Again, half asleep.

New bright red hair - I'm half asleep, not stoned!

This road is long and dusty - sometimes the soul, it must be cleansed.

"...and I long to feel that water rushin' over me again. Down with the old man, up with the new. Raised to walk in the way of light and truth. I didn't see no angel, just a few saints on the shore..." ~ "Baptism" Kenny Chesney feat. Randy Travis

*SIGH*
This has been an interesting week.

Monday
Recovering from MF last night. He came to El Dorado's and kissed me straight on my lips a whole bunch of times. Basically professed his undying love. As he sobered up he stopped that kind of behavior. I almost died of a bent heart. GG showed up late, around midnight I think, and I had been drinking whisky so I was in a sad mood. I need to stop drinking whisky. GG was nice enough to buy my broke ass a whisky. I was greatful. I like GG, she's awesome. If I'm in a sad mood or a bad mood, she can usually bring me up, even if its just a little bit. We're both incredibly silly girls. And we sing terrible rap songs in a terrible way. It's hilarious. Not much happened on Monday during the day though. I don't even remember what I did Monday night.

Tuesday
Went grocery shopping after work and wrote a check over so I could have some freakin' money. My last paycheck ran out so fast it was ridiculous. TM and MF came over for dinner, and when they arrived MF was completely plastered and TM was halfway there. I made chicken and corn and asparagus. I was quite pleased with my dinner. TM left around nine, and MF passed out on the couch. I baked a cake and then started drinking. Apparently I fell asleep in the chair because around one a.m. MF woke me up and we went upstairs to sleep. He held me all night long and kissed on me a little bit. It hurt.

Wednesday
Woke up next to MF, he was happy because it was sunny out so that meant he could go and mow a bunch of lawns to get cash. I had four missed calls on my cell phone, and when I checked the log they were all from the same number - J*R! He left three messages, one at 3:01 am, one at 3:08 am, and one at 3:41 am. That was fucking weird. I left him a message. I took MF back to the hotel and dropped him off. Then I headed to the gas station, where I tried to use my debit card to get gas. Thank god I had $5 on me because the pump rejected my card. When I got to work, I logged onto my online bank statement and my worry was confirmed - my check to the IRS had gone through and I was negative $2.29. I was not really upset though because I knew it was coming and I was glad that I didn't have to wait for it to go through any more. I called J*R a few times during the day and left silly messages on his voicemail. Wenesday night I went to Kroger and bought paper towels, toilet paper and feminine products just so I could write another check over. I went to Zuey's after that. It was not too bad. The usual people were there, like BR and this other boy Nicholas. Nicholas brought his sister, Alexandra, because it was her 21st birthday. I think I was drunk but I can't remember - I think that means I was... oh well. MF showed up, and I almost had a cow because I thought I wouldn't see him for a week. He was being rather unfriendly to me though. He usually acts like that sometimes around really beautiful pretty girls, like KP (the bartender.) I went home and I do believe I cried. Can't remember that either. Taco Bell was involved. Thinking back, J*R never called me. I wonder if TS told J*Rthat we fucked?

Thursday
Another great day at work. I can't wait for LF to fucking put her two weeks in. I have a great idea for a new way to run the office and I think it would work really really well. As soon as she tells DE, I'm gonna run my ass in there and pitch it to him. Oh yes. Then I will be rich rich rich. Yay! Went to Zuey's at night, of course, and nobody was there really. SR was there and I talked to her a little bit about marriage and divorce and stuff. The weird tarot girl T was there also, and she did a reading for K (the new male bartender on Mondays.) They went out to her truck, supposedly to get something, and they never came back. It kinda grossed us all out because K is fucking hotter than shit and she looks like a turtle with glasses. Very odd. We hoped they weren't doing anything icky. MF showed up around one a.m. which surprised me because I really thought he was going back to Mansfield. I had been talking to RJ about how to rid TM from my life and MF just randomly walked in. I gave him the rest of my beer. He wanted to come over, but he didn't want to leave at that moment. He told me to leave the door unlocked for him. I went home and ate my Taco Bell, and waited. I was about to lock the door when he came in. We slept upstairs, and as usual, he held me and kissed on me a little. I made him touch my boob. He got all erected and was embarassed. I told him that my boob would be offended if he didn't get excited from touching it. Every single time MF and I sleep in the same bed, he always holds me. We fall asleep together like that, and wake up with our backs to each other. A little weird, but whatever. I gave up hope on him this week and it hurts.

Friday
Finally paid. I'll write on today, tomorrow.

I stopped keeping track at eleven...

Oh my gosh! Yes, I know it's been over a month since I posted. I will say this in my defense, I was very busy. Very VERY busy.

I took my first airplane trip ever, from Port Columbus to Logan in Boston, Mass. The ride was okay. I was never really afraid of the plane ride, mostly afraid of the airport. Going out wasn't so bad, but I missed my flight on the way back because all my paperwork said 6:45 pm and my flight was actually at 6:45am so I had to spend a long time in Logan Airport on Stand-By but I was home in Columbus by 7pm that night - yay!

What has happened in the last month... wow. I don't even know where to start. I guess I can just start talking and hopefully most of it will come to me as I go along. I'll try and go in order but I am making no promises!

Let's see... Well, before I left I actually got a chance to sleep with G the Canadian twice. The first time was fucking awesome. He is a champ, I tell you what. He talked dirty to me, which was basically him rattling off a bunch of facts about Canada. Somehow, that was really hot to me. Don't ask, I've always loved Canada. The second time was not so awesome because foreplay consisted of him grossing me out with ketchup and eating a steak with mustard. when we were done, he told me we should just be friends. I cried for a really long time. We're still friends, and actually we have hung out a whole lot lately. Maybe I am finally starting to make his heart do flips (that was his reason for being friends only - I didn't make his heart do flips) or something. We have a small road trip to Kentucky tentatively planned for this weekend. We'll see how that goes.

I slept with J*R (the Eminem guy) a few more times, and it's all well and good. He's a super nice guy but he has an issue with returning phone calls. He apologized for it, called himself a dick, and we moved on. Before that, he had actually introduced me to his friends. It was kinda weird, being the only girl, but I felt kinda special. He even had his arm around me in front of them. Supposedly the reason why he stopped calling me back is because he thought I wanted some kinda commitment. I would, but I don't know if he's the one. Especially after the last two Fridays. Last Friday (week before 2 days ago) I hung out with J*R and TS at TS's house. We all blew down and drank some beers and had a wonderful time. J*R played video games while TS and I talked and listened to music. Then TS went to bed and J*R tried to fuck me which was unsuccessful because you can't really get it up when you've been blowing down. I got off though, which was okay, and then I left. J*R wanted me to stay overnight there, but there was no place to sleep so I just went home. He apologized, as usual, for the limp dick. It's a running thing, kids, Jon and his limp dick. He needs to fuck me when he hasn't been doing drugs. Maybe when he hasn't even been drinking... who knows. Anyway. This past Friday, I went to Zuey's after my date with a new friend, CW. TS was there so I sat by him and we were just shooting the breeze and laughing at white trash that was blowing him off and stuff like that. He started talking about how last Friday he heard me moaning and that got his dick so hard that he had to come out and see what I was doing. Apparently at the moment he came out I was giving J*R a blowjob and TS had the mad desire to come up behind me and start fucking me, but he didn't because he wasn't sure how I would react. Well apparently this thought was enough to get him all excited again because all nine inches was hanging over the side of his leg inside his jeans just waiting for me to jump on it. We finished our beers, tabbed out, and came back to my place for almost three hours of incredibly hot sex where I got off a lot of times (I stopped counting at eleven) and he didn't get off before we went to sleep. Around 6:45am the next morning he woke me up in that special way. He finally got off and we fell back to sleep. The only shitty part was when he got up to go to work, he thought he was late and literally ran downstairs, got dressed, and bolted. I was semi-offended but oh well. He'll be back, I hope.

