Roll to Me

"So look around your world pretty baby is it everything you hoped it'd be? The wrong guy, the wrong situation, the right time to roll to me."

Interesting song. Even more interesting horoscope:

"You've never been one to graciously accommodate those around you simply to be polite. You are unique, and you don't mind shocking anyone who has more conventional attitudes about life. Nevertheless, you do have to live on the same planet as other people. Right now, your inner frustrations could make you difficult to be around. When you start to feel rebellious, take it outside - or to any place where you can let loose. I hear it's nearly springtime in the Australian Outback."

Well, okay. That's just great. I'm not even going to comment on it, I will leave that up to you.

So. Worms. Yep. I have to go to the bank today and make sure I can get a new account and bankcard. I fucking hate Yahoo. I have deleted all but two of my accounts. Fuck them. Look at this crap:

Hello,
Thank you for writing to Yahoo! Account Services.
We have reviewed the verification information that you have provided. However, we were unable to match the date of birth that you provided with the information that was entered during registration or when this account was last updated. To protect the security and privacy of all accounts, we are unable to provide login or other account assistance without completely verifying the account.

Please resubmit your request, and remember to match the information as it was entered when you originally established your account, or when you most recently updated your information. We look forward to assisting you with this account once the appropriate verification information has been received.
Thank you again for contacting Yahoo! Customer Care.
Regards,
Christopher
Yahoo! Customer Care
For assistance with all Yahoo! services, please visit:
http://help.yahoo.com/
New and Improved Yahoo! Mail - better than ever!

Original Message Follows:
-------------------------
I'd like to alert that there is a possible worm going thru your yahoo! messenger service. Three people I know, including myself, have been affected by this and we can no longer access our accounts. I have tried calling your customer service department and they are no help whatsoever. The worm transfers by IM, sending a message to everyone on your list, and when they click on it and log in to "view the pictures" it collects the information for that account. Somehow, even though I know this is not "possible" (according to customer service), this script or person changes the date of birth so that it is impossible for any yahoo! customer affected by this worm to verify their account.

So here is what I responded to "Christopher":

"Well that's just great. Considering the fact that no one at Yahoo! even cares that this worm is affecting hundred, possibly thousands of your customers and messing up their accounts, your response to me gives no solace. I personally know of at least six people just from my buddy list that have been affected by this. Maybe you should look at past information about my account and you will see that the date of birth signed up with was 2/1/** and it was changed on August 29, 2005 to something else. I know you claim it's not possible but the worm that is going through messenger did it. If my credit card, bank account, etc. are in anyway harmed because of this worm that you are not taking care of, I will be sure to file a lawsuit against you. Have you taken a look at how many people have called in the last few days and for some odd reason their account has a wrong birthday on it? I have deleted all but one of my other Yahoo! accounts and I will never EVER use your services again. I think you are probably the worst company ever. After being a customer for six years I get treated like I am retarded by the customer service reps and told that "yes, basically you are screwed" (the customer service girl, Noor, actually said that to me.)"

As if I could actually get a lawsuit against Yahoo, but who knows. My friend KG has been effing around with them for over three months now, and they have given her no consolation at all. Fuck Yahoo.

Anyway. I feel like talking about something happy so I'm going to talk about SL. Yay, 64 days. I've never looked so forward to driving 17 hours than I do now. I can't wait. We are still talking every night, but the last few nights it hasn't been for really really long because all those 5 a.m. nights have started to catch up with me. We still talk about all kinds of things, and basically just get to know each other. It's very frustrating when people down me about it. I know it sounds weird to "fall in love" with someone over the phone, but it's possible. As long as you are being open and honest and being yourself, who cares whether you're talking in person or on the phone? Honestly, I think if SL and I met, there wouldn't be much talking going on... other than those few words you have to say ("Move your arm", "Turn over", "Watch your eye") while you're effing someone's brain out.

But what I really don't understand is how someone who has had long distance relationships, who is talking to someone who is halfway across the country and becoming good friends with them, can down me for the whole SL deal. Just because they don't exchange "I love yous" doesn't mean they are so much better off than SL and me. Just because they met once, a long time ago, certainly doesn't mean that they know each other better than SL and I do. I met Hulk Hogan once when I was five - does that mean I know him better than some fan of his that has never met him, but has read every single book, magazine, newspaper article, seen every movie (including "Mr. Mom"), taped every WWE/WWF/etc. show for the last 23 years featuring Hulk, and now is a devoted fan of "Hogan Knows Best" on VH1? Seriously. This is fucked up. I know she's gonna read this and probably be a little upset, but it's true. I can't understand why she keeps downing me about the whole thing. She's supposed to be my very good best friend and I feel like she doesn't even support me or feel happy for me. I know she cares about me and doesn't want to see me get hurt, but if talking to SL makes me happy, she should be satisfied with that.

Okay, I'm done.

WORMS

Yahoo! Messenger has been infiltrated by a "Yahoo-specific" worm. If you receive a link from someone on your list asking to go to either Yahoo! Photos or Yahoo! Hot Jobs and you did not ask for this link, do not log in! The worm will get into the actual script for your account and change information customer service uses to verify that you are who you are. I tried logging in this morning, and after fighting with three retards at Yahoo who insisted that you cannot change your birthdate manually, I talked to SL and he figured out it must be a worm. The worm changes the date of birth, the only thing Yahoo! can use to verify your identity.

If anyone used the following screen names for me, please comment and I will IM you from the new one:

• rock_kowgurl
• super_freaky_jello
• taffyodonnell
• chunky_monkey_honey
• lameassnamelass
• denklac_tarprlice
• kitty_wan_kenobe

Don't log in to any links you've rec'd from me thru IM on Yahoo! either, unless we actually had a conversation about it.

Spitefulness is a virtue.

My horoscope for today:
This person really puts you in a creative mode. That's how you know when someone's got your heart: something in what they say and do unlocks all kinds of terrific thoughts.

Ok well the weekend was wonderful, I think from Friday night until this morning I spent a total of 18 hours on the phone with SL. Greatness. I'm so excited for my trip, I can't wait to get out of this motherfucking city. I hate taking only two vacations a year because it usually ends up that I feel like this and by the time I'm on my vacation, I'm so wound tight that I barely enjoy it because it takes me that long to relax. Then, it's back to work and I still hate this motherfucking city.

When I went to Salem in April, I was hanging out in a bar and dude came up to me and we were talking. Apparently he's the President of Salem Five, a bank, and he wanted to hire me. I was like, "Dude, you don't even have my resume!" (Albeit in a more professional way) and he said that he could tell I knew what I was talking about and it's great to find someone who has been doing this for five years and blah blah blah. That was a Thursday and he wanted me to start Monday. I was like, "Nope, sorry. I cannot just up and randomly move to Salem, Mass." Then he asked, "Where are you from again?" and I reminded him Columbus, and he was like, "Oh I thought you said something else" but still wondered why I couldn't move from Ohio to Mass in a weekend. Retard.

My friend VM told me that if I'm ever in Florida or feel like moving there, I have a job waiting for me. I'm not sure if this is true or not, but who knows. I briefly considered it, but I don't think I would like working for VM, I wouldn't want to leave the job I have now because I LOVE IT!!!!! and also SL is moving back to Jersey in about four months, so that would put us almost in the same situation as we are now. It's 1,149.70 from here to Florida where he lives, but it's only 508.92 from Ohio to New Jersey where SL would be. That's 18 hours versus 8 hours. I think we know what the decision is. Plus I couldn't move to Florida just to be with SL, although I want to, because I don't know him in person and who knows. I hope for the best but you never know, and I have to be realistic about this crap.

Anyway. I digress.

Yesterday I went to J&J's for dinner. GMc was there but he was sleeping the whole time because he has been working this midnight to eight a.m. shift lately. We had meatloaf and corn and potatoes and pudding and brownies and it was great. J1 is a good cook. We also watched Spanglish, which was pretty good. I need to brush up on my spanish though. I think I'm going to find out which library I owe the least amount of money to and pay my fine and get some "Learn Spanish the Easy Way!" cd's/tapes and see what happens. I'm tired of being a stupid American who can only speak one language. Plus if I know my spanish well I can converse with IG and SL en espanol and no one around us will understand. Hahahaha.

