Oh man. I can't believe how awesome this week has been. The weather has been perfect, I haven't had any run-ins with anyone I hate, my husband voluntarily drew up the paperwork for a dissolusion, the law says I am in the right regarding that thing I mentioned on Monday, and finally, this will probably be the last time I will ever have to borrow from a payday advance place because...
drumroll please...
SL got a job! Yippy! And it's not even a shitty grocery store or gas station or fast food job. It's a respectable company and the money will be FUCKING GREAT. Oh. Yeah.
I'm so happy. So very happy. My life couldn't get any better, well, once I get divorced for real it can't get any better, unless I suddenly come into a large sum of money or something. But I doubt that will happen, haha.
Yay!
Also I'd like to mention that I am now learning how to use Linux, and this is my very first non-Windows-based post. Hell yeah.
31 March 2006
29 March 2006
Shermie's crying 'cause I punched him in the eye...
I love Wife Swap and Super Nanny. Oh, I really, really do. I don't know who came up with the ideas for these shows, or whether Trading Spouses and Nanny 911 came first, but I love all four. I just especially love the ABC lineup. I haven't really watched ABC in a long time, mostly because from 1994 - 2005 their programs sucked. An 11 year slump is not easy to bounce back from, but I tell you what, they have my eyes now! I love those shows, plus there's the Ty Pennington show, about building houses! Yeah Ty! Haha.
Anyway. I don't really have anything to talk about since life has been fairly boring lately. I'm definitely not complaning though! It's better than living like hill-billys with a ton of drama around. SL and I are just living day to day, getting used to each other and all that. It's going well, we've barely fought, and the only thing that bugs me is it reminds me of my marriage when I get up and go to work and he's still sleeping. The two interviews he had last week are supposed to get back with him this week, so I'm not pissed that he doesn't have a job, it's just a little irritating. In fact, today he's going to go to the one place and check on his status. I really hope he gets that one because it's so close and the pay will be awesome.
What else... hmmm... I guess that's about it. My little excursion on Monday evening went well, and they affirmed that I am in the right, so that was awesome. Now, everything will be great.
Anyway. I don't really have anything to talk about since life has been fairly boring lately. I'm definitely not complaning though! It's better than living like hill-billys with a ton of drama around. SL and I are just living day to day, getting used to each other and all that. It's going well, we've barely fought, and the only thing that bugs me is it reminds me of my marriage when I get up and go to work and he's still sleeping. The two interviews he had last week are supposed to get back with him this week, so I'm not pissed that he doesn't have a job, it's just a little irritating. In fact, today he's going to go to the one place and check on his status. I really hope he gets that one because it's so close and the pay will be awesome.
What else... hmmm... I guess that's about it. My little excursion on Monday evening went well, and they affirmed that I am in the right, so that was awesome. Now, everything will be great.
27 March 2006
Little Sister Don't Miss When She Aims Her Gun.
(A line from my favorite song, "The Night the Lights Went out in Georgia" by Vicky Lawrence.)
So, the past week has been interesting. Last Wednesday, SL moved here. I'm so happy he's finally with me. The long distance thing wasn't very difficult at all, but it was kind of expensive. As of April 8th, SL and I will have been together (officially) for five months. Go me! That's my longest relationship I've had since I left MMA. Some of the other ones could have been longer, but with those guys I figured that if I couldn't see a future with them, what is the point of keeping it going? There is none.
I had a very boring weekend. SL mostly worked on the computers, fixing them up, putting in more RAM and combining hard drives and stuff while I cleaned or watched TV or whatever. Saturday I had a very special visit from one of Columbus's finest, and he made me feel better about a certain situation that I am dealing with. He advised that I go downtown to take care of my business as soon as possible, so I will be doing that tonight after work. I'm not going to elaborate on anything until it's all over, so you will all just have to wait and see what the outcome is! I'm sure I will be found in the right, so I'm not worried about it.
Yesterday SL and I went to my parents' house for dinner, my mom made lasagna, and it was great. We hung out with SK and watched some TV and it was just nice and relaxing. My dad gave us a new CD-rom drive and a new hard drive too. SL was so ecstatic about that! My dad is cool. We went home around ten pm, and then Cat called for me to come to karaoke. I didn't really feel like it, but we went anyway and ended up having the time of our lives. It was so much fun. TomCat, Mr. Happy, Crash, The Sir, and D*Martin were there, along with a bunch of other cool people that I haven't seen in a long time. D*Martin is still learning how to run the machines, so he can take over some of Cat's shows, so I didn't get to talk to him too much. SL and I were trying to help him get this beaver looking girl away from him, but that proved unsuccessful... poor D*Martin. Oh! Doc was there too. I always love seeing Doc. The only shitty thing was that bitch Holly from back in the day was trashed and hanging all over him. That was nasty. Oh well, can't keep nastiness from penetrating my world I suppose. I just have to deal with it!
But I digress... I told C the bartender and Smiley J about SL's actual age, and they weren't pissed at all. I was glad for that, because I didn't want them to think that I was trying to pull the wool over their eyes or anything. C said I rocked cuz I have a young boyfriend! I laughed. Man, I can't believe what a great time I had at karaoke last night.
On a different note, which I suppose kind of correlates to my great time at karaoke, I've been in such an awesome mood ever since I put my mind to it. I guess GMc's little idea really works! I know SL is happy that I'm in a better mood. We only had one little fight this weekend, and it was totally the most retarded thing ever, so it was no big deal. Other than that, I've been in an awesome mood and quite happy. In fact, I only cried a few times this weekend, once over something that was very very upsetting and a few times over this thing about police dogs, and once over "Inked" when this dude got his dead fiancee's portrait tatooed on his arm. Yeah. I'm kinda girly sometimes, and when I am, I'm extreme.
Speaking of girly, my shrink said that I'm nuts for thinking I look like a lesbian. Not literally of course, I think it would be wrong for a psychologist to tell his patient they are "nuts", haha! But he's cool; He loved my pink phone. And I've told him about all the crap that has happened to me lately, and he told me that I have made the right choices, I've done the appropriate thing, and it was very smart of me to document everything that has happened. He said that I am right on a few things, such as SL and his lies stemming from when his parents got divorced when he was ten years old (that's when most of the stories start) and about how people who need to make drama really are miserable. Apparently there is some sort of complex... almost like a Napolean thing where they buy big stuff and own a lot of things so they look important to try and counteract their lack of self-esteem, only these kind of people try to make everyone else look shitty and they treat people terribly to make themselves feel better, when in fact they are really miserable. Maybe I should go to college and become a shrink. Damn... would I be rich and even smarter than I already am!
In conclusion, I'd like to apologize in advance to my friends that see me / talk to me on a daily basis, because I'm probably going to be quite egotistical in the next few weeks or even months. However, it's all part of my plan: I have to tell myself that I'm fucking awesome over and over and over so that I will finally truly believe it. I think I'm pretty swell right now, but there's always that nagging in the back of my head saying, "Well... are you really...?" and I need to shut that nag up! So, anyway, that's all. I rule.
Late.
So, the past week has been interesting. Last Wednesday, SL moved here. I'm so happy he's finally with me. The long distance thing wasn't very difficult at all, but it was kind of expensive. As of April 8th, SL and I will have been together (officially) for five months. Go me! That's my longest relationship I've had since I left MMA. Some of the other ones could have been longer, but with those guys I figured that if I couldn't see a future with them, what is the point of keeping it going? There is none.
I had a very boring weekend. SL mostly worked on the computers, fixing them up, putting in more RAM and combining hard drives and stuff while I cleaned or watched TV or whatever. Saturday I had a very special visit from one of Columbus's finest, and he made me feel better about a certain situation that I am dealing with. He advised that I go downtown to take care of my business as soon as possible, so I will be doing that tonight after work. I'm not going to elaborate on anything until it's all over, so you will all just have to wait and see what the outcome is! I'm sure I will be found in the right, so I'm not worried about it.
