Please don't hit me.

We're back together.

Also, all my piercings now have jewelry. Great.

Nothing better to do

Sunday Bloody Sunday

VOTE FOR THE NEGRO! WOMEN SHOULD NOT HOLD POSITIONS OF POWER IN GOVERNMENT!

Crazy Bitch

This guy knows what the fuck is going on...


I'm fucking pissed. I'm so tired of "PC"!! I'm so tired of stupid people being self righteous!!

I don't understand why, when someone holds a door for me or moves outta my way or lets me go in line in front of them and I say, "Thank you {ma'am or sir}!", I get a dirty look. When someone fucks me on the freeway, I rarely give the finger. I give a big fucking smile and the peace sign. I'm trying to FUCKING PAY IT FORWARD! I'm tired of bad shit happening to ME! Today, a woman almost ran me over with her car in the Blockbuster parking lot. She parked, and while we were in the store, she looked at me all sheepishly and looked away. She happened to be behind me in line, and I could tell she was embarassed. I noticed, so I said, "Don't worry about almost running me over. I saw you had kids in the car and I know it's difficult to pay attention." She looked at me, glaring, and said "YOU WALKED OUT IN FRONT OF MY CAR. I DID NOTHING WRONG." Not wanting to start shit in the fucking Blockbuster, I said, "I'm sorry, maybe I did. We should both pay better attention next time." To which she responded, "Your fat ass needs to pay attention. You're lucky I didn't hit you or I would sue you for the damage to my car."

I am NOT kidding. IN FRONT OF HER KIDS!!!!!! LITTLE KIDS!!! (Less than 6 yrs old.)

FUCK THEM ALL!! Perhaps I should start calling people niggers, kykes, faggots, camel jockeys, spics, gooks, chinks, sand niggers, beaners, muck-mucks, buffalo jockeys, bushniggers, oreos, micks, christ killers, crackers, honkies, dego wop skanks (i actually do use that one... *blush*), gobblers, gomers, goobers, polaks, sausage munchers, carpet munchers, dykes, or yuppies... maybe if I started to implement all these racial slurs into my everyday life, they'd become more acceptable and then people wouldn't get so fucking PISSED when I call them "sir" or "ma'am". The next time someone holds open a door for me, I'll be like "Thanks Nigger!" or "Hey you spic, I really appreciate it!" or maybe something more congenial, like, "Awww, what a nice fucking cracker you are! I'm glad us honkies can help each other out!"

Just a thought.

Click here for more if you're interested in being humourously offended. I must say though, I came up with most of the slurs myself! *beams with pride* It really is a weird fucking website, and someone has WAY too much time on their hands.

And now, since I'm sure I've offended everyone in the world, some great pics and a great video!!






The boys hugging.


Sheeba in bed.



Me with orange hair at my new old desk... LOL.



Same.


Me with RED hair in the kitchen.

Me with RED hair at Brewstirs on Weber/High.



COCKSUCKER!



Explains itself.


A beautiful strawberry drink I made with my MAGIC BULLET!


Yep.


Hard at work, courtesy of BE.


Again, BE hard at work.


NOT at work! LOL, my new awesome bra and panties.

TMNT

The best movie I've seen this year. Definitely.

Tag! I'm it!

"List seven songs you are into right now. No matter what they are. They must be songs you are presently enjoying. Then tag seven other people to see what they’re listening to."

1. Pussy Control - Prince - It's my theme song, for real.
2. Your Love - The Outfield - This is the last song that Poke sang to me at karaoke two days before he left me, and I think I know why.
3. Fuck You - Harry Nilsson - I think this is pretty obvious... but I'm still upset over Poke and it makes me feel better to sing "Fuck You".
4. Crazy Bitch - Buck Cherry - Super awesome song! I love the energy, but I like Jumping Dead Batteries cover of it better than the original.
5. Leave the Pieces - The Wreckers - I pretty much hate this song, but it's always stuck in my head and it's really easy to sing.
6. Call Me When You're Sober - Evanescence - Exactly.
7. Let's Start Over - Daughtry - His voice is like honey dripping from the golden comb of the gods.