Again, I digress.

I went to karaoke, and it was pretty fun. Hung out with SS and D*Martin and Mel. Tomcat, Big J, Moose, and other folks wandered in and out randomly throughout the evening. Talked to NB a few times, on the phone and thru txt msg. I couldn't figure out why he just started randomly calling me a lot lately, and then I found out - he's got a new schedule and it's normal - working early morning until evening, so it's more like a regular schedule. Crazy. I am a little miffed that he calls me now, since the last time I saw him he was like "Wanna fuck?" and I couldn't because my Aunt Flow was in town, and so he's like "Well I'll go fuck that chick" and completely ignored me after that. I was like whatthefuckever. So that brings me to the event of the evening. I'm fucking tired of getting treated like ass by random men. D*Martin has been trying to get with me lately, and I pretty much just ignore it. I mean, I will flirt a little bit but nothing major, not even enough so that someone could say I'm "leading him on." Well last night we were just chilling and having a great ol' time, and I'm like "well I'm heading out" and he's like "Okay we'll fuck next time I see you" and I'm like "No, I don't want to fuck you" and so he gets pissy and tells me that I have been leading him on. And I'm like whatever dude, fine. So then he starts touching fucking PULA (!) and they kiss. I'm like "I cannot believe you seriously just frenched that whale." and he's like "Well what are you gonna do about it?" and I say "nothing" because I don't really care but I mean come on it's fucking PULA (!) - she's so huge and manly. I was rejected somehow by him after I had already done the rejecting, and I think that's what hurt my feelings. Jclyn's brother was there and he randomly bought me a beer... not sure why... and he kept winking at me and shit like that... that was the weirdest thing ever... Then he asked me for a ride home and I told him sure but I was leaving right then (I was so pissed at D*Martin!) and he was like "No, no wait!" But I didn't and left him there. I will buy him a beer and apologize the next time I see him. I just had to get home.

I talked to SL when I got home and I yelled a lot and I was very angry because then I started remembering every guy who ever fucked me over (and that list is long!) Then my kittens pissed me off. Mickey had some shit on his foot and he was walking all over me and I'm like "jesus christ Mickey!" and I was in the bathroom on the phone angry and trying to hold this squirming kitten down while I pulled shit off his paw and then HE SCRATCHED MY FACE. That motherfucker. Oh, poor SL having to listen to my angry ass, I feel so bad for being so angry and having him be my ventee. However, he did stop me at one point, and he said, "Who actually matters?" and of course the answer was him. He's like "you know, I'm the only opinion you should care about - fuck all those other guys" (well not exactly those words.) I almost cried. SL listened to me sing two songs at karaoke last night, D*Martin held the phone once and Moose held the phone the other time. It was terribly cute.

Random thought: Find a synonym for the word "random".

I'm witty and clever and quirky.

Countdown to SL: 70 days

Talking to him right now so this won't be a long post.

The last few days have been just wonderful, flying by in a blur of love and beer and karaoke. I've been hit up for about five booty calls and I have turned every single one of them down. I really wanted to fuck D*Martin, but since I am loving SL right now, that would be bad. Even though SL and I aren't actually offcially dating or anything, I can't even really think about another dude. Let's think back to fucking GMc's friend, SC. OH GOD KELLY OH GOD OH KELLY OH GOD.

GG and I went to karaoke on Tuesday night and it was pretty fucking boring. Karaoke just isn't the same when it's not at Eldo's. The Hot Spot is pretty cool and the chick bartender is really nice and everything but it's just not the same kind of crowd. The people aren't unfriendly, but they aren't friendly either. Oh well. Zara is cool.

Wednesday I met up with my friend KP who I haven't seen in almost a year. We send emails back and forth everyday and she lives right by Zuey's and works on the next street down from my work but we just never get a chance to hang out. Well we sure hung out on Wedensday! Shit I was trashed. Talked to SL until 5 a.m. We exchanged "I love yous" but only after I passed during phone sex. Wednesday was the moste wonderful night I've had in a really long time.

Thursday I went to karaoke and it was also boring. I rocked out though, and flitted about like the fucking social butterfly that I am. I can't wait until I meet the right person to clip my wings, I tell you what. I'm always worn out by the end of the night from scampering from one end of the bar to the other and singing in between. Bah. Anyway, a good friend of mine did something that I highly disapprove of and I don't know what to say about it. I don't think this person knows I know but I do and I'm not gonna say anything because it's not my place but oh well. I still don't like it. J1 and PP were there, as were Poke and all his friends. D*Martin was talking to me and I could see Poke getting pissed but oh well, fuck him. He can go suck an egg. I did not fuck D*Martin last night, as a matter of fact I snuck out while he was singing his last song and called SL. I headed to Zuey's where I had KL talk to SL (that was so cute!) and we watched the hurricane on TV. Some ass named Dennis was in there and I didn't get good vibes from him at all. I didn't want to leave KL alone there that late and I was going to stay, but BR came in so that was great. I went home and this whole time I was talking to SL. Now, since I love him and I care about him I'm not going to be plastering our "love life" all over this thing, but I have to say, Thursday night, if someone was paying me $4.99/minute to listen, I would be rich today.

Today was blah. Worked then saw my shrink then went back to work to redo the filing cabinets. Met up with JAFH at Max and Erma's for dindin and it was okay. We came back and watched "Team America: World Police" and it is probably the worst movie ever. I slept through all but about twenty minutes of it. Then I had to yak and I think it was because of the chicken salad I had for dinner, but oh well. You'll have that when mayo is involved. Now I have wine chilling in the freezer so I gotta go.

Late.

I hate Mexicans.

Countdown to SL: 71 days

First of all, I'd like to point out that I'm not actually a racist, I just hate this one certain company that is based in Chicago and happens to employ a bunch of lazy good for nothing bitch ass Mexican chicks. The rest of the Mexicans in the world are pretty much okay.

SL told me he loved me last night. That was great.

I'm too angry to post much, maybe I'll do more later.

How to learn Italian in three easy steps, part two...

The weekend was pretty shitty. I did absolutely nothing on Friday, except for when I talked to SL. We were on the phone til seven a.m. Then Saturday, I did even more of nothing, except I did go to Wendy's to get dinner, and then I talked to Sl until 6:30 a.m. We need to learn to start our conversations earlier in the night...
Last night I went to Eldo's for karaoke, and it was just fine. D*Martin and his friend Mel were there, as well as Tomcat for a moment, Moose, Billy the BDI, SS, Jms, and a few others. Crash and Cat broke up at some point between last Sunday and yesterday, but he was still there. She was singing a bunch of love songs, the "I will change" kind, and I thought it was funny. He and I actually talked for a while, and he's a lot more intelligent than he seems/makes himself out to be. People have always told me this, but I never believed them because the memories I have of Crash involve him being incredibly trashed and falling over a lot, and he was never the one to form complete sentences... but oh well. He looked good and seemed a bit happier so I suppose that's a good thing. I mostly sat with SS/Jms/Billy/Moose, but I flitted around a bit and talked to D*Martin a lot. We were flirting a little, and I thought that was funny since everything that went down with Poke. D*Martin was like, "You really shoulda punched him" and he got pissed when he found out that Poke called me a cunt. I found out that Poke went home with the fat chick and I laughed but was grossed out because 1) She had indicated that she thought he was "nasty" (her word) and 2) She was nasty. I asked D*Martin if we were friends, and he said yes. He was touching me a lot, which was fine, and then by the end of the night he wanted to fuck. I was like, "I don't know, that whole thing went on with Poke, it might be weird." But really I wanted to because I need a piece so bad, however, there is the whole SL thing and with what happened with SC last Sunday... bah. Needless to say nothing happened.
Jms/SS invited me over to their house after karaoke, and I stopped by. Jms had indicated wanted something to "go on" if you get my drift, but I was like, "Listen, you guys are married and she's pregnant. I don't do that." I mean they are both good looking and so on, but I just can't get it on with a 28 year old pregnant chick and her 24 year old gothic husband. Yeah. I called SL as I was pulling out of the parking lot, and we ended up talking til about 4 a.m. He's too sweet.