Who else is there... Oh, well, I fucked SJ for the first time since Christmas (or was it Thanksgiving?) and we had a little heart to heart and he said he thinks he's in love with me, but then he hasn't called in 2 weeks... I fucked TM's friend CS, who was very cute and very nice but who showed up at Zuey's two days later with some girl and completely ignored me. I think that's about it... yeah.

I know you're all dying to hear what happened to SB and me. Well, nothing really. We talked a little bit before I left for vacation, but nothing important. He called me while I was ON vacation and he was drunk and crying and rambling about bullshit and I was like, half asleep but I had no idea what to say. Talked to him the next day and he said he was sorry for calling me at 3am and he missed me and couldn't wait til I get back. Yep, the motherfucker has not returned a single one of my calls NOR has he called me. I saw him at Zuey's the day after I got back and he didn't even recognize me. When he realized who I was he said I was looking good but he really had nothing to say. As he was leaving I was like, "Hey we should get together and fuck sometime" and he goes, "Well gee that was blunt" and I said "Well SB whenever I'm nice to you and girly to you, you blow me off. Maybe if I'm kinda trashy and bitchy you'll pay attention." He looked confused and said, "I'll call you later." and left. Applause for me! I have no idea why I even bother to think about him anymore. But I get so confused, like, the way he talks and the way he acts are so opposite, but only 75% of the time... I guess that's my answer. But when I was on vacation and he called me up the next day, sober, he was like, "I guess I can't date anyone, can I? I'm just not meant to date." To which my response was, "Well SB you should just date me. I'm ridiculously cute, devistatingly charming, I have nice tits, tight pussy, I'm rich and well educated, and I love to suck cock." And do you know what HE said? "Those things are all true, but really you're the only girl who is ever there for me no matter what." Now how the fuck can he not care one single bit but still say that shit, and not even being saying it simply to get me in the sack?! I could understand if we were about to fuck or he was trying to take me home or something, but its all so very random. I hate boys!!!

What else? Can't think of anything. I'm sure it will come to me later.

After all this time...

Well, it has been something like two weeks since I updated this thing and since I'm rollin' balls and should be drunk (but I don't feel it) I figured now is as good a time as any.

Tuesday - 3/8 - Made all my phone calls Monday, and most people weren't really upset - just surprised - and only person got angry. The rest of them thanked me for being honest and letting them know. I felt better. This is the first day I could drink since I started that shitty medication. TV is trying to get the Tuesday show at Conti's, so I went up there to support him. TM was supposed to run the show, but TV is anal retentive and ended up mostly running it anyway. I got totally completely plastered. I drank martinis all night long and a few shots too, and by the end of the night I was like downing the 16 oz pounders of Coors Light. SB called me, surprise of a lifetime, and we talked for almost an hour. He said he might come up and join me but I knew he probably wouldn't anyway. He said he doesn't really see the Danielle girlfriend bitch anymore, but who knows. SB told me he missed me, and wondered why I hadn't been at Zuey's lately. I told him about the medication and the upset vagina (haha, that's what the doctor told me!) and all that... his response was, "I'm sorry - I'm just glad you're not upset with me - is your vagina upset because she misses me?" I laughed and told him he had a big ego. He gave me his new phone number, so I guess that is something. Who knows.

Wednesday 3/9 - Started taking the antibiotics for this dumb disease. Seven days and I was supposed to be clean. However, the medication made me feel like death. D*S was in town that day too, and so I came to work slightly hung over, which passed, but then took the medication which totally fucked me up. I seriously thought about having LF or TM or someone take me to the ER, it was that bad. Went to Zuey's at around 8pm, got drunk. Finally. There was a nice homeless fellow there who gave me a can of pumpkin.

Thursday 3/10 - Medication is still kicking my ass. I call the doctor to get a new script and they're like, "well we don't know" and I convince them to give me Zithromax. I still take 2 pills this day and feel like shit again. Go to Zuey's AGAIN and get slightly drunk. Tired of not drinking beer, I've gone back to it. It's dart league night and the whole place is packed. I come in and there is an empty seat next to BR, so I go to sit down. Grady comes up and tells me its his seat but I can sit there. Spend the whole night drawing chalk art on the bar with Brian. He draws a really buff looking woman's body, and puts a silly looking head on it that highly resembles Martha Stewart. We laugh and then we are scared because it really looks exactly like Martha. I put a napkin over the head of the drawing and write "Do not Lift" on it, but people come over like, "I must see what is under there! It says do not lift so I must see it!" and then they get scared at the post-Camp Cupcake looking Martha Stewart drawing. Fun night.

Friday 3/11 - I can honestly say I don't remember Friday other than I went to dinner with my mom and dad at the Rusty Bucket in Worthington Hills... I vaguely remember driving somewhere and doing something, but I have no idea what it was... I do remember ending up at Zuey's and being slightly bored but okay, and T****r showed up. He's from back in the day when I was a head, and I was like "hell yeah". Hippy was there, and he was being kinda asshole-ish but whatever. Trevor came home with me and we tried to make out and stuff but he was super sick from drinking 8 shots of vodka in one hour.

Saturday 3/12 - I go to this place called CLS something something and order a queen-size pillowtop mattress. Only $260 (including tax and delivery charge) and I am thrilled to not have to sleep on the couch any more. I work out at The California Fitness, and then do a little grocery shopping at Kroger. Fairly boring day. Can't remember what I did Saturday night either...

Sunday 3/13 - I think I just laid around all day - I can't remember anything but watching TV. Weekends are so useless to me for things like um being productive. I did go to LF's house in BFE for awhile, then I went over to Eldo's for karaoke. Hippy was there and drunk. The homeless guy was there too. I bought JR a drink and the homeless dude a shot (and gave him $10). JR came home with me and tried to put the moves on me, but I was asleep and ended up having a scary ass dream about trying to fly to Boston but ending up on the wrong plane. JR said I was screaming in my sleep. I guess I'm really quite terrified about this trip.