You're next! I now tag...

Dickeybird
Lilly Kat
GG
Wachy
Thora
Regina
Normlr

Alone with my own mind...

Had a dream last night that I let SL come back. We tried to have a relationship again, but literally after only being here for a few hours he was pissing me off. I told him he had a week to get his shit together, or he was going straight back to Florida. I walked out of the room, then came back a few minutes later and he was packing up all his stuff, but as I went through it to make sure he wasn't taking my stuff, I discovered that he was. I started tossing all his stuff out of the box and into a pile on the floor. He ran over and tried to grab me and keep me from unpacking the box, so I elbowed him in the face and he fell over. I kicked him in the head and kept wailing on him until he was dead. Then I dragged his body out to the back yard and set it on fire.

I wonder how I really feel?

New #1 Most Fucked Up Dream

I lived with about seven people. I only recognized three of them from real life, The Asian, BE, and his gf JB. I was talking w/the Asian on the couch, and we started making out. VS (my non-dead fiancee) was looking in the window and I noticed him, but I was confused because I thought that VS was in the living room across from the Asian and me. So I turned and looked over, and there VS was, sitting in a chair, while he was also looking in through the front window. The inside VS stands up and walks over to where he is standing in front of the front door, and suddenly he's shot thru the back of the head. The outside VS runs away. I scream for everyone in the house to come down and help inside VS cuz he's just been shot, and meanwhile I run up to BE/JB's bedroom where BE is puking up a storm and can't help. JB is laying in bed smoking a cigarette and she won't come help cuz she's watching over BE. I grab a rifle that is hidden on top of the medicine cabinet in the bathroom attached to their room, and run down to the basement. I can get out the back door this way. As I'm about to run up the stairs, five guys that I don't recognize from real life bring the inside VS down to the basement floor and dump him; they were carrying him in a sheet and he's bleeding from the head, very badly. I run up the stairs and on my way up I see outside VS and I ask if he shot inside VS and he says no. I'm in my nightgown, running down the street, I can hear the cops in the background with sirens and walkie-talkies and such, and I'm just running and crying and so confused... everything is a blur.

The end.

Random Quotes

"French fried potaters"

"I would give anything I own, I'd give up my life, my heart, my home"

"I just wanna use your love tonight"

"Now the snarfblatt dates back to prehysterical times when humans used to sit around and stare at each other all day. Got very boring. So they invented this snarfblatt to make fine music."

"There is a moment of sheer panic when I realize that Paul's apartment overlooks the park... and is obviously more expensive than mine."

"What lingered after them was not life, but the most trivial list of mundane facts: a clock ticking on a wall, a room dim at noon, and the outrageousness of a human being thinking only of herself..."

"Tonight's lecture: 'What's wrong with celebrating sobriety by getting drunk?'"

NSFW

What on earth... I mean, we all *know* what's going on here, but how the fuck did this guy take this picture?! He must have some really long arms.

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Fat like Me

I never knew! Makes me feel happy!
Guess who it is...

Heeeeeeere Fishy fishy fishy

I'm amused by a lot of things, but nothing amuses me more than people's uninformed opinions. For example, there is an opinion held by many people that I am a slut. I am highly amused by this because generally they are my friend, or at least a very good acquaintance, and then something happens, there's a falling out, and all of a sudden I go from being awesome and fun to husband fucking boyfriend stealer.

I've never stolen anyone's boyfriend, and the only times I ever fucked someone's husband was when those guys lied to me and told me they were divorced and/or not married. Not my fault. Anyway, it just cracks me up. I'm not easy, shit, I don't even hardly ever flirt with anyone. I'm clever and quick-witted, and I think it pisses the simple minded folks off a lot. They come at me with one thing, I come back with twelve. It's awesome.

Not sure what spurned this discussion. Just thinking, I suppose.

God can be Irksome.

I was very irritated with God for giving me this pityriasis rosea. It makes me ugly. Then I realised he was probably doing it for a good reason, so I tried to think of what the reason could be. I think he made me ugly so that boys would shirk back and not fuck me, which is sucky but okay because I don't need to be running around fucking lots of dudes. Thanks, God!

