31 January 2006

Let's Do This Again

Once again, another year and I still hate February. It starts with my birthday (shit) followed by Valentine's Day (shitty) and ends up all short and shriveled (shittiest.) I fucking hate this month. I even tried to have an optimistic mood, a happy outlook, thinking "Gee this will be great. My swell boyfriend will be here smack dab in the middle of the month, I'll get to spend Valentine's Day with the one I love, etc. etc. etc." Yeah. Right. I'm fucking miserable.

My awesomest best friend in the entire world (she was this anyway, but she is well deserving of public announcement) made my year by donating to the Kelly's Divorce fund. I now only have to save slightly more than half of the cost. Big Shout Out to My Squaw! *wink*

Anyway. Tonight I wanted to go to Zuey's for my birthday. However, I have no funds. I got paid, and my fucking paycheck wasn't enough to cover my bills. So I got a Check Into Cash loan (stupid stupid bangs head on wall stupid stupid) again and now I have about... $40 to last me until February 15th. That means that when SL comes to visit, I won't be able to pay for anything. We won't be able to go out for Valentine's day, nothing. I'm just going to quit smoking cold turkey starting after my last pack (I have one unopened in my purse and one unopened in my freezer.) I guess that will save me $100 a month. This is fucking bullshit. Also I was supposed to have a happy birthday outing on the 12th, but I won't be able to because I won't have any money left by then. Goddamnit.

So... to conclude... yes, I do have $xxx in my divorce fund, but I can't touch it because it's for the divorce. As far as I'm concerned, that money doesn't even exist for me. It's property of the lawyer! Oh well.

Fucking February.


Past birthday experiences:
  • 2005: Alone, at karaoke.
  • 2004: At my brother-in-law's house, with my drunk husband, ending in my banging my brother-in-law.
  • 2003: My 21st birthday! I spent it drinking and drinking until I relised that my designated driver and my husband were both drunker than I was. I gagged myself with my finger til I puked and then ate four cheeseburgers, puked again, somehow ate another burger, and drove myself and the drunkos home.
  • 2002: Did nothing, I was saving for buying a house.
  • 2001: Hung out at the Cafe' 1904 (seedy ass bar on the south end) with roommate and boyfriend and some old people.
  • 2000: Spent with boyfriend. I believe that was the day I took his virginity.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

You are never alone and the month will only be as shitty as you make it. It's all a matter of perspective. Sure, yu aren't divorced. But...you're closer than you were last week. You (mostly) have your health, you have good friends, a house and kitties who love you! You have a successful career when many your age are still home with Mommy and Daddy and you drive a sexy car! Rule # 1: Don't sweat the small stuff Rule # 2: Everything's small stuff. Besides, frowning and crying will give you premature wrinkles!