Lazy Alcoholic Homosexual

Oh, I forgot to mention that Fuzz and I made up on Sunday. I sang "Runaway" and he cried.

So yesterday was my husband's 24th birthday. I called and left him a message (a nice one!) and said "Hi, it's your wife, I was just calling to wish you a happy 24th birthday and inquire as to when I would be getting my divorce." Of course, I got no answer back. So, I wrote his step-father this email, and copied it to my parents and my mother-in-law and my husband:

"Hi Kevin,
I apologize first off for emailing you at your company address, however, I have no other address for you.
Today is my husband's 24th birthday - yes, that's right, I said husband. In about seven months, we will have been married for four years (in case you forgot, the anniversary is May 3rd.) I have done everything I can to end this marriage legally - I have given Matt over $200 to file, I have had forms ready for him to fill out and sign, and I have given him the opportunity to do it his way. Frankly, I'm tired of waiting. I need to move on with my life without him weighing me down. I don't know why he refuses to divorce me - if he thinks that he is going to get alimony, not happening - we weren't married long enough. If he thinks he's going to get any sort of money from me, also not happening - he already forfeited his rights (i.e., signed away on a legal document) to my 401(k) and I don't own anything else (not even my car.) There is absolutely no reason why he should be hanging on to this marriage! I'm not sure if he uses it as a sympathy thing to try and get chicks or what, but it's really furthering the ruination of my life. I have to claim a different status on my taxes, which makes filing a pain, I have to mark "Married" on every application I fill out, every person I meet and try to date quickly goes away because they know I'm still bogged down by this situation, etc. etc. etc. I can't stand this anymore. I have tried to contact Matt via phone and he either doesn't answer or does answer and then hangs up on me mid sentence. This morning I left him a very nice message (honestly - I have a witness) wishing him "Happy 24th Birthday" and inquiring as to when I would be receiving my divorce.
I heard a rumour that you wanted me to sign the Hyundai over to Niccole when you're done paying it off. I also heard that I would get a divorce in return. Well, maybe the three of you should think about that and convince your son to finally leave me alone if you really want me to help you out. If I don't get a divorce, there is absolutely no chance of me signing anything over to anyone. Wouldn't you hate for all that money you put into the car to just go down the drain because your son is an irresponsible "adult"? Every time I talk to Matt he says he cannot afford a divorce because of "money", yet I have (as I stated earlier) given him enough money to cover more than three quarters of the cost of the fees. I'm sure he spent that on alcohol though, as usual (I, on the other hand, have stopped drinking.) I'm tired of being nice, I'm tired of sitting around and waiting for him to take action. He claims that I threaten him, that I'm insane, that I causes trouble in his life. Even though these are blatant lies, if he feels they are true, that should be all the more reason to divorce me and get me out of his life.
Thank you for taking the time to read this, and as you can see, I have copied it to my parents, Paula, and Matt. Everyone will be in "the loop" so no one can point their fingers at me and claim that I am being a threat or whatever you people have claimed in the past, and you cannot change what I have written and try to send it to my parents trying to tell them that I said this, that or the other thing.Have a wonderful evening.
Kelly"

Last night I got a phone call from my mom telling me I need to stop threatening them with the Hyundai thing. I wasn't threatening. I was simply telling them that if they didn't hold up their part of the bargain, neither would I. I got this response from my mother-in-law this morning:

"Hi Kelly,
Paula here. Now, your threat about keeping the Hyundai after WE paid for it is NOT going to happen. The agreement is between your parents and us and if we have to get our attorney involved, we will. Matt has a successful computer job with a big company and also in the last two weeks worked an additional 80 hours at a pizza place. He has gotten his life straightened around, but I can do just so much as he is an adult, like you and leads his own life. I thought this whole divorce thing was finished, since Kevin bought the legal papers, made copies and gave one each to you and Matt. I understand your frustration and will bring this up to him the next time I see him, which because of his busy schedule, isn’t often. You and I have always gotten along, so let’s not ruin it by trying to hold the title of the car that will be legally ours in a few months over our heads, okay?
Matt doesn’t want or need your money, so I don’t know what the holdup is. As I said, I will try and talk to him about it, so you both can get on with your lives. I wish you the best, am glad that you have stopped drinking and hope that you have stopped taking drugs also…they lead to trouble. Take care and please stop trying to hold the title of the Hyundai over our heads . . . we have lived up to our responsibility as to making the payments and there are laws against someone else trying to take things that they have not paid for. Good luck Kelly.
Sincerely,
Paula"

