thought
TR : if i were a turtle, i would crawl back into my shell and hybernate for a million years
Kelly : aw
Kelly : that is not necessary
Kelly : If I didn't care about you I wouldn't have told you the truth
TR: i guess i do love you, i was just not sure myself of why, how much and even if i should. but i have to fight offthese feelings and and try to see if we may be able to get past this and enjoy our lives togerther. if we decide to go that route later. i know you wouldn't have. but to tell the truth, i think i wouldve rather have not heard it. you could have just said. i tried to have fun last night, but kept thinking of you. that woulve been enough.
Kelly : well people saw us leave and knew what we were going to do
Kelly : i didnt want for you to be with us sometime in the future and hear it from someone else
TR: i do have to go for now though.. really.... i have to get the shit out of the truck before aaron gets home. he doesn't know i took mom's truck to get my stuff. and i have to unload it myself. and i have to be careful doing it because i'm out of pills. you're right, that probably wouldve hurt that way a little more. but to know that you were thinking of me feels a little reasuring that you actualy have a concious and care for me more than you let on
TR: i'll talk to you in a bit. if i don't end up going to the er...lol
Kelly : aw
Kelly : be careful

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