Monday 3/14 - Kinda bad day at work prompts me to feel like getting fucked up. TM and I go out for Chinese at the Hunan House and have a bottle and a half of Sake and not that much food. Hilarious times, oh my gosh. He wants to get home soon he keeps saying, but I'm like right whatever. We decide that we have to do some white and plan on a small bit just enough to satiate us for the evening. Well when I find out that I got my rent.com $100 reward card, I suggest going to Dockside Dolls to get champagne and make fun of strippers while we hang out with the DJ. Good plan. I drop $90 in a matter of 3 minutes and feel rich. Strippers keep coming over to hang out and I deny them all. Strippers like champagne. TM and I end up blowing down all night and I vow to never do it again on a work night. Sleep comes late but it is deep so I guess that was okay.

Tuesday - 3/15 - TM and I go to Grovetucky to see TV's show there. He has been begging us to come for like two months. JB is running it, and he gives me the cold shoulder (supposedly I ruined his life and blah blah with this disease shit.) TV says some way outlandish shit to TM and it really upsets us. TV is completely trashed, but still, that was no reason to try and lecture TM especially since Trace isn't a saint himself. A guy named Rich hits on me a lot, and he seems nice enough, just not my type. I take his number. TM and I leave and it is just like a blah day.

Wednesday 3/16 - Another boring day, hanging out at Zuey's. KP is pregnant and so we talk about that a little bit. GG is there (she is TG's daughter) and so we get to talking. GG and I wonder why we never really became friends before. I figure it is just because I used to be such a head and hardly ever talked to anyone, then when I was done with that, I just came in on the days that she wasn't there. Plus her boyfriend lives in Rhode Island, so she has been out there a few times to visit him. GG rocks - she has to be the nicest girl I've met in a long time. She was born blind, but man, I tell you what - that doesn't stop her from doing anything. Sometimes it makes me think about what I take for granted. While I'm at The Zue, TM calls and needs to borrow my car to go talk to TV about what happened the night before. I go and get him and he drops me back at Zuey's, and when I get there this boy J*R is there. J*R looks like Eminem. And he's nice. We get to talking and by the end of the night I have his number. Score. TM comes back just about 2:15am to get me and actually spends the night at my house. In the morning...

Thursday 3/17 - Happy Saint Patrick's Day! I wake up at about 8:20am which is kind of early especially after a night of drinking, and TM is awake and raring to go. He's already done laundry, folded all my clothes AND his and gone to McDonalds for food and straightened up the living room. It's all very weird to me. I let TM borrow my car all day - DE is out of the office today so work is a breeze. Everyone is thinking about the night and drinking because of the holiday. TM and I get dinner at TGI Fridays and get some Electric Lemonades and a green beer ($1 each for the green beers!) and he takes a sip of mine and I drink 1/2 and we leave the other green beer for the waiter as a little special secret for him (yes we did let him in on it haha.) Tonight is definitely a night where people will want to dance with the white lady, so TM picks some up. He's giving out dances all night long. The DJ comes over, and a strange thing happens - when he is leaving, he kisses me. Not like a super intimate kiss or something, but a kiss right on the lips, which has never happened. I'm elated. The gang from work wants me to come up to The Jerk and they keep calling me, so we drive up there and TM drops me off so he can run a few errands. Everyone is PLASTERED. DJ professes his love to me. I laugh and do a shot. I have 4 beers, but VJ's ex-girlfriend (?) is my tab-taker and she charges me for one. This is awesome. The sucky part was that I thought TM would be back sooner than he was and I ended up waiting outside for like 45 minutes. I can't stand crowds period, especially when there is no one there that I know. Get home and see that I have missed a call from J*R. He wants to come over. He does, around maybe 2:30am, and we just hang and talk. We end up getting it on, but the intoxicating substances hinder us just a little. He spends the night... He kissed me and it was seeming like a little more than just a leading-to-sex-kiss. I hope I don't get caught up in another just to be dropped again.

Friday 3/18 - Today is actually J*R's birthday. His friend comes and gets him before I go to work. He said he would call, but he didn't, but I'm not terribly concerned. I'm going to try to not get all involved until the time is right. Work is boring again because DE still isn't back from his business trip. Most everyone showed up today, surprisingly, but they all left really early. Shit, I left at 2:30pm instead of 3:30pm - but I had nothing to do. I came home and planned on naping for about 2 hours, ended up sleeping till almost 7pm. Made some food, talked to TM, and decided to roll tonight. Picked up this strange chick KL that he has been talking to, and man, she is strange. She smelled funny. We run some errands for a couple hours and then head to Zuey's. MF is here in town and my heart soars. I wish I knew what made me be so ridiculously in love with him. Oh well. We hang at Zuey's and GG shows up after awhile. We all chill together, and tonight seems to be the night for weirdos. Some guy called "The Toolman" comes up claiming to know GG. She's like, "You're weird and I don't like you" but he won't go away. He tries to pet her dog, Wendell (a seeing-eye dog) and I'm like, "Dude don't touch the dog, she's working" but he keeps insisting that it's ok. KL goes over to the people on the other side of the bar and recruits his friends to get him away from us. The same thing happens later in the night. I think the guy is just generally off and being drunk hasn't helped him any. Haha. Another guy and his uncle come over to talk to us, and they are both drunk. One is named Tom and the uncle is named Brian. They want to touch the dog. I threaten to break their hands because I'm so tired of people not understanding how important a seeing-eye dog is. Tom has just moved here from the Cleveland area. He is so drunk, and constantly accuses me of being mean. I think he's an alright guy, just drunk, so I tell him to meet us at Eldo's on Sunday for karaoke. We'll see how that goes. The DJ played awesome music practically all night long, and I was stoked. Good night. Now I'm home, still rollin' a little, and still drinking. I'm about to be bored which is disturbing.

Late.

The Long Awaited Glossary

Hey, if Mike Straka can do it, so can I. I love you Mike.

1) White Lady - aka, blow, zood, white, powder... if you're not catching on then you are lost.
2) Beast - aka, Beast Light, Beast Ice - Milwaukee's Best Beer
3) *insert verb here* - Basically imagine me doing whatever is in asteriks - *sigh*, *grin*
4) Hits - mostly referring to some kind of substance put into the body via a small piece of paper
5) BTW - By the way

That is all I can think of right now... if you have questions, ask. Not a very good Glossary, sorry.

Cast of Characters

Me- Kel, separated charming female living with her cat in Westerville. Author.
TM- Best friend of Me, brings the white lady to dance, loves Me.
MF- Former roommate and still best friend of Me. Me is in love with Mike.
JR- Aka, Hippy. That's all there is.
FW- Friend of JR.
WR- Work friend
VJ - Former work friend, still current outside friend.
ND- Work friend.
LF- Work friend.
DJ- Work friend.
RB- Aka Brunner/RB, work friend.
DD- Work friend.
DE - Work friend.
TV- Karaoke Jockey. Friend.
JB- Karoke Jockey/CalFit trainer guy. Buff.
OG/Be*/JF - The boys who dance with us - wild campus boys. Mostly gay or bi.
SB- Fuck buddy, former love interest, irritating thing.
KP- Bartender extraordinarrie
Mc/B* - Weird old guys from the Zue.
BR- Very nice epileptic from the Zue.
TG- Vietnam vet from the Zue.
MMA - Soon to be ex-husband.