Too bad my name is on the title and they never signed a contract with me. They did, a long time ago, but it's null and void now that they signed the contract with my parents... I replied to this:

"Paula,
I wasn't threatening anything with the car. I'm sorry it came across that way, but I was under the impression that you had proposed that if I signed over the title then you would have Matt finally give me a divorce. Apparently this is just another figment of my imagination, much like the divorce papers that Kevin supposedly dropped off. I haven't seen Kevin since February when he came to my office so I could sign the power of attorney for the license plates. If Kevin did not give those papers directly to me, then I would like to know who he gave them to so I can get ahold of that person and see why they never gave them to me. The only reason why I wrote Kevin the email yesterday is because I am moving on with my life, and I have been trying to get ahold of Matt for several weeks. He doesn't answer his phone, and if he does answer he hangs up on me, he doesn't respond to emails, nothing. He may be 24 years old but he is not acting like an adult. I've done everything I can and I thought maybe since he used to listen to you sometimes you'd be able to help me, but apparently that isn't the case. I'm not glad to hear that he has turned his life around, I'd much rather he be wallowing in the pitiful state I left him in, but I suppose it's good to hear that he has. I've been the better person in this situation, I've never tried to harm him or anything else (in fact, he was the one who tried to reconcile the whole thing last summer, but I'm sure he never told you that.) At least now that you've told me he is working (shock) then he can afford to pay for the divorce. He can't use the excuse that he's poor and living off Lynn Sr. (like he always has, right up until last week) because he has a computer job and a pizza job. Wonderful. Tell him to pony up the dough and get this over with. I'm not contributing one more cent to this divorce. I paid for enough while we were married. You and Niccole and Bobby and Lynn weren't the only ones who supported his alcoholism while we were married - I worked five different jobs while we were married, and the only time I didn't work was in the beginning. I've been at this job for almost two years now. Amazing, I can keep a job now that I'm not with Matt! I don't have him calling and creating problems, I don't have him showing up and making scenes!
You know, the worst part about this is that he lies to everyone. No one will ever know what actually went on in our house for those two years. I can talk til I'm blue in the face trying to get you and my parents and everyone else to understand what he did to me, but it would get me nowhere.
Just like this letter I suppose."

I don't think I've ever talked about my marriage before. Maybe now is the time. This will be a long post.

I met my husband on matchdoctor.com and one night (April 16th, 2002) we talked on the phone for about seven hours. It was wonderful. We hit it off right away. The next day (April 17th, 2002) he came over and I made dinner. I had just bought my condo and was living with my best friend, Megan. The three of us had dinner and then MMA and I hung out for awhile. I had promised I would take Megan out to Hilliard to see her parents, so the three of us headed out there. We had a wonderful evening, and I thought MMA was going to spend the night, but as we were falling asleep he says, "Oh, shit, I have to take Niccole to work in the morning" and left. I thought that was the end of it, because he hadn't mentioned anyone named Niccole and I assumed that it was a wife or girlfriend. (It turned out she was his sister.) The next day I took SK to see "The Scorpion King" and when I got home there was a note and a rose on the front door that said, "Sorry I ran out last night, had to take my sister to work, call you later." So I called him and he came over. We had dinner, and just chilled in the basement, and drank some beers. He said to me, "I told Niccole today that if I could marry you tomorrow, I would." So we got engaged on April 18th, 2002.

More later.