Yesterday SL and I went to my parents' house for dinner, my mom made lasagna, and it was great. We hung out with SK and watched some TV and it was just nice and relaxing. My dad gave us a new CD-rom drive and a new hard drive too. SL was so ecstatic about that! My dad is cool. We went home around ten pm, and then Cat called for me to come to karaoke. I didn't really feel like it, but we went anyway and ended up having the time of our lives. It was so much fun. TomCat, Mr. Happy, Crash, The Sir, and D*Martin were there, along with a bunch of other cool people that I haven't seen in a long time. D*Martin is still learning how to run the machines, so he can take over some of Cat's shows, so I didn't get to talk to him too much. SL and I were trying to help him get this beaver looking girl away from him, but that proved unsuccessful... poor D*Martin. Oh! Doc was there too. I always love seeing Doc. The only shitty thing was that bitch Holly from back in the day was trashed and hanging all over him. That was nasty. Oh well, can't keep nastiness from penetrating my world I suppose. I just have to deal with it!
But I digress... I told C the bartender and Smiley J about SL's actual age, and they weren't pissed at all. I was glad for that, because I didn't want them to think that I was trying to pull the wool over their eyes or anything. C said I rocked cuz I have a young boyfriend! I laughed. Man, I can't believe what a great time I had at karaoke last night.
On a different note, which I suppose kind of correlates to my great time at karaoke, I've been in such an awesome mood ever since I put my mind to it. I guess GMc's little idea really works! I know SL is happy that I'm in a better mood. We only had one little fight this weekend, and it was totally the most retarded thing ever, so it was no big deal. Other than that, I've been in an awesome mood and quite happy. In fact, I only cried a few times this weekend, once over something that was very very upsetting and a few times over this thing about police dogs, and once over "Inked" when this dude got his dead fiancee's portrait tatooed on his arm. Yeah. I'm kinda girly sometimes, and when I am, I'm extreme.
Speaking of girly, my shrink said that I'm nuts for thinking I look like a lesbian. Not literally of course, I think it would be wrong for a psychologist to tell his patient they are "nuts", haha! But he's cool; He loved my pink phone. And I've told him about all the crap that has happened to me lately, and he told me that I have made the right choices, I've done the appropriate thing, and it was very smart of me to document everything that has happened. He said that I am right on a few things, such as SL and his lies stemming from when his parents got divorced when he was ten years old (that's when most of the stories start) and about how people who need to make drama really are miserable. Apparently there is some sort of complex... almost like a Napolean thing where they buy big stuff and own a lot of things so they look important to try and counteract their lack of self-esteem, only these kind of people try to make everyone else look shitty and they treat people terribly to make themselves feel better, when in fact they are really miserable. Maybe I should go to college and become a shrink. Damn... would I be rich and even smarter than I already am!
In conclusion, I'd like to apologize in advance to my friends that see me / talk to me on a daily basis, because I'm probably going to be quite egotistical in the next few weeks or even months. However, it's all part of my plan: I have to tell myself that I'm fucking awesome over and over and over so that I will finally truly believe it. I think I'm pretty swell right now, but there's always that nagging in the back of my head saying, "Well... are you really...?" and I need to shut that nag up! So, anyway, that's all. I rule.
Late.
21 March 2006
Even the Chinese say "Fuck You"
^ So, that's my audio post. ^
I was so incredibly happy to get that fortune, I actually shed a tear. It just goes to show that when you start making changes, it affects everything. Seriously. I'm ready to move on, leave all this negativity and extra weight behind (both literally and figuratively) and be truly happy.
Maybe that cunt was right. Maybe I'm putting on a display to trick people into thinking I'm happy. But that's a good thing because I'll trick myself into being happy too. Why did I become this kind of person who is so negative about herself, who can't even think of good things about her person without really having to try? Because my whole life I was told the negative - by my parents ("You can be smarter, thinner, more outgoing, etc."), by my "friends" ("If you looked like this/did this/etc. you'd be in the cool crowd."), even by my husband ("I don't know if we'll be able to have sex, I've never been with a girl as big as you." which was funny because I was a lot smaller back then.) All I've ever had was negative influences! So now, I need to tell myself the positive things. I didn't believe all those negative lies in the beginning, but when they are told to you over and over and over, it starts to seem like the truth. That's the trick - tell myself every day that those people don't matter one bit, and focus on the good things about me, which far outweigh the bad. God didn't make us perfect, he made us with good and bad.
Life is simple, but not easy. Thanks GMc.
20 March 2006
This actually has nothing to do with my mom.
Mother Mother
(Tracy Bonham)Mother mother can you hear me I'm just calling to say hello
How's the weather how's my father am I lonely heavens no
Mother mother are listening just a phone call to ease your mind
Life is perfect never better distance making the heart grow blind
When you sent me off to see the world where you scared that I might get hurt
Would I try a little tobacco would I keep on hiking up my skirt
I'm hungry
I'm dirty
I'm losing my mind
Everything's fine
I'm freezing
I'm starving
I'm bleeding death
Everything's fine
Yeah, I'm working, making money I'm just starting to build a name
I can feel it around the corner I could make it any day
Mother mother can you hear me yeah I'm sober sure I'm sane
Life is perfect never better still your daughter still the same
If I tell you what you want to hear will it help you to sleep wellat night
Are you sure that I'm your perfect dear now just cuddle up and sleep tight
I'm hungry
I'm dirty
I'm losing my mind
Everything's fine
I'm freezing
I'm starving
I'm bleeding to death
Everything's fine
I miss you
I love you.
(Feeling just a little stressed today. Can you tell?)
A big Fuck You to all the losers.
To all the losers who have contributed to any negative thought I've ever had about myself and made me feel like their lies could be true, I would like to say:
But most importantly,
I am right.
- I am intelligent.
- I am clever.
- I am kind.
- I am generous.
- I am witty.
- I am beautiful.
- I am healthy.
- I am hard working.
- I am a good friend.
- I am successful.
- I am a great singer.
- I am a wonderful artist.
- I am loyal.
- I am creative.
- I am passionate.
- I am a terrific lover.
But most importantly,
I am right.
18 March 2006
I'm Lovin' It!
I love my life. Last night I went to Zuey's with KP and we drank green beer, which turned our mouths green. GG was there but she didn't drink any green beer because she doesn't like beer period. We had so much fun, it was just swell. CL was there and he was wasted, and kept trying to hit on KP but she wasn't having a part of it. This really drunk asshole kept trying to pet Wendell and it pissed me off so much because he was being a cock. I couldn't believe I had to fucking fight with a drunk to keep him from petting a seeing eye dog. Ridiculous.
Oh well, today I am going to do nothing and then work on my novel. Yeah babe.
Oh well, today I am going to do nothing and then work on my novel. Yeah babe.
17 March 2006
Bishop declares, "Meat and Beer: Okay!"
This week has been so frickin' long. Oh man.
Tuesday I went to Zuey's and watched American Idol. It was a pretty fun evening. I went to Brewstir's in Clintonville after that, for Cat's show. Met up with NB, and we had a great time. He didn't really try too hard to put the moves on me, so that was cool. I hadn't seen him since September I think, and we had a lot of catching up to do. He made me happy because somehow we got talking about something, I have no clue, and I was like, "Yeah, I wish I was more girly." He laughed and said I was very girly. I said, "No way! I wear these lesbian boots and polo shirts and Birkenstock sandals!" He said I was very very girly and something like it didn't matter if I tried to dress up like a man, I would still be girly. That made me so happy. I guess SL is right, along with ND from work, I am girly. I just need to feel more girly, but it's starting to happen, haha.
Wednesday I did nothing. Literally. I was worn out from Tuesday!
Last night I went to a company function at MIT. That was great fun, getting to meet everyone that I always talk to on the phone. They really had the hookup, with little butler people walking around and a bartender fellow and a huge spread of food like cheese, vegetables, salmon, crackers, chocolate strawberries, little teeny deserts, etc. They even had a carving station to make sandwiches and stuff! It was awesome. I had about four glasses of wine, but that was cool because 1) it was free and 2) I love wine and it does not get me instantly trashed! I ran into this guy I worked with at a couple different jobs, and a guy I worked at Jericho with. I met some chick that works with my old manager from Jericho. She told me how she hates him and I told her how I hated him and then she was like, "Oh my god, you're Kelly! I've heard stories about you! Isn't your husband MMA?!" Which pissed me off when I learned that in the last three years, this guy has been telling his version of these things that actually happened, but not the way he says they do.