Today, my childhood dream came into reality. No, not the dream of becoming a mother, that would be very bad right now. The dream of being the time/temperature girl/operator/announcer girl/whatever you wanna call it. I have always wanted to be the person who records messages like "The cellular phone you are calling has been turned off or is out of the service area." Well at work, we got a new phone system, it's all fancy and shit, and it has the ability to make automated calls. The kind where you answer your phone and hear someone say "Hello this is _______ and we would like to talk to you about ______." Well fans, I AM THAT SOMEONE. I even get to give people the option to press zero or two, to be connected to a loan officer or to leave a message. It's so awesome. My voice will be heard all over Ohio! YAY!

I went to the MADD panel thing this evening, and it was quite disappointing. I understand the concept of MADD, but I was just very... I dunno. I was expecting to have a revelation or something, to cry, to feel sorry for everything. Now, don't get me wrong, I do feel for these families who have lost loved ones. But I have lost loved ones as well, and it hurts just as much. Losing anyone you love is awful and difficult. However, the only thing I learned tonight wasn't "don't drink and drive", but rather "don't speed and always wear your seatbelt." The mothers gave very heartfelt speeches and showed nice pictures of their son and daughter (respectively), but both stories went like this: "My child was killed by a drunk driver, but had they been wearing their seatbelt and if the driver hadn't been speeding, they would still be here today." In both stories, the child (one 22, one 17) was a passenger in a car driven by a drunk driver. The driver chose to speed and the child chose to not buckle up. Well, I wasn't pulled over for drunk driving, I was pulled over for speeding, and I will admit that it wasn't something I normally do. In nine years, I've gotten two speeding tickets, both of which I deny being fully responsible for (the first, someone failed to tell me that the speedometer was broken and when it said I was going 65 mph, I assumed it was correct, and the second I doubt I was speeding at all because the car in front of me slammed on it's brakes when it noticed the cops up ahead) but that night I chose to speed. I probably will get more speeding tickets in my life, but so what? Regardless, I always wear my seat belt. I guess what I'm trying to say is that this panel didn't have the effect that I think I wanted or that I think it was supposed to have.

Now. Last night I mentioned that my medication was to blame for the dui. Here's some information that leads me to believe this.

• Mydriasis (prolonged dilation of the pupil of the eye) has been reported with EFFEXOR XR.
• Until you see how EFFEXOR XR affects you, be careful doing such activities as driving a car or operating machinery.
• In clinical studies, the most common side effects with EFFEXOR XR were constipation, dizziness, dry mouth, insomnia, loss of appetite, nausea, nervousness, sexual side effects, sleepiness, sweating, and weakness.

All the side effects are symptoms of intoxication as well. My lawyer looked at my "stupid human" test results (aka field sobriety tests) and said that if he was the officer, he would have given me a speeding ticket and sent me on my way because of how well I did on them. Supposedly I did as well as or better than most sober people, save for the eye/pen test (see dialation of the pupils.) So, whatever. I'll pay my debt (all $2500 of it) to society and get it over with. I've driven wasted enough times and NOT gotten pulled over, so fine, it was bound to happen.

Something I found that slightly amuses me. Not that drunkenness is something to poke fun at... RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT. We'll see how I feel after rehab. Right now I'm fucking apathetic.

"Distribution: Ethanol is highly soluble in water and is absorbed much less in fat. So alcohol tends to distribute itself mostly in tissues rich in water (muscle) instead of those rich in fat.

• Two people may weigh the same, yet their bodies may have different proportions of tissue containing water and fat. Think of a tall, thin person and a short, fat person who both weigh 150 pounds. The short, fat person will have more fat and less water making up his body than the tall, thin person. If both people, in this example, consume the same amount of alcohol, the short, fat person will end up with a higher BAC. This is because the alcohol he drank was spread into a smaller water "space."
  
  
• Women's bodies, on average, have more fat and less water than men's bodies. Using the same logic, this means that a woman will reach a higher BAC than a man of the same weight when both drink the same amount of alcohol."

Odds are against me from all sides, being a short, fat woman. Oh! It's time for a beer.

