30 December 2005

BucketStamp

Look at this cool thing I made:

Yay! Pics!

Lots and Lots of Pics at the Photobucket. :)

CLICK

27 December 2005

Santa Baby

What I got for Christmas:

  • Six Slice Toaster Oven
  • Steam Cleaner (got that in November when I got back from Fla)
  • Crock Pot
  • $60 gift cert to Dick Blick Art Supplies
  • $50 gift cert to BP Gasoline
  • $25 gift cert to SunOCo Gasoline
  • $20 gift cert to Kroger's
  • $20 from Aunt Sue & Uncle Ronnie (In Spirit)
  • $5 from Uncle Bob
  • Season One of Law & Order: SVU 6 disc DVD set
  • A book of quotes by Mr. Rogers
  • Pope John Paul figurine
  • Care Bears Ornament
  • Framed photo of SK
  • Framed photo of my family
  • Two Candle holders
  • Freaky magic worm
  • Meatwad Sticker
  • "Easy" button
  • Stocking stuffers: hand soap in lemon and vanilla, gum, pair of rudolph socks, mandarin oranges.

I totally made out. Santa was way good to me this year!!!

End of Year Survey 2005

What did you do in 2005 that you'd never done before? Drove to Florida.
Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year? Yes I kept them and I don't know if I'll make any.
Did anyone close to you give birth? KL and SS.
Did anyone close to you die? Yeah my Uncle Ron.
What countries did you visit? I don't think any... Nope, none.
What would you like to have in 2006 that you lacked in 2005? More money and a divorce.
What date from 2005 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? The whole month of May (TM bullshit and some other crap, see the archives!), August 6th (talked to SL for the first time), August 10th (My Uncle died)
What was your biggest achievement of the year? Saving and getting a credit card.
What was your biggest failure? Still not getting a divorce.
Did you suffer illness or injury? Plenty. I found out in Feb. that I still had the chlam from my stupid husband, I puked like 18 times this year (usually I go years w/out yakking), I was hungover for the 3rd time in my life, I fell down the stairs, I got mauled by kittens, I had an allergic reaction to a small child...
What was the best thing you bought? Plane tickets.
Whose behavior merited celebration? Mine. I went from Super Slut to Super Monogamous and that was good.
Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? SB.
Where did most of your money go? Bills, plane tickets, vacations.
What did you get really, really, really excited about? Meeting SL.
What song will always remind you of 2005? My Humps.
Compared to this time last year, are you:
Happier or sadder?
Happier.
Thinner or fatter? Slightly thinner.
What do you wish you'd done more of? Save money.
What do you wish you had done less of? Spent money.
Did you fall in love in 2005? Yes.
How many one-night stands? upwards of 15... but usually they came back for more a month later... or something...
What was your favorite TV program? Law & Order SVU.
Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? TM.
What was the best book you read? Great Expectations.
What was your greatest musical discovery? Hmmm... I discovered I can pretty much sing anything I try to.
What did you want and get? Lots of stuff. But not a damn divorce.
What was your favorite film of this year? The Graduate.
What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? Went to Tony's for karaoke and no one showed up because they suck and I turned 23.
What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? Getting a divorce.
How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2005? Well I attempted to be more girly and add color to my wardrobe so... other wise I dress all in black.
What kept you sane? GG.
Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? I tend not to "fancy" anything like that. But I was thrilled when Nick and Jessica broke up.
What political issue stirred you the most? That lady whose family versed her husband on whether or not she should be taken off life support.
Who did you miss? MF.
Who was the best new person you met? SL, M0053, GG (technically I knew her already but we weren't really friends.)
Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2005: Seems to me that "maybe" pretty much always means "No."
Quote a song lyric that sums up your year: "God Blessed the Broken Road that led me Straight to You."

22 December 2005

Don't Tell Anyone I Punched that Boy.

Remember on GMc's birthday when this happened (October 2005):

"There was this kid, Brian, and he was pretty cool. Then he asked for a ride home, and since he only lived four blocks from me, I said no problem. Well we had just dropped O off and the kid leans up to the front seat and says, "You guys wanna party?" and GMc says "Well she used to be a coke head and I used to smoke crack so what do you mean by party?" and the kid is just like "Um let me call my dude, whatever you want" but we didn't want anything, we were just going to maybe take it if he had it. We pulled over to The Continent where he said he lived, and I told him to get the fuck out of the car. He did, and said he wanted to talk to GMc for a second, and he kept trying to get GMc to buy something. We were so not interested. I told GMc to get back in the car, and he did, and we drove off, leaving the boy in the parking lot. I wonder if he actually lived there or not... oh well. The damn security guard was circling the area watching us and I sure didn't want to go to jail. Fuck that boy."