For instance, right after I quit there I was hospitalized. I got all these calls from concerned people, because this guy had told everyone that MMA beat me so much that I landed in the ICU. Riiiiight. It was not even close to the reason why I was in there, and MMA never beat me. In fact, every time MMA had ever tried to lay a hand on me I usually ended up being the winner in that situation. This old manager guy is just a fucking loser. He told me all these lies while I worked there, and he was just a regular asshole. When my mother-in-law died twice during surgery but finally made it through, MMA and I had to stay with her little girl so my step-father-in-law could be at the hospital. We took about a week off work, cleared with the owners/our bosses, and everything was fine and they were very understanding. Well one day during this time off, I get a call from Mr. Manager. He tells me that my family is not important, this little 5 year old with a mother who is practically on life support is not important, and I need to come back to work and take care of my duties there. I tell you, he is just a regular asshole. Not to mention he's about 400 lbs., over six feet tall, and the biggest fucking flamer you could imagine. He used to have little twinks come for "interviews" in his office and we all knew he was really getting blow jobs and god knows what else from them. Ick.
But, I have gotten away from my point!
This girl was totally wasted, oh my god. And she was dressed like a prostitute, seriously, her skirt was so short that when she walked she had to keep tugging it down so no one would see her crack and cooch. We headed over to the Dub Pub, why, I don't know. She was like, "Let me buy you a shot!" so I said that would be swell. We talked about the asshole some more, and then she got this bright idea to give me a spontaneous makeover. Well the wine was starting to set in and the shot we did was also, so I said what the heck. We went to the bathroom and she attacked me with her makeup case. The end result was pretty awesome, except for she colored in my eyebrows... I looked cool until that happened, and then I looked like an old hooker. OH my god. When she wasn't looking I tried to rub some of it off, and it worked a little bit so at least I didn't look like a old hooker anymore. Now I just looked fake. The guys at the bar that she was trying to hook us up with said it looked fine, but I just couldn't believe them. She bought me another shot and we left because she had to go up to Sawmill to get her friend or something. I worried about her driving because she was really so so so drunk, but she told me that one DUI doesn't matter when you've already got one. Whatever.
I headed over to Eldo's, and on the way I just felt drunker. It was shitty. When I got there I drank a ton of water while I talked to TD and MN (formerly mentioned as Mrm.) I sang alright, but I was starting to be un-drunkish a little so I didn't sing as well as I could have. That sucked because I really wanted to impress my friends. Damn wine! I hate when I'm "coming down" from be drunk, it makes me feel crappy. Anyway, we had a great time. Poke came in and he was literally all over me. I kept telling him that nothing could happen because I've got a boyfriend, etc. etc. etc., but he would not give up. He kept asking for a kiss so I finally I kissed him. I told SL about it this morning and he said that was okay, because after that Poke pretty much let me alone. He hates Poke anyway so I guess that's just another reason to keep hating him! Anyway, Wolfy was there, so was TomCat, Moose, and B the BDI. B's girlfriend came over to me at one point and told me that they didn't hate me or weren't angry with me or anything, because of what happened with SS/Jms, and that was cool. She said that B really had nothing to do with the situation, and since he and I have been friends longer than I have even known SS/Jms, it was alright. He smiled at me and waved hi, so that was cool, but I didn't really get to talk to him. Overall, a good evening.
Today is St. Patrick's Day, yippy. Green beer, woo-hoo! The Bishop has declared that Catholics can eat meat today, even though it's not allowed normally during Lent to eat meat on Fridays. The only catch is that the meat that is being eaten must be celebratory meat, ie, a St. Patrick's Day CornBeef and Sauerkraut meal or something. Can't just eat meat when you want. Also, you do not have to adhere to the rule of fasting, ie, whatever you gave up. So today, I am allowed to drink beer. Yay! I probably won't eat any meat though. As I sit and think about the Irish, it brings to mind another set of Alcoholics - the Native Americans.
Okay, I'll admit that was a terrible seagueway to a new paragraph, but whatever. I had to bring up this bitch in some way! Even though I've moved on with my life, it's apparent that some people haven't. I got an Instant Message from SS this morning, and it was as follows:
Time to go eat mac'n'cheese. Late.
Tuesday I went to Zuey's and watched American Idol. It was a pretty fun evening. I went to Brewstir's in Clintonville after that, for Cat's show. Met up with NB, and we had a great time. He didn't really try too hard to put the moves on me, so that was cool. I hadn't seen him since September I think, and we had a lot of catching up to do. He made me happy because somehow we got talking about something, I have no clue, and I was like, "Yeah, I wish I was more girly." He laughed and said I was very girly. I said, "No way! I wear these lesbian boots and polo shirts and Birkenstock sandals!" He said I was very very girly and something like it didn't matter if I tried to dress up like a man, I would still be girly. That made me so happy. I guess SL is right, along with ND from work, I am girly. I just need to feel more girly, but it's starting to happen, haha.
Wednesday I did nothing. Literally. I was worn out from Tuesday!
Last night I went to a company function at MIT. That was great fun, getting to meet everyone that I always talk to on the phone. They really had the hookup, with little butler people walking around and a bartender fellow and a huge spread of food like cheese, vegetables, salmon, crackers, chocolate strawberries, little teeny deserts, etc. They even had a carving station to make sandwiches and stuff! It was awesome. I had about four glasses of wine, but that was cool because 1) it was free and 2) I love wine and it does not get me instantly trashed! I ran into this guy I worked with at a couple different jobs, and a guy I worked at Jericho with. I met some chick that works with my old manager from Jericho. She told me how she hates him and I told her how I hated him and then she was like, "Oh my god, you're Kelly! I've heard stories about you! Isn't your husband MMA?!" Which pissed me off when I learned that in the last three years, this guy has been telling his version of these things that actually happened, but not the way he says they do.
For instance, right after I quit there I was hospitalized. I got all these calls from concerned people, because this guy had told everyone that MMA beat me so much that I landed in the ICU. Riiiiight. It was not even close to the reason why I was in there, and MMA never beat me. In fact, every time MMA had ever tried to lay a hand on me I usually ended up being the winner in that situation. This old manager guy is just a fucking loser. He told me all these lies while I worked there, and he was just a regular asshole. When my mother-in-law died twice during surgery but finally made it through, MMA and I had to stay with her little girl so my step-father-in-law could be at the hospital. We took about a week off work, cleared with the owners/our bosses, and everything was fine and they were very understanding. Well one day during this time off, I get a call from Mr. Manager. He tells me that my family is not important, this little 5 year old with a mother who is practically on life support is not important, and I need to come back to work and take care of my duties there. I tell you, he is just a regular asshole. Not to mention he's about 400 lbs., over six feet tall, and the biggest fucking flamer you could imagine. He used to have little twinks come for "interviews" in his office and we all knew he was really getting blow jobs and god knows what else from them. Ick.
But, I have gotten away from my point!
This girl was totally wasted, oh my god. And she was dressed like a prostitute, seriously, her skirt was so short that when she walked she had to keep tugging it down so no one would see her crack and cooch. We headed over to the Dub Pub, why, I don't know. She was like, "Let me buy you a shot!" so I said that would be swell. We talked about the asshole some more, and then she got this bright idea to give me a spontaneous makeover. Well the wine was starting to set in and the shot we did was also, so I said what the heck. We went to the bathroom and she attacked me with her makeup case. The end result was pretty awesome, except for she colored in my eyebrows... I looked cool until that happened, and then I looked like an old hooker. OH my god. When she wasn't looking I tried to rub some of it off, and it worked a little bit so at least I didn't look like a old hooker anymore. Now I just looked fake. The guys at the bar that she was trying to hook us up with said it looked fine, but I just couldn't believe them. She bought me another shot and we left because she had to go up to Sawmill to get her friend or something. I worried about her driving because she was really so so so drunk, but she told me that one DUI doesn't matter when you've already got one. Whatever.
I headed over to Eldo's, and on the way I just felt drunker. It was shitty. When I got there I drank a ton of water while I talked to TD and MN (formerly mentioned as Mrm.) I sang alright, but I was starting to be un-drunkish a little so I didn't sing as well as I could have. That sucked because I really wanted to impress my friends. Damn wine! I hate when I'm "coming down" from be drunk, it makes me feel crappy. Anyway, we had a great time. Poke came in and he was literally all over me. I kept telling him that nothing could happen because I've got a boyfriend, etc. etc. etc., but he would not give up. He kept asking for a kiss so I finally I kissed him. I told SL about it this morning and he said that was okay, because after that Poke pretty much let me alone. He hates Poke anyway so I guess that's just another reason to keep hating him! Anyway, Wolfy was there, so was TomCat, Moose, and B the BDI. B's girlfriend came over to me at one point and told me that they didn't hate me or weren't angry with me or anything, because of what happened with SS/Jms, and that was cool. She said that B really had nothing to do with the situation, and since he and I have been friends longer than I have even known SS/Jms, it was alright. He smiled at me and waved hi, so that was cool, but I didn't really get to talk to him. Overall, a good evening.