So this SL thing... for fear of him reading this, which he might, I'm gonna write shit anyway because I'm going nuts. I am totally weirded out by this whole thing - not weirded out like "Oh my god, I'm in love with a vampire" or something, it's just that it's such a weird thing for me to do. Sure, I will fuck whatever dick comes strolling a long, but when it comes to matters of the heart, I'm more picky. I would never pick someone who is 1,149.7 miles away. I would never scrimp and save just to be able to afford to drive to Florida to meet someone I have only talked to on the phone. But I am. I suppose I didn't really "pick" SL so to speak, we just kind of came together via GG's suggestion, but who knew this would happen? I just can't believe I have feelings like this, fully knowing that I will only get to see SL every few months. I wonder what the future is supposed to hold for a relationship like this? I guess that if he ends up going to Jersey for the Army, we would be closer, but still... eventually I guess if it worked out to us being really really serious, I would move to wherever he is stationed. That's a long way off from now, but I still wonder. Back to the present, it's awesome. We talk for hours, usually no less than five at a time, and he calls me at least 2-3 times a day. We talk about everything. We watch TV together, and make comments on Rachael Ray's silly horse teeth and the fact that she only thinks she can speak Italian. He laughs at me when I cry over really sad things like "The Notebook" and says it's great because I'm so girly. He tells me I'm beautiful - in English and in Italian. We've talked about meeting each other's family. He gets all hot and bothered by the thought of me, and even tells me that he dreams of me. I really am planning on going down there in November, as long as I can save up the money and get the time off. I'm not saying I'm in love with this guy, that would be ridiculous. I can't be in love with someone I have never met in person... can I? This is difficult.

I'm Terrified Of Their Knowledge...

You know you're from Ohio when...

You don't think of Florida first when someone mentions Miami.

You snicker when someone's from Tiffin, because you think of the State Hospital.

You think Pro football teams are supposed to wear orange!

You've heard of 3.2% beer.

Schools close for the state basketball tournament.

You're proud of your state fair, but would rather go to Cedar Point.

You live less than 30 miles from some college or university.

You know what a buckeye really is, and have a recipe for candy ones.

"Toward the lake" means "north" and "toward the river" means "south."

You've heard of the Great Nickel Beer Night Riot.

You know if other Ohioians are from southern or northern Ohio as soon as they open their mouths.

You root for a college team though you've never taken a class there.

You can spell words like Cuyahoga, Olentangy, Bellefontaine, and Tuscarawas

You always visit more than two amusement parks in one summer.

You know that Serpent Mounds were not made by snakes.

You know what game they're playing when the Mud Hens take on the Clippers.

"Vacation" means spending a day at Cedar Point or King's Island.

Down south to you means Kentucky.

You thought that the Michael Stanley Band was the most popular band in the country.

How Do They Know This About Me?

You know you're from Cleveland when...

• Your idea of fine cuisine includes keilbasa and Stroh's beer
• You think the Antichrist walks among us and moved to Baltimore in 1995
• You refer to Pittsburgh as a Third World nation
• You have to look at a map before you realize Cincinnati is NOT in Kentucky
• You think political correctness involves using the term "certain ethnic" when telling a joke
• You believe plastic lawn flamingos are essential in any landscaping project
• Your second car is completely dissolved by salt by the time April rolls around
• The phrase "lake effect" strikes terror in your heart
• You actually remember when Dennis Kucinich was mayor
• You see nothing wrong with wearing white sox with black shoes, even when wearing a tux
• Party music involves an accordion
• You always knew you lived in the Rock n Roll Capital of the World
• You know more about Frankie Yankovic than Weird Al Yankovic
• Tourists ask you what time the river catches fire
• You believe the Second Coming meant the Browns returning in 1999
• You don't really know any homosexuals, you just know that there are a lot of them in Lakewood.
• You know you don't really have an accent, the rest of the world does.
• You hear there are always famous people in town, but you have never seen one.
• You hate country music, don't know anyone that does like country music, and yet WGAR just won the country music station of the year.
• You take credit for Cedar Point even though it is 2 hours away.
• You honestly believe that Cleveland is the best city in the world.
• The Tri-C jingle "students for life" scares the hell out of you.
• You take Dead Man's Curve at 60 mph holding your breath.
• You know about the Eastside/Westside rivalry, but don't really understand it.
• "Good Morning from the Buzzard Morning Zoo" is a jingle you'll never forget.
• Your neighborhood schools went without sports because all the senior citizens refused to pass the levies.
• You actually know how to pronounce Cuyahoga.
• You can't tell Brook Park, Brooklyn, or Old Brooklyn apart.
• You see Christmas lights still up in July.
• You love BW-3, but have no clue what the heck weck is.
• You find yourself singing "Garfield 1-2323" in the shower.
• You're still dumbfounded by the Leaping Fountain in Tower City.
• You have never ridden in a taxi.
• You wear shorts the first day of the year it isn't below 30 and snowing, just because you can.
• You have gotten 3 speeding tickets, and they are all from the mile long stretch of a suburb named Linndale.
• You have no idea how exactly to get to the Flats, you just kind of end up on a bank and start partying.
• You really don't know what the Warehouse District is, you just know that it's a great place to party.
• You know who the Jake really is
• You hate Baltimore and you have never been there.
• St. Patty's Day is your number one holiday, and you aren't Irish.
• You're still relishing 1987 when we ALMOST made it to the Super Bowl.
• You counted down with the monument in Tower City to the exact second in 1999 when the Browns came back.
• You heard Bill Clinton and Drew Carey love Parma Pierogies, but you have yet to ever eat there.
• You know Tower City isn't a city at all.
• You're Polish.
• Stories of Little Italy still send chills down your spine.
• At least half of your wardrobe is Tribe apparel.

Get Your Own "You Know You're From" Meme Here

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Update

Just wanted to let you all know that I updated my photo album! There are new pics of me at the beginning and a ton of pics of my new kittens on the last few pages.

Click here to see the newest pics!

Ma vie est pleine du drame, mon drame est pleine de la vie.

*sigh*

I wish I could get away from it all for just one minute. I wish I had $198 to fly to Florida and visit with SL for a few days and just escape all this bullshit. This post will be divided by person, that's how dramatic my night was last night.

K the bartender
I pull into Zuey's parking lot and he is outside on his cell. He hugs me and kisses me on the lips and I go inside. He and SE play ping pong for awhile, then we are sitting at the bar and watching football and K and I talk a bit. He has me show the owner of Zuey's my new hoops. When I am at Eldo's, K and SE show up. I ask K if he is on my side, will he have my back if I get in a fight and he says yes. So Poke and I get into it and K is watching the whole time and making sure I am okay. I go outside to smoke and K yells for me to come back in so I do. K and SE are hugging me and stuff and K is telling me his wonderful words of wisdom or love or whatever: "Kelly, I love you. You know why? Because you're awesome. You're not afraid to tell it how it is, for a minute there you ran your mouth too much but you stopped and that's good. I think you're an awesome person and someone is going to come along that you actually deserve. Don't bother with these losers. You're better than them, don't waste your time." and so on. I went back to Zuey's and as I was leaving there, K and SE came in and we talked some more. I kissed K a total of five times this night.