Well that kid yakked in GMc's car that night, which he didn't find out until like the next day or something. So, this kid has been harassing me all the time when I see him. He talks so much shit to me, calling me a whore and everything else, and I totally don't instigate it. So last night I punched him in the nose. It bled a lot. He called me a whore and said that his friend would pay him to take me home. Fuck that. I cried.

Mrs. SL

Yippie Woo and Skipper Do I'm going to Jersey, how about you?!

Oh yes, I'm going to New Jersey for New Years, yay yay yay. I'm dropping GG off in Pennsylvania to see her man on the way there, how nice of me. I was worried about Wendell riding in the car that long but TG calmed my fears about it. Animals in cars make me shake. It's all good though, since Wendell is a Seeing Eye Dog she is trained to be a certain way in the car. That's wonderful. I already knew that, but I guess I just needed reassurance.

Last night I went to Eldo's and hung out with J1, who I haven't seen in months. She was really busy with her kids and their ceiling fell in and everything, so it's okay. We had a great time. We sat with AE, who is just a bit off her rocker. Oh man. But last night she wasn't too bad until she started getting ripped and complained about GMc being moody and how he wasn't a good boyfriend and blah blah and I was like whatever lady. I took her and Brewstir's J to the other Brewstir's where I hung with D*Martin and Jstn and it was good times until...

21 December 2005

Happy and Tolerant Cacophony!



So, not much has been going on. The only thing worthy of note is that I have had the same strange dream the last five nights. I'm pretty tired of having it, and I would like to find out what it means. The dream is as follows: I'm in a situation where I'm incredibly pregnant, and my belly sticks way way out from my body. MMA is beating me or fighting me, and SL comes in to save the day, assisted by VS (the fiance who passed away.) Usually I will tell VS not to help because he's already done enough for me, and then SL will take over and take care of things. In the end, I am fine, VS has gone away, and SL has defeated the Evil MMA. Strange. The only variations on the dream is how MMA is hurting me - once he was beating me, once he was kicking me, once he was pummelling my pregnant belly with a lead pipe. Except for last night, last night there was no MMA, it was my G'maP instead - she pushed me into an empty swimming pool at a resort in Florida and I landed stomach first and my stomach exploded on impact. My mom and I were visiting SL there and my G'maP was just being mean, and then there were like 40 ladies claiming to be her daughters and a pair of twins tried to get her to move to Hawai'i... VS was there as a gas station attendant who wouldn't sell me cigarettes because I was pregnant.

I was thinking that I was dreaming of VS so much because maybe he's still alive... not sure. I would think that I was thinking of being pregnant because I am, but I don't think I would be because I'm on the pill... there's like a .01% chance that I could be. This is very confusing. I can understand the part where MMA tortures me and SL saves the day, because that is pretty much what is happening in real life.

If anyone knows how to interpret dreams or knows a website or something where I can look these things up, I would greatly appreciate it!

19 December 2005

Joe.My.God

Vote for him here - it's very important. I can't get through the day without reading his blog. He's listed under Best Urban Gay Blogger.

OK long post

Well I could just say that SL's week here was the best week of my life, but that would just be boring!

Monday we went to my parents' house for dinner and then hung out with my little brother. They played video games while I effed around on the computer and made a mix CD. It was just generic family relaxing fun, quite wonderful.

Tuesday we went to the Hot Spot and it was super fun. O was there, Geo, Moose, Pula, and a bunch of other people. We had so so SO much fun. There were these older kind of business guys and they LOVED my singing and one gave me a Coors Light that I pounded in 37 seconds. It was last call. SL thought he was gonna yak when we got home because he and O had shared something like 4 pitchers of Amber Bock and SL is definitely not used to drinking that thick kind of beer. Luckily he didn't and he got over it and it was all good.

Wednesday we went to the Karaoke Cocksuckers Christmas Party at Brewstir's in the Continent. GMc had come over for dinner (I made pork and broccoli chinese dinner) and then the three of us headed over there. My parents got there at the same time as us, so that was good. D*Martin was there, Uncle Bob and his daughter, Cat, and some other folks I know from around. Cat had a raffle, you got a ticket for showing up and every time you sang you got a ticket. SL won a giant Hershey's kiss, which he gave to D*Martin, my mom won edible underwear which she traded to D*Martin for the kiss, and I won a masturbation kit. GMc won a cool Bacardi baseball jersey and also I think he got a shitty t-shirt too. Other people won things like a vibrator or a kind of t-shirt or whatever. It was very very very fun. I was so trashed. SL bought me two roses, and I almost cried.

Thursday we went to Zuey's to meet KP and a few of her friends. We were sitting there chillin' and then she left to take her friends home. SL started talking to Wags about army stuff so I was just looking around being bored. I felt a little drunk but not too bad. I turned my head once and then all of a sudden I had the worst migraine ever. We didn't go to karaoke, we just went home. As soon as I got out into the fresh air I felt better but still kinda shitty. We got Taco Bell on the way home and I was so mad because they gave me chicken and I fucking hate chicken.