Today is St. Patrick's Day, yippy. Green beer, woo-hoo! The Bishop has declared that Catholics can eat meat today, even though it's not allowed normally during Lent to eat meat on Fridays. The only catch is that the meat that is being eaten must be celebratory meat, ie, a St. Patrick's Day CornBeef and Sauerkraut meal or something. Can't just eat meat when you want. Also, you do not have to adhere to the rule of fasting, ie, whatever you gave up. So today, I am allowed to drink beer. Yay! I probably won't eat any meat though. As I sit and think about the Irish, it brings to mind another set of Alcoholics - the Native Americans.
Okay, I'll admit that was a terrible seagueway to a new paragraph, but whatever. I had to bring up this bitch in some way! Even though I've moved on with my life, it's apparent that some people haven't. I got an Instant Message from SS this morning, and it was as follows:
mamaturtle2000 (3/17/2006 10:01:14 AM): You were lookin a little loser-ish last night, and as usual, I'm at home with my family and you're out getting drunk. How truly, truly sad
Time to go eat mac'n'cheese. Late.
15 March 2006
14 March 2006
Ah Yes, We are Thick as Thieves
Well...
What a week. Even though it's only Tuesday.
The sad news is GMc might move back to Canada. The good news is that I would now have someone to visit in Canada. The better news is that if he does in fact decide to go to Canada, there is a 95% chance that I can buy his house. The bad news is that my monthly housing payment would go from $557.00 to $958.00-ish, plus taxes and insurance escrowed (about $50 and $217) at a grand total of about $1,225.00. It's $667.00 more, but with SL living here it would be no problem. Also we could put all the utilities in his name to get a fresh start, without having to carry over the $739 gas bill (I just rec'd yesterday) or others. We wouldn't have to have Insight Cable, we could pick WOW! which is much better and way cheaper, for both cable and internet... (haha I just sounded like a commercial!) Overall, buying the house would not only be a good investment, but it would be the chance of a lifetime. It's not too far from work, I think it's like eight miles (considering I live exactly 2.0 miles from work now...) But it seems like a good idea, even though my monthly payment would be doubling. I already know I qualify, I've been pre-approved, so now we just have to make sure all the numbers are in order and GMc is down with it. Yay! And it's cool, because I already know what the house is like inside, GMc is having some worked-owed to him done by J2 and Cool R., such as some exterior work and a paint job inside, and I think Cool R. might be putting in some carpet or something. The only things that would probably need fixed would be whatever was found in the inspection. Of course I would need to clean from top to bottom, not because GMc is a dirty person (hardly!) but because I'm all anal about living in someone else's space. Yeah... It's an awful lot to think about, but I'm ready. Plus I have a home buyer's clause in my apartment lease which saves me from any monetary penalties upon breaking my lease to buy a house. The only thing is that I don't get my security deposit back, but that's fine because due to the kittens and their shenanigans I probably wouldn't get it back anyway!
I thought it would be a long time until I bought another house, but it looks like my luck is changing. That rocks.
So tonight I am meeting up with NB for the first time since about September. I have to pick him up because his car got destroyed by a drunk driver back in December, but that's alright, I don't mind. I just hope he doesn't try to put the moves on, haha. He's been awfully respectful of my relationship with SL, and I'm really hoping that we can have a real adult friendship. Not that he's the most important person in the world to me, of course, but we have a lot in common, we get along great, etc. The only reasons we really didn't date was because he had a child in Texas (well, since then the kid has moved here), his divorce wasn't final yet, and he works the graveyard shift and didn't feel he had time for a girlfriend. The fact that I had "dated" his brother and that was a big mess probably didn't help either! SB never had anything to do with NB and me though, so I don't think that was a huge factor. Anyway.
Last night I fell asleep around 23:00 I think... or it may have been closer to 22:30... Not sure. All I know is that I was fucking exhausted because I had been up until almost 06:00 Monday morning, on the phone with SL. We were fighting about stupid shit, because I'm too pesimistic and I think too much about MMA, and I feel that he always has to be so proud and know-it-all-ish. We just kept talking and talking and talking, and I'm pretty sure we got things resolved, for the most part. I think a lot of the reason why we fight so much is that I am miserable, and I'm sure that once I have this divorce through with I will feel much better. MMA is just a black spot on my life, and unfortunately until I get the divorce, that black spot is a black cloud hanging over. But I digress.
I fell asleep early, and I must have been into the deep REM because when my phone rang at 12:22, I was so confused. I kept staring at it, and finally pressed the talk button thinking that the phone was trying to talk to me and that's why it was crying (yeah... me and phones, when I'm sleeping, are not cool.) So I pressed the button, and listened, and I hear, "Hello?" and I say, "Who is this? Hello?" At this point I'm so scared that my phone-child is talking back to me, and I'm about to hang up when I hear, "Hello? Kel? It's I**." Which was the point when I woke up, and realised that I was talking to Poke. He had used his real name and it was strange because I always call him I** in real life, but not on here, and he always calls himself Poke. Strange. He wanted me to come to karaoke at Brewstir's on Sunbury, but I was sleeping so I said no, plus I told him how broke I still am until tomorrow when I get paid. We talked about things, generic things, and he asked if I was still not drinking beer, and I said yes except for on Sundays because you're allowed to do whatever you gave up on Sundays, and he said he would like to see me soon because it has been a long time. I said that would be swell and we would get together Thursday. Then I hung up the phone and immediately fell asleep.
I was told once that all my friends have either fucked me or want to fuck me, and that kinda irritated me a little bit. But when I realised that it isn't true, I was not irritated anymore. Then I thought about it - maybe I do hang out with a lot of guys that I have hooked up with, but I've only had about six one-night stands out of the fifty guys I've slept with. All the rest have either been my boyfriend, my "fuck-buddy", or my husband. And of the six one-night stands, only two of those guys have I never seen again. The other three went like this: either we decided that it wasn't a good idea, and once was enough, or we just never found ourselves in that position again (no pun intended), or there just wasn't chemistry. The last one was DS, and he can go stick something up his ass because even after banging him, I still think he's gay. But my point of all this is such - Of all the friends I have, they are all truly my friends, whether or not I slept with them in the past. That's all. Of all the friends that I have lost over the years, to their lack of loyalty, to their petty ways, to whatever... there was only one of them that is on The List, and that's TM. And that friendship wasn't like a normal friendship. My friends are good friends, and they are there for me when I need them.
I just realised I'm going on a tangent and I need a cigarette so I'm done for now.
Now, a great song by Jason Mraz. I love that guy.
What a week. Even though it's only Tuesday.
The sad news is GMc might move back to Canada. The good news is that I would now have someone to visit in Canada. The better news is that if he does in fact decide to go to Canada, there is a 95% chance that I can buy his house. The bad news is that my monthly housing payment would go from $557.00 to $958.00-ish, plus taxes and insurance escrowed (about $50 and $217) at a grand total of about $1,225.00. It's $667.00 more, but with SL living here it would be no problem. Also we could put all the utilities in his name to get a fresh start, without having to carry over the $739 gas bill (I just rec'd yesterday) or others. We wouldn't have to have Insight Cable, we could pick WOW! which is much better and way cheaper, for both cable and internet... (haha I just sounded like a commercial!) Overall, buying the house would not only be a good investment, but it would be the chance of a lifetime. It's not too far from work, I think it's like eight miles (considering I live exactly 2.0 miles from work now...) But it seems like a good idea, even though my monthly payment would be doubling. I already know I qualify, I've been pre-approved, so now we just have to make sure all the numbers are in order and GMc is down with it. Yay! And it's cool, because I already know what the house is like inside, GMc is having some worked-owed to him done by J2 and Cool R., such as some exterior work and a paint job inside, and I think Cool R. might be putting in some carpet or something. The only things that would probably need fixed would be whatever was found in the inspection. Of course I would need to clean from top to bottom, not because GMc is a dirty person (hardly!) but because I'm all anal about living in someone else's space. Yeah... It's an awful lot to think about, but I'm ready. Plus I have a home buyer's clause in my apartment lease which saves me from any monetary penalties upon breaking my lease to buy a house. The only thing is that I don't get my security deposit back, but that's fine because due to the kittens and their shenanigans I probably wouldn't get it back anyway!