Lots of posts in a small amount of time...

I'm fucking sad.
I hate it.
I can't do anything about it.

This sucks. I want to talk about it but I don't... I won't... I can't.

Why do I keep hurting; why do I torture myself?

My medication caused me to get a dui. There are at least seven contributing factors... it's too late now.

Why do I keep thinking about him? Someone please help me to stop.

Pissed and NOT Sleepy

Josie's on a vacation far away
Come around and talk it over
So many things that I wanna say
You know I like my girls a little bit older
I just wanna use your love tonight
I don't wanna lose your love tonight

I ain't got many friends left to talk to
No one's around when I'm in trouble
You know I'd do anything for you
Stay the night but keep it undercover
I just wanna use your love tonight
I don't wanna lose your love tonight

Trying to stop my hands from shakin'
Somethin' in my mind's not makin' sense
It's been a while since we were all alone
I can't hide the way I'm feelin'

As you leave me please would you close the door
and don't forget what I told you
Just 'cause you're right - that don't mean I'm wrong
Another shoulder to cry upon
I just wanna use your love tonight
I don't wanna lose your love tonight

Yeah

I just wanna use your love tonight
I don't wanna lose your love tonight
I just wanna use your love tonight
I don't wanna lose your love tonight

Tonight

Raise Your Hand if You Have Random Insomnia

You Are 49% Angry

Generally, you are not an angry person. But you're easily frustrated and enraged. You have one heck of a temper. And because of your anger, you tend to feel resentful and even spiteful. You already know how to quell your anger. You just need to do it more often.

How Angry Are You?

You Are 64% Healthy

Your diet is quite healthy, but you don't too crazy with what you eat. You know how to eat what's good for you, but you're also careful not to deprive yourself.

How Healthy Is Your Diet?

Your Lust Quotient: 54%

You are definitely a lustful person, but you do a good job of hiding it. Your friends would be surprised to know that your secretly very wild!

How Much Lust Do You Have?

You Are 31% Addicted to Love

Might as well face it, you're a little addicted to love. You won't do anything for love, but sometimes you do more than you should. No one's worth losing your head for - because in the end you'll only lose your heart. Don't avoid falling in love. Just make sure you don't get too hooked.

Are You Addicted to Love?

You are a Great Girlfriend

When it comes to your guy, you're very thoughtful But you also haven't stopped thinking of yourself You're the perfect blend of independent and caring You're a total catch - make sure your guy knows it too!

Are You a Good Girlfriend?

You Can Hang With the Guys and the Girls

You've struck a good balance between girlie and laid back. You can keep it casual but when you dress up, you are as girly as the next girl.

How Girlie Are You?

You Are A Relationship Rescuer!

You don't ruin relationships, if anything you keep them together The key: you respect yourself and your guy. Which goes further than you might think. You simply treat your guy how you would like to be treated... the old golden rule. And in return, he treats you like gold - or at least tries. And how perfect is that

Do You Ruin Relationships?

You Don't Have a Boyfriend Because You are Too Picky

You have no problem attracting guys - and even dating a little It's just around second or third date time where you start to see faults If a guy isn't near perfect, you're not into him. It's good to have standards - but yours rule almost everyone out.

Why Don't You Have a Boyfriend?

You Are Ani Difranco!

Honest, real, and well liked. You're not limited by any boundaries. "And you can call me crazy But I think you're as lazy as white paint on the wall"

Who's Your Inner Rock Chick?

You're Confident...Sometimes

You can seem confident when the occasion calls for it But inside you may be experiencing a bit of self doubt A little more inner confidence could take you far... And convince others that you're as confident as you try to seem

Are You Confident?

Your Makeup Look Is

Dramatic Eyes with Naked Lips You rock an edgy, modern look with feminine grace

What's Your Signature Makeup Look?

Men See You As: An Attainable Challenge

You know how to make your man crave more of you But you also know when to show some interest back You're good at keeping your guy guessing And over time, you'll let him know how you really feel

Are You a Challenge?

You Should Be With a Water Sign!