SE
At Zuey's, he actually sat next to me after he and K were done playing ping pong. We talked, which was a little weird because usually he doesn't just sit and talk to me when we're out. When we're alone together we talk just fine, but not usually at the bar. SE and I read the Playboy magazine and laughed at the shitty comics and the funny comics. He said he will teach me to drive stick shift when he gets the new clutch in his truck. At Eldo's, he watched me when I was fighting with Poke and when I came back from outside after lighting my cigarette he was hugging me and asked me if I needed him to beat Poke up. I told him no, it wasn't worth his time. I kissed him before I left to go back to Zuey's. When he got to Zuey's, he bought me a beer and we talked about UFC a little. Then I was leaving Zuey's and went over to give him a hug. He asked me why I was having such a bad time at Eldo's with Poke, and I sort of half explained the situation by simply saying, "I am tired of guys treating me like shit and leading me on." Of course I was talking about Poke but SE was like, "You're not talking about me, are you?" and I said no, even though sometimes it feels like that is what he is doing. He told me he was sorry for what had happened a few weeks ago, and for what happened last Thursday and he wants to maybe get a little more serious with me. I told him that I appreciated it, but I wasn't sure, and then he asked if he could come home with me. I politely declined by saying, "Maybe in five days." and he got the hint. I kissed SE four times this night.

Moose
It was Moose's happy birthday so I bought him a diet coke in a fancy glass. He had my back when Poke and I were fighting, and he even stood right behind Poke looking all intimidating and stuff. I don't know if that was his intention, but he did. Moose is a good protector. Even when I called him to see if he was at Eldo's, he called me back after we hung up to warn me that Poke was there. Hahaha. I love Moose.

Chris, Poke's Master
Poke is Chris's bitch. This is the dude that Poke asked approval from to date me instead of Kaitlyn. He was angry with Poke for treating me like shit, and said that they all had my back. He wanted me to punch him in the face. I told him I wasn't that kind of girl. We talked a bit, well I yelled, and I told him that I knew all about his dreams to move to Amsterdam and a whole bunch of other shit like his five illegitimate children and everything. He was surprised to hear that I knew that shit, but then when I told him that Poke had told me that I might be "The One" he was like, "wow." Yep. He hugged me when I was leaving, and was standing right by me when I kicked Poke in the shin.

Ashley, Chris's girlfriend
Very nice girl. Apologized profusely for Poke's bad behavior. Told me that when she found out that Poke was going to be dating me she was happy because I seemed really fun and much better than Kaitlyn. She was disappointed in the outcome, but said whenever they were there I was more than welcome to hang out with them. She has pretty hair. She also supported the notion to punch Poke in the face.

D*Martin
Definitely supported punching Poke in the face. Helped me yell at him too. That was pretty cool. He was like, "I have been friends with Poke for over ten years and he's just a fucking pussy. You are an awesome girl and I think you need to put him in his place. Lay him out. I was seriously nose to nose with Poke and D*Martin is next us like, "Yeah Kelly, you go! Tell Poke who's boss!" Haha. Hugged me when I was leaving. I kissed D*Martin twice this night.

Cameron, Poke's brother
Said the same thing as Ashley, almost exactly. He said he was sorry for his brother's behavior and he was sad that we wouldn't all be hanging out together. He even told me that for the short time Poke and I hung out, he could see that Poke was happier. He wasn't sure what had happened and would make sure to beat up on him for me because he is the brother and brothers can do that.

Poke
Well it's not like I have to explain much because from reading everyone else's descriptions you can probably figure out what happened. I walked in and I was talking to his friends. Then it was my turn to sing. While I was singing, he came up and touched me and ended up almost knocking me over and that was what set it all off. I walked over to him and I was like, "Listen motherfucker, what the fuck? You cheat on me, ask me if I mind, act like a fucking jerkoff and then randomly show up in my bar and touch me. You motherfucker if you fucking think that you can just come in here like nothing ever happened you have another fucking thing coming to you." And he starts yelling back. "Fuck you bitch, I can go where I want, you go away and leave my friends alone. I never cheated on you, we were never dating, you're a fucking psycho. I never said I cared about you, and I never fucking cheated on you. Get the fuck away from me." So I say, "You listen to me you dispicable motherfucking child. Fuck you. I've been coming to this bar for three years and everyone in here is on my side and it'd probably be a good fucking idea if you never showed your face in here again. I can go where the fuck I want to and you're not going to stop me. You were the one who left your fucking girlfriend for ME and two days later you call me up to tell me that your ex showed up at your work, seduced you, and you went down on her, and did I mind? Did I mind? DID I MIND? Of course I fucking mind you're supposed to be with me! Your friends all think you're an asshole for treating me like shit and they will back me up on that! {At this point I look at D*Martin and he says, "yeah, she's right."} So fuck you motherfucker. You have no respect for anyone and you need to step up and act like a man instead of a fucking loser. You're a fucking child." and I walk away. I'm over on the other side of the bar when he comes out of the bathroom. He looks at me and mumbles, "Cunt" under his breath, so I kicked him in the shin. Chris and D*Martin happened to come over at that moment and they're like "Dude, stop harassing her just go away." So I actually walk away before he does and as I'm leaving I bump into Cameron and hug him and Poke yells out, "Get off my brother, bitch!" As if that will have some effect on me. I was PISSED.

Jerry
Jerry showed up randomly to Zuey's last night and after I got off the phone with SL and Jerry remarked that I had probably said "fuck" about 44 times in a matter of 3 minutes, he asked me why I was so happy. He knew I was pissed off, obviously, but he said that I seemed happy. I told him about SL and he was like, "That is awesome. I can already tell you guys are going to be together for a long time." and I'm like woah because I've never even met SL and I didn't even hardly tell Jerry anything about him. Jerry asked SL's last name, and I told him, and he said that "KL" sounds better than "KK" or "KA"... yeah. I almost cried.

SL
SL listened to me bitch and complain about Poke for about 20 minutes before I finally hung up. He is just so awesome. He let me go on and on and on and on and didn't hardly say anything because he knew I just had to get it out. When I got home and called him, we talked a little bit more about that because I was still a little bit angry but I had calmed down a lot. I told him about what Jerry said and he seemed to think it was just swell. We talked about whatever it is that we're doing, and we tried to come up with ways to get together. It only costs $198 to fly from West Palm Beach to Columbus on August 26th and fly back on September 4th. But SL wants me to come down there. The only problem with that is that I only have four vacation days left this year, and I wouldn't be able to stay in Florida for very long. I could go there for like, Thursday through Tuesday, and that would pretty much suck. We'll figure something out, I'm sure of it. It's just a matter of when. *sigh* But anyway, SL made me feel just the most wonderful he ever has last night, it was kinda funny though, but he was telling me that every time he thinks about me or talks to me he gets all hot and bothered (if you know what I mean.) I was like, "Even when I'm piss-ass drunk and yelling and saying all sorts of bad words and being so angry?" and he said yes, when I'm like that he remembers how I am normally and just lets it pass. I was thrilled.

Writing this post has literally exhausted me.

Care for a little Necrophilia?

I have three things to discuss in this post.
But first, click here to tell me whether I'm hot or not.

1) Why is it that people who are trying to compliment me say things like, "Oh, cute hair" or "Your skin looks really good"? My hair usually looks like a lion's mane, or a librarian's pulled back in a claw. It's rarely cute, and most people know this. And the skin thing, I don't even know what to say about that one - my skin rarely looks good. Even though I'm almost 24 years old, I still get zits and stuff, and I almost NEVER wear makeup to cover them. Nine out of ten times I get this compliment, I am not wearing makeup. So, my question is, are they simply saying it to be nice, or do I really do a shitty job with my makeup?

2) KL is the best bartender in the world.

3) There was something unidentifiable and sticky on the floor of the girl's bathroom last night at Zuey's. It was one of a few things, either water with dirt and bar floor ickiness, pee, or yak. Very disturbing. The bathroom at Zuey's is really ugly but it's always clean. I was peeved.

Last night and the night before I fell asleep on the phone with SL. I feel really bad for it. I think I will send him another silly e-card. I also had a dream about GMc last night.