I thought it would be a long time until I bought another house, but it looks like my luck is changing. That rocks.
So tonight I am meeting up with NB for the first time since about September. I have to pick him up because his car got destroyed by a drunk driver back in December, but that's alright, I don't mind. I just hope he doesn't try to put the moves on, haha. He's been awfully respectful of my relationship with SL, and I'm really hoping that we can have a real adult friendship. Not that he's the most important person in the world to me, of course, but we have a lot in common, we get along great, etc. The only reasons we really didn't date was because he had a child in Texas (well, since then the kid has moved here), his divorce wasn't final yet, and he works the graveyard shift and didn't feel he had time for a girlfriend. The fact that I had "dated" his brother and that was a big mess probably didn't help either! SB never had anything to do with NB and me though, so I don't think that was a huge factor. Anyway.
Last night I fell asleep around 23:00 I think... or it may have been closer to 22:30... Not sure. All I know is that I was fucking exhausted because I had been up until almost 06:00 Monday morning, on the phone with SL. We were fighting about stupid shit, because I'm too pesimistic and I think too much about MMA, and I feel that he always has to be so proud and know-it-all-ish. We just kept talking and talking and talking, and I'm pretty sure we got things resolved, for the most part. I think a lot of the reason why we fight so much is that I am miserable, and I'm sure that once I have this divorce through with I will feel much better. MMA is just a black spot on my life, and unfortunately until I get the divorce, that black spot is a black cloud hanging over. But I digress.
I fell asleep early, and I must have been into the deep REM because when my phone rang at 12:22, I was so confused. I kept staring at it, and finally pressed the talk button thinking that the phone was trying to talk to me and that's why it was crying (yeah... me and phones, when I'm sleeping, are not cool.) So I pressed the button, and listened, and I hear, "Hello?" and I say, "Who is this? Hello?" At this point I'm so scared that my phone-child is talking back to me, and I'm about to hang up when I hear, "Hello? Kel? It's I**." Which was the point when I woke up, and realised that I was talking to Poke. He had used his real name and it was strange because I always call him I** in real life, but not on here, and he always calls himself Poke. Strange. He wanted me to come to karaoke at Brewstir's on Sunbury, but I was sleeping so I said no, plus I told him how broke I still am until tomorrow when I get paid. We talked about things, generic things, and he asked if I was still not drinking beer, and I said yes except for on Sundays because you're allowed to do whatever you gave up on Sundays, and he said he would like to see me soon because it has been a long time. I said that would be swell and we would get together Thursday. Then I hung up the phone and immediately fell asleep.
I was told once that all my friends have either fucked me or want to fuck me, and that kinda irritated me a little bit. But when I realised that it isn't true, I was not irritated anymore. Then I thought about it - maybe I do hang out with a lot of guys that I have hooked up with, but I've only had about six one-night stands out of the fifty guys I've slept with. All the rest have either been my boyfriend, my "fuck-buddy", or my husband. And of the six one-night stands, only two of those guys have I never seen again. The other three went like this: either we decided that it wasn't a good idea, and once was enough, or we just never found ourselves in that position again (no pun intended), or there just wasn't chemistry. The last one was DS, and he can go stick something up his ass because even after banging him, I still think he's gay. But my point of all this is such - Of all the friends I have, they are all truly my friends, whether or not I slept with them in the past. That's all. Of all the friends that I have lost over the years, to their lack of loyalty, to their petty ways, to whatever... there was only one of them that is on The List, and that's TM. And that friendship wasn't like a normal friendship. My friends are good friends, and they are there for me when I need them.
I just realised I'm going on a tangent and I need a cigarette so I'm done for now.
Now, a great song by Jason Mraz. I love that guy.
"The Boy is Gone"
The boy's gone. The boy's gone home.
What will happen to a face in the crowd
when it finally gets too crowded.
And will happen to the origins of sound
after all the sounds have sounded
Well I hope I never have to see that day
but by god I know it's headed our way
So I better be happy
now that the boy's going home.
The boy's gone home.
And what becomes of a day for those
who rage against it
And who will sum op the phrase for all
left standing around in it
Well I suppose we'll all make
our judgement call
We'll walk it alone, stand up tall,
then march to the fall
So we better be happy now
that we'll all go home.
Be so happy with the way you are
Be so happy that you made it this far
Go on be happy now. Please be happy now
Because this is something else
this is something else
I tried to live my life and live it so well
But when it's all over is it heaven
or is it hell
I better be happy now that no one can tell,
nobody knows
I'm gonna be happy with the way that I am
I'm gonna be happy with all that I stand for
I'm gonna be happy now because the boy's going home.
The boy's gone home.
12 March 2006
Another One... again.
Weird Dream # 493... I'd imagine.
I dreamt that I was on some sort of field trip, possibly a class reunion, with kids that I went to K-8 with. At one point we stopped at a gas station, and I had to pee. Some little girls had to also, so I volunteered to take them with me. Turned out that the bathroom was a shitty one-person, so I had to wait for the little girls to go then I told them to wait while I went. They were waiting just fine and I was almost done, when someone tried to open the door. The door wasn't very secure, and in fact I was holding it closed, and yelled, "Someone's in here!" The person on the other side kept trying to open the door, and I was almost being pulled off the toilet trying to keep it closed. Finally they got the better of me, and it swung open while I was still sitting there trying to pee. RB from work and this guy I went to high school with, TJG, were standing there laughing. I was like, "What the fuck guys, didn't you hear me yell someone was in here?" They said no, they had seen someone walk away from the door and it was open so they thought it was unoccupied. I thought that was a load of shit, and I said so. They just kept laughing, I finished peeing, and by this time the little girls had ran back to the bus so I just pulled up my jeans and walked out. I wanted to find some anti-bacterial hand lotion to buy, since I hadn't washed my hands, and when I walked into the gas station store, everyone I saw was laughing at me or talking about me, how I had let the door be open when I was peeing. It got to be so ridiculous that I literally punched some girls in their faces. Several times. Then people were pissed off at me for being pissed off that they were laughing. I ended up going around and punching all kinds of people in the face - girls, boys, people I didn't know, it didn't matter. Everyone was laughing at me and making fun of me, and making me look like a fool. Finally I got on the bus and sat and waited for it to be over. The next stop was my stop and I could have just walked but it was a little bit too far. Some girl came and sat by me, and scowled. I asked her why she was sitting by me - didn't she hate me or want to laugh at me like everyone else? She said yes, she did, and in fact I had punched her in the mouth earlier... But she knew that I was a generous person and a fool and she wanted to still be my friend in case she needed me later in life. I told her to fuck off, just saying that had ended the friendship, and then she got pissed at me because, "Wouldn't I rather her be honest than lie?" and I said, "Not in that case." She stomped off the bus.
I must have either switched dreams or "gone to commercial" at this point, because the next thing I knew I was at my old house on 2nd Ave, except I didn't live there. My old boyfriend JJN lived there, and I had come to see how he had fixed up the place. Zara was there with me, for "moral support" and we came in two cars. We went in, JJN hadn't really done much with it except put in new carpeting. We ate some sandwiches and chips and watched a little bit of TV, and then I said it was time to go. JJN had fallen asleep on the couch, so Zara and I just walked out. She got in her car, which was a funky looking green Saturn (not her real life car) and I walked up half a block and got in mine. I had to no problem pulling out of the space, even though I was parallel parked, and turned around and drove down the street towards High. When I passed her, she was still waiting to get out, but I didn't have time to stop and let her go before me. As I looked over at the house, JJN was outside crouched by a tree and smoking a cigarette (he doesn't smoke in real life.) I honked and he waved and that was it. I woke up.
I'm thinking that this dream happened because I've been so angry the last few days, remembering all the times people screwed me over. It's not that I hold a grudge, really, but it's not fair that I have to suffer over their shittiness for the rest of my life, while they move on, happy as goddamn clams. For instance: 4th grade: I had just discovered sour cream and onion chips. I was hanging out on the bleachers at school because my mom worked at the villa there and I had to wait for her to be done so we could go home. I had a bag of chips with me, just chillin' there, eating them, and this girl, Staci, came along with my friend Sarah Z. Staci conned that bag out of my hands by promising that she would bring me a new bag the next day. She never brought me one. Ever. She was the same girl who conned dollars out of me when they put the nacho machine in, and never paid me back. I would assume, that with interest, she probably owes me about $200 and 4 bags of chips. The big bags.