Friday I called off because I felt sick. I think I was just hurting from the night before, but I wanted to spend time with SL too so it was alright. I was coughing my ass off all day though and I know I had a little bit of a fever, so I'm not sure what was up with the migraine but whatever. SL and I woke up around nine a.m. and had some adult time then went back to sleep. Then woke up around noon and had some adult time and tried to go back to sleep but I decided I was hungry and it was time for Chipotle. So we did that, then went to Rent-A-Center to pay my bill, then went to Kohl's, JoAnn Fabrics, and The Polaris Fashion Place. We were in the mall (I'm sorry, "Fashion Place") and SL wanted to look at engagement rings. Apparently he has opened a savings account specifically for buying me a ring. He got approved for the store credit at Ashcroft and Oak, and luckily he doesn't have to put that much down on the ring we want. I was so happy I could cry. At this rate I will be divorced and remarried within a year and a half. I hope it all works out well. I'm just worried about SL being in the army and going to Iraq and the troubles he's had with jobs lately. He has a job, but the thing is that it's the 3rd one he's had since we started talking. He hasn't missed any time one he started working, like gaps in employment or anything, but still... it's worrisome. In the evening we went to Kroger's and did grocery shopping which was quite difficult for me because I'm so used to being single and doing it my way and I have a system, which SL was messing up. I got over it. Friday night SL made a wonderful Italian dinner. We had a semi-romantic evening, and it was beautiful. Then he told me something that I have been pondering for awhile and it turned out he has been lying to me, even though I knew it anyway. I got over it, told him he had better NEVER lie to me again, and he cried a lot. Like, a really lot. More than me. So I know he felt bad. No, he wasn't cheating on me. It was something incredibly menial and totally irrelevant to the scheme of things, he was just being strange.

Saturday I practically cried all day. We went to the Waffle House to meet JR the Hippie for brunch but he never showed up. Ended up spending almost two hours there and drinking nearly five to eight cups of coffee each. But SL loved it. After that we headed over to SS/Jms house to meet them and see the bebes. The new one was sleeping when we got there but the boy was playing Spiderman so we all sat around and talked and watched them play. SL and Jms got along well and they were both helping the boy learn how to play... well theorhetically I suppose they were telling SL how to play because he didn't really know how that well. Regardless, it was cute. I got to look at the bebe and she was sleepin' in her bassinet all cute and stuff, it was great. She's getting so big! We stayed for a few hours and then went home. After some adult fun and things of that nature, SL made another great italian dinner. We went to Zuey's to meet up w/RB and her husband TB (RB is my one girl friend from high school.) We talked about some shit I had completely forgotten about and that was off the hook. I had so much fun. I haven't really seen RB all that much, I think maybe about once since I got married. I saw her a few times when she was at ONU with JAFH, but then when I got hitched and he went to BGSU, I just kinda lost contact, which sucked. Maybe now that I'm in a more normal part of life we can be in touch better. Anyway, they stayed for about two hours, and it started to get really loud because the band was about to start playing. JR the Hippie came in right as they were leaving, and he tried to sell us some two year old acid. I laughed in his face. SL didn't like JR because they are so much alike and SL doesn't want me hanging around w/someone like JR. I told him not to worry because I see JR about twice a year anymore. We hung out and listened to the band, and talked to a few people. The Boring Kid Nicholas showed up and I was kinda glad actually because I haven't seen him in forever and I was getting a little worried. Turns out he got a new dog that he has been retraining because the first person who had it trained it wrong or something. Whatever, I'm just glad he's not dead. SL and I hung out for awhile and then went home and laid on the couch and I cried a little bit because I was so sad to think of him leaving the next day.

Sunday was the worst day ever. We woke up, had some adult fun, ate a ton of food, had some more adult fun, laid around and watched Law & Order SVU marathon then had some more adult fun (twice this time) and then he had to go to the airport. We got Taco Bell on the way, and ate it while driving. We made it to the airport at 3:45 p.m. for his 4:10 p.m. flight. He made it though, and got to W. Palm beach around ten p.m. I didn't cry too much on the way home from the airport or on the way there, but when I got home and changed the sheets and started cleaning up and stuff, it was all over. I was hoping I would find something he had left, and I did (his Brooklyn hat and his plane ticket and his pj pants) and that made me cry harder. I was really crying for about an hour and a half. I went to karaoke with GG and we had a great time. Before we left I gave her her Christmas present which was a very awesome purse she wanted from Kohl's that is just like mine, with a Jaegermeister button that flashes and everything! I also gave her some lip gloss that is Skittles flavored. She reacted exactly like I thought she would, yelping "YAY!" when she saw what it was. I rule. At karaoke it was dead because the roads were kinda shitty, so I got to sing a lot. Apparently there has been a downfall in the friendship between Poke and D*Martin, so he was trying to think of something evil we could do to Poke to make him realise what a loser he is. We came up with a few ideas but not many. D*Martin spent a lot of time trying to get me to get with him, and it's getting kind of old. He met SL and could see that I am obviously in love with SL, I don't know why he's still trying. I guess he just has nothing better to do. I called SL when I got home and we talked for a little while and I cried a little bit more. Then we went to sleep.

