How Do They Know This About Me?

You know you're from Cleveland when...

• Your idea of fine cuisine includes keilbasa and Stroh's beer
• You think the Antichrist walks among us and moved to Baltimore in 1995
• You refer to Pittsburgh as a Third World nation
• You have to look at a map before you realize Cincinnati is NOT in Kentucky
• You think political correctness involves using the term "certain ethnic" when telling a joke
• You believe plastic lawn flamingos are essential in any landscaping project
• Your second car is completely dissolved by salt by the time April rolls around
• The phrase "lake effect" strikes terror in your heart
• You actually remember when Dennis Kucinich was mayor
• You see nothing wrong with wearing white sox with black shoes, even when wearing a tux
• Party music involves an accordion
• You always knew you lived in the Rock n Roll Capital of the World
• You know more about Frankie Yankovic than Weird Al Yankovic
• Tourists ask you what time the river catches fire
• You believe the Second Coming meant the Browns returning in 1999
• You don't really know any homosexuals, you just know that there are a lot of them in Lakewood.
• You know you don't really have an accent, the rest of the world does.
• You hear there are always famous people in town, but you have never seen one.
• You hate country music, don't know anyone that does like country music, and yet WGAR just won the country music station of the year.
• You take credit for Cedar Point even though it is 2 hours away.
• You honestly believe that Cleveland is the best city in the world.
• The Tri-C jingle "students for life" scares the hell out of you.
• You take Dead Man's Curve at 60 mph holding your breath.
• You know about the Eastside/Westside rivalry, but don't really understand it.
• "Good Morning from the Buzzard Morning Zoo" is a jingle you'll never forget.
• Your neighborhood schools went without sports because all the senior citizens refused to pass the levies.
• You actually know how to pronounce Cuyahoga.
• You can't tell Brook Park, Brooklyn, or Old Brooklyn apart.
• You see Christmas lights still up in July.
• You love BW-3, but have no clue what the heck weck is.
• You find yourself singing "Garfield 1-2323" in the shower.
• You're still dumbfounded by the Leaping Fountain in Tower City.
• You have never ridden in a taxi.
• You wear shorts the first day of the year it isn't below 30 and snowing, just because you can.
• You have gotten 3 speeding tickets, and they are all from the mile long stretch of a suburb named Linndale.
• You have no idea how exactly to get to the Flats, you just kind of end up on a bank and start partying.
• You really don't know what the Warehouse District is, you just know that it's a great place to party.
• You know who the Jake really is
• You hate Baltimore and you have never been there.
• St. Patty's Day is your number one holiday, and you aren't Irish.
• You're still relishing 1987 when we ALMOST made it to the Super Bowl.
• You counted down with the monument in Tower City to the exact second in 1999 when the Browns came back.
• You heard Bill Clinton and Drew Carey love Parma Pierogies, but you have yet to ever eat there.
• You know Tower City isn't a city at all.
• You're Polish.
• Stories of Little Italy still send chills down your spine.
• At least half of your wardrobe is Tribe apparel.

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