The same thing still continues today. DS (the gay half-breed) got so much free cocaine from me, so many drinks, fucked me over on this computer, stole my game, fucked me literally, and I'm left with a piece of shit computer, no RCT3, and the thought in my mind that I had sex with him... it's not that I regret it... but kinda. And out of all the men I've been with, he really is the only one I regret a little. I think it's because of all the other shit he did to me. There are so many others I could talk about - TM who not only stole money and DVDs and my wedding rings, but also got me addicted to cocaine; MMA who literally ruined my life, I lost my house and car and so on... but the worst part about MMA is that several times he went on a rampage and threw out things from my childhood that I had, just so I wouldn't think of my family. I don't know if I still have my rosary from my First Communion or not, several books my mom had made for me, cards I got when I was little... all gone. Every single one. Cards that I had gotten from people who are now dead that I rec'd when I was born! He really is a terrible person.
I guess I'm done being angry for today. It gives me a headache. I think that's why I've been so achey all weekend - because I've been so miserable about shit I can't change. Bah - back to trying to be optimistic.
On a happier note, Happy Birthday, SL!
I dreamt that I was on some sort of field trip, possibly a class reunion, with kids that I went to K-8 with. At one point we stopped at a gas station, and I had to pee. Some little girls had to also, so I volunteered to take them with me. Turned out that the bathroom was a shitty one-person, so I had to wait for the little girls to go then I told them to wait while I went. They were waiting just fine and I was almost done, when someone tried to open the door. The door wasn't very secure, and in fact I was holding it closed, and yelled, "Someone's in here!" The person on the other side kept trying to open the door, and I was almost being pulled off the toilet trying to keep it closed. Finally they got the better of me, and it swung open while I was still sitting there trying to pee. RB from work and this guy I went to high school with, TJG, were standing there laughing. I was like, "What the fuck guys, didn't you hear me yell someone was in here?" They said no, they had seen someone walk away from the door and it was open so they thought it was unoccupied. I thought that was a load of shit, and I said so. They just kept laughing, I finished peeing, and by this time the little girls had ran back to the bus so I just pulled up my jeans and walked out. I wanted to find some anti-bacterial hand lotion to buy, since I hadn't washed my hands, and when I walked into the gas station store, everyone I saw was laughing at me or talking about me, how I had let the door be open when I was peeing. It got to be so ridiculous that I literally punched some girls in their faces. Several times. Then people were pissed off at me for being pissed off that they were laughing. I ended up going around and punching all kinds of people in the face - girls, boys, people I didn't know, it didn't matter. Everyone was laughing at me and making fun of me, and making me look like a fool. Finally I got on the bus and sat and waited for it to be over. The next stop was my stop and I could have just walked but it was a little bit too far. Some girl came and sat by me, and scowled. I asked her why she was sitting by me - didn't she hate me or want to laugh at me like everyone else? She said yes, she did, and in fact I had punched her in the mouth earlier... But she knew that I was a generous person and a fool and she wanted to still be my friend in case she needed me later in life. I told her to fuck off, just saying that had ended the friendship, and then she got pissed at me because, "Wouldn't I rather her be honest than lie?" and I said, "Not in that case." She stomped off the bus.
I must have either switched dreams or "gone to commercial" at this point, because the next thing I knew I was at my old house on 2nd Ave, except I didn't live there. My old boyfriend JJN lived there, and I had come to see how he had fixed up the place. Zara was there with me, for "moral support" and we came in two cars. We went in, JJN hadn't really done much with it except put in new carpeting. We ate some sandwiches and chips and watched a little bit of TV, and then I said it was time to go. JJN had fallen asleep on the couch, so Zara and I just walked out. She got in her car, which was a funky looking green Saturn (not her real life car) and I walked up half a block and got in mine. I had to no problem pulling out of the space, even though I was parallel parked, and turned around and drove down the street towards High. When I passed her, she was still waiting to get out, but I didn't have time to stop and let her go before me. As I looked over at the house, JJN was outside crouched by a tree and smoking a cigarette (he doesn't smoke in real life.) I honked and he waved and that was it. I woke up.
I'm thinking that this dream happened because I've been so angry the last few days, remembering all the times people screwed me over. It's not that I hold a grudge, really, but it's not fair that I have to suffer over their shittiness for the rest of my life, while they move on, happy as goddamn clams. For instance: 4th grade: I had just discovered sour cream and onion chips. I was hanging out on the bleachers at school because my mom worked at the villa there and I had to wait for her to be done so we could go home. I had a bag of chips with me, just chillin' there, eating them, and this girl, Staci, came along with my friend Sarah Z. Staci conned that bag out of my hands by promising that she would bring me a new bag the next day. She never brought me one. Ever. She was the same girl who conned dollars out of me when they put the nacho machine in, and never paid me back. I would assume, that with interest, she probably owes me about $200 and 4 bags of chips. The big bags.
The same thing still continues today. DS (the gay half-breed) got so much free cocaine from me, so many drinks, fucked me over on this computer, stole my game, fucked me literally, and I'm left with a piece of shit computer, no RCT3, and the thought in my mind that I had sex with him... it's not that I regret it... but kinda. And out of all the men I've been with, he really is the only one I regret a little. I think it's because of all the other shit he did to me. There are so many others I could talk about - TM who not only stole money and DVDs and my wedding rings, but also got me addicted to cocaine; MMA who literally ruined my life, I lost my house and car and so on... but the worst part about MMA is that several times he went on a rampage and threw out things from my childhood that I had, just so I wouldn't think of my family. I don't know if I still have my rosary from my First Communion or not, several books my mom had made for me, cards I got when I was little... all gone. Every single one. Cards that I had gotten from people who are now dead that I rec'd when I was born! He really is a terrible person.
I guess I'm done being angry for today. It gives me a headache. I think that's why I've been so achey all weekend - because I've been so miserable about shit I can't change. Bah - back to trying to be optimistic.
On a happier note, Happy Birthday, SL!
08 March 2006
Marlboro Menthol Lights in a box please.
I've been smoking the same cigarettes for almost all of the 13 years I've been a smoker. Sometimes I wonder what Philip Morris has done with all that money... and what I could have done with it. Oh well. Now I save Marlboro Miles and maybe some day I'll be able to get that swell bomber jacket!
Well today was an interesting day. I suppose I should start with last night, really. I went to Zuey's for a few hours with KP. Since I've given up beer, I had so much trouble trying to figure out what I wanted to drink. I started with the bombs- Cherry, then Grape (nasty) and lastly, Berry (tastes like cough syrup.) By that time, because I literally drank all three of those within about 15 minutes, I was warm inside. KP finally showed up, and of course, she was drinking beer. I was so envious. The boring kid came in for a minute, and he bought me a Jaeger bomb, which I am starting to once again enjoy. I had a half of a glass of beer because I have to follow Jaeger with beer just because of the weird funky taste it leaves in my mouth. I had a few other drinks, and ended up spending more than I'm used to. It kinda sucked, but I suppose that not drinking beer, which is wicked cheap, has it's price. Ha.
We had a blast at Zuey's, I love hanging out with fun people who like to have fun. Too often I find myself hanging around losers who do nothing but complain about everything around them, and that brings me down. I've finally figured this out after all this time, I'm not sure what took me so long... Anyway. We played this battle of the sexes game, which I rocked at, and that was okay. We didn't really keep score or anything or have a game board, it was pretty much just KL reading the questions. KP was good too, and this one kid, and of course JD and The Mean Guy knew their stuff. Everyone was surprised at how many of the really hard questions I knew. See, I guess they just don't know me that well and have not yet realised my infinite wisdom. Alright, I won't go that far, but I am really, really intelligent. I scored high on my tests.
