Virginity Can Be Cured!

Friday

After work, got my nails done. Pretty lavender. Yay me. WR called me and needed me to go back to the office to email some crap to someone. I was like "darn it" but went anyway, AFTER I got my nails done. Took me 10 minutes. I just rock. Went home, was bored. Around nine thirty, I went to the Zue to watch Red, White and Boom! on the big screen TV with KL. GG showed up with Wendell (yay) and it was cute. GG could see some flashes, and KL and I were trying to describe a firework. I was like, "some of them look like spiders, like daddy long-legs" and KL said "some of them look like hundreds of dots in a circle." I never thought it would be hard to describe a firework. I was in a limey mood (and by limey I mean limes like green sour things, not limey as in British people) so I started off with Corona, moved to Gin & Tonic, then a Vodka Gimlet, then a Brad's Lime Kelly, then some more Corona, and so on. Everything had lime! Yay! I love limes! Anyway, after awhile, I think it was around eleven thirty or twelve, fucking SB mother fucker showed up. I tried not to cry, and GG kept trying to talk about other stuff, but I just couldn't stop looking at him. Grrr. I didn't cry when he was there, and I was semi-glad that he didn't even acknowledge my presence. I still strongly dislike him, however, I think about him every day and I cannot get him out of my mind, and there is no logical explanation for it. The only thing that keeps me from thinking about him is his brother. Imagine that. SB left after about an hour, and then GMc came in. We talked for awhile, and then he left. We made plans to go see TM on Monday the 4th. I was waiting this whole time for Poke to call me when he got off work so we could hang out. He kept calling me to let me know that he was still coming out to Zuey's, about every half hour. I thought that was awfully nice of him. LS showed up, not drunk, and I was shocked, surprised, and confused. We sat and talked for awhile while GG played pool with RJ. LS bought me a rose from the rose guy with the bucket. I was happy. Around this time, Poke called and said that his brother was having some issue with his girlfriend and so he had to go take care of him before he could come hang out with me. So LS asked if I wanted to come over, and I said yes. I knew Poke wouldn't be done till almost three or four with his brother so I figured I would go hang out with LS for a minute and then go home and chill. Well I went back to LS's place, and upon entering the first words out of my mouth were, "Wow, what a nice place you have." and he said, "thanks." I walked into the living room and saw a picture frame with all these different pictures in it, and one of them was of LS and some blonde chick looking quite happy - in fact, as I looked at the frame, I noticed that most of the pictures were of LS and this blonde chick. So, I'm thinking whatever, he's just not over it, or whathaveyou. I go upstairs to use the bathroom, and as I'm in there, I look around. There are two towels, two toothbrushes, a girl's razor, girl's shampoo/shaving cream/soap, etc. The best part was the open pack of feminine pads on the sink. Obviously, a girl lived here, and had been here recently. As I left the bathroom and walked past the bedroom, I noticed girl's clothes laying on the floor. I walked downstairs, and very calmly told LS I was leaving. He wanted to know why. I told him that it was obvious that a girl lived there, and had been there recently. His dumb ass, instead of possibly coming up with a good lie, says, "it's just this girl I see." He could have said, "my sister is visiting" or something, but no. So I left and went back to Zuey's. I tossed the rose out the window on the way back. I got to Zuey's and I was so angry that the tears were already welling up in my eyes. I couldn't believe I had gotten played like that. GG was still there, so I told her what happened, and I had another Corona. I was so angry I couldn't even see, and then I started to just think about all the shitty things that I let guys do to me, and the little tears started popping out of my eyes and slowly rolling down my cheeks. KL tried to get me to not cry, but it didn't really work. She did make me feel better though, as always. I bought a six pack of Miller Lite and went home and passed out in the chair. I woke up around seven thirty the next morning and had missed three calls from Poke. Funny thing is, I had completely forgotten about him til then.

Saturday

Literally did nothing all day long. Poke called in the afternoon and talked about coming over, but decided to go to Indiana to buy fireworks instead. I didn't care. I went grocery shopping and spent $173.00 (really, it was $172.93 or something.) I shopped well and bought everything on sale. I'm very proud of my shopping abilities. When I got home, I rearranged my whole kitchen practically because I bought so many groceries that my cupboard layout was no longer appropriate. *PROUD!* I cleaned a little bit, since I finally had Swiffer Wets and dishwasher soap, and also cleaned the cat box. I feel a bit dirty when I take out three bags of trash in one day, but then I remember that it's my own fault because I have this problem with throwing out cigarette packs - the empty ones - and they literally pile up around the house. I really should start cutting off the Marlboro Miles - I'd be wearing that rockin' bomber jacket by now! Anyway, I napped on and off for awhile, and then Poke called a few times, and then I napped some more. I finally went to bed around two a.m., after a long day of many naps. Talked to Poke right before sleep, invited him over for dinner.