What a great week.

12 December 2005

Oh Sal!

What a wonderful weekend. SL is just perfect. I hope this lasts!

Friday GG and I went to Target so she could get Christmas gifts for her man. I helped her pick them out, and I think he will really like them. I can't say what we got because he reads my blog and I'm not sure if they exchanged yet or not! Friday night SL and I stayed on the phone as long as possible so it would be less time between waking up and him arriving here. We got off the phone around one a.m., and I finished reading Great Expectations. I was bored still and couldn't sleep, so I started to read Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, which starts out v e r y boring. Terribly. I fell asleep on page three, so I got up and turned off the light and went to sleep... only to be woken up by the noise of water dripping inside my wall. That sucked because every seven to fifteen seconds I'd hear "drip" and it kept me up. Finally I passed the time by counting seconds between drips steadily and eventually fell asleep for good around two a.m.
I woke up at nine thirty a.m. That sucked. I had tried so hard to sleep for so long! I ended up reading the rest of Jekyll & Hyde and the story that was after it, The Bottle Imp. That story was really good, I was surprised. I'm not usually a big fan of short stories, I prefer long novels that suck you in and take weeks to read.
Anyway.
After I read so much that I could barely see, I tried to go back to sleep but I couldn't so I went down stairs, cleaned the cat box, did the dishes, cleaned up some trash, took the trash out (actually set it on the back stoop) and then made a grilled cheese sandwich. I ate that, wandered around for a minute, then called SL. He was packing, so we talked for that little while, and then hung up because he had a couple things to do before going to the airport. The wait from four o'clock p.m. until five forty-five p.m. when he called to say he had landed in Atlanta was the longest hour and forty five minutes ever. Then, the trouble began. SL went out to smoke a cigarette, and he was away from the plane for about twenty minutes. When he went back to the gate, there was a sign that said to go to a different gate to catch the plane to Columbus. When he got to that gate, the plane had already left! They didn't even wait for their full 45 minute layover. I was devestated. So was SL! They put him on stand by for a 21:30 flight to Columbus, but they couldn't guarantee he would get on it. I went to Kroger's and then to Zuey's to wait for him to call and let me know. Finally at 20:55 SL called and told me his name was on the list and he was definitely getting the flight. If he hadn't gotten that one, he would have had to wait until 9:20 a.m Sunday morning for a flight. Luckily, it all worked out. I picked him up at the airport around 23:15 and it was wonderful. I was so happy to see him I could barely contain myself.
We went home and hung out for awhile, and, well... adult fun ensued. We ended up staying up until about 4:00 a.m. I haven't slept with a person in my bed since... well, I suppose since I was dating Poke, so my sleep was quite restless. SL tosses and turns a lot too, so that didn't help. I kept waking up and being really hot, so I opened the window, then another time I turned on the fan, and I finally fell asleep for about four straight hours only to wake up around ten thirty a.m. It was okay though. More adult happiness, then we finally got out of bed, showered, and he made breakfast. SL makes the best omlettes ever! I thought I was good at making omelettes, but SL definitely has me beat. We laid around, more adult fun, then started to watch The Godfather. Just as it started, GMc called. He and Ron were on the way back from Alabama/Kentucky, and had two extra tickets to the Blue Jackets game. I was all over that! SL and I got ready, and I checked to see who they were playing... turned out to be the New Jersey Devils! Funny because SL grew up in New Jersey. The game was awesome. We had a lot of fun, and SL had never been to a hockey game before. The Blue Jackets won, of course, because I have never been to a game where they lost! 3-2 in overtime, it was great.
We went to Burger King after the game, and then headed to Eldo's. It was TG's 50th birthday, so we wanted to see him, and I bought him a beer. We had a couple pitchers, sat and talked with DG and TG for awhile, and then when GMc and Ron got there, SL played pool with them while I sat and talked to Zara. It was a wonderful evening. I think having SL in my life is just what I need. Anyway, we ended up taking GMc home, and he and SL were trashed. I was a little irritated because they hadn't included me in their shots and hadn't even told me about it, but I wasn't too mad. Just upset because I don't want to end up with another drunk like MMA. I told SL I was upset, and he got really emotional, and he asked me to marry him... don't get all excited folks, he was drunk. But we talked about it, and we have to figure out how to get me divorced first. The cost has risen significantly from $1,500 to $3,500. I guess we'll get it done somehow. But anyhow, SL and I went home and he was very lovey, and we finally fell asleep around three a.m. Woke up at eight thirty-ish, and had a wonderful morning. Stopped at McD's for breakfast and brought it to the office. He met some people I work with, and then went home. Tonight we're going to my parent's house for dinner. We were going to go to karaoke but I'm going to tell them to come on Tuesday or Wednesday because those days will be less smoky, and Wednesday is the Karaoke Christmas Party at Brewstir's.
What a wonderful time.

09 December 2005

More Pics!

Go to the photobucket to see new pics! Yay!

This Will be Interesting

Go to your calendar and pick the first entry of each month. Copy and paste the first line of that entry and that is your year end review.


January: Well hello.


February: I hate Stupid Bowl Sunday.


March: OH MY DEAR LORD IN HEAVEN I can't take this anymore.


April: Oh my gosh!


May: "...You know, where people play games with the night... god, it was too hot to sleep... I turned around and she said, 'Why do you always end up down at Nick's Cafe?'... Catch the Blue Train... look for me, Somewhere down the Crazy River..." ~"Somewhere Down the Crazy River" by Robby Robertson.


June: Also, drinking a gallon of "Mountain Blast" Powerade will turn your poo neon green.


July: Well, that's the day I'm going to die.


August: ~Sources say they did not have enough bread.


September: Name: Kelly.


October: They're both fucking close to water. Har.


November: Like myspace.com which is pretty fucking gay but I signed up awhile back and then my yahoo! account was hacked/fucked/destroyed and when SL told me he was updating his tonight I decided I may as well do the same.


December: Alright, this is probably the most fucked up one to date, only because it's so fantastical... if that's a word.


I have no idea how to sum up this year. I'd say... fucked up. Very different. Fast.


It reads like this though: "Well hello. I hate Stupid Bowl Sunday. OH MY DEAR LORD IN HEAVEN I can't take this anymore. Oh my gosh! "...You know, where people play games with the night... god, it was too hot to sleep... I turned around and she said, 'Why do you always end up down at Nick's Cafe?'... Catch the Blue Train... look for me, Somewhere down the Crazy River..." ~"Somewhere Down the Crazy River" by Robby Robertson. Also, drinking a gallon of "Mountain Blast" Powerade will turn your poo neon green. Well, that's the day I'm going to die. ~Sources say they did not have enough bread. Name: Kelly. They're both fucking close to water. Har. Like myspace.com which is pretty fucking gay but I signed up awhile back and then my yahoo! account was hacked/fucked/destroyed and when SL told me he was updating his tonight I decided I may as well do the same. Alright, this is probably the most fucked up one to date, only because it's so fantastical... if that's a word."

No, It's Completely Baked

Oh Man, It Is Snowing. It's 16 F outside!! Yay!!

Guess what kids?! SL is coming tomorrow! So will I! *wink*

I went to Zuey's last night to get my boyscout popcorn, and GG and I hung out for awhile. It was KL's first day back, and it was good to see her back behind the wood. GMc met me there, and we stayed for about an hour and then s l o w l y drove to my house (7 miles) in the terrific snow. It snowed about 4 inches from five thirty p.m. to this morning. Yay! I made stuffed shells and tortellini, and then we debated for an hour on what movie to watch. We finally decided on The Graduate, which subsequently is probably the best movie I've ever seen this year besides National Treasure. The Graduate has so many awesome quotes! Like the one I used for my title, where Mr. Braddock is telling Ben that his idea for marrying Elaine is half-baked, and Ben replies, "No, It's completley baked." I love it. What a great movie. I think I'm becoming a big Dustin Hoffman fan! Apparently this was the movie that made him a big star. How exciting! I can't believe it took me this long to see it.

SL is coming tomorrow. Yes.

08 December 2005

I Totally Stole This I'm not Going to Lie.

From Sarah Silverman's Appearance on Jay Leno (12:25 EST)

Things that Old Jewish Women and Young Black Men have in common:
  • Cadillacs
  • Drinking Orange Soda
  • All their friends are dying
  • Penchant for diamonds and bling and things
  • Crazy about their grandkids
  • Very white sneakers
  • Track suits
  • They do their hair like this (pat a 'fro or tease an updo)

Oh my god, she is one hot Jewish girl. Too bad I'm a straight Catholic girl - but the thought is SO right in so many ways... *sigh*

07 December 2005

Salt would be better if it wasn't so Salty.

Okay now I will tell you about last night.