KP and I went back to her house, and she made some Hamburger Helper for our toasted asses. It was good, but way hot, and I gave some to Spike the Dog. I couldn't stay because I'm not comfortable sleeping at other people's houses, and for some reason my nose tells me that her apartment smells like gas. She doesn't notice it, but it hits me hard. So I went home and talked to SL for awhile and then passed out. I woke up around 07:24, confused because I was holding the phone in my hand. Apparently I had forgotten to plug it in... oh well. The Today Show was on, and it was something about something I didn't care about, so I went back to sleep. I finally woke up around 08:45 and hauled my ass out of bed. I kept smelling the smell of gas, and it was really making me sick. I felt sick all day right up until now. I've eaten stuff, like ND brought in McDonald's for me and I had some Mac'n'Cheese for lunch and a little bit of chinese food (from the crock pot) for dinner, but still my stomach is like Yikes. Oh well.
MMA instant messaged me today, offering to contribute his tax refund towards the divorce. I am wondering what his motivation is because I know that simply getting the divorce isn't enough. I bet he wants to get married to the girl he was dating... if they're still dating... who knows. All I know is that I have $100.00 saved so we'll see what happens and when. I'm not too concerned about it, I'm not getting married for almost a year yet.
I'm a little bit sad right now because SL was supposed to come back next Thursday but he might have to stay in Florida longer. It's not for legal reasons or anything like that, he just hasn't been able to get any work through the labor ready place, and so he only has a little bit of money saved up. Of course, everyday he waits to buy the ticket, the price goes up more. I'll probably PayPal him a couple bucks to contribute, just so I can get him here sooner. He heard back from one of his prospects for a job here, and it seems really promising. The guy told him that he really wants SL for the position, and he's waiting for him to come back to interview him in person. I hope he gets that job, it's really really great and the pay is awesome. He would be making almost as much as I am, and more than someone who works at a gas station or in a meat department at the grocery store.
Speaking of gas again, I got a new furnace. This makes me happy. They knocked money off my rent, to compensate for the retarded gas bill, and that made me happy too. All in all, now that I've let go of this bullshit and I'm moving on with my life, I'm generally in a better mood. I'm making a valiant effort to be optimistic, and it's working! The less depressing losers I hang out with, the better off I am. Now that there aren't those kind of people in my life anymore, it's gravy. Yay for me. I rock.
Oh, and because I know she's going to read this:
SS, sending me emails and instant messages is pointless. You're wasting your time. I'm not going to stoop to your level. Have a wonderful life; I hope everything goes the way you want it. It's been real, and it's been fun, but it hasn't been real fun. Move on and focus your energy on your children and your husband. I'm not a part of your life anymore.
The End.
Well today was an interesting day. I suppose I should start with last night, really. I went to Zuey's for a few hours with KP. Since I've given up beer, I had so much trouble trying to figure out what I wanted to drink. I started with the bombs- Cherry, then Grape (nasty) and lastly, Berry (tastes like cough syrup.) By that time, because I literally drank all three of those within about 15 minutes, I was warm inside. KP finally showed up, and of course, she was drinking beer. I was so envious. The boring kid came in for a minute, and he bought me a Jaeger bomb, which I am starting to once again enjoy. I had a half of a glass of beer because I have to follow Jaeger with beer just because of the weird funky taste it leaves in my mouth. I had a few other drinks, and ended up spending more than I'm used to. It kinda sucked, but I suppose that not drinking beer, which is wicked cheap, has it's price. Ha.
We had a blast at Zuey's, I love hanging out with fun people who like to have fun. Too often I find myself hanging around losers who do nothing but complain about everything around them, and that brings me down. I've finally figured this out after all this time, I'm not sure what took me so long... Anyway. We played this battle of the sexes game, which I rocked at, and that was okay. We didn't really keep score or anything or have a game board, it was pretty much just KL reading the questions. KP was good too, and this one kid, and of course JD and The Mean Guy knew their stuff. Everyone was surprised at how many of the really hard questions I knew. See, I guess they just don't know me that well and have not yet realised my infinite wisdom. Alright, I won't go that far, but I am really, really intelligent. I scored high on my tests.
KP and I went back to her house, and she made some Hamburger Helper for our toasted asses. It was good, but way hot, and I gave some to Spike the Dog. I couldn't stay because I'm not comfortable sleeping at other people's houses, and for some reason my nose tells me that her apartment smells like gas. She doesn't notice it, but it hits me hard. So I went home and talked to SL for awhile and then passed out. I woke up around 07:24, confused because I was holding the phone in my hand. Apparently I had forgotten to plug it in... oh well. The Today Show was on, and it was something about something I didn't care about, so I went back to sleep. I finally woke up around 08:45 and hauled my ass out of bed. I kept smelling the smell of gas, and it was really making me sick. I felt sick all day right up until now. I've eaten stuff, like ND brought in McDonald's for me and I had some Mac'n'Cheese for lunch and a little bit of chinese food (from the crock pot) for dinner, but still my stomach is like Yikes. Oh well.
MMA instant messaged me today, offering to contribute his tax refund towards the divorce. I am wondering what his motivation is because I know that simply getting the divorce isn't enough. I bet he wants to get married to the girl he was dating... if they're still dating... who knows. All I know is that I have $100.00 saved so we'll see what happens and when. I'm not too concerned about it, I'm not getting married for almost a year yet.
I'm a little bit sad right now because SL was supposed to come back next Thursday but he might have to stay in Florida longer. It's not for legal reasons or anything like that, he just hasn't been able to get any work through the labor ready place, and so he only has a little bit of money saved up. Of course, everyday he waits to buy the ticket, the price goes up more. I'll probably PayPal him a couple bucks to contribute, just so I can get him here sooner. He heard back from one of his prospects for a job here, and it seems really promising. The guy told him that he really wants SL for the position, and he's waiting for him to come back to interview him in person. I hope he gets that job, it's really really great and the pay is awesome. He would be making almost as much as I am, and more than someone who works at a gas station or in a meat department at the grocery store.
Speaking of gas again, I got a new furnace. This makes me happy. They knocked money off my rent, to compensate for the retarded gas bill, and that made me happy too. All in all, now that I've let go of this bullshit and I'm moving on with my life, I'm generally in a better mood. I'm making a valiant effort to be optimistic, and it's working! The less depressing losers I hang out with, the better off I am. Now that there aren't those kind of people in my life anymore, it's gravy. Yay for me. I rock.
Oh, and because I know she's going to read this:
SS, sending me emails and instant messages is pointless. You're wasting your time. I'm not going to stoop to your level. Have a wonderful life; I hope everything goes the way you want it. It's been real, and it's been fun, but it hasn't been real fun. Move on and focus your energy on your children and your husband. I'm not a part of your life anymore.
The End.
07 March 2006
I Try and I Try and Still...
...They keep bothering me. Like gnats... or leeches... or cunts.
Fucking.
Cunt.
Apparently, I lied about her... which I find ABSOLUTELY hilarious, considering everything I say is my opinion, and if I do present facts, nine times out of ten I back them up with much research. Whatever!
Fuck her.
Read on.
"A series of Instant Messages, by SS and Kelly."
It's like... she's just so fucking ignorant. And I absolutely LOVE the part where she mentions my blog, considering earlier she had commented (on my C-U-N-T song) that only my "dumb-ass friends" read my "dumb-ass blog" yet here she is, sending me bullshit IMs after reading what I posted. Fucking hypocritical slimy cunts who aren't even worthy to breathe the same air as me... Oh, it's just wonderful.
I'm going to keep collecting all the nasty things she says to me, all the threats, etc., and if she tries to say anything or do anything to me, we'll all know who is to blame. I have no enemies or bad blood between anyone except her. Not even my husband is as vindictive and cunty as she is. So, not only do I have the proof of several threats she made on this blog, I also have them saved on my computer and in my email.
Come on honey, try something.
Fucking.
Cunt.
Apparently, I lied about her... which I find ABSOLUTELY hilarious, considering everything I say is my opinion, and if I do present facts, nine times out of ten I back them up with much research. Whatever!
Fuck her.
Read on.
"A series of Instant Messages, by SS and Kelly."
SS (
SS (
Kelly (
SS (
Kelly (
Kelly (
SS (
Kelly (
Kelly (
Kelly (
SS (
Kelly (
SS (
Kelly (
SS (
SS (
SS has signed out. (
Kelly (
SS appears to be offline and will receive your messages after signing in.
SS (
Kelly (
SS appears to be offline and will receive your messages after signing in.
SS appears to be offline and will receive your messages after signing in.
SS (
SS (
SS (2/28/2006 11:39:00 AM): BTW, very wise choice leaving {my son's} business out of your blog, but I suggest you leave me out of it from now on as well.