Places of Interest

The Zue - Zuey's, favorite bar just north of Clintonville.
The Jerk - Carribbean Jerk's, Lewis Center area.
Conti's - Upscale, high class crack job where there is Karaoke on Tuesdays. Columbus.
The White House - OG/Be*/JF's house.
Chateau - My House.

I tell myself that I'm a-doin' all right, just to get me through the night.

Well kids, it's about to be all over.

Just so you all know, I am NOT a wild, crazy, coke-fiend alcoholic who spends all her money on drugs and booze and that is the reason why I have not gotten a divorce. The marriage failing was NOT my fault. I tried to make it work, but he wouldn't work with me until the end and by that time it was too late.

I did get this disease from my husband and I WILL be cured as soon as I get my medication. If you have doubts about whether or not you may have it, go see your doctor, but before that CALL ME to find out just what disease it is. I will tell you all this: it's not life threatening UNLESS you let it go untreated. You can cure it with the same medication that you can cure Bronchitis with, so obviously it's not that bad. I didn't know I had it otherwise I would have let you know, trust me. I wish my husband had let me know before he gave it to me, or I wouldn't be sterile. You can take penicillin for 30 days if you're too embarrassed to go to the doctor, but then you could keep passing it on.

Next issue: My tattoo, is NOT fake, was never fake, will never BE fake. And the "Scott" that is underneath it is NOT for SB previously mentioned in this blog, but for SK my little brother. He's the only one I truely love, so piss off. Leave me the fuck alone.

Third: I hate utility companies and I would NEVER EVER suggest using them. I will be living like the amish soon, unless AEP and Columbia give me what I want - as in money back for the time I did NOT live in Little Turtle but they have both been charging me for. Fuck America.

Does anyone know how embarassing it is to have to make 15 phone calls for something unpleasant? Anyone?

You don't know how sick you make me - you making me fucking sick to my stomach...

... Everytime I think of you, I puke.

Well I am still not divorced. Almost a year and nothing. I hate Matt.

I got a tattoo on Friday. Yay! It's two flowers intertwined with the name "Scott" underneath it - and just so you all know, it's for SK my BROTHER, not SB the former fuck buddy.

I'm on yahoo! messenger with MMA right now, so I'll write more tomorrow.

Late,
Kel

PS- Wednesday, Zuey's, sometime between 9 and 10 pm I will be getting drunk. Be there or be square.

You say you want to be friends - that's a newly sharpened blade

So I don't think I ever told you all what happened to me last Thursday.

I was at Zuey's, wondering why SB hasn't called. Then he walked in and I found out - he has a new girlfriend! Well what am I supposed to do about that? Nothing really, we were supposed to be fuck buddies anyway. Just because I wanted more and he acted like he did... oh well. So I was like "hey buddy I need to talk to you" and he's like "fine." So we talked on and off at the bar, and he said he would call me later or the next day. When he woman went to the bathroom, I went over to talk to him. Before she came back, I headed over to my seat so she wouldn't think anything of it. As soon as she got back, they said a few words to each other and she stomped out acting pissy. SB walks by me and says, "That was not cool, embarassing me in front of my friends." At this point I'm so confused because I have NO idea what he's talking about. So he leaves and I stay. I miss a call from him, and so I call him on the way home from the bar. He answers, and things start out okay. Then, for no reason at all, he just starts literally screaming and yelling at me. Finally hangs up on me. I'm confused and crying and just overall upset. This sucks.

The next day SB calls me when he gets home from work. I answer the phone, and after I say "Hello" he's like, "Um, Kelly?"
"Yes."
"Before you say another word, I want to apologize. I shouldn't have yelled at you - I was irritated and I let things get out of hand. I hope you can forgive me."

What the fuck. Saturday night he was at Zuey's with Her, kissing on her and so forth. Tried to pay a little attention to me, but she kept pulling him away whenever he'd try to talk to me. Fuck everyone. I am leaving this shitty town in April and I wonder if I will come back.

Late,
Kel

I usually don't do this at work but...

OH MY DEAR LORD IN HEAVEN
I can't take this anymore.

I have another thing to add to the list of things I hate: PEOPLE.

People who feel it is their god-given right to stick their nose into EVERYTHING. People who will hear something and immediately need to know RIGHT then what I'm talking about, who I'm referring to, so on and so forth. This pisses me off to no end. I seriously may end up beating someone up. That someone shall remain nameless, but if you see them walking down the street with a black eye, just know I gave it to them. Grrr.

This is the same person who will take whatever I say, like something dumb - a quirky remark or the status message on my Yahoo! Messenger - and twist it to something really ignorant sounding and use it as their own. This makes me look bad.

So the last few days have been fairly uneventful, due mostly to the fact that I stopped drinking as of Sunday night. It's only because I have to take this medication, and if you mix alcohol with the meds it causes projectile vomiting. I have never had projectile vomiting, and I sure don't plan to purposely induce it. Fuck that.

MF was in town this weekend. I was THRILLED to say the least. I have a terrible feeling I'm still in love with him... oh well. What am I going to do? I guess I'll just wait for him to come around - which I think will be sooner than later if his actions speak louder than his words. We spent the majority of the weekend touching each other - not dirty/sexual touching but just touching in general. It was completely mutual and 90% initiated by him. I was in HEAVEN. Also this weekend I danced a little with the white lady, and ended up being awake until 10:30am on Saturday. MF and I danced with her for almost seven hours straight. Yuck. I don't know how I used to be a professional dancer. *sniff*

Last night I finally went to California Fitness. It was like torture. But I walked on the treadmill for a little over an hour, and I actually felt good afterwards. Probably killed those calories I burned with the small (teeny) plate of nachos I ate at 1am, but oh well. It's almost time for Aunt Flo to be in town so I'm giving myself some leeway on the junk food. I eat healthy ALL the time as it is - my only weakness is the sauce (for those of you who don't know, the sauce is my word for liquor.)

I think I am going to work out again tonight, but my back hurts... maybe tomorrow. It's the whole crooked spine thing you know. Anyway, later tonight I will be publishing a dictionary of all my quirky terms and such. It will be revealing - careful!

late,
Kel

Your cookies stink - they're waxy and stale.

OK. Some shit I had to get off my mind before I head a-drinking.

Things I like:

• Sheeba
• Crab Rangoon
• Sushi
• Alcohol
• Fords
• SK my brother
• My job
• WR
• Sex
• Eminem

Things I do NOT like:

• Meanies
• Kenny G
• Chevys
• Pizza
• Meat (except tube steak har har har!)
• You
• Wet things
• Slime
• LF
• Irwin Home Equity
• Dogs
• Chicken
• Boys who play with heart strings

A simple list now, if you're smart you will figure it out:

1. Donnie
2. Matt C
3. Victor
4. Lee
5. Sam
6. Al
7. Christian
8. Chris
9. BJ
10. Jerry
11. Scott-John
12. John
13. Matt M
14. Doug
15. Tony
16. Joe
17. Matt A
18. Lynn
19. Shawn
20. Tony D
21. Tony M
22. Aaron
23. Jay
24. Mike the DJ not from Dockside
25. Josh
26. Nate
27. Jonathan
28. Trace
29. Scott
30. Jeff
31. Drew
32. Matt R
33. Aaron J

If you're interested, yes, there are at least 1 or 2 missing. I suck.