Decided to go to karaoke at Brewstirs on High because... well, I like it. Txt msged O and he wanted to go so I picked him up around nine fifteen and we headed over. It was snowing like a mug. KP and T met us there later, around ten I think. D*Martin was there also. We all had a wonderful time. O left around eleven to go to the Hot Spot, but that was okay.
T pissed me off because he said that shit about long distance relationships, but whatever, he's not my favorite person in the world and I think he's playing my best good friend, KP, but what can I do? I warned her and she knows it so I just sit and wait to either 1) be proven wrong or 2) provide a shoulder to cry on. That is how a good friend acts. (She already knows all this, we talked about it earlier today.) But T was commenting on how I was "all over" D*Martin, which was just not true. D*Martin and I were sitting next to each other, and we touch a lot, but I can't think of anything that I would do with/to him or whatever that I wouldn't do in front of SL. Probably wouldn't fuck around w/him so much (we do that stupid little kid thing like "I'm not touching yooooou.") because I'd be busy touching SL... but that's it. I'm no cheater and I'm really fucking committed to this relationship! Damnit! Anyway.

I sang a whole fuckin' bunch of times, and it was awesome. I kicked major ass on "I Will Survive" and "I'll Be Home for Christmas." I didn't know I could sing that Christmas song so well, but I rocked - I usually rock though.

I really had a great time last night. KP and/or T were paying for the pitchers, and I ended up spending nothing. It's cool, she knows I'll get her back. That's how we roll. I did two shots, it was great times. I wasn't drunk at the end of the night either, just a bit tipsy, and made it home just fine with no worries... except I was effing starving. Made some shitty nachos, ate, went to bed.

Woke up this morning and found out I'm not pregnant. Awesome. I wasn't worried that I was, I didn't even have the slightest thought about it, but it's always nice to know. Now I have cramps and I'm craving salt like a damn... something that likes salt... French Fry. One time I told my friend JAFH that salt would be so much better if it wasn't so salty. Hence, the title of this post. W00t.

I'm going back to being a drunk.

Alright, I can't stand these dreams that I can remember. Fuckin' crazy shit. I was convinced I was pregnant when I woke up. Thankfully, not so. Anyway.

I dreamt I was at work, but instead of people having "cubicles" they had "areas" with nice wooden desks, sitting chairs and couches and nice lamps and rugs and stuff. But it was in the same office as I work now. My boss DE brought his wife and his little boy to the office, and the baby was running all over the place. I started hanging out with him, and he loved me. He would follow me every where (he just started walking about 2 months ago) and he would fall over and get back up and run after me. We walked to the Chinese buffet that was down the hall, and he loved crab rangoon (I think this was me still being hungry for Chinese from yesterday's lunch.) He was wandering around the office, and then we decided to nap. DE's wife found me and him sleeping on a couch, content. DE thought we were cute but yelled at me to get back to work (he never yells.) As I was going back to my office, his wife says, "Oh by the way congratulations on your little one!" and I said "Thanks!"

Strange shit I tell ya what.

Anyway, the only other thing I have to say is fuck you to everyone who thinks a long distance relationship isn't real. Fuck you.

I Have One Thing to Say.

Fuck your sister, Fuck your dog. I was a bit pissed off when I made this last night after getting home from karaoke.
this is an audio post - click to play

06 December 2005

Angelfire = Shit Shitty Shit

Angelfire sucks.

Here is where I have a new photo album: Photobucket

Bah. I probably won't use the Angelfire one any more but I will leave the pics that are there up on it. Fucking stupid Angelfire.

When Jesus said "Love Thy Neighbor" I don't think he meant doggy style.