Here it is:
GMc, J1 and I lived in GMc's house but his house was on a different street and in Gahanna. GMc also ran a swimming pool out of his backyard (this included a big pool 3ft to 10 ft deep, a diving pool [15 ft deep], a kiddie pool [1ft deep] and a hot tub that seated 12 - I know all this because I lived rent free for keeping up the signs that said how deep the pool was and cooking 4 nights a week.) I was outside doing my job and taking a little dip, and J1 was making dinner inside, and he was just wandering around back and forth between us waiting for food to be done. The house was always filled with people, and on this particular day some chick I went to High School with showed up and told me that my mom was looking for me and wanted me to come home. I told her to tell my mom that I was home, and if my mom had a problem she could come see me. Well this girl (her name is Marcia [Mar-see-ya]) was like, "Your mom is outside go talk to her." So GMc and I went out to talk to my mom because apparently she was under the impression that he was running a cult here. He finally convinced her that no, it was just a pool/house, and everything was as un-cult as it could be. She left. Then some guy in a truck pulled up, he was very rednecky and his woman was too but at least she was hot in a fake kind of way (I should say hot for a redneck.) He said his name but I didn't catch it, and GMc was like, "Oh the guy who wants to buy the house." And I was shocked but okay. So this guy starts yelling at GMc right off the bat, saying that he lied to him on the phone about the shape of the house and the color of the siding, and GMc kept trying to tell him that he had told him on the phone that he couldn't properly describe the house so dude should come out and see it. The guy was like, "Well I have a check made out to you for $1.3 million and I'm not going to give it to you! You lied!" and got back into his truck. So I, being the valiant friend, started to take up for GMc and remind this guy that normally one will LOOK at a house before they buy it and that was precisely what he was doing, and GMc had done nothing wrong. So the guy smacks me across the face. I climb up on his running boards and I'm like beating this guy through his window, all the while yelling things like "shop and compare before you buy!" and crap like that. His woman is sitting there and he's telling her to beat me up because he can't hit a girl. This chick reaches out to smack me and I flick her big blonde hair and she falls out the window and goes tumbling down the street. Dude finally gives up, pushes me out the window, and drives away. GMc looks at me and says, "Well I didn't really want to sell it anyway." and then we are walking into the house when I wake up.

Nope, weet ik werkelijk het niet hoe te om al deze verschillende talen te spreken.

Sunday GG came over and we did not go swimming because it was closed when we got there. Instead, we went home and attempted to watch a movie, but all the ones on were shitty, except this vampire movie that looked great from the preview but actually sucked once we put it on. So, we talked while I made lasagne and it was good-dih. Once the lasagne was finally done, we ate in the kitchen while listening to Mo'Nique's FAT Chance, a beauty pageant to crown Miss F.A.T. (Fabulous And Thick.) It was pretty interesting, I had seen the end already, and GG seemed to like it as well. We watched the Simpsons after that, and then I took her home.

SC (GMc's friend, remember, the rolling?) had called me Sunday afternoon and asked me to come to karaoke at this place called Leap-n-Lizards in Hilliard. After I dropped GG off I headed out there because I wanted to see SC but also J&J and GMc were going to be there. The place was really cute (for a bar) and the people were really REALLY nice. Also, the rotation was super short. I think there were only about seven or eight singers total. It was cool too because the people there really appreciate a good singer. There was one boy, Jeffrey, and he kept telling everyone who walked in how great I was. It was pretty cool. GMc and J&J never showed.

SC and I decided it would be a good idea, after he had kissed me a bunch of times, to go home together. I wanted to stop by Eldorado's though, so I had him follow me home and then we headed to the bar. Everyone there was surprised to see him. He used to go there a lot but not anymore. D*Martin was there, and he called me over like, "What the fuck happened to you and Poke?" and I told him that his guess was as good as mine because Poke had just called me up that one day and told me he cheated on me. D*Martin said that he couldn't believe it when he found out but he didn't know that Poke had left me. Everyone apparently had been told that I left him. Whatever. D*Martin said Poke still talks about me and stuff and that I should go to Spoonz and surprise him. I felt that would be a bad idea since I am still a bit upset with Poke when I think about him, and seeing him would probably result in someone yelling (me) and someone getting smacked (him.) That would be bad. D*Martin said he was sorry things worked out like that because he liked hanging out with me, and he thought that Poke was really into me too. Supposedly there was talk of me being "The One"... whatever.

SC and I finally went home and yes, we effed. It was pretty good, but in the back of my mind after every word he spoke I kept thinking about what GMc told me once about SC and women, and how he will live in the moment and loves the moment right then and there and will say all sorts of wonderful things, only to rescind on them the next day or a few days later. The best part was when he was literally screaming my name at the top of his lungs, but it almost made me laugh, even though it was kinda hot. Then, I had this problem.

Well now I suppose would be a good time to talk about SL, considering I have barely mentioned him but I talk to him every day on the phone and he's become a part of my life. GG introduced us, and we talked on the phone for awhile. He lives out of state, waaaaaay out of state, so we've never met. Not one single day has gone by in the last ten days that we haven't talked on the phone. I really like him and we get along superbly. We're not dating or anything, that would be effing lame to start a relationship with someone you've never even met in person. I wouldn't mind doing the long distance thing, once stuff evens out I could afford to fly down there, and if he gets onto the Army base in New Jersey (about 4-6 mos. from now) he would be close to here and could fly here occasionally. We've talked about how to do this and how to get to meet each other, and I don't think he's just leading me on because he doesn't change his story or what he wants. He calls me everyday, sends me text messages, it's all very great. I just feel kinda dumb because I have these happy feelings for this guy, and I've never met him. But he's the first person I've felt like this about in a long time... *sigh* How difficult. Back to the SC story.

While we were getting it on, SL kept flashing through my mind. That was weird. I wasn't purposely thinking of him, it just kept happening. I actually think there is a chance that I won't be able to have sex with random dudes until I meet SL. What an interesting thing to happen to me... Can you believe it?

Today I am getting two baby boy kittens from the woman who owns Eldo's. They are yellow and white and I am going to name them Fox and Mickey. Yep.

Some like it hot, some like it cold.

Not sure what the title of this post is all about, but whatever.

So, the services and stuff went alright for Uncle Ronnie. I drove up to Cleveland on Friday morning. I had thought the stuff started on Thursday, but I was wrong. Anyway, the showing was from two til eight, but family goes first so we got to the funeral home around one fifteen. I couldn't even look at Uncle Ronnie in the casket becaue it looked nothing like him. He had always been a big guy, not huge, but you know, 270 lbs, 6'3", just big. By the time he died he only weighed a little over 100 lbs. It was awful. He looked good, considering the cancer had literally beat him to death, but still. We stayed at the funeral home from one fifteen until about nine. It was a really long day, and I saw a lot of people I haven't seen in almost twenty years, like some of my dad's/uncles' cousins, and my Aunt Sue's family. A lot of the people there had never even met my little brother in person, only seen pictures. I really think that 90% of the family there had seen me last when I was about five... that would be 18 years ago. It was a blah day, obviously, and the phrases I kept hearing the most were:

"Fifty-five, too young..."
"He was a good friend, we lost someone great..."
"Wow! I can't believe how big you are!" (that was to me and Scotty)
"My, how time flies..."

It got semi-irritating after awhile, but I put on a good face and I didn't cry all day long. After that we went to Applebee's and ate some light dinner. It was pretty cool, me and mom and dad and Scotty just chilling. It's so much better to be the four of us than if we take Gramma P. because all she does is bitch about everything. But I digress. When we got back to the hotel, I called SL and we talked for awhile before I finally had to go to sleep around midnight. Wake up time for Saturday morning was seven fifteen and I needed my sleep.

