24 May 2007

The Monkeys Chose Cocaine.

Read more about it here.

And I understand why they did. If I had the means, I'd choose cocaine too. I am an addict. I would love to have mounds and piles and bathtubs full of cocaine just for my own personal use. But I don't, and that's a good thing. I keep myself away from it because I know that if I even do one little bump, it will all be over. That's how it happened last time - one bump turned into four, turned into a line, turned into fat rails, turned into three 8-balls a weekend. Terrible. I don't want to risk losing my job again, I don't want to OD again. No thank you. But it's so difficult. When things get stressful, I long for the feeling of numbness, the burn when the powder hits my sinus cavities (sounds gross, I know, but it's awesome), the notion of being the wisest person in my area and having such profound insight into whatever music happens to be playing at the time. Save for the physical downsides, such as acquiring perforations on the inside of my nasal passage and the awful disgusting and totally grotesque runny/stuffy nose that happens on the come-down... cocaine is perfect.
But that's another thing, I can't stand the runny/stuffy nose. I fucking hate it. My allergies are kicking my ass right now, and I am dying over here with this fucking shit, blowing my nose every 10 minutes, not being able to inhale through my nose, etc etc etc. WHY on EARTH would I do this to myself purposely? I wouldn't - not anymore.

All this is spawned from a TV show I watched the other day about drugs on the History Channel. Damn monkeys.

No comments: