Yes, another one. Sorry. I'm not even going to introduce it.
I was walking down a boardwalk with a twin stroller that contained two little baby girls. One was named Pearl Bailey and the other was named Stacy Stefanie. I only know this because I had a mind flash of their birth certificates hanging on the wall. As I am walking, I find a black lab with a seeing-eye style harness just chillin'. It looks lost. At the same time, my mom arrives on scene. She's fawning over the babies and I realise that one of them belongs to my girlfriend. Now, I don't know if this is girlfriend as in lesbian or girlfriend as in female friend. Anyway, we decide to take the bridge over to the other side where I live. As we are walking I call the humane society and report having found a lost dog, and I give the girl on the phone the numbers on the dog's tag. She tells me that two other people, from the Hilltop and Westgate have reported the dog found. I am amazed because those areas are nowhere near where we are. The dog has changed colors as we walk, from black to golden. I am hanging onto his harness, and pushing the stroller while my mom walks behind us. When we get to the end of the boardwalk, we see that today is Ferry Day, meaning that the bridge is closed and the only way to get across the water is to take the Ferry. Well, we certainly can't take a Ferry with a stroller and a dog, so we decide to take the long way around. Suddenly, the dog jumps into the water. He's turned back to black. He's swimming around and I yell out, "Come here Kroger!" and he immediately jumps out of the water, shakes off, and we walk away from the edge. Then it fades out. I am at my house where I live now, only we live in Florida or some sort of tropical place because there are palm trees and big dinosaur plants all around. Also, my apartment is about three times the size of real life. I am walking out of my back door, and see this tranny bitch that lives down the way (not in real life) walking with a friend past my door. She says something shitty to me and I smack her in the face. I say something shitty back as I make my way toward the patio, and she threatens me to "watch my back." I laugh and tell her to grow a penis, but, oh wait! She's already got one. Hahaha. She walks away. I am on the patio then, and forget why I was going there in the first place, so I go back in the house. SL is upstairs, and I yell to him to come on because we have to go. Apparently we are going on vacation and it is time to leave. Kroger is there and so are the cats, but Kroger has been shedding a lot and it's making a mess. The whole room is full of dog hair. I go upstairs to help SL with the suitcases and when we come back down, there is no dog hair. Instead, there is a zebra. Kroger's shed turned into a zebra. This seems perfectly logical to us. We put the zebra and Kroger into this other room which is painted red and for some reason has a cage. The zebra goes in the cage and Kroger can run around. SL and I leave, and drive to a restaurant/game place/bar. It's dirty and dark and old and pretty shitty, but I guess they have really great food. We sit down at a picnic-style table (with plastic lawn chairs) and the waitress comes over to ask for IDs. As she is checking SL's, my phone rings, so I go outside to take it. It's the humane society, calling to see if I still have the dog. I tell them yes, and by the way, it spawned a zebra. The girl says something about that happens when they get lost, and it's okay. She tells me that no one has claimed the dog or come looking for it, so I am free to keep it, and the zebra. I run inside to tell SL the good news (I guess) and some asshole has taken my seat. I gently tap him on the shoulder and say, "Excuse me, you're in my seat" and he turns around with a scary face and says, "Do you own this place? Do you own this chair?" and other mean things. SL and I walk out and decided to go to the restaurant across the parking lot, and while we are walking over there I see VM and he's looking very Euro. He's talking on the phone so I don't say hi. Just before we walk in the door, my phone rings again. It's our maid (woo-hoo!) calling to say that there is a zebra in the house. I tell her it's okay, no problem, they should be fine in that room with water and food for a week while we're gone. She says I need to come home right away. We go home, and when we look in the room, everything seems fine. Kroger is napping on a pile of blankets, and so is the zebra... wait... the zebra was supposed to be in the cage! I look at the bars, and they are all bent to hell. The zebra has gone feral. It's foaming at the mouth and making a wierd hissing noise. I run in, grab Kroger, and just as I am slamming the door shut, the zebra makes a jump for it to attack me. Fortunately, I closed the door just in time. SL and I decide that we will keep Kroger, but we have to give the zebra to a zoo. The End.
When I woke up, I half expected to find a black lab in the living room.
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