Saturday was a whole other kind of emotional situation. We got to the funeral home around nine fifteen so that everyone who was going to be in the funeral procession could be there for the quick prayer and then line up to drive to the church (which, incidentally, was across the street and down one block.) I cried at the funeral home because I was sad, but mostly because it was the very last time I will ever see Uncle Ronnie again and he just didn't look like himself. When my Gramma K. died, she looked like herself, and it was okay. I cried and I was sad, but she had been sick for over fifteen years, paralyzed and everything, so it was expected, not to mention that she was almost ninety years old. It was much easier to deal with. But Uncle Ronnie, at fifty-five, was too young like everyone said, he went so quickly, and he didn't even look like the Uncle Ronnie I picture in my head when I think about him. That was really hard to deal with, it was almost like closing the casket on a complete stranger that everyone claimed was Uncle Ronnie. SK and I got to ride in the limo to the church, and when we got there I had to walk with Aunt Sue and her nephew (on her side, not our side) right in the front directly behind the casket. I had my dad's handkerchief tucked into my skirt. I helped them unfold the pall and place it over the casket after the priest blessed it with holy water, and then we sat down in the pew and mass started. Mass was alright, about as exciting as a Catholic Funeral mass can be. Uncle Bob and Sr. Patricia read the readings, and my Aunt Sue's niece Kristin read the litany (I think that's what its called.) Aunt Sue's sisters and their husbands took up the gifts. I cried the whole time, especially when the Fr. Steve gave his sermon and talked about all the great things Uncle Ronnie did for the church and for the health center where he worked and everything else. I wish I could have known about all this stuff when he was living. I looked around the church at one point and there were about 150 people there. I couldn't believe it. Uncle Ronnie really was a popular and loved guy. We left the church and rode to the cemetary then. He's buried at Holy Cross, which was a little odd to me because the rest of my family (my dad's side) is buried at Calvary. I guess they picked out this spot like two years ago though, and a few of my dad's and my mom's family members are buried there, but not all. There are two plots left at Calvary in the K. family burial lot, and I already claimed one of them. Just so you all know.
Not all the people from the church came to the cemetary, but a lot of folks did. The priest said a nice prayer and Sr. Patricia read a nice thing, and then we placed flowers on top of the casket. SK was the first one to put a rose on. Seeing him all day long, being a pall bearer at age sixteen and just acting like a man was strange to me and it made me cry that much more. Damn. After the cemetary it was back to the funeral home for lunch, and it was pretty good. Talked to some more people, but no one I hadn't already talked to either Friday or earlier that day. I was very frustrated because I hadn't smoked but two cigarettes all day. My Gramma P. was being very difficult, more so than usual. She has ZERO tact and anymore she has the innate ability to say the COMPLETELY wrong thing at the wrong time. All she talked about all day was death - how she was the last of ten children, how her husband died, etc. etc. etc. I almost knocked her over on purpose at one point because she was hanging on my arm and just kept telling me that all cancers come from smoking and that's probably why my Uncle Ronnie died. EVEN THOUGH, he quit smoking in 1980 and just got stomach and liver cancer, not lung cancer. Sheesh.
Anyway, after the luncheon we went back to Aunt Sue's house so the women could divide up all the leftovers from the mass amount of food that had been made. I ended up with four stuffed cabbages, yay! My favorite. SK and I drove home around four, and got into Columbus around six. Took me longer to drive home than usual because I was being very careful with SK in the car. Didn't want two tragedies in one week.

Hung out with GG at Zuey's later on, but it was incredibly boring. NB came in but for a certain reason he was more interested in another girl than me, and that kinda irritated me. Eminem called about seven times, and I told him there was no way in hell I was driving to Delaware to see him because I had already driven from Cleveland to Columbus today and I just wasn't in the mood or the mental state to be doing more driving. I walked GG home, stopped at Speedway to get more beer, and then headed home. Talked to SL but he was incredibly drunk and at a party so I told him to call me when he got home. I fell asleep around two, and woke up at three fifteen when SL called me to tell me he was home. He didn't think I was going to answer but my phone had already rang from someone else calling so I was half awake. We ended up being on the phone until six thirty this morning. I woke up at one thirty this afternoon when GG called and now she's on her way over so we can go swimming. Yay.

I will write more about SL sometime soon. It's very interesting.

Obituary

My Dear Uncle Ronnie

K., RONALD JOSEPH beloved husband of Susan (nee B.), dear son of Edward and Eleanor (both deceased), caring brother of Edward, Jr. (deceased), Robert, and Dennis (Mary Alice), dear brother in law to Bob and Irene S., Don and Patricia F., Ralph (deceased) and Sherry B., dear uncle, great uncle, nephew, cousin and friend to many. Member St. Charles and St. Wenceslas Holy Name Societies. Services Saturday Aug. 13, 2005 at 9:30 A.M. at GOLUBSKI FUNERAL HOME 5986 RIDGE RD. and Mass of Christian Burial at St. Charles Borromeo Church at 10 A.M. Interment Holy Cross Cemetery. Friends and family received FRIDAY 2-8 P.M. In lieu of flowers please make memorials to Regina Health Center or Holy Family Home.

If I close my eyes forever, will it all remain unchanged...?

Well I haven't posted in a few days, but I've been very sleepy.

My uncle died last night at about five til midnight, finally. I know that probably sounds awful for me to say "finally" but he has been waiting to die for the last two weeks. About two and a half weeks ago he went into the hospital because the pain around his feeding tube had gotten unbearable, even with all the morphine and whatever else pain medication he was on. They found that there were tumours surrounding the tube inside his body and squeezing it shut, so the doctors took the tube out. Now, it was up to my uncle to try and find a way to eat or drink the regular way, by swallowing the food/drink, however, that was next to impossible because his esophagus had swollen so badly that the hole was the size of a grain of rice. In addition to all this, when the feeding tube was taken out it caused massive internal bleeding which they could not stop. So here is my uncle, sitting at home, starving to death and bleeding to death for two weeks until he finally died last night. I'm upset that I'm not more upset, but I'm quite angry and also I was prepared for him to die. Still not happy.

Other than that, pretty much nothing is going on. I think I'm starting to have too much feelings for SL, but I'll deal with it. He seems to like me back, hell, we spent five and a half hours on the phone Monday night. Damn distance. I really have nothing else to talk about, it all seems fairly unimportant today.

My Mother Loves Me

This post has nothing to do with my mother. Ha- tricked you.

Saturday night I spent drinking beer and watching COPS and then I just fucked around on the internet for awhile. GG had her friend SL instant message me at some point and we started chatting. He is super wonderful. Eventually he gave me his number and I called him, and we talked for about two hours. Great stuff, I couldn't stop laughing. Too bad he lives in Florida!

The Eminem called me on Saturday night too, he wanted me to go out to Kettering to see him. I said yes I would go, but then I called SL so I never went. Eminem called me about 13 times until finally I told him at 3am that I wasn't coming. Serves him right for calling me fat.

Sunday I went to the pool and laid out to get some sun. I didn't feel actually like swimming, just like laying out, but I did take a quick dip to do 10 laps. That was alright. I went to Eldo's around nine because I was just so fucking bored. Eldo's was okay, pretty boring until GG got there. RJ showed up and sat with us, that was really cool. I like having all of his attention, it makes me feel special. Plus I know he and GG are good friends and I know she loved having him sit with us. I sang a lot, and drank rum and diet coke all night until my last drink, a beer, which incidentally this dude named Patrick broke somehow... don't remember how that happened... but he bought me a new one. SE showed up at some point and didn't really talk to me too much until the end of the night when I asked him to come home with me. I had a personal vendetta.

We got home and went to bed. I think we had sex, but I'm not terribly sure because I was so completely trashed, and I had one thing on my mind: telling SE how I felt. I did, and he listened, and apologized profusely. "I'm sorry I didn't know you liked me that much." "I didn't know it would bother you so much." "I don't know what I want right now but I don't think it's a serious commitment." So on and so on. Bullshit fell from his mouth and stunk up the air. He promised not to make out with anyone any more, and try to spend more time with me. We'll see how that goes. I bet I won't ever have a moment alone with him again. That's fine, he can get with that ghetto bitch and they can tie their trailers together to make a double-wide.

Enough bitterness.

I made salmon and green-bean casserole for dinner and I was quite proud of myself. I finally finished reading Angels & Demons and it was just superb. The ending left much to be desired, but I was satisfied. I mean, there wasn't really much else Dan Brown could do to wrap the book up unless it was going to be a never-ending book with no conclusion. That would suck. I can't wait to read The daVinci Code. I feel it may rock.

Late.

Update

Hey kids, don't forget to check out the "GO HERE FOR PICS!" link to your right. There are new pics up as of today!

If coke is a joke, I'm waiting on the next line.

I'm just blah today.

Thursday I went to Zuey's around nine, after randomly napping on the couch when I got home from work. I walked in and SE smiled at me, and I said hi to everyone else and sat down and ordered a Jack and Coke and hugged KL. Then the ghetto walked in. She and SE immediately went to the other end of the bar and started getting all close and shit. I finished my drink as fast as I could and told KL I was going to Eldo's because I wasn't about to sit there and torture myself staring at them all night long. Fuck.

I went over to Eldo's and it was pretty dead. Zara is the new KJ instead of the gay cowboy, and she's cool. I hung around for awhile and talked to Tomcat and Mr. Happy and some people outside too. It was a really fun evening, the first time in awhile that I have spent the entire night at Eldo's without leaving and coming back or just showing up and leaving after a few minutes or arriving around eleven or twelve to sing one song. Moose showed up around eleven and GG wasn't there yet. He called her and she said she was on her way. I got to sing about four times (maybe five) and it was great. GG's friend from her IRC server or something showed up randomly, his name is Vader. We thought he was my psycho TR at first when she started talking to him but he surely is not. Vader is no psycho, haha, he's actually a really nice guy. GMc showed up at some point too and I hugged him a lot and he kissed me a bunch and it was wonderful. But, he didn't stay. He walked in the back door, walked through the bar, then left. It was pretty funny. Zara loves my singing and it makes me feel so awesome. I sang the songs I normally sing, and then I sang "At Last" for the first time in a really long time and she loved it and a bunch of other people loved it too. My last song of the evening was "A Broken Wing" by Martina McBride, and I killed it. When I was done singing, Zara told me that she had turned off the microphone. I got a little pissed but then she said that she turned it off because I was so loud and clear that I didn't even need it. That made me feel special. I left around one thirty and stopped by Zuey's for a beer on the way home. KL said that it had been fairly packed all night and it just died down before I got there. SE, K, Jclyn and Stormy were still there, and K was trying to get Jclyn and Stormy to kiss. The ghetto apparently had left. KL still couldn't believe what SE had done and I was like, "Well it happens" and I went home. I passed out on the couch after attempting to drink a beer.

Friday, work was boring. DS and I went to Chipotle for lunch, but they had lost our fax order, so we got Fazoli's instead. I did not like it too much, but that's okay. I appreciated him buying me lunch anyway. I don't think I will ever eat Fazoli's voluntarily again, it just did nothing for me. We were gone for about a half hour, and when we walked back into the office it was pretty funny because everyone else had gotten pizza and they were all in the conference room and started making noises like, "ooooooooh Kelly and DS" and shit like that. I laughed.
After work I went down to the Short North to Piercology to get new jewelry for my nipple piercings. It only cost $40 and I was happy. The guy who did it was the owner, and he told me they are moving to a new bigger place on 2nd Ave near where I used to live. Yay! Next time I go to get pierced I won't have to park three blocks away! I think I'm either going to get my clit pierced or my tongue pierced, but first I have to lose 50 lbs. Not sure how that will happen, but I'll figure something out.
I went to Zuey's after that, it was about nine o'clock. Some people I know were there and I talked to them for a little while, RJ and K were there of course, and SE. SE completely ignored me, even stood right next to me and didn't say a word. Fucker. K kept calling me "Barbells" (that's his nickname for me, very original) and I was like, "Nope, not anymore!" so of course I had to show everyone my new jewelry which I didn't mind because I like to show my tits to people. I'm not really sure why I like to, but I do. I do it every chance I get. GG showed up around nine thirty or ten, and we sat in a booth and chilled. I drank a fucking lot. I spent, somehow, sixty dollars. I must have had about sixteen beers and two Jack and Cokes, plus a beer for this one dude, plus a shot for me and a shot for some hot girl. K's nephew Z was trying to pick her up and I was like, hey Z let me buy her a shot, so I did. I walked GG home around eleven or twelve, fuck I don't know what time, but then I was walking back to my car and SE was outside, and he yelled to me. He wanted to know why I didn't say hi to him and I told him that he had completely ignored me for the last two days and I saw him making out with that girl and it upset me. He apologized and said that he was very sorry, he didn't mean to upset me, and he didn't really know what he was thinking making out with that girl. We went in the bar and had some more beers and then he said he had a friend who could hook us up with a white lady. I agreed since I have been feeling for it for awhile, and so we did that. We left the bar at two thirty and went to Jclyn's house. We mostly stayed outside between trips to and from the cars, and I kept giving SE heartburn pills and chews. It was weird. We tried to take this dude back to his girlfriend's car so he could take it home, but then he realized she had the keys, so that didn't happen. However, I got to ride in a TransAm for the first time ever in my life, and it was just loud. Not impressed. I finally left around four a.m., and came home, and passed out on the couch. Tonight I am GOING to sleep in my bed, no matter what.

GG and I were going to go to the pool today but it was closed. Bah, I'm so bored. I am debating on buying a 12 pack of Beast but I don't know. I'm pretty effing broke... we'll see.
Late.

The International Muff-Diving Championships

I'm gonna win this someday. You know why? Because I'm going to become a lesbian. Since July 25th, I've lost two "boyfriends" (men I was "seeing") to other women. I'm racking my brain to think of how it could possibly be my fault, and I cannot come up with a reason. So, it's them, they suck, and I'm going to become a lesbian.

Last night I went to Zuey's and hung out for awhile. KL and I were the only girls there. TG, RJ, K, Danny, and SE were all at a table in the back just being incredibly testosteroney. It was scary but funny when Danny took off all his clothes and was walking around Zuey's in his bikini briefs and a fireman's hat (a small plastic child's fireman's hat.) Then K took off his shirt, then RJ took his off. It was ridiculous.

SE paid a bit of attention to me, touched my leg and gave me a quick kiss when he thought no one was looking. We're still trying to keep this under wraps, so it's okay that he isn't all over me in public. Well that fucker from Sunday night came in, Jimmy, and tried to be cool with SE. He offered to buy him a drink. KL was like "that's the dude SE got in a fight with" and I told her all about Sunday night. She was thrilled that SE and I are hooking up and she said she thought it would be a cool thing in the end. I told her not to tell anyone, and felt that I had probably already said too much even though I didn't really tell her all that much about anything.

I left at eleven fifteenish to go to The Hot Spot to watch NMc play his guitar. It was pretty fun, I sang with him twice ("Gimme One Reason" by Tracy Chapman and "Come to My Window" by Melissa Etheridge.) The girl with the pretty hair, R, was there. Apparently she and NMc have been friends for a long time. That's cool. I went back to Zuey's at about twelve-fifteen. Walked in, and what do I see? None other than SE, mackin' on some white trash ghetto ass whore. She's been in Zuey's before and she was after K for awhile but he straight denied her. SE is kissing this chick on the lips and on the forehead and on the cheek and everywhere. I don't think he even saw me sitting there. I was furious. KL was like, "I'm so sorry! If I knew what to do I would have done something!" I couldn't believe it. It was SE's idea to be exclusive, SE's idea to start this whole "relationship" in the first place. Goddamnit. Well, that's that I guess. I'm not going to give anyone chances anymore, so the relationship between SE and me is over. Great.

Anyway, some more shitty news, GG and IG broke up. It's quite sad, and it was fairly random. She'll be okay but its a shitty situation because they were together for almost a year. Tuesday Moose and GG and I went to The Hot Spot for karaoke. It was pretty fun. NMc showed up to remind me to come to his show Wednesday (I'm obviously going backwards here, haha.) I sang "Take Me or Leave Me" from RENT and I ROCKED. I was even amazed at myself.

Grrr. I'm so hurt. That is why I'm going to paste this song. Enjoy.