Kelly (
Kelly (
SS (
SS (
SS (
SS (
Kelly (
Kelly (
SS (
SS (
SS (
Kelly (
Kelly (
SS appears to be offline and will receive your messages after signing in.
SS (
Kelly (
Kelly (
Kelly (
SS (
Kelly (
Kelly (
SS (
SS (
Kelly (2/28/2006 12:01:13 PM): Just like the rest of the debt collectors I have asked you twice now to not bother me at work, and you must adhere to the law.
Kelly (
SS (
SS (
SS (
Kelly (
SS (
Kelly (
Kelly (
SS (
Kelly (
Kelly (
SS (
Kelly (
SS (
SS (
SS (
Kelly (
SS (
Kelly (
Kelly (
SS (
Kelly (
Kelly (
Kelly (
Kelly (
Kelly (
SS (
Kelly (
SS (
SS (
SS (
SS (
Kelly (
SS (
Kelly (
Kelly (
Kelly (
SS (
SS (
Kelly (
SS (
SS (
SS (
SS (
SS (
SS (
SS (
SS (
SS (
SS (
SS (
SS has signed out. (
It's like... she's just so fucking ignorant. And I absolutely LOVE the part where she mentions my blog, considering earlier she had commented (on my C-U-N-T song) that only my "dumb-ass friends" read my "dumb-ass blog" yet here she is, sending me bullshit IMs after reading what I posted. Fucking hypocritical slimy cunts who aren't even worthy to breathe the same air as me... Oh, it's just wonderful.
I'm going to keep collecting all the nasty things she says to me, all the threats, etc., and if she tries to say anything or do anything to me, we'll all know who is to blame. I have no enemies or bad blood between anyone except her. Not even my husband is as vindictive and cunty as she is. So, not only do I have the proof of several threats she made on this blog, I also have them saved on my computer and in my email.
Come on honey, try something.
I'm Done
With all this bullshit that has been going on, I've pretty much forgotten the point of this blog. Yeah, it's for whatever I want it to be for, but I never intended for it to become a bill board where I post up all the crap that is going on in my life for you to see. I'm sick and tired of the crap myself, so I have decided that I'm just done with it.
I'm done with my ex-friend, the one who claims I turned on her so quickly yet in actuality it was her who turned on me instead of being a real friend and being happy that I am happy. I'm very happy in my life right now, save for the constant pricking of this divorce, but I can get past that because it's just like... heartburn. No pun intended.
I'm done with my in-laws, who are badgering me about this stupid fucking car title. I'm just going to sign it over as soon as I recieve it, and never have to deal with them again. Maybe when they see me being nice, like I usually am, they will pass the word on to MMA and he will finally give me a divorce. (Yeah, right.)
I'm done being pessimisstic... as much as I can be. It's taking a toll on my relationship, and I don't want that to happen anymore. Just because other things failed in the past doesn't mean this will too. If I expect failure, it will happen, so I just have to have a good out look on things. Besides, SL has never done anything to show me that this will fail. Despite the lies, at least he had the balls to tell me about it... He could have held onto those lies for the rest of our lives and I would have found out some other way, which would be way worse than finding out directly from him. Plus he's still young yet, and our relationship is still new, so there is plenty of time to fix whatever little things happen to be broken before we start this machine running for the long haul.
I'm done with loans/etc. No more "friend" loans, no more check-into-cash, no more anything. I make more than enough money to support myself, I just need to learn to budget better. I never have a problem paying all my bills, in full, on time (well except the ridiculous $611.00 gas bill, but that's a different story), I just don't have much money left over. Now that I don't have Rent-A-Center to pay anymore and I'm not going to have to pay back any pay advance places, I'll be golden.
Anyway.
Last night I went to Rosie's with RE(D)B and her husband. Zara has the show there on Mondays still, though we're not sure for how long yet because the manager is not the nicest fellow in the world. He's gone through KJ's like it was his job... yeah. We had a pretty good time, although they're normal people, RE(D)B and her hub, and I think I kept them out a bit late for their routine. *wink* Not everyone can party hardy all night long like I can, but I commend them for that. I wish I could fall asleep at a regular time! They bought me a couple beers, which I only later remembered that I've given up beer for Lent (yes, we're trying it again) and that was cool. RE(D)B sang "The Rose" and I was proud of her for getting up there alone and doing it because I know she's not all that keen on singing alone. She sang it well and in fact I was a trifle choked up by it. I sang a bunch of songs, "Somewhere Only We Know" (Keane), a Buster "You Had Me" (Joss Stone), "Broken Wing" (Martina McBride), and "At Last" (Etta James.) Whoever it was that said once that I'm "mediocre" or "moderately good" needs to have their ears cleaned, because I fuckin' rocked. "You Had Me" wasn't 100% awesome, but that's okay because I have never sang it before and I just need to practice. I wasn't off key or whathaveyou, I just had a bit of trouble keeping up with the tempo because I don't know all the words by heart yet. Next time though, I will rock out like a rockstar. Oh yeah.
Oh, and FYI I call RE(D)B with the (D) because it's still hard for me to think of her being REB, which is her married name. I've known her for almost ten years now, and for most of that time she was RED, so... that's all. Maybe someday I'll get used to it... I hope so, cuz her husband is swell.
Later.
I'm done with my ex-friend, the one who claims I turned on her so quickly yet in actuality it was her who turned on me instead of being a real friend and being happy that I am happy. I'm very happy in my life right now, save for the constant pricking of this divorce, but I can get past that because it's just like... heartburn. No pun intended.
I'm done with my in-laws, who are badgering me about this stupid fucking car title. I'm just going to sign it over as soon as I recieve it, and never have to deal with them again. Maybe when they see me being nice, like I usually am, they will pass the word on to MMA and he will finally give me a divorce. (Yeah, right.)
I'm done being pessimisstic... as much as I can be. It's taking a toll on my relationship, and I don't want that to happen anymore. Just because other things failed in the past doesn't mean this will too. If I expect failure, it will happen, so I just have to have a good out look on things. Besides, SL has never done anything to show me that this will fail. Despite the lies, at least he had the balls to tell me about it... He could have held onto those lies for the rest of our lives and I would have found out some other way, which would be way worse than finding out directly from him. Plus he's still young yet, and our relationship is still new, so there is plenty of time to fix whatever little things happen to be broken before we start this machine running for the long haul.
I'm done with loans/etc. No more "friend" loans, no more check-into-cash, no more anything. I make more than enough money to support myself, I just need to learn to budget better. I never have a problem paying all my bills, in full, on time (well except the ridiculous $611.00 gas bill, but that's a different story), I just don't have much money left over. Now that I don't have Rent-A-Center to pay anymore and I'm not going to have to pay back any pay advance places, I'll be golden.
Anyway.
Last night I went to Rosie's with RE(D)B and her husband. Zara has the show there on Mondays still, though we're not sure for how long yet because the manager is not the nicest fellow in the world. He's gone through KJ's like it was his job... yeah. We had a pretty good time, although they're normal people, RE(D)B and her hub, and I think I kept them out a bit late for their routine. *wink* Not everyone can party hardy all night long like I can, but I commend them for that. I wish I could fall asleep at a regular time! They bought me a couple beers, which I only later remembered that I've given up beer for Lent (yes, we're trying it again) and that was cool. RE(D)B sang "The Rose" and I was proud of her for getting up there alone and doing it because I know she's not all that keen on singing alone. She sang it well and in fact I was a trifle choked up by it. I sang a bunch of songs, "Somewhere Only We Know" (Keane), a Buster "You Had Me" (Joss Stone), "Broken Wing" (Martina McBride), and "At Last" (Etta James.) Whoever it was that said once that I'm "mediocre" or "moderately good" needs to have their ears cleaned, because I fuckin' rocked. "You Had Me" wasn't 100% awesome, but that's okay because I have never sang it before and I just need to practice. I wasn't off key or whathaveyou, I just had a bit of trouble keeping up with the tempo because I don't know all the words by heart yet. Next time though, I will rock out like a rockstar. Oh yeah.
Oh, and FYI I call RE(D)B with the (D) because it's still hard for me to think of her being REB, which is her married name. I've known her for almost ten years now, and for most of that time she was RED, so... that's all. Maybe someday I'll get used to it... I hope so, cuz her husband is swell.
Later.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)