Well Sunday night was interesting. Karaoke was dead, really dead. I got to sing eight times! I spent most of the night talking to BR, and I was happy because he's finally over that angry drunk phrase, even though he's still on the drunk phase. We talked about all kinds of things, from working at Dairy Queen (we both worked there from ages 15 til 21, but about 20 years apart!) to his daughter, to SR doing my hair. We really covered a wide range of topics! And it was great because BR and I haven't sat down and talked like that in a really long time. I was proud of him too because he stopped drinking 1) before he ran out of money and 2) before he was completely trashed, and he drank coffee for the rest of the night.
Yesterday I pretty much did nothing, sat on the couch and drank beer while I watched "Chicago" and "Who's Line is it Anyway?" and "Iron Chef." The Iron Chef was really good this time, they had battle blue crab and it made me so frickin' hungry for Chinese food, even though it was Iron Chef Italian versus the Thai King & Queen's Royal Food Critic. The Thai food looked way better than the other food, but the Iron Chef won anyway. Sometimes I think it's rigged because I would much rather eat the competitor's meal than the Iron Chef's, but he wins anyway! Oh well. I was glad it was crab because lately the battles have been tofu or eggplant or weird asian fish that I've never heard of... that's just not fun for my brain. I like to watch battles with things I like to eat or would like to try.
I talked to SL this morning, and he told me he passed out at work yesterday. I think he needs to treat his body a lot better, but he doesn't really have a choice... well, kinda. He never sleeps because of the PTSD, and it's taking a toll on him. Plus he gets fucked up often and he doesn't sleep then either. He needs sleep! His body is just gonna shut down one of these days, and it won't be pretty. I try to tell him, but like any typical man, he doesn't listen.
I had a strange dream last night. GG and I were on our way to this church event/dinner. She was driving my big pimped out white and gold SUV, but it was special because blind people could drive it - The truck would turn and stop and it even had sensors to make it stop quickly if someone cut you off or something like that. Just like a sighted person would be driving it! The SUV was so big that GG, Wendell and I sat three across, and I was having issues because Wendell had fleas that were the size of house flies. We finally got to the church, which happened to be near Westgate Park in the Hilltop. Everything was decorated in white and silver and everyone (including us) was wearing maroon shirts and khaki pants or skirts. Wendell had a maroon collar on because her fur is kinda khaki colored. We had to register/sign in whatever, and the girl behind the table kept insisting that Wendell and GG were some other girl and her dog, and was trying to get them to go to a different section, even though her tickets matched mine. Then I saw SL across the way and I looking right at him when my phone started ringing and I was wondering why he was calling me when he was looking straight at me... then I realised he was calling me in real life and I woke up.

05 December 2005

this is an audio post - click to play

04 December 2005

Never Drive Faster than your Guardian Angel can Fly.

Sunday, I was sick as death. I thought I was going to die, seriously. I woke up at 6am, feeling icky in the tummy. So I don't have to go into detail, let's just say I was so sick that I really considered setting up camp in front of the toiley. Truley. By nine pm my fever had risen to 103.4 F, and I wanted to die, but instead my dad brought me ginger ale and Tylenol, and my fever went down to 99.1 F by midnight.

Monday I was fine, but just worn out from being so sick the day before. I did nothing.

Tuesday I went to karaoke at Brewstir's on High with O. It was very fun, except for the stuff about SL that pissed me off. I talked to these very nice boys who are also in real estate, and one of them was hitting on me and doing a really good job. I appreciated his kindness especially when I told him I was taken and he didn't even stop being nice. That was manly of him. I ended up talking to these two other dudes and they bought me a beer and some shots (as previously mentioned in that other post) and it was all good. O and I went to Hot Spot and I was trashed (as previously mentioned as well.)

Wednesday... I did nothing.

Thursday I had to have a beer, work was just too stressful. So I went to Zuey's and guess who was there?! KT! He had gotten fired the night of the Michigan/OSU game, but he's back now, yay yay yay. GMc was coming over for dinner and met me there around seven. KL ended up coming in and I was very happy because I haven't seen her in about two months. Yay! She's excited to meet SL, and she's coming back to work this week. I'm so happy! GMc and I went home to eat chicken dinner but I didn't feel like cooking so we went to Fiesta Jalisco instead. I've been there three times since I got back from Florida. I fucking love that restaurant. After dinner we headed to Eldo's, where I had two beers and was tired of drinking. I pretty much hung out with D*Martin, Poke, and their friends, and it was alright. GG came in and I talked to her a little bit, and Moose came in but I wanted to stay away from him cuz of that thing that happened the other week, I'm still not down with it.
D*Martin and I were talking, and he told me that he had wanted to hook up with me before, but he was waiting for me to get back from Florida. Apparently he thought I would have a terrible time there, and when I came back he could just pull up quick to retrieve it. Since this was not the case, I guess now he just has a crush on me. He hasn't tried anything though, and I think that's very nice of him.

Friday I did nothing.

Saturday I got my hair done in the afternoon:
I love the red and gold look, it's totally awesome. I'm so happy with the results. Saturday night was my company Holiday Party (not Christmas since we do have a Jewish kid workin' for us!) at Hyde Park. I was expecting more, food-wise, but my Veal Chop was delicious. The sides left much to be desired and everyone who got steak felt that theirs was way over cooked. It was alright though, open bar (yee!) and I had 2 Absolut Mandarin and Cranberry and five or six glasses ($18 each) of White Zinfandel...mmmm... Yeah. I took GMc as my date, and we had a very good time. We sat with DJ and his wife, and KG and her man. I took some pics, look for those on the album page Monday night. The only thing that I didn't like about the party was the fact that WR got trashed and for some reason brought up this party VM had a year and a half ago where I lost my panties and my jeans due to pot brownies and a kid named Brandon. I don't know WHY WR has to bring it up, but he always does. His ass was passed out on the lawn at that party, so he has no room to talk. At least I didn't get drunk.
There was an ice storm while we were inside partying, so GMc drove home because being from Canada he has much experience driving on slick roads. I was more than happy to let him! I still had to drive home from his house to mine, but it's only about seven miles and the roads were pretty wet by that time so it was all good. However, I think hills in areas where snow and ice are expected should be outlawed, that's just my opinion.