Your best match is a Cancer, Scorpio, or Pisces Why? You crave intimacy and connection in your relationship And while most guys can't open up enough for you, a Water Sign can Not that you're whole relationship will be soul gazing A Water Sign matches your goofy sense of humor - and desire to help others.

What Sign Should You Date?

Guys Think You're Easy to Be With... But Not Easy

You're definitely a flirt - and a good one. But you also know that you shouldn't make a move on any cute guy who passes by. You save your seductive moves for someone who already knows the real you. That way, your sex appeal is just part of the whole package.

Are You Easy?

You Are Most Like Carrie!

You're quirky, flirty, and every guy's perfect first date. But can the guy in question live up to your romantic ideal? It's tough for you to find the right match - you're more than a little picky. Never fear... You've got a great group of friends and a great closet of clothes, no matter what! Romantic prediction: You'll fall for someone this year... Totally different from any guy you've dated.

Which Sex and the City Vixen Are You?

You Probably Look Your Age (At Least!)

You don't really respect your body, and that may catch up with you over time. Relax a little and try to take care of yourself. If not, you'll have a lot of botox in your future.

Do You Look Your Age?

I'm Not Ready to Make Nice

Forgive, sounds good.
Forget, I'm not sure I could.
They say time heals everything,
But I'm still waiting

I'm through, with doubt,
There's nothing left for me to figure out,
I've paid a price, and i'll keep paying

I'm not ready to make nice,
I'm not ready to back down,
I'm still mad as hell
And I don't have time
To go round and round and round
It's too late to make it right
I probably wouldn't if I could
Cause I'm mad as hell
Can't bring myself to do what it is
You think I should

I know you said
Why can't you just get over it,
It turned my whole world around
and i kind of like it

I made by bed, and I sleep like a baby,
With no regrets and I don't mind saying,
It's a sad sad story
That a mother will teach her daughter
that she ought to hate a perfect stranger.
And how in the world
Can the words that I said
Send somebody so over the edge
That they'd write me a letter
Saying that I better shut up and sing
Or my life will be over

I'm not ready to make nice,
I'm not ready to back down,
I'm still mad as hell
And I don't have time
To go round and round and round
It's too late to make it right
I probably wouldn't if I could
Cause I'm mad as hell
Can't bring myself to do what it is
You think I should

I'm not ready to make nice,
I'm not ready to back down,
I'm still mad as hell
And I don't have time
To go round and round and round
It's too late to make it right
I probably wouldn't if I could
Cause I'm mad as hell
Can't bring myself to do what it is
You think I should

Forgive, sounds good.
Forget, I'm not sure I could.
They say time heals everything,
But I'm still waiting

Gross Post - Reader Beware

Things that turn your poo funny colors (from life experience):

• Green beer
• Cherry Kool-aide
• Sushi
• Blue Powerade
• Watermelon
• Pumpkin
• Charcoal liquid and/or charcoal pills
• Bacardi 151
• Habanero Peppers
• Spinach

That's all I can think of. Guess what my inspiration was!

The Moment You've All Been Waiting For!

Birthday Pics! Well, some of them aren't from my birthday, but close enough.


JM and Kel-Bell


RM and Sanddogg


OA & the back of Doc


D*Martin!


Kel-Bell


Sanddogg & Kel-Bell


Valdez and Kel-Bell


The Sir & Kel-Bell


EB aka Turtle


Kel-Bell and Stromp, I dunno WHY I'm makin' that face!


Kel-Bell, drunk tryin' to work the camera.


Kel-Bell, drunk tryin' to take a picture with Stromp


Psyn and EB


Cat, Stromp, and Kel-Bell (mouth wide open, as usual!)



Cat's hands, Stromp, Kel-Bell, WW (in the back), Psyn doin' some lemon drops!


Kel-Bell and NMc!


Drunk again, Kel-Bell and Tomcat


Kel-Bell sings the hits


Kel-Bell, Stromp, Psyn (and wee lil baby inside!)



OA (the big sexy negro) and Kel-Bell


Kel-Bell and Tomcat


Kel-Bell and EB


Kel-Bell and Cat, a pair of rockin' cocksuckers!


Pretty decorations by Cat!