When 50-Cent says, "Jump", you get on one foot and Jump Jump Jump Jump

Eventful week.
No calls from SB. He won't even answer mine. I'm being stupid and telling myself he's probably in Florida like he was supposed to be. I hate me.
Finally told LF what I really think of her. She hates me. Yay.
Got my tax return checks in the mail... $494 and $144 for 2002. I'm happy.
Got my settlement check from Carlene McLain's insurance company. She is a stupid drunk bitch who hit me with her car in December of 2003. I had to split my share of the settlement with MMA, but it is okay because I still got $2,000.
Opened my very own checking account. Finally.
Went to the gyno today... so far, no STDs (I wasn't worried anyway) but I'm awaiting test results... he gave me some medication to "rebalance the natural occurance of acids and bases" inside me... that was a new one for me.
Sigh. I've been spending TOO much time at Zuey's.
Chad threatened to kill me again on Monday.
Fucked a friend of MF's on Monday.
Skipper-do, time for the Zue.

When Dr. Dre says "Crunk", you will get the crunk...

Fuck fuckity fuck fuck fuck.

Wednesday: Day starts out okay. Fever is gone, finally. Lunchtime, drive to south Columbus to pay my insurance bill, talk to SB on the way. Set up date for later that night to meet at Zuey's and set definite date for Thursday to go to dinner at 7pm. Spend afternoon elated. Later, go to Zuey's and talk to SB for a bit. Leave to meet the crowd at The Jerk. Try to sing karaoke, realize I have no voice, cop out not once but twice on two different songs. Laugh, drink, have very nice long conversations with WR's brother, MR. Go back to Zuey's with MR. Have one drink and more talk, make out, come back to my house. Very quick sex. See my first uncircumsized penis in real life. Become bewildered. Wonder why Aaroff hasn't shown up yet. Worry. MR leaves. Worry about Aaroff some more, call about a million times, no answer. Worry even more. Sleep.

Thursday: Spend all day excited for date, call Scott, no answer. After work, head to Polaris Fashion Place to get new outfit. Spend $62 on $90 outfit, feel proud, become elated over free belt. Head home. Power has been shut off. Stupid motherfucking AEP. Never got a letter about a deposit. Ask AEP employee if he wants to put me up in his house for the night. Nervous laughter... change into new outfit, go to Zuey's with intentions of drinking mass amounts of beer (to keep warm and drunk in my cold powerless home,) call SB on the way. Still no answer. Time: 7:45pm. Motherfucker. Get to Zuey's, sit next to B.Mac and Sh*. Show everyone my new belt. Start drinking drinks, no beer yet - I'm holding off as long as possible. J* and B* show up, say hi and mention something to Sh* about SB. SB shows up. DRUNK. Talks to me, not realizing its me, aplogizes when I remind him about dinner. He's been drinking shots since 3pm. It's 8:15pm. SB falls over a lot, touches my boob, girls give me evil looks and try and convince me that one of them is his girlfriend, SB falls some more, passes out in a booth, passes out in a chair, passes out while standing next to the Golden Tee game. Falls over a lot more. Leaves. Comes back. Someone finally takes his keys. Somewhere in there a glass is broken. TM calls me. I leave to get him without paying my tab. He puts me up in hotel for the night. Sleep finally comes around 5:30am after TM and Be* have left me to rest.

Friday: Day sucks. Hate sleeping in hotels. Work is boring, but everyone likes my new outfit. Ugly looking scratch on my face, I think it came from SB when he fell one me one of six times. After work LF, me, DM, and SU (her boyfriend and roommate, respectively) go to Cincinnati to party with Federated Land Title. LF shows her face and goes away with DM . SU hangs for a sec then joins them. I mingle. D*S. (owner) talks with me. I'm elated everytime he says my name like he's a fucking rock star or something. Bates sees me and wraps me in a giant hot guy hug. Tells me he's so happy to see me. Also tells me that everyone is just fucking thrilled with me, and that D*S. actually told him that he HIGHLY and GREATLY appreciates me as an employee. I get a little teary eyed. Talk to girls from Toldeo branch. I crack them up. Girls from Federated are nice. D*B is getting trashed fast. Double fisting Bud Light. My kinda girl. We joke about being lesbians. Talk to many other people. Constantly saying, "Hihowareya? I'm Kelly from Midwest in Columbus! Who are you?" Everyone loves me. Meet Vu and his wife. Meet Ed Maynard too. Hang a little with Deb's husband Nathan (nice guy) and Big Daddy Dave from Federated (keeps slapping my ass.) Talk to Tommy from the Westchester branch. He is nice. Hot too. Keeps asking me to come home with him. Realize that not only am I NOT drunk but I'm also excersizing good judgement when I decline. Jokingly tell him we could go fuck in the car. He smiles and says he only fucks in his bed. Get lots of hugs from lots of people. Everyone LOVES me. I crack people up. Tonight was my night. The whole time I think LF and DM have left since I still see SU sitting at the Midway Bar. Get pissed. LF finally shows up at some horse game. She's been there the whole time. Fuck a horse. She is ready to go now. Tries to rush me out the door without even saying goodbye to anyone. I tell her its rude and she should at least thank Deb and Jeff for putting on a great party. LF bitches. We leave after I make sure to say goodbye to every single person there, individually, just to piss her off. Tommy offers to take me home again. Back at the hotel LF becomes a super bitch. Says mean things about how many people I sleep with. I don't talk to her for the rest of the night. Sleep in a bed with big giant smelly SU. I have no pants and I hate it. Some folks from the party are loud next door and I really wanna go hang but I sleep instead. Steve calls the front desk to complain. LF's mouth keeps moving and I hear noise but I ignore her. It's over.

