I'm all hopped up

This is the M&M me and the M&M Poke.

For the second time in my life, like I mentioned yesterday, I'm on freakin' steroids. The first time was for a tooth infection of sorts, the choices were root canal or steroids, and I opted for the juice. So anyway, I have been ridiculously horny for about three days now. Well, I didn't think anything of it because Poke makes me that way, first of all, and second of all it had been a minute since I got any that was really good. I read some more into the side effects of steroids, and found out that "the psychiatric disturbances include depression, euphoria, insomnia, mood swings, personality changes, and even psychotic behavior." And this makes sense! I've been so tired, yet unable to sleep, so horny and unable to be... satisfied (?), thrilled one moment and miserable the next only to go straight back to thrilled within another minute... it's kinda cool. I feel all weird and funky but I'm fucking happy and that is GREAT! The only bad thing is that it makes my bones hurt, literally. My legs feel like I'm going through a grow spurt or something.

Let's see. What else?

Last night I sent some of my poetry to Poke to help inspire him in writing lyrics for this band he's trying to be in. He auditioned last week and it went really well, but they want him to write some lyrics to go with their music. I'm sure he won't have a problem, he's already got some lyrics done, but I wanted to show him what I can do and help him out a little bit. Tonight he's coming over and we're gonna work on that stuff a little bit and see how it all goes. I was all emotional last night cuz after reading my stuff he said that he really liked it and he was impressed. That made me feel special.

This weekend I have to go to the rehab thing, it's not really rehab it's just some driver intervention program or something, but I don't know what to really call it. So it's become known as the rehab thing. This past Sunday was my last day to drink, since I can't drink for 72 hours before hand, which fucking sucks. Luckily Sunday was a super fun day! I'm scared about going to this place because, well, you all know I hate shit like that. I can't stand going places unfamiliar to me all by myself, I can't stand being out of my element, I can't stand not knowing exactly what is going to happen next. It's bullshit, I know, but it's just the way I am, and I hate it. I was already crying over it last night, and I just know I'm going to be crying the whole time I'm there, at least when I'm in my room. I'm so terrified of this! I would almost rather have spent 3 days in jail being herded around like a heiffer than do this... well at least I won't get shanked. Maybe.

So, there's a real karaoke contest going on this week, which I am missing. It's okay I guess, because I have no fucking voice and I can't drink and my boyfriend was tired last night. Sunday night though bitches, I am fucking there. SO THERE. I'll be gettin' out of rehab and heading over to the bar. For real.

I'm kinda sad now thinking about rehab. I guess I'll go play some Pogo.

I should mention that I'm feeling very confident these days. Not sure where that came from, but I'm not complaining.