Today was family picture day at the JC Penney's. I don't mind taking pictures, but for some reason, every year, I always look like I'm 40 years old. I look about 20 lbs heavier and so wrinkly, it's weird. I hope the pics come out alright, they weren't too great last year but oh well. I had rock star hair for these pics, oh yeah. After that we went to eat at Ruby Tuesday's where I had a bison burger. Oh my gosh, bison is so good! Much better than beef! I think I may start buying it just for myself because I loved it. Yum. My little brother got his driver's license on the 1st, so my parents got him a keychain w/his own key on it, and a visor clip that says, "Never drive faster than your guardian angel can fly." Words to the wise.

Tonight, karaoke. Yup.

Update! Update! Update!

Yee-haw!

I have successfully rearranged my photo albums.

Now, click here to see pictures of me and my friends.

Click here to see pictures of all my super animal friends!

Ooooooh yeaaaah. I rule. I also posted five new pics for y'all - I have new awesome hair, it's red and gold, and I'm so fucking thrilled with it!

Me looking angry - my new profile photo!

02 December 2005

Santa!


That's me on the left in the blue sweater and KG on the right in her coat. Santa came to our work this morning! Yay!!! I'm makin' a dumb face cuz the lady takin' the picture couldn't figure out how to work it and then all of a sudden it snapped when I was talking. Sheesh.

I'm Desperate

...and I'm not above asking for help.

There is no possible way I can afford to save my money to both get a divorce and move away from Ohio... so...

Kelly's Divorce Fund






I appreciate everything, I highly doubt I'll get anything from anyone, but hey, every single cent will help. A retainer for a lawyer costs at least $1,100.00 US Dollars, and moving could cost me $5,000.00. This will be difficult, but if I can get help, I will be eternally grateful and I PROMISE this money will go towards nothing but the divorce. Seriously. I'll even send you a copy of the divorce papers if you donate!

01 December 2005

I Need to See a Professional... Oh wait, I am.

Alright, this is probably the most fucked up one to date, only because it's so fantastical... if that's a word. And there are dolphins, which I really fucking hate.

The dream:

I am back living in Macedonia. My entire town has been submersed by what once was a little Creek (Indian Creek to be exact) when it apparently kept filling up and filling up over the last twelve years. The only house not to be submersed belongs to my friend from childhood, Jenny. Since her house rose above the water, she crowned herself Queen of Macedonia, and is not a royal bitch. Her sister Michele is her slave, along with her mom and dad. The tops of the trees look like seaweed floating on the water, though they aren't floating, obviously. The water is dary grayish-blue, only a shade darker than the dreary sky. A little boy floats past me. I have special shoes that enable me to walk on water. I pick up the boy, he's not hurt, just tired, and I carry him around with me. As we walk down what was formerly Crow Drive towards Route 82, a dolphin noses up from under the water. It's a flying dolphin, but his wings are damaged so he swims over to where we are. It seems that dolphins can now speak english, and he tells us not to go to Route 82 because something terrible is going on there. The thing about that is we have to go to Route 82 because I need something to drink and that's the only place to find a store or a vending mahcine. So we walk on. The dolphin goes the oppostite way, squeeking warnings the whole time. When we get to Route 82, the stores and restaurants are all built up on top of their old buildings, but they are all closed except the convenient store. We go to the convenient store so I can get some Diet Rockstar. I leave the little boy outside and he floats away, laughing. I go into the store and it's just like I remember it from childhood, except yellower and it's connected via a long long hallway to all the other businesses. The store seems deserted. I walk to the back looking for the vending machine, and encounter a scary monster type man. He's about seven feet tall and looks like the dudes from the new TheraFlu commercials (human but troll-like and monsterous.) He tells me the vending machine is defunct, they now have a pay-refridgerator. I put a quarter in, a computer screen pops up, and I choose Sprite since there are no energy drinks on the list. I hear a click, and the door opens. Four cans fall out, grape pop, sprite, rockstar, and diet rockstar. I look at the guy and he doesn't notice so I take all the cans and put them in my pockets. I run to the front, down the hallway, and when I get to the bar/restaurant and the end of the hall, the monster has started chasing me. I hide at a table with cowboys (dressed in cow-skin chaps and all) and miraculously the monster passes me by even though I really don't blend in at all. Then I hear an alarm going off, but it's just SL's custom ring tone on my phone in real life.

Amazing.