Saturday: Wake up, eat 1/2 a bagel at the free "Continental" breakfast, leave. Drive fast as ass back to Columbus cuz I'm tired. Drop SU at his house, call LF and tell her I'll be back later for H's birthday party (with no intention of coming back at all.) Go home. Read mail, sleep. Wake up at about 2pm, with no fucking voice. Feel like a mid-pubescent boy. Watch a movie. Try calling SB, his phone says, "At the subscriber's request, this phone no longer recieves incoming calls." Wonder, and hope its just the generic message the company puts up when they shut off your phone. Worry a little. Sleep. Wake up around 6pm. Watch some crap, sleep again. Wake up around 7:30pm. Watch some SVU, sleep, wake up in the middle of a new one and think I've gone crazy. Talk to Tony, decide to go to Zuey's. TM mentions rolling. I get kinda excited. Shower. Head to the Zue, pay my tab from Thursday. Drink one amaretto sour and talk to BR and B.Mac a little bit. Wonder why MR hasn't returned my call. Txtmsg NC and give him a dare to do. TM calls. I gotta go meet him to get the rolls. Finish my drink and leave. Debate calling SB. Call Aaroff instead. No answer, worry. Get to TM. Follow him to JF/OG/Be*'s house. Wait from fucking 11:15pm until 2am for the dumb rolls. While waiting, DJ M shows up with the one boy whose name I didn't remember and didn't ask again tonight and what appeared to be Nameless's girlfriend. Dance a little with the white lady. I take a few steps with her and decide that one is enough. Not feeling it anymore. Give MF a bracelet. He wants me to call him this week. They leave. Finally at 2am when the rolls arrive, I take it and wait. Nothing happens until almost 3:30am. Sucks. Comes on hard and fast but fades. Listen to Eminem, convinced he lives in my head. So glad I'm not on acid. I'm just fucking retarded. Watch about a million poker games and twitch a lot. Leave around 4:45am. Come home, wonder how my one big magnet got moved to the bottom part of the fridge. Blame it on Sheeba. Take out contacts, put on glasses, and start working on my blog. Think about SB. Wonder why.

Late, Kel

Stupid and Contagious

Yes, that is me.

I've had a fever since Sunday morning. Yuck. Actually it's Midnight and I've been fever-free for ALMOST 24 hours. I hate having a fever because there is nothing you can do about it. Although I have been drinking Robitussin like it's my job since about 4:30pm this afternoon... That's the contagious part!

So today, I did something very Un-Kelly like - I joined a club. Not just any club mind you, a "health" club - California Fitness. Oh yes. $161.00 for a two month temporary membership... I'm hoping that working out 3 times a week for 2 months will be enough to jump start my metabolism and I won't have to do the whole year thing... we'll see.

That's isn't even the stupid part though. The stupid part is that I told myself I wasn't going to get all caught up in the whole SB shenanigan, but I am. I tried really hard, but I am. Yesterday was Valentine's Day, and although I am happier to be alone than to be with a shitty husband, it still sucked being alone on Valentine's Day. Nobody wished me Happy V-Day except DD, LF, and Eric... none of whom I desire to date (haha) and SB didn't call me either... TM saw him at Zuey's though, and according to TM, my name didn't even come up. *cry*

I am very confused about boys right now. Today is the first day I have drank since Saturday night and I am killing it. Time for me to go downstairs and down a few more before I pass out. Half my face is stuffed up and I have this weird dry cough so hopefully the alcohol will help.

Late, Kel

Okay, recap of last night

So it was about 9:45pm, and I decided to call SB to see if he wanted to come over. He picked up his phone (score #1) and we talked for a minute. He said that he did indeed want to come over, but 1) he was in Zuey's parking lot, about to go in and meet his friends and 2) he was worried that I felt like he was using me for sex and had thought about cutting us off. I reassured him that I did not in fact feel like that, and TM had just fucked up my mind the other night. So he told me to meet him at Zuey's (I had planned on going anyway) and we'd hook up. Yay!

I got to The Zue around 10:15ish and JR was there so we talked a little bit before I went over to SB and said hi. The whole night was fairly boring, there was a Dj but he played some pretty shitty music and nobody I knew was there besides SB, J*, B*, B*'s old lady girlfriend, JR, BR, and MW. TG showed up later on and bought me two drinks, but after $15 and 2 hours, I was ready to leave. SB and J* had left about an hour before to go meet R* at the Pit Stop.

I called SB when I was leaving to see if he wanted to come over. He said I should just come to his place because he was a little too buzzed to drive to mine. So I headed on over, and when I got there I expected it to just be SB (mostly because it has always seemed that he isn't really interested in having me chill with him and his friends.) I walked up to his open front door and saw not one, but TWO of his buddies (R* and J*) inside and they were all just hanging and being boys. It was crazy. They were all starving and had to get pizza. R* had the wonderful idea to order it for pick up so SB and I could have some time alone. They were only gone about 10 minutes and we were right in the middle of a little oral action when we heard them pull up yelling and laughing. It was hilarious because they walked in and SB was like, "Do you see what I'm missing?!" and stood up to reveal his massive hard on... It was so funny because R* was like, "See J* I told you we should have gone back to my place for a few minutes!" Hahaha. They hung out some more and literally killed 2 pizzas in about 10 minutes and then left.

After this, everything proceeded as usual, with some heavy petting and so on, but it was somehow different. SB made it a point to light some candles and turn on his (cheesey but gives off romatic glow) neon guitar light and we sat on the couch for a minute just kinda touching on each other. I rubbed on his hair as always and he murmured, "I could fall in love with that" and just kept on caressing me in a way... less of a caressing-leading-to-sex way and more of a someother kind of way... I can't think of a word to describe it. Now comes the best/weirdest part. If you have been reading my blog regularly, you might remember that SB is not into kissing on the lips - he mentioned once that it's reserved for girlfriends only. Well last night I kid you not, we were just sitting and (this is gonna sound mushy like a romance novel) staring into each other's eyes and kind of enjoying the moment when he gently took my head in his hands and ran his fingers through my hair and kissed me straight on the lips. It was the most tender, sensual kiss I have had in a really REALLY long time. When he finally pulled away, he was still staring into my eyes, and he was like, "You know, I never kiss on the lips." I told him that I did remember, and that it made me feel kinda special. He replied that it should.

Note: I have no idea what to infer from this!!!!!

Moving on, as we sat on the couch after that kiss, he did nothing but compliment me. I was wearing my favorite sky-blue turtleneck sweater and he told me that the color made my eyes look very dark and sensuous, and the sweater itself made my "figure" look good (I'm assuming he meant tits, hahaha, because that is what everyone else says.) He said that he thought I looked really good in my glasses too, but he preferred without because he wants to know that I can see what he's doing to me... He just kept going on and on, constantly finding something after something to say about everything. My nipple peircings are looking great, my tits are beautiful, he loves the way I look right into his eyes all the time, he loves the way I touch his hair, the look on my face when I come, my ass (in general I suppose, there were no specifics.) It felt really good to have a man telling me all these wonderful things while he's slowly undressing me and gently touching me all over.

But I digress... we did our thing on the couch and then moved upstairs to his bedroom where we did it two more times - he made sure that I got off at least twice before he did, and the third time I wasn't even planning on it but he made me come anyway. It was awesome. And I don't know if I was just imagining this but somehow everything felt a little better, a little closer than just a fuck. I certainly got off better than I ever have with him, and he said that it was one of the best he's had in a long time too. (Of course you must remember that every time Scott and I have sex, he claims it's better than the time before and I'm "crazy good" because "Damn, girl, you really do something to me...") After that we kept drifting in and out of sleep and I kept telling him to go set his alarm (but he never did, hence the rushing wake up at 6am!) and we slept peacefully in each other's arms all night long. No boyfriend, not my husband, not even my mom when I was little - nobody I have ever slept in a bed with has EVER slept with their arm around me all night long without moving - except SB. *grin*

I'm in a terribly good mood today, but I'm not going to let this take me over. I'm going to keep going as I have been, and wait to see if he is going to make a move towards something more. Maybe he just didn't realise what kind of feelings I had until our all out conversation the other morning... or maybe he wanted me to actually say it out loud. He kept saying that day that we weren't just fuck buddies and we were friends too, and he definitely wasn't using me - he actually wants to spend time with me but he is so busy (which I can understand, I mean he works in some kind of construction type job, he has two kids, etc.) I think I may have turned some sort of corner though...

