I'm Number Three!

Hello all.

I realised that I rarely greet my readers. How awful of me. So here it is: Hi. And up there too.

So... Friday... I did something... Let me think. I went and saw my shrink which was pretty good, and then... what the fuck did I do on Friday? I seriously can't remember... it was something... oh! I know, I got my oil changed. Then later on at night, I went to Eldo's to see O's band. It was fucking awesome. They are so great. They sing a combo of like reggae, oldish R&B (like Marvin Gaye, Smokey Robinson, that stuff) and then they sing some modern songs that they put a reggae groove to. Fucking Awesome. It was raining. GG was supposed to meet me there and I kept watching for her, but I was sitting in the back where O had reserved a table for us. Then they took a break and I saw the back of GG's head way over at the bar, so I went over to say hi and apparently she had been there for like an hour or something... not sure how I missed that but whatever. Cass the bartender told me she wants to be my agent because one time she was working and she thought there was a break in karaoke and they were playing the radio, only to look up and realise that it was me singing. She was not working Friday and was quite blitzed. I gave her my number anyway.

Saturday morning I got up at the crack of dawn (wait til you read why this is funny) to go get my very first Brazilian wax. It was so cold outside and I was so happy to feel like fall is finally here (It's about damn time too!) The process of Brazilian wax is actually quite easy, and there was only a little pain... I sorta yelped once but she told me that it was going to be the most painful part, so I felt alright. Kinda strange to be on a sort of doctor's table, sans panties, while some chick I never met before spreads hot wax on my cooch and then rips it off with a muslin strip... yeah. But now I have the smoothest cooch of all time... hopefully SL will enjoy it - I know I have so far!
When I got home, I talked to KL to see how her days off are going, and called RMac (old friend) to talk for awhile while I made chili for the 1st annual Zuey's Chili Cook Off! My chili is vegetarian and it fucking rules. It's more like a warm salsa for dipping nachos and stuff in, but it's good with garlic mashed potatoes too. I make it so fuckin' spicy too, tons of Cayenne pepper... mmmmm.... now I'm getting hungry. Anyway. I went to Zuey's around four thirty, and chilled and watched the U of GA Bulldogs versus Tennessee Volunteers with Geese (that would be "geez" not "geese" like the honking bird.) We talked about The Game, RC who is now trying to sober up, and a whole bunch of other shit. I was happy to talk to him because he is just so awesome. I sounded like GG just now. Anyway, we sat and talked, we talked with Fuzz, and had a great time. The Buckeyes came on at 7:45pm and Loggy and the Mosquito sat near me because Fuzz had wandered off somewhere. SR came down and sat with Geese and I, and the three of us had some really interesting conversations. I like talking to intelligent people, it makes being at a bar and hanging out that much better.
Ferfer was working the night shift, and I have decided that she's alright. Not great, not fine, just alright. Suddenly DB comes up to me and sets a cooler from Corona in front of me. She says, "You won third place. Congratulations." Yay!!!! I was fucking thrilled. Some lady named Ann that I have no idea who she could possibly be won 1st place, her chili was the fucking slam, and LD won 2nd place with her white chili (which by the way is just chicken noodle soup with beans in it - it was good but I was so unimpressed by the white chilis that were in the running - seriously, who eats chicken chili?) I jumped for joy (literally) and went outside to call SL and then called my mom to tell them the great news about me being number three. Inside the cooler was a Miller Lite t-shirt and an inflatable Miller Genuine Draft pumpkin (I hung it from the ceiling in my living room!) SR and Geese and I decided to go to the VIP for karaoke, and I was thrilled because I knew Cunt Bitch Extraordinairre would be working and I could try out my new deal with the owner where she keeps personal life separate from work. She totally served me four beers (two for me, one for SR and one for KP.) KP called and she and her friend T decided to meet us there. Karaoke wasn't on for a little while because the game wasn't over yet, but when it did come on, I sang "Hollaback Girl" and it was pretty alright. We had great conversations.
Then SL called me, which was wonderful because I love him, and he was having some PTSD problems. I tried to calm him down but I didn't know exactly what to do, seeing as how I have never experienced someone having those problems, but I tried. I told him to call TG since he was in Vietnam, and he tried, but TG wasn't home. He called me back and told me not to worry, it wasn't my problem, and I told him that it was my problem because I care about him. He said not to bother worrying again, and I said, "SL, I care about you and love you, therefore your problems are my problems and that's just the way it's going to be." He told me he loved me and would call me later. I was standing at the end of the bar when went back in, waiting for my tab, when suddenly there was a Moose behind me and I yelled. He scared the living daylights out of me. I tried to finish a beer that T had bought for me, but I couldn't because I was all fucked up about SL, worrying and so on. He called me while I was on the way home and we talked for awhile until he had to go, but he was going to call me back. By this point in time I was so damn tired that when he called me back, I watched the phone ring in my hand, confused as to why it wasn't answering itself. I had eight beers in nine hours on Saturday.

