I've been sick since Friday morning, and I'm so tired... tired of being in the house, tired of being sick, tired of being tired. Stupid.
Thursday I went to Zuey's with GMc for a little while and it was alright. Got to talk to KL for a little bit, that was okay. She was really busy because of dart league being there. Apparently she works Tuesdays now too, and some lady was there and they were watching American Idol and this woman said I should go on it. I don't know who it was and KL couldn't remember. Oh well. Hippy came in with a friend of his, Tiny. Tiny is very nice. Hippy was trying to get business as usual. Oh well. We went over to Eldo's around ten-ish, and did some karaoke. It was all good, and I was not drunk, in fact I only had about six beers, one cocktail, and one shot all night.
Everything came falling down after I sang "Someone Saved My Life Tonight" by Elton John... I don't know why, but I just busted into tears and I was outside talking to SL, crying because I can't get this stupid divorce because for some reason I can't save my money (even though I'm not going out like I used to, I'm smoking less, I've only ate out twice in the last three weeks...) and at that point MMA hadn't returned my phone calls for four days. I was so upset because I feel like I can't be everything I want to be for SL because of this stupid marriage. I cried a lot and finally left. Everyone was trying to console me and stuff, but it just wasn't working. I went home and cried some more.
I've been crying a lot in fact. I haven't really stopped crying since Thursday night. And I'm crying over stupid things... it started Wednesday actually, when I was crying over "Skating with Celebrities" and then the whole MMA thing, today I cried because my computer wasn't working properly... it's ridiculous. I think I'm on the verge of having another nervous break down and I'm a little worried because I'm completley alone.
2 comments:
GF, you are not alone!! I have been sick for the past 3 weeks, failed my 1st test in Basic Math, and BW is being a asshole to me!! I will share in your misery!...I will get you the information you need to do your own divorce that is way cheaper then you have encountered. Good for you on saving $$...wish I knew how. Me-I think $$ grows on trees...anywho, let me leave ya w/some friendly positive reinforcements.."Chin up, head high..God only gives ya what ya can handle! Don't sweat the small stuff!OK I'm off to get you the info ( I have a friend that is doing her own divorce)..I'll get back to ya, Kel. Take care!
I read a book once called Care Of The Soul by Thomas Moore. I really liked his take on depression. His advice wasn't to fight it, but to embrace it, accept it, try to understand it and then move on. Don't fear it. It's a natural part of life.
As for the money saving, open up an ING account and start off by having them take $25.00 a week. Believe me, you won't notice it. Then you can eventually increase it bit by bit. Don't make any plans for the money that's there, just be satisfied in knowing that you're building a cushion.
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