The Russian

I had a dream that I was living in Russia. Everyone around me was speaking Russian, and so was I, but I could completely understand what they were saying. I was at a hotel that was (along with the other hotels and bars in town) having a karaoke contest. I was set to win all these awards because I was the best singer in town. I was at one hotel and I saw my ex boyfriend, JN. He was "chasing" me around (really just quickly and sneakily following) and trying to tell me that he was sorry and he was still in love with me after all these years (that would be five years) and would I please take him back, etc. etc. etc. Well I knew that I wasn't in the mood to be in love with him, and if he actually talked to me face to face I would end up falling back in love with him, so I did my best to avoid him. I ducked into the ladies' restroom, which was very fancy with perfume and flowers and little soaps and a girl who handed out towels and all that. There was a window in the door to the bathroom, and through it I saw my friend R(D)B and called her to come in. I was asking her what to do about JN and she said, "Go to the bar next door I was just there and nobody you know is there." So I headed over there, and when I walked in I knew every single person in there. Not from real life though, just from the dream. I got up on stage where the KJ looked like Vin Diesel, and tried to sing "American Pie" but I couldn't clear my throat in time to make sound come out. I ended up missing my cue and asked him to start over. This dude came up on stage and he was like, "I'm next get off the stage" and I tried to tell him that my song wasn't over I just needed to restart and he was literally trying to push me off the stage. I punched him and took off out the door. Now for some reason I was dressed like a bag lady, with three layers of clothes and a big suitcase, backpack, small purse, and I was wearing a beret. This Indian girl (from India) named Candy (who was actually a girl from this show I saw on TV in real life) was walking next to me and trying to talk to me and I was like "I know who you are lady, do you want my card?! Here's my fucking card!" and kept walking. She called after me that she would telephone me later that week and I just thought to myself "Whatever." I tried to get into the next bar that I came to, but there was this Russian boy sitting on the stoop and he said that the only way for me to get in was to fall in love with him. So I told him I loved him and he said no, I had to prove it was true love, and I woke up from the dream trying to figure out a way to convince this boy that I was in love with him.

I give up.