Terrible Lie ~ Nine Inch Nails~
hey God
why are you doing this to me?
am i not living up to what i'm supposed to be?
why am i seething with this animosity?
hey God
i think you owe me a great big apology.
terrible lie
terrible lie
terrible lie
terrible lie
hey God
i really don't know what you mean.
seems like salvation come only in our dreams.
i feel my hatred grow all the more extreme.
hey God
can this world really be as sad as it seems?
terrible lie
terrible lie
terrible lie
terrible lie
don't take it away from me.
i need someone to hold on to.
don't take it away from me.
i need someone to hold on to.
hey God
there's nothing left for me to hide.
i lost my ignorance, security and pride.
i'm all alone in a world you must despise.
hey God
i believed your promises, your promises and lies.
terrible lie
terrible lie
terrible lie
terrible lie
you made me throw it all away.
my morals left to decay.
how many you betray.
you've taken everything.
terrible lie.
my head is filled with disease.
my skin is begging you please.
i'm on my hands and knees.
i want so much to believe.
i need someone to hold on to.
i need someone to hold on to.
i need someone i need someone.
i need someone to hold on to.
i give you everything.
my sweet everything.
hey God
i really don't know who i am.
in this world of piss

Atkins Corporation Files for Chapter Eleven Bankruptcy

~Sources say they did not have enough bread.

Haha. I'm fucking clever. It's true though, they really did file Ch. 11.

So last night - wow. Wow, oh, wow. I guess I'll start with the afternoon because that is where I left off! I watched Lost in Yonkers which was not a bad movie, just kinda generic. After that I went for a ride on my new used bike, which was my first time on a bike in FIVE whole years! I was a little wobbly at first, but then I was fine, except for this one part of my road where it's kinda sandy and gravelly and the tires made a scary noise. I pretended I was riding through a little french city because that is what my complex looks like. It was fun. I only rode around for about a half hour though because I was sweating like a mad person. I went home and changed into my suit and headed towards the pool. I wanted to ride my bike to the pool but I thought that might be a bit much. I laid out by the edge for about a half hour, then got in and swam around for about fifteen minutes. Then I laid out again and read some more (Angels & Demons), but I kept getting walked on by little yellow ants. Then, one of them bit me. I sure hope it wasn't poisonous, but I haven't died yet, so I think I'm okay for now. A lady and her boyfriend (apparently named Dan) and her little three year old daughter came to the pool and the kid was darn cute but she kept making me nervous because (according to the mom, who told Dan) she couldn't swim, but the mom was letting her run around the edge of the pool. The kid kept throwing a ball into the water and the noise would scare me because I kept thinking she was falling in. If this damn kid wasn't making me sick with worry, then she was in the pool (with her mom) and splashing more than GG and I did on Friday. I kept getting little droplets on me and my book, so I just finally got up and left. It was four o'clock.

I went home and chilled for a minute, and then I called GMc to see if he was still going to J&J's for dinner. He didn't answer, so I called J&J's house but they didn't answer either. So I waited about a half hour and then called GMc back, and he answered. He had been cutting the grass. Damn Canadian getting me all hot and bothered with his manly Canadian-ness and yard working. Damn. Anyway, he said he was gonna be there about six, so I watched the rest of "100 Greatest Kid Stars" on VH-1 and then showered. I got to J&J's about six thirty, J2 wasn't there because he was out "doing paperwork" with his work partner. We ate meatloaf and stuffing and mashed potatoes for dinner. I was quite impressed with J1's meatloaf because normally 1) I hate meatloaf (I hate any kind of loaf other than onion loaf) and 2) The only meatloaf I will eat is mine or my mom's. J1 is a damn good cook, especially if I will eat her meatloaf. Go J1! You rock!

Well finally J2 called up and wanted J1 to come pick him up. He said he was sick but we thought he was drunk. GMc, J1 and I had started to watch Moonstruck when J2 called, so we turned it off while J1 went to get him and GMc and I watched The 13th Warrior starring good ol' Tony Flags (Antonio Banderas.) I saw about the first fifteen minutes, fell asleep for the next 45, and then woke up just in time to see a dude strung up from the ceiling of a hut with his blood dripping out. I was like "Wow, what a time to wake up." I stayed up for the rest of the movie, mostly because R*B was there and kept yammering on and on about the Dublin Irish Festival and about J2's kids and how he was teaching them math and all sorts of stuff. At least he wasn't talking about his fucking Russian "girlfriend". J&J finally came home and J1 left J2 in the car where he had passed out. Apparently he was really sick because he passed out in the car on the way home and when they got there J1 kept trying to wake him up but he wouldn't, so she left him here. It was pretty funny.

We watched Moonstruck then, and it was a really good movie. A lot funnier than I thought it would be. I always see previews for Cher's movies and think they look sucky but I end up loving them. It's crazy. I did not sleep during Moonstruck! After that, I decided to go to Eldo's. I called GG to see if she was there and she wasn't yet. Moose wasn't there either. I called them both to see if they saw/heard/thought Poke or TM might be there. GG was in a sad mood because she and her boyfriend are having a bit of a rough patch. I think they will be fine, but she was still upset about it.

At Eldo's, it was boring as usual. I pretty much sat and talked to J1 and GMc and Tomcat at the bar. I went outside a few times, walked over to GG and Moose a few times, but mostly I just sat there and stared into space. It took an hour and a half until I got to sing my first song, and I was so incredibly bored by the time I sang that I didn't even have my great energy I usually have when I'm singing Mr. Brightside by The Killers. Oh well. The boy from Thursday night was there... I need a name for him... how about...SE. I suppose it's no different than using anyone else's initials, but whatever. Well he was there with some fat chick in a baseball cap, and she kept shooting me evil looks. SE was babysitting K (the bartender from Zuey's) and looked like he was having a semi-alright time. We didn't really talk too much until the end of the night, but that's okay because we're trying to keep this relationship under wraps, so to speak. I want to prove to him that I'm not the loud mouthed whore he thought I was. Anyway.

SE and I talked a little bit more, even though that fat chick hadn't left. He was actually touching me and stuff, and kissed me a couple times. I was under the impression that he was there with her, but he said he just met her that night. I sang my second song, and then SE and the dude Jimmy were talking. Apparently SE and Jimmy were the ones who got in a fight at Zuey's last Wednesday. SE kicked his ass. Dude had us and T the Drunk up to his apartment down the street, and they were all smoking some pot. Not me, I hate pot. I can't get high from it and it fucking stinks like ass anyway. Yuck. So dude and SE and T the Drunk are all like passing it around and I'm just chillin' there and SE randomly is pushing me up against the wall and kissing me, and it was just kinda cool and funny because it was so random. But then, dude started being a bitch. He was like pushing SE around and trying to start shit again, and so T the Drunk and I went out of the building and waited in the parking lot. While we were talking, I found out that Danielle from the VIP has decided that the next time I walk in there, I'm not only getting thrown out but I'm also getting barred! I thought this was absolutely fucking hilarious. Cunt Bitch Extraordinairre must have heard around somewhere that I talked to SB last week or something. That's the only thing I can think of that would have made her suddenly say that. I almost thought she kind of enjoyed being a fat trailer hoe towards me. Whatever.

Suddenly, SE bursts out of the door. He walking towards the parking lot, then disappears. Then I see him again. Then he disappears. I get in my car and drive towards the street. He finally gets in his truck when he sees me driving away. He pulls out behind me, and says for me to follow him to his house. Then, totally abruptly, he stops his truck in the middle of the street and hops out, I assume to beat dude's ass. Then he's back in the truck driving away. Christ it was ridiculous. I follow him home and he gets in my car and we head toward my house and he's so raging angry and bleeding all over the place from his knuckles... god. It's absolutley ridiculous. Men are so completely... animalistic, I swear. Anyway, we get home and I clean his wounds, which turn out not to be as bad as they looked but really raggedy and gross anyway. He plays with Sheeba a bit and then we head up to bed. He's restless and moving around a lot, and eventually gets up and goes to the bathroom. I think he may have yakked but I wasn't taking the chance of hearing it so I plugged my ears with my fingers until he came back. He cuddled up to me when he got back, and then told me he loved me. I was like, "No, you don't." and he insisted that he did, chewed on my boob a little bit, and fell asleep.

This morning we had some sex... he knocked me off balance... that was great. When I dropped him off he told me to have a great day at work and he would be thinking of me all day. He also said that when he was done working on his house he was going to go hang out by dude's house and beat his ass. GREAT! Now I can't get discounted nipple rings. Damnit.