Sunday

Woke up, talked to Poke. Showered, napped. Poke called to say he wouldn't be able to make it to dinner because he was helping a friend fix his car, and it might take awhile, and he didn't want to call me at the last minute. Napped some more. Poke called AGAIN and said he was coming over. We hung out for a minute, had some sex, and then I made homemade manicotti. We chilled and ate dinner, and then he left. We had a talk about me being the other woman, and before he left he assured me that I am NOT the other woman, but I don't know if I believe him. He is "trying to rekindle the spark" with his high school girlfriend, and hasn't made up his mind about anything yet. Whatever. I napped for about a half hour, and then I was just so fucking bored that I actually went to karaoke at nine'o'clock. It was ridiculous. PP was there, and we talked for awhile. GG came in at some point, and I didn't even know it. Eldo's was fairly packed. AT did the karaoke, because Cat was not there for some reason or another, for the third week in a row. I talked to some people, but mostly hung out with PP. Poke and his girlfriend or whatever she is came in with some friends of his, and they sat at a table next to GG. I didn't feel like seeing him or talking to him, so I just stayed on my side of the bar. Moose and Tomcat and his girlfriend came in, so I knew at least my poor friend GG wouldn't be bored for long. NB came in and I was just tickled. We talked a little, and then PP decided to leave. I went over to say hi to GG finally. I went back to NB, and he was leaving. He told me to hurry up and finish my beer so he could come home with me. We went back to my place and it was literally like in a movie - we walked in, locked the door, and he proceeded to rip my clothes off, right in the kitchen. He looks at me after a minute and says, "I got your text message the other day - about having some adult fun..." It was wonderful. Too bad GMc called in the middle of it. I was waiting for my mom to call because my Uncle Ronnie is back in the hospital again, and they didn't expect him to make it through the night. So when my phone rang I was like, "damn, I have to answer" and I failed to look at the caller ID before I picked up. When I went back to NB he was asleep. Poor guy works like 80 hours a week. I'm lucky that the time he has off he sometimes spends with me. We slept, and in the morning...

Monday

Woke up around 8:45 a.m., and tried to get NB to wake up. I thought he was awake, and I fell back asleep, only for us to both be woken up at 9:15 a.m. by his mom calling his cell phone. He took a shower while I made coffee and watch The Today Show. He hung out until about 10:30 a.m. when his work paged him to come in, as usual, early. GMc called just after that and headed on over, while I took a shower. We went and saw TM in prison, FINALLY! This was the 3rd time we've tried to go see him, and every other time he's had a visitor. See, we tricked them all by getting there at 11:30 a.m. before any other bitches could get in and see him. Yay. We were there for about an hour, and left. GMc decided we needed to keep with our tradition of drinking after trying to visit TM, so we headed up to the Ruckmoor Pub. We each had about five beers, and since GMc's friend was bartending, we got it gratis. That rocked. After that I went and hung out at my parents' house for a while, had dinner, and went driving with my little brother. In the evening I went to the Westerville fireworks with GG and Moose. We parked up on Schrock Road in the plaza parking lot, and it was a good view. GG could see the flashes of these fireworks too. After that, the three of us headed to Hounddogs (yay!) for some House White Pizza, Diet Cokes (well, GG had Mt. Dew) and Jalapeno Poppers. Yum times Nine. While we were there, the Eminem called me. I told him I would call him back after I was done eating. Of course, ten minutes later, he calls again. The conversation went something like this:

K: "Have you done any coke tonight?"
J: "No."
K: "Promise? Because if you think I'm driving all the way to Guam to be unsatisfied, you're sorely mistaken."
J: "I promise. You'll be satisfied."
K: "I'll smack you."
J: "Call me when you're done."

GG, Moose, and I finished eating and headed back to GG's to drop her off and pick up my car. GMc called me on the way because he was terribly bored at work. We had a regular conversation, mostly about him eating, as usual. I went home, traded contacts for glasses, and headed up to fucking Delaware to be with Eminem. I called him and he's like, "Hey baby, miss you, are you coming up here soon?" and was semi-elated when I told him I was indeed on my way. When I got there, his cousin C was there (the same cousin I usually talk about for Eminem, only I can't remember what I refer to him as. Today it is "C".) C and I talked for awile while Eminem ran around doing god-knows-what. And, on the counter, was a little plate with coke on it. I was mad. But C vouched for Eminem and said that in fact, when we spoke on the phone, Eminem had not yet done any coke. I was still mad. We watched some bad porn for awhile, me and C, and then Eminem came downstairs finally and I was like, "hey, are we gonna fuck soon or what?" so we went upstairs and watched some even worse porn. This guy in it kept yelling and scaring me to death. Of course, J*R had his regular old problem, so we went to bed. I was rather hyper, so instead of sleeping we talked. We fucked around, talked, laughed, etc. I learned about his childhood, and told him about mine. Nothing terribly deep, just stuff we never knew about each other before. We made jokes about being married and shit like that too. Then suddenly he goes, "I have to be honest with you" and I'm like thinking to myself, "oh god, what now."

"I really like you. A lot. But really, I've never dated anyone as big as you."

Are you fucking serious, Clark?!

I picked his brain on that one. I was like asking him well who cares and so on, and reminding him of how he's always telling me how hot I am, and how he likes "those big tits" and so on. How he is constantly calling ME to get a piece and how he even let it slip out one night - the big phrase - "I love you." Even though that was an accident, I'm sure if he found me grotesque, well, he couldn't have let the Love word in there at all - how can you "love" fucking someone who is ugly? How can you "love" her tits? How can you "love" this and "love" that if you are so concerned with the fact that she's overweight compared to many people? I think he's nuts. And now, more than ever, I'm 100% convinced that he is absolutely without a doubt completely mortified by commitment.
I fell asleep at around 5:30 a.m. and woke up at 7:30 a.m. Drove home and slept for another 45 minutes before going to work. What a day.

Late,
Kel