Back to Law & Order: SVU and my non-beer malt beverage.

Late!

I just got Home

I just got home.
It's 6:39am.
No, I was not in jail, or sleeping in my car, or out doing drugs.
I was sleeping in SB's bed until about 6:15am when he woke me up because he had to go to work... he wanted to let me sleep but didn't know what time he would be home this evening.
More later, right now I need to sleep a little more... and dream!

Bee double Eee double ARE YOU ENN

Say it out loud. I promise you will laugh. Then you'll promptly feel kinda dumb.
In the style of B.Mac, I proudly yell, "BeeeEEEEEeeeR!"

Yes, my fellow Americans, I have given up Beer for Lent. I hear your shock - "She celebrates Lent?! Has she gone back to the church?! Oh My God, has it finally happened?!" Sadly, no. I was raised Catholic, as some of you may remember, but declared it a cult with a really awesome Koresh-nicahv (That would be My Big JP, I can't help but love the Pope because he used to be an actor.) I gave up Catholicism around age 17, and although they call me a Witch, I really prefer the term "Naturalist". Your shock should be at the fact that I made a solid commitment to not drink a drop of beer for 40 days straight. Not the commitment! THE BEER.

Maybe you don't understand me. Are you really hearing what I'm saying? Read my lips: No More Beer. No bread, no beer. No beer, no cigarettes. No cigarettes, no lung hacking. No lung hacking, more energy. More energy, more desire to exersize/move. More excersize, Less weight. Less weight = skinny = hot guys lining up at MY door. See, there is a plan.

However those other things come later (as I sit typing and pausing every so often to listen for the knock-knock-knock of the pizza delivery man) because right now the focus is on Beer. Or should that be off beer? Anyway, it's day #3 of the no-beer days and I rule. I forgot yesterday and took a sip, but I promptly used my powers to turn the beer into Holy Water and then it didn't count. Yes, I cheated, but Beer is the staff of life for me - now what am I going to lean on?! I tell you kids, it's a lot harder to not drink beer than it is to drink it. (I'm Ms. Obvious.)

This week was rather interesting. I found out that there is a mouse or something living in my wall behind the stove/oven. I don't know if the mexicans have come to fix it yet... fix it? Inspect it maybe... Who knows. All I know is that Sheeba is having a disturbing relationship with my spice rack and I'm just very worried about the effects of garlic on her silky smooth fur. What else happened this week? Well Wednesday I was broke so I stayed home and didn't call anyone. MF called me at 1:30am however, and told me that he missed me and so on. He sounded sincere. I miss him too. It was weird for him to move away, first because he had become like my best friend and second because I can no longer keep tabs on his cash flow (Yes, he still owes me $630.) We talked for a little while and then I fell asleep. It was a Jim Beam and No Beer night.

Thursday I went out with TM to The Jerk to meet WR for a couple drinks. WR's brother, MR, was there (cute but has weird lips... not sure if I dig that or not) and RB showed up too. Also, C. Peterson was there! I haven't seen him in almost two years. We worked together at CBMG (April- August 2003) and according to my soon-to-be-ex-husband, C. and I had an affair. Ha! I wish I'd had an affair with a hotty like C... mmmm... ok, off track.
We stayed at The Jerk for awhile (owner M bought me a Long Island and WR bought me the Beer/Holy Water) and then went down to Jimmie's Buckeye Lounge to see <3 TV <3 (those are little hearts, not "less than" 3's) and his brand spanking new karaoke show. It is a small place but it was okay. He had us run a few errands for us which was cool because he gave me $20 for gas. He had wanted us to stop by some place called Cliffside to see JB the other KJ (formerly of Tony's Bar and Grille) but we never got the call so we went back to JBL. JB ended up calling me while I was there and the music was loud so I thought he was talking to me about the show at Cliffside. Well I was asking him questions about it like how packed was it and so on, and he's like "Um, I'm not doing a show..." which was bad timing for me to repeat what he had said because TV (his boss) was standing right next to me... yeah. I felt like a chode but JB called me back and said that he didn't really give a flying fuck. I hope he's okay with his California Fitness Trainer job because I have a feeling that TV won't keep him around much longer. Oh well. At least I wasn't completely the cause of it... *sigh*

I danced with the white lady about four times last night and couldn't fall asleep until almost 5:30am. That really sucked. I don't know how I used to be a professional dancer like that - I woke up feeling like shit and I still kinda feel like shit. I'm so glad I stopped dancing seriously.

Today has been rather boring, but I think my pizza will be here soon. After that I am heading out to Zuey's because I haven't been there in a freaking week or more and my body just doesn't know what to do away from the Zue. (Haha, a poem.)

Late!

Happy Fat Fucking Tuesday!

So yay. Mardi Gras. Blah. I give up giving things up for lent.

Guess who woke me up this morning?

~SB~

At what time?

~7:57am~

And what did he want?

~ Well apparently I left him a (drunken) upset message last night to call me as soon as he could today... he listened, score, and we talked for almost an hour this morning. He apologized for bailing so fast but had no excuse - although he did mention the fact that he has never lied to me (well, he did once but felt bad and ended up telling the truth shortly thereafter) and said he would try to answer the phone more and see me more and so on... although he still doesn't want to have a girlfriend... I actually called him out bluntly and he never missed a beat so I trust that he actually IS NOT with her still... long story... too tipsy to write...

Life Is Okay Today... still bitter because it is February but it happens. More tomorrow when I can concentrate - right now, it's time for more beer (my only friend) and I know this because Sheeba is licking my arm trying to get me to go downstairs...

I have a microwave now, maybe I will make some popcorn!

Late.