Sunday, I cleaned a bit, and watched a bunch of movies. GMc called me in the afternoon and wanted me to go car shopping with him, so we went down to the Ricart Megamall (commune) in fucking BFE. He got a new Mitsubishi (well 2003) and it's pretty cool. I played Mrs. GMc, shaking everyone's hand and watching him sign the paperwork. Then we dropped off his rental (which I drove back) and went over to my place where I made French Onion Soup (it wasn't so good because I didn't have all the cheese I needed and the mix was just not the right one) and hamburger helper. We watched this great movie, Madhouse, and then headed out to karaoke. Karaoke was pretty fun, the bar was practically empty but everyone who was there was a singer. This annoying negro, Bobby, was there, and he kept following us around even though we moved tables. One time awhile ago he was bothering me so much, it was my fault because I told him how handsome he is (just because you're a head case doesn't mean you can't be hot, cuz he is) and since that point he wouldn't leave me alone. So he sits next to me and I go all KKK on his ass, "Alright Bobby, I know I told you that you're attractive, but my religion forbids me from touching/dating/marrying negroes. I don't believe in species intermixing. Monkeys and humans did not come from the same place and they should not be together." He kinda looked at me and I thought I had finally offended him, but instead he was like, "It's alright girl we can work it out." Fuck that guy. I don't actually feel like that racist stuff, just so you all know, by the way. I had two Foster's, one that GMc bought and one that GMc gave me that he couldn't drink after taking two sips. All in all it was a great night. Eminem called me at one point and I was like "I'm on the other line, I'll call you back" and I never did.

Yesterday was GMc's birthday. He came over with this kid, we'll call him BC, who has a few issues. I made homemade lasagna, which was awesome of course, and then we watched some TV. Karaoke was the plan of course for the evening, and O called me for a ride, so we picked him up around nine thirty and headed to Brewstirs at Weber and High. We took GMc's new car because obviously three men and I would not cram into a Mustang. When we got there, it was actually quite dead. Usually the place is packed with a great crowd, but I think it had something to do with the holiday, maybe folks were out picnicking all day. It was so much fun. I think GMc had a good time too, which was the most important part. Tomcat showed up also, so that was fun. We talked about some stuff which was important a little bit, outside, and that was good. Cat bought us shots and some beers all night long, it was great. I think I may have had about six or seven shots. There was this kid, Brian, and he was pretty cool. Then he asked for a ride home, and since he only lived four blocks from me, I said no problem. Well we had just dropped O off and the kid leans up to the front seat and says, "You guys wanna party?" and GMc says "Well she used to be a coke head and I used to smoke crack so what do you mean by party?" and the kid is just like "Um let me call my dude, whatever you want" but we didn't want anything, we were just going to maybe take it if he had it. We pulled over to The Continent where he said he lived, and I told him to get the fuck out of the car. He did, and said he wanted to talk to GMc for a second, and he kept trying to get GMc to buy something. We were so not interested. I told GMc to get back in the car, and he did, and we drove off, leaving the boy in the parking lot. I wonder if he actually lived there or not... oh well. The damn security guard was circling the area watching us and I sure didn't want to go to jail. Fuck that boy.
When GMc and I got back to my house, he ate some leftover lasagna and garlic bread, and I ate olives. The kittens had torn open all these little bags of cornbread, so it was all over the place. Damn kittens (oh they have fleas now too, again.) GMc left after I made sure he was good to drive, and I called Cat to ask her about that Brian dude, since she said she knew him. She said she didn't know him that well actually, and had no idea why he would be acting so fucked up. I called SL then because I told him I was going to call when I got home, and when he answered he had been sleeping. I looked at the clock then and realised it was 3:15 a.m., and told him I love him and go back to sleep; he called me back five minutes later. Said I had woken him up and he couldn't get back to sleep so he wanted to talk to me. Somehow, although we were both really fucking half asleep, we had phone sex... I know I usually don't mention it but it was amazing that we could, being as tired as we were. Love amazes me sometimes... and horniness.

Peace.