Fuck You All

I cannot believe the shit that has happened to me tonight. I talked to SB. For like two hours. Excuse the typos, I'm half asleep and crying as I write this.

So, Poke. Thought things were great. Everything, going fine. Talk to him tonight. He tells me his exgirlfriend came to his work and seduced him and he went down on her. Didn't think about me once. Didn't consider us dating since we've only known each other a month. Never said he wanted to "start seeing me" instead of Kaitlyn. Told me I was her replacement for hanging out. He doesn't feel any feelings towards me other than fuck buddy and he doesn't know where I got that idea from that he did. appartevnly i made it up my mind. i know he said it. i dont make things up. not like that.

Mike the DJ called and we talked for two hours and it made me feel better but worse. Poke left his porn here and I'm going to return it to him tomorrow. I might take it to the customer serviece desk at Kroger where he works. Give it to the manager, tell him what an awfu l person Poke is. I cannot believe htis happened to me. I thought that he was different but apparently I can jsut chalk him up to the other numbers 17 thru 45. He asked how can he be number 45 my pussy is so tight... i told him i'm just good like that.

By the way SB never showed up... I sanyone surprised? IO have one beer left in the fridge and I do not want to go to wrok tomorrow (today) I just want ot lay in bed and fgeel sorry fotr myslef. Why can others do terrible things to peopl e while i am so nice and just get shit on. I have loveed mauybe three men in my life only to be left alone completely alone and hurtying. Not fair. not fiar at all. I really shoul dgo to lseep but i really hate crying myself to sleep because i wake up with pillow stuck to my face and that is no fun. gg tol d me to not care an i told her she was lucky to have a good man. for once in my life i would love to have even a semi good man care about me. all i have are men who say they care and then the enxt day there is a new woman to care about insrteasd of me.e

Poke said ihe would call me in mid august. i hate him. i cannot believe it. i am just going to go cry. i hate him adn i hate everyone eles and i'm just goin to become a hermit and die in my apartment alone lik ei expected to.

i am fucking pathetric and i just knwo i will feel dumb orf oposting thi sbut i hadf to get i ti out because i am so so s o so sad righ tnow i have no one to turn to not even tony tm who was my best friend i have no one to call at 4am i just compeltey alone... ther eis no one who would eb here for me, tony is hte only on e mauybe i made amistake but i dont want him to hit me anyomer... i ask fo r punishment. i 'm terrinlbe. i am going o t be d. hagve e wonerful;er eveing.n/.