A Conversation

• Kelly : i hate everyone
• Izzy : aww why is that?
• Kelly : scott came over tonight
• Izzy : even me, although I am not the best human being in the world?
• Kelly : spent about 20 minutes telling me how beautiful and hot i am
• Kelly : haha you are but...
• Kelly : then we fucked
• Izzy : but what?
• Izzy : mm hmm
• Kelly : lol you're far away and not my sexual type
• Izzy : sorry I had a feelin
• Kelly : well anyway, after scott and i were done and having a cigarette his "ex" girlfriend called
• Kelly : he ran out the door to talk to her, came back in
• Kelly : 5 min later she called again out the door he goes -comes back - "well i gotta get goin - Kelly it was great spending time with you"
• Kelly : "but i gotta go to TJ's and then I guess I'm goin to her house"
• Izzy : at this point I think I'm anyones type, so what happened after his ex called?
• Kelly : see above
• Izzy : ouch
• Izzy : damn I type too slow too
• Kelly : i said "i'm so hurt" and he says to not be hurt becuz he's not gonna sleep with her - becuz he doesn't want to AND he has a conscience - gives me a nice hug and is on his way - i fucking hate men - i dont know why i'm so undesirable and it is making me very upset
• Kelly : its like how can you spend an hour telling me how beautiful and hot i am and fucking me - then go to your "ex" girlfriend's house?!
• Kelly : and a guy will tell me "oh i dont want a girlfirend" then get some hoe as his woman
• Izzy : yeah that is fucked up
• Kelly : i think i'm nice - nice person, nice tits, nice pussy, nice cash flow, nice cooking, nice car, nice job, nice family
• Kelly : seriously do i need to be a white trash fucking bitch to get a boyfriend? because all the white trash bitches I know have men
• Izzy : funny I can't see how you are undesirable
• Kelly : i know that i'm a bit nuerotic and very overweight and not so girly - but christ i'm not a terrible person
• Izzy: *hug*
• Kelly : awww thanks
• Izzy : I dont know, you look fine to me
• Kelly : thanky thanky
• Kelly : i have been crying for like an hour straight

I give up on everyone. Seriously. If you have questions/comments/suggestions, feel free to post. Time for more beer - my only true friend.

Stupid Bowl Sunday

I hate Stupid Bowl Sunday.

In fact, I hate the whole month of February.

It starts off with my birthday, which was fine the first 18 times, then the next 2 were torture until the 21st, and each one thereafter brings me closer to the end of my life.
Two weeks after my birthday we have Valentine's Day. Yee-fucking-ha. Another day to remind me of how fucked up my love life has been.
Then two weeks after that we have the end of February. 28 solid days of nothingness.

I am very bitter today.

So I have no money left, this move totally drained my wallet. I literally have ZERO dollars. Another thing to be bitter about. I am smoking Charter Menthol Lights and they taste like ass. I have no food in my kitchen (take that back, I have a chicken but it is frozen.) I have nothing to drink except 2 beers (cry, no beer!) Life is sucky today.

My birthday was on Tuesday (go me, I'm old) and so I went out to Tony's Bar and Grille (Chinese-American Cuisine) where everyone was supposed to meet me for karaoke and fun birthday times. Nobody showed up until late when TM and OG dropped by (TM was mad at me anyway but got over it.) I ended up getting plastered (yes, again, I know it's the phrase of my year) and started talking to one of the owners, SS (he only owns like 2% but it is more than I own!) Turns out that SS (aka Skilley - he has the skills to pay the bills) went to high school with all the guys I work with and even lived with DD's brother (who no longer works there anyway.) Skilley was hitting on me big time, and I ended up rubbing on his cock while we sat at the bar talking about drunk things. He has a really long cock - oh my god - it was only about 3 inches from his knee down his thing while he was sitting in a chair. I almost died right there. I showed a whole bunch of guys my nipple piercings, and JB too. He came over later and I gave him a blow job. He had the best tasting cum ever - I think it's because he works out and eats super healthy. That was awesome. Not a very happy birthday, but a very drunk/cocky birthday...

I went to Zuey's last Thursday and ran into SB . He was very drunk but not being an asshole. He was with his friend R*, who seemed nice enough but he was obviously just as drunk since he spilled a full beer all over the bar. Mc was there as well and he also spilled his beer all over trying to bolt across the corner to light my cigarette. *sigh* JR was there too and he was drunk and decided to profess a little bit of his undying love for me, but that was okay because I got my tools back.

I had one beer and decided to leave because I didn't want to spend all my money there, and I said good bye to SB and JR and Mc and as I was hugging KP good bye she was like "Hey, I'll buy you a beer!" So just as I had told everyone I was leaving, I took off my coat and sat down to have a beer. I know it must have looked weird to everyone but whatever - who can pass up free beer?! SB was sitting across the way with some of his friends, and after a minute the one redneck looking asshole not nice guy named Sh* started pointing at me with his beer and giving me weird looks. SB was leaning over the table so he kinda slowly turned and peered at me thru the nook of his arm and shot me the strangest look I have ever seen... I didn't know what to think. It was like when you are in a room and you can tell that the group of people over there is talking about you. I chugged my beer and left. As I was on my way home I called SB (who, as usual, didn't answer his phone) and left a message inquiring about the weird looks, and probably making the situation worse by telling him that I am not the kind of girl who will spy on someone... but that is how they made me feel. Anyway that was Thursday and it is Sunday now and he hasn't called me. LF says I shouldn't worry and he probably doesn't think anything of it (which he may not even remember due to his level of drunkenness) but I don't know. I'm not going to call him either... Well I'm going to try to not call him. He still has my movie though.

Friday night I felt like a convenience store. TM and J* came over to borrow my phone and take some of my heavy stuff upstairs for me. Then B (a friend of M the DJ ) stopped by to chat for a second. He was sitting all quiet on the couch and finally confessed to being really nervous because he remembered liking me when we had met at M's old apartment about 4-5 months ago. He had assumed TM was my boyfriend so he never followed up. He had to get back to Dockside, so he left and I gave him a hug and my number. (No call yet.) Then DS called me up and he was drunk. He said he wanted to come see the new place, so I told him how to get here (he was across the street.) He came in and point-blank asked if I wanted to make out. We did, and ended up fucking, which I know made him happy because he's been after me since last May. It was alright, I was just drunk and a little blown so the feeling wasn't really there. He does have a really sizeable member though, I may have to fuck him again when I'm not so trashed.

Last night JAFH took me out for my birthday - we went to Max and Erma's (yay!) like the old days. They changed their entire menu and it really threw me for a loop. I was semi-sad. After dinner we walked down to the wine store and bought a mini bottle of Chambord and a big bottle of wine (Yellowtail, Shiraz.) We went back to his place and chilled for awhile and then got into the hot tub. Fun times. I like hot tubs because they make people tell the truth. Wine helps too.

Today I woke up at 8:30am in the recliner with my glasses on - I must have fallen asleep and not remembered (hah!) So I climbed into bed (aka, the couch) and slept again until noon when I woke up and thought I had lost my mind. There was some extensive thing on VH-1 about Michael Jackson having a mental disorder which stopped his emotional growth at age 13 or something and that is why he has such a problem. He isn't actually sexually attracted to little boys, he just thinks he is one and wants to play but the problem is that he's a grown man and SOME of his characteristics of being a grown man get confused with the little kid ones and THAT is where the trouble starts happening. I thought I had lost my mind because nobody ever talks anything but trash about Michael Jackson anymore.

I got my computer and everything hooked up (obviously) and now I have to tackle unpacking a lot of dumb little boxes and putting shit away. I hate hate HATE moving.

Looking back on this blog, I wonder if I drink too much or too little.

What a terrible month. Maybe March will be better.