I'm so strung out I feel as if I have done about twelve lines of cocaine in an hour. However, the last time I even looked at coke was July 23rd 2005, so I know it can't be true. But I have the tickly head feeling, the hyper yet exhausted thing, the need to eat without the feeling of hunger. I'm not even ON anything!! Goddamnit.
I talked to MMA yesterday. He says he won't contest anything. This is good. However he is currently technically homeless because his girlfriend of seven months left him this week and he was living with her. So I don't know where to send his papers to be served. Oh well. We'll figure it out. He was actually civil, I appreciated catching him in an emotionally raw state of being.
Tonight I went to see O's band play at Eldo's. It was fuckin' great. I have a headache now though because I was sitting right in front of the speakers. That was sucky but I took like 953 pictures so those will be up on Monday. (I know I still need to put the other ones up, sorry.) I met O's little brother and Lady K showed up too, plus a few other folks. It was a fun time. I had a Bloody Mary made by John and a Harpoon Ale.
My head is killing me but I can't sleep. I almost feel like puking from this pain. I've had this headache since Thursday night. I don't know what it is. I'm thinking it may be the fact that I have gone out the last few nights, and I end up smoking a lot, whereas during the day I'm really barely smoking at all, and this causes a sort of nicotine hangover. Who knows. I'm tired of smoking cigarettes though. Today was the first day in about eight years that I have actually had the thought pass through my head "I want to smoke a joint" and it was weird because I never smoke pot and I don't like it really and I always turn it down. Oh well.
SL and I finally had the big serious conversation about who is going to move where, and I think we have it figured out. He will move here with me, because I have a job and a career and a life and everything already set up, and he doesn't really have any of that. We will live in Ohio for about a year, maybe more or less (depends on my lease term) and save our money and then move to New Jersey in 2007. It's better than me uprooting my whole life to move to Florida for a year and then move to Jersey in 2007. Why move twice if there is no reason? This all works out quite well and I am thrilled. SL seems to be too. He keeps talking about when he moves here in April. Hopefully the next plane ticket I buy is a one-way ticket from PBI to CMH! I'm worried though, because he lost his job again (not his fault this time, there was a miscommunication and no one told the upper mgmt that he was taking a vacation and he was marked as "no-show" and was promptly fired upon returning from Jersey.) I trust he will get one when he moves here, but I'm still worried because of what MMA did to me. I don't want to end up supporting another one. I really couldn't deal with that.
Pics soon. Shout out to Barbie for donating $1.00 to the Divorce Fund if I haven't already mentioned it. I only need $899.33 more to get the lawyer! Come on loyal readers! ;)
Late. Kel.
PS- I have this song in my head so here are the lyrics:
"Insensitive"
How do you cool your lips
After a summer’s kiss
How do you rid the sweat
After the body bliss
How do you turn your eyes
From the romantic glare
How do you block the sound of a voice
You’d know anywhere
(chorus)
Oh I really should have known
By the time you drove me home
By the vagueness in your eyes
Your casual good-byes
By the chill in your embrace
The expression on your face
That told me you might have some advice to give
On how to be insensitive
How do you numb your skin
After the warmest touch
How do you slow your blood
After the body rush
How do you free your soul
After you’ve found a friend
How do you teach your heart it’s a crime
To fall in love again
Oh you probably won’t remember me
It’s probably ancient history
I’m one of the chosen few
Who went ahead and fell for you
I’m out of vogue, I’m out of touch
I fell too fast, I feel too much
I thought that you might have some advice to give
On how to be insensitive
(chorus)
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